Chapter Nine
The shower was barely big enough for both of us, leaving me to feel a bit crowded but grateful Dianus was there, nonetheless. I needed him to keep me upright, literally. I was beyond exhausted. The man was an animal. He’d come and be able to get hard again immediately after. I didn’t exactly understand how he was able to do that. He didn’t look like or give me the impression he was on anything.
He was just so damn virile with all his muscles and woodsy musk. And he had a lot of hair. Not just his thick mane and beard, but also the pattern that started over his pecs, streaming down his chest to the base of his cock, and even over his thick thighs, clear down to his ankles. Maybe he was just filled with testosterone because of good genetics? Plus, I was sure all the hiking involved in his job helped.
“What are you looking at, pretty woman?”
“Your body. It’s just really masculine.”
He threw his head back with a carefree laugh as he scrubbed at his chest. “Ah, that is a good thing, yes? You are into men?”
I snorted at his weird joke. “Yes, big fan of men.” I squeezed his bicep. “Don’t let this go to your head, but you’re just so easy to swoon over.”
He rinsed off his chest and stepped out of the shower. “I don’t think I follow. Tell me more.” He snatched a towel to dry off, turning to face me to keep the conversation going.
I continued to rinse my body. “You have a handsome face and a nice beard. Great hair.”
Just in time with my praise, he pulled said hair from the towel and shook his head like a dog. I scoffed, diving deeper into the stream of water.
“What else pleases you?” he asked.
“I love your eyes. They’re warm and intelligent. Oh, and I like how broad your shoulders are.”
“They are strong,” he agreed.
I got flustered watching him towel down his chest, his pecs and biceps rippling with each movement before he dried off even lower, bending his leg to rest his foot on the lip of the shower. The action caused his junk to dangle.
Who fucking knew a big dick and balls swinging around would distract me at the ripe age of 24, but here I was . . . flustered as fuck.
“Shea?” His voice snapped me out of my astonishment.
“Hmm?”
He roughly dried off his private parts and legs with a wry smile. “Am I distracting you?”
“It’s just, I, um—” I swallowed hard. “I haven’t seen a guy dry off like that in a while.”
If ever.
He hung up the towel with a wink. “Happy to be your distraction.” Before I could say anything cheeky back, he leaned inside the shower. “I will be honest, seeing those glorious tits of yours all soapy makes me want to bury my face in them, but I am assuming water is a scarcity in this cabin, so I am going to leave you to it to stop myself.”
Feeling emboldened, I squished them together to tease him. “One last goodbye?”
He kissed each nipple then, with a parting nuzzle, walked away buck ass naked into the cabin.
By the time I got out, he had put on his plain gray thermals and tended to the fire and served each of us up some pie.
“Pie and sex.” I nodded with approval. “I like the way you celebrate, Dianus.”
He pulled me down on the couch. “And to think, it is not even Yule yet.”
In just my bathrobe, I felt suddenly shy, like sitting down I might flash him. Which was absurd because he’d gotten well acquainted with my body tonight, but I felt a little disheveled with my wet hair. I reminded myself that not only had Dianus seen me naked, but he had witnessed me come apart through several orgasms, arguably more vulnerable than wet hair.
Shoving my doubts aside, I focused on the pie and, more specifically, how he carefully nibbled it off the fork. It was kind of cute that he ate timidly, like he wasn’t used to utensils. Who knew, maybe he was overthinking things too, just like I was, and he was forcing himself to be polite and eat slowly since I bet he just chomped down granola bars most of the time at work.
“Do you ever bake?” I asked.
“No, um, not really. I should, if it would be as tasty as this. You are really talented.”
“Thank you.” I shifted how I was seated and attempted to pull the robe even farther across my legs while still managing to keep the fork balanced on my plate.
“Here, let me take that,” he offered as he stood.
“Thank you.”
He watched me fuss with my robe and hair as he put the dishes in the sink. “May I braid your hair?”
I looked up at him from where he stood in front of the couch. His hair was damp, but his curls were framing him in an effortlessly attractive way. “Oh, um, yeah, sure.”
“The village I spent my youth in, the women were known for their intricate braids. It was their way to get together and gossip. Since I was around them often, I learned a thing or two.”
He stepped into the bathroom and came back with my comb. I dug a satiny hair tie out of my robe pocket and handed it to him before I faced the fire as he stood behind me. I didn’t know what to expect to be honest. Was he going to put it in pathetic pigtails and this was all just a joke?
Thinking of previous “jokes” played on me by other men, I visibly flinched, drawing my shoulders up to my ears.
“Sorry, lovely, did I pull your hair?” he asked, peering around me to gauge my facial expression.
“No, sorry, just . . . memories.”
He went back to gently combing the ends. “Of what, might I ask?”
I stared at the fireplace. “It’s nothing.”
“Is it the reason you are up here all by yourself?”
I guessed he saw right through me. Maybe since this was only a fling, I could be honest? It wasn’t like I was going to see Dianus ever again. Maybe talking about it with someone who wasn’t the dean of students or my aunt would help me? Like a peer?
I cleared my throat. “I, um, had a problem with a guy in one of my classes last semester. His name is Lance. We went on a few dates, then he invited me to a Halloween party at his house. I had a couple drinks to work up some courage, and we ended up hooking up in his room, but the second it was over, before I could even put on my clothes or clean up, he flung open the door and in the hallway were a bunch of his friends shining the lights on their phones at me while making pig noises and whooping and hollering.”
“Oh, Shea.” He squeezed my shoulder.
“One of the guys took a picture of me, naked on the bed. I had to scramble to get enough clothes on to leave the party, but by the time I got home, the picture had already circulated. They kept calling me the Halloween Hog.”
I blinked back tears.
Dianus kissed the top of my head and wrapped his arms around my chest from behind. “That was cruel and very wrong of him. I am so sorry that happened. To take advantage of you at such a vulnerable moment—” He cleared his throat. “It is awful.”
“Thank you.” I squeezed his forearms where they rested over my chest before he straightened. “I told the campus police, and since Lance and I had a class together, I had to let the professor know because I needed to be removed from a group assignment we had together.”
“I am glad you told someone who could help.”
With my hair now thoroughly combed straight, Dianus took the liberty of just playing with it, running the strands through his hands and gently clawing his fingers across my scalp. It was heavenly and almost a distraction from the guilt burning on my tongue.
“It’s not what you think,” I whispered. “I made a bad decision. My professor, Dr. Jared Turner”—I rolled my eyes—“was so easy to talk to. So we just kept talking. A lot. First, it was during his office hours, and then it was at his office after his last class, then he invited me for coffee and surprised me with tickets to a really cool exhibit on Ancient Egypt, and well, things got physical.” I let out a sigh. “I can’t believe I fucked my professor. Like, who does that?”
Dianus slowly and methodically braided my hair into a halo around my head. “He took advantage of you, too. Just like the man child at the party.”
I stifled a snort at his remark about Lance. It almost lightened the mood, but my guilt was too distracting. “I just don’t see it that way.”
“Probably because he has convinced you not to,” Dianus said, doubling down on his stance.
“Fair enough. You’re right, but he was, is married. I dated a married man.”
“He was promised to another?”
The gravity of the situation set in. I looked over my shoulder at Dianus. “I worried you’d give me that look, but I promise I didn’t know! He’s pretty young as far as professors go and he didn’t wear a wedding ring. There weren’t any pictures of a wife or kids in his office. No car seats in his car. No mentions of them.”
“So you assumed it was a normal situation.”
“Yes. It didn’t even cross my mind. Maybe I’m na?ve, but I just thought he was single because he probably spent the majority of his twenties pursuing his degree. Getting a PhD is a big commitment.”
“And you liked getting physical where he worked because it was risky? A fellow student could have seen you and you liked that chance, did you not?”
Flashbacks of Jared bending me over his desk whipped through my mind. The sex had been okay. He hadn’t gone down on me, but he’d always expected me to suck him off. He’d loved sitting at his desk while I’d done it. The only reason I’d kept seeing him was we’d have these long philosophical discussions, and when things had gotten physical, he’d dish tons of praise. He hadn’t been hung up on stupid things like stretch marks or fancy lacy panties like a lot of guys my age. It had been refreshing, and maybe a little freeing.
“Yes. There was definite thrill to it.”
He finished off the braid, somehow managing to secure it without needing the hair tie.
I patted the finished product. “This is incredible by the way. Thank you.”
He batted away my praise. “It is nothing. Plus, you will have very pretty waves when it dries.” He sat down on the sofa to face me. “When did you find out about his mate?”
“Mate?”
God, he’s strange sometimes.
Dianus cleared his throat, crossing his arms. “Sorry, his wife.”
“I didn’t find out until I went to his house. It was dark and we started fooling around on his couch. I couldn’t see much. Then his wife came home and turned on the lights. And it was like déjà fucking vu. Me scrambling to get my clothes on while the whole world around me exploded. She was screaming and throwing things at both of us.”
“So he tricked you?”
“I guess you could say that, but I don’t feel that way. I feel like a homewrecker.”
“But he was an authority figure to you. You went to him with a problem, and he knew you were fragile. He used his power—”
“I fucked him on the same couch where his kids watch cartoons!” I yelled. “I wrecked their home. Those kids . . . His wife . . . What kind of na?ve idiot thinks it’s perfectly normal for someone twenty years older to have genuine interest in her?”
Dianus froze for a second. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed.
“He tricked you. He used you when you were already vulnerable from being humiliated at the party. Married or not, he had no reason to believe it was a good time to court you.”
“You don’t get it.”
“No, I think I see it clearly. Both of these men did not deserve you.”
My stomach churned as I dug my front teeth into the inside of my bottom lip.
Dianus rubbed my knee. “Let me ask you this, how did you feel before all of this mistreatment? Were you confident in your body?”
“Sure, some days are tougher than others. The hard days are pretty universal. Like flying.” I dramatically groaned. “Nothing makes me feel more self-conscious than being on an airplane. They squish everyone in there like sardines. It makes me uber aware of my size. I feel bad for the person sitting next to me because they feel my hip.”
His hand roamed from my knee to squeeze my hip with a lazy smile.
I scooted closer to him. “Most of the time, I try to remain neutral about my body. I try to see it as a tool or a gift. It’s a biological marvel. It heals well. It helps me enjoy life with all five of my senses. You know?”
“Yes, absolutely.”
“And being a witch and acknowledging the divine feminine means I see my body as part of the Goddess. When I receive pleasure, it’s a way to venerate Her.”
His eyes shot wider for a millisecond before narrowing, making him look hungry. “Yes. I love the sound of that.”
“But it took awhile to get here.” I shook my head with a wistful laugh. “My first time was awful. Aside from that and my recent experience with these two pricks, sex was always just a part of the human experience. I liked it. It helped me tune into my body, honoring it and also the Goddess. I mean, not to sound all hippie-dippie, but it’s a way to celebrate life.”
“Hippie-dippie,” he echoed, but his tone was slightly confused. It was cute.
“Yes.” I giggled. “And honestly, being physical with someone like you helps. You make me feel so special.”
He leaned in, hovering his lips right over mine. “You are, Shea. And I am so glad you are here with me, so I can keep showing you.”
He pulled me in for a kiss, and then we cuddled on the couch. I wanted to stay awake, but I drifted off before I could fight it. When I woke up the next day, I was naked but under several layers in the bed, with the brightness of snowfall lighting the cabin.
What in the hell? He picked me up and put me into bed?
I patted the mattress in front of my body in a panic. Why was he gone? Maybe he hadn’t liked our time together?
A warm hand covered mine with a gentle squeeze as a solid body pressed into my back, spooning me.
“Hello, lover.” His voice was extra gravelly and deep from sleep.
Pure relief rushed through me. “Hi,” I breathed, grasping his hand. It was so smooth. As I held it up for inspection, my mind grappled with what I was seeing, or rather what was absent from view.
“You . . . you don’t have any palm lines or fingerprints?”
I turned around to face Dianus. He braced himself up on his elbow, staring at his own hand. “I, um, lost them in the forest.”
“What do you mean? Like in some accident at work?”
He cleared his throat that I was sure was extra scratchy from sleep. “Yes, work. I lost them at my vocation.”
“Both?” I forced him to sit up so I could inspect both palms. “Oh, honey, what happened? Did you, like, burn them off? When I was a waitress, that happened to one of my coworkers who touched a hot plate of enchiladas.”
“Yes, a burn.” His eyes bounced from my face to his hands.
Maybe this was a touchy subject and I’d wounded his ego. To distract him, I brought his palms up and smattered on plenty of kisses. “I’m glad you got to keep your hands.”
“Me too, that way I can do this with them.” With a devilish look, he pinned my shoulders to the mattress. I lay there beneath him, willing prey, appreciatively scoping out how his thigh muscles and the side of his ass contracted as he settled between my legs with that massive, hanging cock of his.
I wiggled my hips, dragging myself against the tip of it to ensure it was getting harder.
“Good girl, get me hard with that sweet, sweet, slicked-up cunt of yours.” His hands continued to pin me, but I strangely liked it. It forced me to be bold with my lower half. With limited options, I hooked a leg around him, my heel digging into a firm cheek as I pulled him even closer.
“Look at me,” I said. Admittedly, both of us had been staring somewhere else. When he did, his hair fell around his face in a way I wanted to sear into my memory for all time. He looked ancient, timeless, powerful. And heartbreakingly fleeting.
He was not mine.
He wasn’t anyone’s.
He was just a wild warden living out in the forest. Clearly not interested in anything remotely traditional. He wanted to be alone. I wanted a family, books, and a busy house filled with tons of people who loved me.
It was clear to me this would have to be it. Just a Yule fling. I had to get to Asteria’s house for Christmas and I’d have to get back to school by January for the new semester. I couldn’t stay here. Perhaps I’d look back on this solstice season years from now and be happy I sowed some wild oats. I hoped my future self was grateful I was reckless and horny. At least it would make for a good story.
But why are you putting yourself out there just to get hurt again? Wasn’t twice enough in one year?
I just needed to shut my brain off. “Kiss me.” It was barely more than a whisper. That was all I could muster.
When he did, he put every ounce of passion behind it. I sensed he could tell I was overwhelmed because he let me go and instead brushed all up and down my body with a free hand while the other helped him brace over me.
Breaking the kiss, he ran the tip of his dick through my center. “What is it you want, Shea?”
To stifle a moan, I bit my lower lip and proceeded to fondle his nuts before caressing the base of his cock, helping him tease it. “I want this deep inside me.”
“Mm-hmm, what else?”
“I want, you know . . .”
“If you want it bad enough, you’ll tell me.” He nipped at my lips with his torment.
“I want you to come in me again.”
“You like my mark on you?”
“Yes.”
“You crave my seed?”
“Yes,” I all but hissed. I didn’t know what had gotten into me, but it was like his cum was magic. When we’d fucked yesterday, it had made me feel alive. A complete high. Maybe it had just been some really good pheromones, but I’d felt hornier than an ovulating woman at one of those male stripper shows they had in Vegas.
“Good, do you know what I want?”
I shook my head. “No, what?”
“To fuck those braids loose.”
He proceeded to plunge into me with such fluid motion, I didn’t have to fret or worry it would hurt. I just held on, meeting each thrust. The hunger from last night set in and I felt possessed, almost animalistic.
“This is amazing!” I moaned out. “Oh, please don’t stop! I love how deep you are.”
One thing I loved about how Dianus fucked was he’d enter me and then stay close to stroke and grind instead of jackhammering like some porno. Not only was it intimate and effective, but it also just felt more honest. Like he wasn’t putting on a show or just watching my body for his own pleasure.
I held him tighter, affectionately touching his strong arms and back. Every thrust was brushing up inside me in this teasing way where I was so close to coming.
“I can feel you gripping this cock,” he growled.
“Yes! Fuck, please keep hitting deeper. It’s so fucking deep and hard and good!”
I was losing my damn mind. All I could think about was keeping this going for as long as I could.
He flipped me onto my hands and knees and smacked my ass before sliding back home. His fingers fled to my braided halo to tug my hair in the most delicious way as he ground into me, deep and slow.
“Oh, darling, your ass looks so good like this.”
I circled my hips, taking his cock in my own opposition to his rhythm.
He let out a beasty rumble behind me, clearly enjoying my bait. “You are making my mouth water.” Something damp hit my ass, and I turned around to see him slowly spit, letting it dribble down before he rubbed my hole with his thumb.
“Are you?”
“Touching you here? Yes.” He continued to rim my ass with the pad of his thumb. We had never discussed anal. It was off the menu for me.
“Dianus, I-I—” I fought for a breath while my heart slammed in my chest, my pussy clenching his cock tightly as it seized with an orgasm. Coming down from my climax, I gasped. “I can’t believe you’re touching me there.”
“On the contrary, I think you can’t believe how much you like it.”
“Oh my god!” I yelled, the world turning gold and shimmery around me as I came again. All I could hear over my own heartbeat was Dianus’s throaty chuckle as I collapsed into a boneless, thoughtless pool of a woman beneath him on the bed.
With a gruff noise, he smacked my ass again and turned me over, taking one of my legs to hold it up over his chest while he fucked me sideways. My top boob jiggled and swayed with each buck. Dianus watched it and changed his tempo, making my breast shift as a result.
God, he was shameless in his enjoyment of my body. It did wonders for my ego.
Letting out a growl, he dropped his head and seized my nipple with his teeth and continued to nibble and suck while fucking me. I bent my bottom leg, giving him even more access. He moaned loudly, bursting inside me before flopping down next to me.
I rolled my head to look at him as he caught his breath. In the process, my hair splayed out on the pillow.
“Ah.” His chest rose and fell, rippling his muscles as he recovered, assessing my hair. “Looks like we both got what we wanted.”