Chapter Ten
Shea and I mated several more times, eventually keeping what she fondly called a cum rag next to the bed.
“Please tell me there’s a laundromat in town,” she said, staring at me tossing it on the bedside table after tenderly wiping her clean.
“I think so,” I lied, having no clue. As a shapeshifter, laundry was a foreign concept to me. “Why?”
“Um, we’re kinda fucking in my aunt and uncle’s bed.”
By her tone, I could tell something was obvious to her but not me.
“Would they not support you enjoying yourself?”
She snorted and jabbed me in the ribs. “It’s just, you know, kinda gross to get all your juices”— she said the word in a silly tone—“in someone’s bed. I feel bad.”
Ah, I see. Humans were shy with sexual fluids. They really shouldn’t be. They were the result of them.
“Speaking of,” she went on. “I wanted to talk to you about something else I’m uncomfortable with when it comes to sex.”
“What is that?” I reclined on my side, facing her, resting my head on my fist.
“Anything to do with my butt.” She brushed the back of her knuckles down my arm.
“Oh.” I flopped on my back to mirror her and stared up at the wooden beams of the pitched ceiling in outrage. “But we both love your ass. What are you talking about, Shea? How can I resist it? It jiggles so nicely when I pound into—”
She covered my mouth with a finger, stifling a giggle. “I mean, my . . . back door. I consider it an exit only.”
I shot her a glance.
“Not that there’s anything wrong with people who—”
“Ah!” I smacked my lips in understanding. “You did not like it when I touched your back hole with my thumb earlier.”
“Right.”
“I am sorry. I will not do it again.”
“Thank you.”
“In my defense, it was taunting me, just puckering with each thrust—”
“Baby!” She covered my mouth again. “It’s not like the Eye of Sauron, okay? You can look away.”
Not getting that reference either, I moved on. “Is there anything else you do not like? I would hate to make you uncomfortable again.”
“Um, I guess anything to do with feet. You?”
I paused in consideration. “I guess leave my Eye of Sauron alone as well.”
She broke into a fit of laughter, smacking me in the chest.
We cuddled, cleaned up, and went for a walk outside, borrowing her aunt and uncle’s snowshoes since the snow was collecting. Shea kept gathering globs of it in her mittened hands in pure wonder. It made me stop and stare at her bright reverence.
She was so kind and smart. And easy to talk to and enjoy silence with. She was curious about the world, asking me lots of questions I couldn’t wait to answer. I’d spent centuries up here with hardly anyone to talk about it with. I gladly identified some of my favorite birds, and from a far-off distance, I pointed to a cave where a den of bears hibernated.
We gathered some more pine needles and a stout piece of wood to make a Yule log to burn on the fire. Once I saw how pink her nose was, I ushered her back inside the cabin and warmed her up with fire and kisses.
One dinner and two cups of mead later, the honeyed liquid sloshed in Shea’s glass as she laughed next to the cracking fire. We had dragged pillows and blankets down to make a nest by the flames and our Yule tree.
“Sing it to me again,” I urged.
“No! You’ll make fun of me.” She snorted.
I loved seeing her drunk.
She let out a gasp and looked at me wide-eyed. “Let’s play truth or dare!”
“Sure. Do I just pick between the two options?” I was getting good at guessing her little human details and references.
“Yes.” She hiccupped. “Truth or dare!”
I stole a quick kiss. “Dare.”
“Mmm, I want you to get buck naked and go put imprints of your cute ass in the snow bluffs outside the cabin.”
I stood up, making quick work of unbuckling my belt. “Is that all?”
She snorted again and covered her mouth. “Yes!”
“Can the boots stay on?” I teased. That got her rolling with laughter as I stripped naked and put on my boots and a knit hat. She continued to cackle as I strolled outside, her little face peeking out the window as I expertly squatted over the bluffs.
“You get ball imprints included for free!” I shouted before standing, examining my work.
A thud jerked my attention back to Shea. The silly little thing had banged her head on the window again. I rushed inside, only to find her rolling on the couch in a giggle fit, trying to keep her mead from spilling.
“I can’t believe you did that!” she squealed, wiping tears from her face. “Ohmygawsh, what if that crazy ass deer saw you and rammed you in the ass with one of his antlers?” She flopped to her other side in a titter.
I took the glass from her, downing it myself and filling it back up with water. “Here, drink this.”
She took a sip, trying to collect herself while I got dressed. “I guess it’s my turn. I pick truth.”
“Are you sure? Your tits would look great in the snow.”
She winced at the thought. “I’m positive. I pick truth.”
“What is it you want most in life?” I asked, settling back down on the rug in front of the fire with her.
“A family of my own.” Her hand flew to her mouth. “Oops.”
“Why oops? That is beautiful. Tell me more.”
She crossed her legs in a position she’d explained to me earlier was called crisscross applesauce, which was just so nonsensically adorable.
“I just really want to be a mom. I love kids.” Her face pulled in a drunkenly serene smile. “I love babies. I want lots of them. They’re so squishy and cute. And I really want a nice man who loves me and will help me raise all the babies I want.”
“That makes sense.”
Both of her small hands cupped her glass. “Have you seen Harry Potter ?”
“No.”
“Oh.” Her shoulders slumped.
“But tell me more.”
“There’s this big family in that movie. They’re called the Weasleys. They’re just really humble. They have this house that’s filled with chaos and cozy stuff. I admire it. They call it the burrow. I want my own version of it.”
“Because it is filled with love?”
“Exactly. I just want love. My parents—” She swallowed the last of her water with a hard gulp. “They weren’t really nice to me growing up. The house didn’t feel cozy. Everything was fancy. Like, what mother puts white carpet in a house with kids? My brother, Fallon, and I had to be so careful. We couldn’t make a mess. His therapist thinks that’s where he got anxiety.”
“That makes sense. Life is messy. Especially if you are a little human.”
“Right.” She sat her glass down on the wooden floor.
“And your father?”
“He worked a lot and was always miserable. I mean, I guess I’d be, too, if I had to stare down people’s throats all day.”
Without warning, she crawled to me and laid her head in my lap, gazing up at me. I loved it. It gave me easy access to play with her hair.
“He was so mad when I went into library science. He wanted me to be a dentist or hygienist. Something practical with a good paycheck.”
“I do not understand. Why did you pick the library path? Why did you not just go straight to being a mother?”
“I wanted to be independent first. You know, always have something to fall back on.” She let out a dry laugh. “Listen, unless it’s one-on-one conversations, I’m super shy. I hate bars and clubs. I might as well be invisible to men. It’s not like I had hordes of them knocking on my door to wife me up.”
My mind halted. I didn’t know what to dissect first.
“What do you mean? Any man would be so lucky to have your soft body to warm his bed. The idea alone makes my cock hard. And aside from that, you are nice to talk to. I have learned so much from you, and you are funny. I feel if given the opportunity, I could talk to you for an entire lifetime and still enjoy it.”
“I’m glad you think so.” She feathered her fingers over the planes of my cheekbones and forehead. “I feel the same way. You’re so damn interesting.” She returned her attention to the fire. “Sometimes I worry I won’t even be able to have babies. I mean, even before I got my IUD, I’d have super long and heavy periods. It’s awful. I worry that means something is wrong with me.”
“What is an I-U-D?” I sounded out each letter.
“Birth control.” She lifted her head to look at me once more. “It’s a little piece of copper up inside me that keeps me from getting pregnant.” She flashed me a bashful smile and tucked her head back into my lap.
Surely that wouldn’t work for long.
I combed through her silken tresses with my fingers pensively. “There is nothing wrong with you. You are so precious, Shea. Please promise me when you get home, you will never doubt your worthiness. Can you do that for me?”
She snuggled her face into my thigh with a sleepy grunt. “I can try.”
The day after getting Shea drunk, I gave her some space, pretending to work. Unable to keep myself away for much longer, I showed up a few hours after sunset. She answered the door with the fur blanket I’d gifted her wrapped around her curves. When I crossed the threshold, she let out a musical laugh and opened the blanket, revealing her heavy breasts and the fuzzy swath of Venus hair peeking out just below the rounded line of her tummy, tempting me.
I kicked off my boots and shucked off my coat with a growl and began chasing her around the small space. Which was quite easy because it took no more than 8 paces with my long legs. Her giggle fluttered from one corner of the home to another until I snatched the blanket from her and pounced, pinning her between me and the bed.
“Gotcha!”
She wiggled underneath me, all soft and ready.
My teeth scorched the delicate web of flesh where her neck sloped to her shoulder, inciting a hiss. “Dianus!”
“Yes, pretty woman?”
She arched into my love bites. “Don’t stop. It feels so good.” Her hands busily pulled off my wool sweater. I helped her push all the fabric off my frame, leaving me in boxer briefs. I would give modern men credit there. Their newfangled undergarments cradled nuts excellently.
“You want my mark on you?” I asked, returning my ministrations to her neck, loving the warm throb of her pulse.
“I want everything of yours on me.” She hugged me even closer, her breasts and belly smooshing against me.
“You feel so good, Shea. What else of mine do you want, besides these markings?” I feathered a kiss on a bite mark with my question.
“I want your lips on mine.”
With her request, I kissed across one shoulder, then returned to her lips. Tonight, her mouth tasted like plums and cinnamon tea. It was almost as tasty as her cunt.
“I want your hands all over me. Inside me.”
“Mm-hmm,” I said, kneeling over her to sweep my hands over her curves.
“I want your tongue on me. Between my legs.”
“What else?”
She went on, barely a whisper. “And I want, you know . . . I want it inside me.”
“Tell me, lovely. Now is not the time to be shy.”
This was my absolute favorite part.
“I want your . . .” She chose her word carefully. “. . . seed. I want your seed inside me.”
“That I can do.”
I spread her legs wider, holding a calf on either side of where I knelt in between her legs as she lay on the bed. The exposure of her center caused a shiver to shake her form. She was cold, my Shea. I couldn’t feast on her if it meant making her this chilly.
With a huff, I covered her with the furs I’d just torn off moments prior, tucking them around her body. Her soft eyes followed me as I dodged to the fire to put more wood on the flames, stoking it higher. The pops of the wood eased my mind as I returned to her, tugging more quilts and blankets onto the bed. It was a bitterly cold evening, with snow blanketing the entire forest.
“Just hold me for a moment,” she whispered. “It won’t be as cold.” Even with her fight to remain unaffected, I could see her trembling slightly. She didn’t have to put on a brave face for me. I threw my energy into the wood, willing it to burn slow and hot.
Resolutely, I stripped off my underwear and crawled under the blankets with her, rolling fabric between her and the cabin wall before pulling her to my chest. Tonight would just have to be embracing. Or cuddles, as Shea would put it.
I wanted her beyond her body. I wanted her soul, her mind, her path entwined with mine in every way possible. It would take more than one fuckless night to turn me away. Having her in my arms was pleasure enough.
I twirled her hair and began singing her the lullaby I’d heard handfuls of my devotees sing to their young ones.
When I finished, Shea kissed my chest. “What song is that? It was so lovely.”
“An old lullaby.”
She didn’t need to know it was from before Christianity had swept over Europe. She just needed to know I loved her. I watched the shadows dance on the ceiling from where the flames cast their light, realizing that truth. I wasn’t sure when it had happened. I thought it was sometime between exploring nature yesterday and this very moment. In that same breath, I realized I’d do anything and everything to keep this woman safe.
A part of me felt guilty for keeping the truth from her. I didn’t know how to broach the topic now. I had committed, so I just had to stay the course. She’d get some good sex from me and return a little dazed and confused, but unscathed. And I, well, I’d have to watch her leave.
The idea alone put a sick pit in my stomach. I kissed the top of her head as Shea’s breathing deepened, her cheek eventually flushing a vivid pink where it pressed into my pec. I turned her over slowly and tucked her plump bottom against my groin. Unable to help myself, my hand reached around her, holding her belly, her steady breaths moving the softness against my palm in a rhythmic proof of her peace.
I didn’t sleep, really. That was a human thing I had no need of. But with her in my arms, staring off into nothingness was easy. In a trance, I studied her, picking up on the energetic blueprints of her life. As a natural healer, I could sense where she had pain. Her right knee was bothering her from the hike yesterday, and she had a stitch of pain between her shoulders from being too stressed and perhaps the weight of her glorious breasts. I sent healing energy to both locations, urging the tissues to be less inflamed for her comfort.
She had slight loss of hearing in her right ear. I’d noticed it before she’d even told me about an incident she’d had as a child where she’d landed in a pool at her swimming lessons and the water had clapped her ear in a painful way. I didn’t feel the need to heal that for her. It was part of her story and what made her perfectly imperfect.
I also had no desire to heal the long lines that marked her skin and displayed how it had stretched as she’d evolved into womanhood. I loved those lines. Each one displayed she was expansive and able to invite more into her life. The stretch marks were varied shades, some marbled in white, others a hint of pink, a couple on her thighs and around her belly button purple, like the lupine flowers in my glens at early summer. All were proof of my Shea being part of nature, growing, evolving, ever perfect and pure.
Less perfect and pure was the foreign object wedged in my lover’s womb. She called it an IUD. It prevented babies. This made sense to me. Humans were not great birthers. It was very risky and required great resources to have a baby, so I understood why some people wouldn’t want that challenge or required perfect timing for such an event. Women used to track the moon and drink certain teas to remain a maiden. Now, they had chemicals and contraptions.
With my senses, I could make out the shape of the piece of copper impacted in my lover’s cervix. To stave off a laugh, I grinned into her hair before kissing her pretty head. What a smart little witch.
My affection caused Shea to stir in her sleep.
“Dianus?” She groggily reached to pat my hand where it held the swell of her abdomen.
“Yes, love?”
“Will you spend the night?”
I kissed her hair once more. “There is nowhere else I would rather be.”
And from there, my maiden wiggled her butt against my groin and fell back to sleep.