Chapter 16 #3
He flicked a cautious look at Miles, and Miles gestured for him to keep going.
“You’ve caused quite a stir,” Ray added after a beat. “Don’t reckon you’ll be trusted with a ladder again for a good long while.”
Miles chuckled quietly. If he knew his brother, Max would be on a ladder as soon as his leg healed up. Possibly even before.
Minutes passed, but nothing changed. Miles had almost told Ray to give up, but his raspy murmurs were soothing, melodic, far better than charged silence.
“Ray.” The choked whisper scraped through the air, startling Miles. His focus whipped to his brother, whose eyes were open and fixed on Ray. “What…what’s—” Max tried to push himself up, a sharp breath breaking from him. Ray quickly steadied him with both hands.
“Easy,” he whispered in a far gentler tone than Miles thought him capable of. “Don’t move. You have some broken bones.”
Max let out a fractured sound, his head tipping weakly against the pillow. He didn’t seem to register Miles’s presence at all. Right as Miles opened his mouth to get his attention, Max tried lifting his trembling hand toward Ray’s cheek and sighed, “Baby.”
Two things happened in rapid succession—panicked guilt spread across Ray’s face as he glanced at Miles, and the cogs started turning in Miles’s brain, like a rusty mechanism that required repeated prodding before it finally revved up.
Now it all made sense—Ray’s barely contained despair, his insistence on staying at the hospital, the tears in his eyes.
His brother and Ray were in love with each other.
While Miles was processing this development, Max kept talking, his speech a little slurred. “Don’t cry. Ray. Love. Just…tired.” The last words were followed by a soft sigh before Max’s eyes slowly shut, and he was asleep once again.
Leaving Miles and Ray in a very awkward situation.
Ray’s hand was still in Max’s, but his wide eyes were trained on Miles. He opened his mouth, then closed it without a word. Miles tried to smile, going for a friendly, reassuring grin, but it probably came off as a grimace—not because he disapproved, but because his face had forgotten how to move.
“So…”
“Well…”
They spoke at the same time, clamming up and gesturing for the other to continue. Seconds passed in silence, and Miles wondered if Ray would ever blink.
“I should go call my mom,” Miles finally said, patting the phone in his pocket.
It was dead, but he could always go back to the rental and find his charger.
The walk might do him good. At the very least, it would give him a chance to organize his thoughts, which were all over the fucking place.
Clearly, Miles had a lot more in common with his brother than either of them realized.
“Miles…” Ray straightened to full height and shifted his weight. “Can we talk?”
Miles put his palms up in surrender. “To tell her that Max woke up and talked! That’s it, I swear. This—” He gestured between Ray and Max. “—is obviously a secret. I won’t say anything. To anyone. Except for Zach.”
“Zach?” Ray’s hesitation was clear in his furrowed brow and tightly pursed lips. “Miles, this is serious. You know what’d happen if word got out. You might not approve, but he’s still your blood, and the farm’s his life.”
“What the fuck?” Miles reared back. The implication that he had a problem with two consenting adults being in love stung. “I’m not homophobic.”
“Of course.” Ray’s placating tone didn’t disguise his disbelief. “I ain’t implying—”
“I’m really not!”
How could anyone think that about him? His best friend was gay. And as of last night, Miles could say with complete certainty that whatever he himself was, it wasn’t straight.
“Look, I get it,” Ray said patiently. “Folks are shaped by how they’re raised. It’s not your—”
“Fucking hell, man, you’re not listening to me. I. Am. Not. Homophobic.” Miles seethed, insulted by Ray’s refusal to believe him. “You know how I know? Because I had Zach’s dick in my mouth last night, and I fucking loved it. Okay?”
Silence rang between them. Ray’s expression didn’t change, though one eyebrow slowly crept up. “What?”
Oh no.
What did he just do?
“Shit,” Miles swore. “I shouldn’t have said that. His family doesn’t know. Please don’t out him. Or me. Not that you would, but…shit.”
“Don’t worry about that.” Ray broke into an amused smile. “I know how to keep a secret.”
“I guess you do,” Miles agreed. “Anyway… You and Max?”
Ray nodded. “Coming on three years.”
“I had no idea.”
“No one does. Max is scared to death of losing the farm if his old man finds out.”
There was something rueful in Ray’s voice. It was clear that the decision to hide had come from Max, and Ray wasn’t happy about it, but Miles wouldn’t pry. Despite knowing Ray’s deepest secret, they weren’t friends.
Ray didn’t owe him any explanations.
“You and Zach?” Ray asked.
Miles waved his hand in the air. “It’s new. I’m not even sure what it is. We hooked up for the first time last night, and I’m not sure he’d want anything more.”
“But you do.” It wasn’t a question.
Miles answered anyway.
“I do.”