Chapter 17 #2
“I’ll call you, but as long as Eddie’s here, I should be okay.” Stan leaves, and I turn to my cousin. “Man, you should’ve seen me yesterday. I didn’t think I was going to survive this.”
Edward is unimpressed. “Your mother said you were struggling. Although, I don’t see any signs of desperation. You have a skilled sitter, and he said she’s an easy child.”
“Wait til she craps her pants.”
“Your manny said she’d already done that today.” Edward stands in front of me, holding his hands in Cricket’s direction.
“Thank God. I tell ya, she looks really cute and sweet, but there is nothing sweet about her poop.”
Christine studies Edward’s hands, then she looks up at him with big blue eyes. He continues waiting, and after a beat she smiles, slapping her palm against his.
“She’s very smart.” He lifts his chin. “She’s a Bradford.”
“I don’t think that proves anything.” I shift her higher on my side wondering how Stan made it look so easy to hold her that way.
I can’t get her to sit on my hip at all, so I just slide her around to my forearm.
She watches Edward moving around the kitchen preparing her baby cereal, and she starts chanting little words.
I do think one of them sounds like Fu, but that could be anything, right?
It’s not like she learned the F-word that fast.
“I heard there was some uncertainty about her paternity.” He stirs the bowl of baby cereal, then nods for me to put her in the high chair. “What will you do if the lawyers come back and say she’s not yours?”
She’s secure in her chair, and I collapse into a nearby seat. “I don’t know, Ed. I guess I should give her to her real dad, but the more time passes, the more I kind of like having her here.”
“So stop the test.” He shrugs. “Tell them you’re convinced, and that’ll be the end of it.”
“Is that fair to her?” I think about what Stacia said about her mother wanting me to be the dad.
From what I’ve heard, it sounds like Bonnie was being a bit of a free spirit around the time she got pregnant. I feel less like an asshole for not remembering her, especially now that I know she was using a nickname.
“A part of me still wants to know the truth,” I confess quietly.
Edward’s phone makes jangling noises, and he takes it from his pocket, quickly swiping a finger across the screen. It lights up with a FaceTime call, and I see all the LA cousins at once on the phone.
“Oh, yay, you’re together!” my cousin Haddy calls out.
With Maverick and Dove in rural north Louisiana, it’s just Haddy and Gavin, Gina and Owen in Los Angeles now—with their two little girls and one on the way.
“Hi, guys,” I call, lifting Cricket’s little hand to wave. “Cricket says Hi.”
“Oh my goodness, Knoxey! She’s so beautiful!” Gina swoons through the camera, and I can tell she’s showing now.
“I think she’s pretty great.” I tilt my head to the side, smiling.
“She looks just like you,” my cousin continues gushing.
“She definitely has those big blue eyes all right,” Haddy says, holding up her little girl, who is about the same age as Cricket. “She looks just like Baby Lucy!”
Lucy holds a rubber giraffe to her mouth and every time she chews on it, it squeaks. I feel like a pro, because I could say she must be teething now, just like Cricket.
I don’t have a chance, because Edward cuts in. “Cricket has a slightly different eye shape than Lucy, but she would fit in at a family gathering.”
My nose wrinkles, and I glance over at Edward. “You’re saying she doesn’t look like her daddy?”
“I’m saying she doesn’t look like her cousin,” he says.
“I remember you as a baby, Knoxey, and I think she looks just like you,” Gina argues.
I don’t point out that Gina is only two years older than I am, and Edward was in high school when all of us were born.
I choose to go with Gina’s pronouncement that Cricket looks like me until I get a reason not to think she does.
“Watch this,” I say proudly, lifting her out of her chair and doing the little side-to-side twist that makes her squeal.
Everybody claps and laughs and gushes at how adorable she is, and I’m feeling pretty proud of myself. I can make her smile and laugh.
“Hi, Uncle Knoxey!” Owen’s daughter Maddie waves in front of the camera. “Baby Cricket is so cute and funny. I really like her name! I can’t wait to play with her next month!”
“Oh, wow…” My shoulders tense. “I’m sorry, Mads, I don’t know when I’ll be in LA again.”
“We’re coming to you!” Haddy says. “Aunt Allie told us when you were having your bye week, so we planned a special trip to Newhope. It’ll just be Gina and the girls and me, but it’s so close to Maddie’s fall break, we’re able to make it work.”
“Oh… okay, then!” I smile, and I wonder how Melody might feel about joining me for a visit to Newhope. “I’ll be glad to see everybody, too.”
“Bring that Quarterback Princess with you,” Gina says. “I’d like to meet her… and have a nice, long conversation with her.”
Her feisty tone makes me laugh, not to mention she freakin read my mind. “You planning to kick some butt for me, Geeg?”
“You know I will. Nobody messes with my baby cousin.”
“Uncle Knox isn’t a baby!” Maddie cries, falling back and laughing.
“I tell you, Mads,” I say. “Once you’re the baby, you’re always the baby.”
I don’t bother pointing out Sage is actually younger than I am, and therefore the true baby of the family, not counting the grandkids.
I return Cricket to her high chair, but her blue eyes are wide as she watches us curiously. Edward resumes feeding her, and she makes little baby noises between the bites of the cereal.
“We’d better let you guys have dinner.” Haddy stands, lifting the iPad and holding it so they can all wave. “We just wanted to check in and send you all our love.”
Again, my heart swells, and I feel a little guilty for all the bad thoughts I was having about them 48 hours ago.
To be fair, the California cousins couldn’t have come to my rescue anyway. They’re two thousand miles away.
“We love you guys.” I lift Cricket’s little hand, waving to them all.
The screen goes dark, and I turn, watching as Edward spoons the final bite into her mouth. He’s really good about scraping the overflow off her lips with the spoon. I’m going to need a crash course in all this before he leaves me.
“Not all babies look like their fathers when they’re born,” he notes. “It doesn’t mean she’s not your biological child. Not that it matters to you.”
“Right.” I nod, thinking about what I told him, the conundrum. “I’m just going to run change if you’re okay here?”
“We’re perfectly fine.” He washes the baby cereal bowl then walks over to take out a jar of pureed carrots. “One last serving of beta carotene.”
“Just a warning.” I hold out my hand as I walk to my bedroom. “She spit sweet potatoes all over me last night.”
Edward puts his elbow on the table, lowering his shoulders and looking at Cricket in the eyes. “Christine, I do not want you to spit this on me. Understood?”
Again, he waits, and I can’t tell if she’s really processing what he says or if she’s just fascinated by the way he speaks to her.
“Thank you.” He nods as if she answered him. “We’ll start slow.”
I can’t help it. I wait, watching to see how this is going to play out. Edward puts a small amount of the bright orange goo on the tip of the rubber spoon. He approaches her with it slowly, and her big blue eyes watch him intently.
Her lips part, and he slips it into her mouth. I wait…
Her little eyes close tightly, and she shakes her head, doing a little shoulder shimmy. But she doesn’t spit it out. In fact she opens her eyes and her mouth again.
“Seriously, Crick? That’s it?” I groan, shaking my head as I walk to my room. “She only shits and spits on me.”
He’s almost finished with the small jar of food when I return to the kitchen, and not a speck of orange has been blasted anywhere.
“I don’t know why I’m surprised,” I add. “Little girls always love you.”
Edward’s brow furrows, and he looks from her to me. “That sounds strange.”
“It’s true, though.”
“Little girls, like people in general, only want to be heard. And for you to hear them, you have to listen.”
“You’ve always been a good listener.”
Cricket takes her last bite, and he stands, going to the sink for a washcloth. As he returns, she starts with her “Ba!” and patting her hand.
“She says that a lot,” he notes. “What is Ba?”
“I have no idea. I thought it was bottle, but she says it all the time.”
My cousin wipes her face gently, and I can see the wheels turning in his head. Straightening, he lifts his chin, and I recognize that look. He’s about to tell me he speaks baby in addition to all his other talents.
“You said her mother’s name was Bonnie?” His logical eyes meet mine, and it’s like a punch in the gut.
“Damn, Edward.” I sit down heavily, reaching out to hold her little hand. “Has she been asking for her mom this whole time?”
She’s watching me with those big blue eyes, and I feel like a shit. I feel like I’ve let her down already, and we’re only just getting started.
I don’t know what to do. I lift her by her tiny torso onto my chest, and she smiles, patting me again and saying, “Ba!”
“I’m sorry, Crick.” My voice is gentle. “Your mom’s gone away.” I put my hand on her back, leaning in to kiss her little forehead.
Edward stands beside us, putting his hand on her back as well. His forehead lines, and it’s the closest I’ve seen him get to a display of emotion.
“It was simply a guess.” His voice is gentle as well. “Perhaps she is saying bottle. It’s been the source of all her meals for a while.”
“No, I think you’re right. She’s just too little to understand.” I slide my hand over the back of her head, and I’m hit with a surge of protectiveness even stronger than what I felt when I left her this morning.
“I’m going to call that lawyer. I don’t give a shit about paternity tests. She’s staying with us.” I kiss her little head again. “You’re a Bradford now, baby.”