Story of My Life (Story Lake #1)
Hazel Hart was a successful romance novelist until a breakup drives her straight into writer’s block. Having failed (and failed some more) to deliver her new manuscript, she’s hiding from the world behind a wall of old takeout containers until her publisher lays down the law. If she misses her next deadline it’s The...
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3. Vacate the premises
3
VACATE THE PREMISES
HAZEL
Zoey’s phone rang incessantly, but since she couldn’t find it—again—we focused on packing up. The signing was officially over, though there were still three or four authors with long lines of eager readers.
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- 1. Vase wine and an ass-kicking 22:30
- 2. Great ass pants 18:26
- 3. Vacate the premises 19:38
- 4. Sleeping Bougie leaves town 23:47
- 5. Knight in shining gas station 18:30
- 6. You hit a bald eagle 14:47
- 7. A little fraud between friends 24:02
- 8. Not a professional murderer 18:36
- 9. The piano bench leg defense 14:18
- 10. Captain Pouty Man Bear Hot Dog Fingers 19:40
- 11. Breadsticks and accusations 22:44
- 12. A pancake to the face 17:32
- 13. The fur demon 20:42
- 14. Punchable smirks 13:54
- 15. Two women walk into a funeral home 22:52
- 16. No unsanctioned potato throwing 15:33
- 17. All kinds of propositions 21:37
- 18. Three hot guys and me with pillow face 18:32
- 19. Prepare to be dated 12:20
- 20. Two-wheeled menace 21:37
- 21. My dinghy’s bigger than yours 26:05
- 22. Fine dining fuckaround 14:24
- 23. Grand theft boat 14:51
- 24. An accidental swim 28:31
- 25. Face and ass first 25:38
- 26. A rude awakening 13:12
- 27. A legally binding sex pact 22:04
- 28. Roiling lust swamp 15:17
- 29. The official Asshole Rating Scale 12:48
- 30. Escalation 15:07
- 31. A poop problem 19:21
- 32. Good is a four-letter word 25:27
- 33. The brother 28:05
- 34. The fight（s） 17:06
- 35. Nonconsensual dazzling 22:21
- 36. Fart Blaster 2000 15:36
- 37. Let sleeping pigs lie 26:36
- 38. Plowy McFuck You 18:57
- 39. Penis appreciation 15:50
- 40. That’s a lot of pigs 21:46
- 41. What are old folks into? 17:34
- 42. The Great Freezer Breaker Flip and Petting Zoo Escape 28:20
- 43. Fancy pants 26:11
- 44. We could have been fucked-up together 17:26
- 45. Lengthy wallow over 16:57
- 46. Dropping the hammer 23:37
- 47. Sibling confessions 05:45
- 48. Weekend at Bernied 12:44
- 49. You smell like a fish 11:28
- 50. Happily ever after starts here 24:37
- Epilogue 04:37