Story of My Life (Story Lake #1)
Hazel Hart was a successful romance novelist until a breakup drives her straight into writer’s block. Having failed (and failed some more) to deliver her new manuscript, she’s hiding from the world behind a wall of old takeout containers until her publisher lays down the law. If she misses her next deadline it’s The...
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8. Not a professional murderer
8
NOT A PROFESSIONAL MURDERER
CAMPBELL
You’re tellin’ me not only did she buy real estate, but she also gets to sit on the council for the next two years?” I repeated, running through the list of reasons why punching a seventeen-year-old kid who had the enthusiasm of a puppy was a bad idea.
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- 1. Vase wine and an ass-kicking 22:30
- 2. Great ass pants 18:26
- 3. Vacate the premises 19:38
- 4. Sleeping Bougie leaves town 23:47
- 5. Knight in shining gas station 18:30
- 6. You hit a bald eagle 14:47
- 7. A little fraud between friends 24:02
- 8. Not a professional murderer 18:36
- 9. The piano bench leg defense 14:18
- 10. Captain Pouty Man Bear Hot Dog Fingers 19:40
- 11. Breadsticks and accusations 22:44
- 12. A pancake to the face 17:32
- 13. The fur demon 20:42
- 14. Punchable smirks 13:54
- 15. Two women walk into a funeral home 22:52
- 16. No unsanctioned potato throwing 15:33
- 17. All kinds of propositions 21:37
- 18. Three hot guys and me with pillow face 18:32
- 19. Prepare to be dated 12:20
- 20. Two-wheeled menace 21:37
- 21. My dinghy’s bigger than yours 26:05
- 22. Fine dining fuckaround 14:24
- 23. Grand theft boat 14:51
- 24. An accidental swim 28:31
- 25. Face and ass first 25:38
- 26. A rude awakening 13:12
- 27. A legally binding sex pact 22:04
- 28. Roiling lust swamp 15:17
- 29. The official Asshole Rating Scale 12:48
- 30. Escalation 15:07
- 31. A poop problem 19:21
- 32. Good is a four-letter word 25:27
- 33. The brother 28:05
- 34. The fight（s） 17:06
- 35. Nonconsensual dazzling 22:21
- 36. Fart Blaster 2000 15:36
- 37. Let sleeping pigs lie 26:36
- 38. Plowy McFuck You 18:57
- 39. Penis appreciation 15:50
- 40. That’s a lot of pigs 21:46
- 41. What are old folks into? 17:34
- 42. The Great Freezer Breaker Flip and Petting Zoo Escape 28:20
- 43. Fancy pants 26:11
- 44. We could have been fucked-up together 17:26
- 45. Lengthy wallow over 16:57
- 46. Dropping the hammer 23:37
- 47. Sibling confessions 05:45
- 48. Weekend at Bernied 12:44
- 49. You smell like a fish 11:28
- 50. Happily ever after starts here 24:37
- Epilogue 04:37