Chapter 22
Tobias
“I think I’m gonna puke,” I mutter, scrubbing my face with my hands.
“You’re going to be fine.” Rain grins, all too excited for what's about to happen.
“This is gonna be awesome.” Bishop smirks, not seeming to care at all.
“You both do know I can’t sing, right?” I narrow my eyes, looking between the two of them.
“You do know you can, right?” Bishop snorts. “Just because you don’t like to sing in front of people doesn’t mean you can’t. Trust me, dude, I’ve heard you sing, and it’s not bad.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve never sung in front of a whole room full of people.” I wave my hand towards the entrance to the reception hall.
You might be wondering what the hell we’re talking about.
After Christmas, I went to Rain and talked about how Lilly voiced her feelings about keeping our relationship a secret from our parents and how Lilly doesn’t think they’re going to react as badly as I’ve made it up in my mind.
In Rain like fashion, she confirmed what Lilly said. I asked her if they already knew, and she didn’t answer. No help at all on that part.
She did, however, tell me about how back in college, when they all fucked up with Ellie and needed to get back into her good graces, Chase did this whole performance and sang one of Ellie’s favorite songs from one of her favorite movies. She said I should consider doing the same thing.
At first, I thought she was crazy. It’s something I’d never do. It’s not me.
But the more I thought about it, the more appealing it became. And after binging it up to Bishop and getting his offer to help, the less insane it sounded. Before I knew it, I had picked a song, one that reminds me so much of her, and I find myself listening to it all the time.
It’s not going to be grand; there are no crazy dance moves, and I sure as hell am not going to be jumping on top of a table.
It is, however, time for our loved ones to know.
I can’t keep living in fear. If I try to protect Lilly like I have been, I’ll be doing the very thing I’ve been trying to prevent, hurting her. Hell, I have been for years now.
I’ve taken the time to get used to the idea of sharing her with Bishop. It’s no longer an issue. I love them both. I want them to be happy.
And Lilly can never really be truly happy with me if we’re stuck living in the shadows.
The first step is telling the people closest to us and praying they’ll understand.
To me, this was never a choice. Lilly has always been it for me. From the moment I laid eyes on her at the playground when we were just tiny little kids, I knew this girl was something special, and I’d go to the ends of the earth to stay by her side.
The wedding reception is in full swing now. They’ve already done all the important dances, cut the cake, and made the speeches. One done by my stunning girlfriend to her favorite uncles.
She looks gorgeous tonight in a pale pink dress, hair down in long loose waves. She was a member of the wedding party as one of Blake’s grooms-maids? Anyways, Ellie, Lexi, Vail, and Tabitha were on Cooper's side, and on Blake’s, there was Rain, Lilly, Blake’s little sister, and one of his best friends, Bailey.
Lilly has been pretty busy with the wedding party, so I haven’t really had a chance to be alone with her yet.
Maybe it’s a good thing. I’d probably have psyched myself out and went running for the hills.
“Alright. Cooper just texted me. He said we’re good to go.”
“Fuck.” My heart starts racing, and I really feel like I’m about to pass out.
“You ready?”
“No.” I shake my head and take a deep breath in. “But let’s do this anyway.”
I want the world to know that I’m in love with the most amazing woman. Someone who’s kind and fair. Someone who fights my battles with me, not for me. Someone who’s never given up on me despite there being plenty of times she should have.
That's not Lilly. She’s pure, too good for the likes of me.
But she’s mine, and I’d walk through the pits of hell to keep her.
Lillianna
“Now, now, missy.” Cooper chuckles, snatching the glass out of my hand. “No more of this, or your parents are going to kill me.”
“It’s not like they don’t know I drink.” I laugh, rolling my eyes.
“You're not twenty-one. So, therefore, you don’t drink.” He gives me a pointed look before flicking his eyes around. “At least not while they’re around. Now, if you were to sneak off with your friends, that would be another story.”
“Oh, Uncle Cooper. Are you being a bad influence?” I grin.
“Always.” He winks before taking a sip of my drink. “Damn, girl. How much sugar does this thing have?”
“A lot.” I laugh. “I don’t like the taste of alcohol.”
His brows jump. “Then what's the point?” He shakes his head. “Yeah, not arguing about this with you. Anyways, you can get this back after.”
“After what?” My brows furrow.
Today has been amazing. Watching my uncle with the man of his dreams made my hopeless romantic heart burst.The ceremony was beautiful, the reception hall is stunning, and the song choices are on point.
I’ve been pretty busy with wedding party duties and helping make sure everything is running smoothly; I’ve hardly had a chance to really sit down or even enjoy the night. But I don’t mind. I wanted to make sure the grooms had no worries and were able to enjoy their day.
Now that all the big things are out of the way, the rest of the night should be just dancing and having fun.
Looking around, I frown when I don’t see Toby or Bishop. Did they leave? I know I haven’t really had a chance to talk to them much today. I feel bad, but they had each other, so it wasn’t like they were alone.
“Have you seen the guys?” I ask, looking back at Cooper.
“Yeah, about that. That's why I’m confiscating your drink.”
“Wait, what? You're not making any sense.”
Cooper grins, grabs my hand, and then pulls me towards the center of the dance floor. “What are you doing?” I laugh, then notice that no one else is around. Everyone seems to be sitting or off to the side. A wave of nerves hit me. Everyone’s eyes are on me, and I don’t know why. “Cooper, what is going on?”
“Just stand there and wait,” Cooper tells me, then leaves me all on my own.
I look around, biting my lower lip. What the hell is going on?
My eyes find my parents. They’re watching me in confusion, having no idea what's going on either.
The song changes, the melody shifting from a song you’d find at a club to something a little more softer.
It takes a few seconds for me to realize the song is Stargazing by Myles Smith. It’s one of my favorites. And one of Toby’s.
Just as his name pops into my head, I see him step through the doors.
My heart races as I take him in. He’s dressed in a dark grey suit, hair slicked back. I’m used to seeing him like this. The hockey team dresses like this all the time for game days.
But there’s something about the way he looks now, with his eyes locked on mine, that takes my breath away.
He also has a mic in his hand. Why does he have a mic in his hand?
Ringing my hands together, I see him raise it up, and then he does something I never thought I’d see him do. He starts singing.
Slowly, he starts walking towards me, and just like that, I feel the world drift away, leaving only the two of us.
When he sings the part where it says that looking in my eyes, he sees his whole life , a part of me starts to panic. Our parents are watching. Does he know that?
Then I’m hit with another surprise. Bishop steps in behind him, singing the background part.
He gives me a wicked grin, along with a wink, and I’m dumbstruck.
Is this really happening? Are they really singing right now? To me?
My eyes snap back over to Toby, who is now in front of me.
My heart is pounding so damn fast I feel like I might pass out. But I don’t want to. I don’t want to miss a single moment of whatever this is.
He raises his hand up, cupping my cheek, and sings about me taking his heart and asking me not to break it, to love him to his bones.
But what really gets me is the part where the song says something about wasted time and that I was right there all along.
Tears spring to my eyes, and I have to bite my lower lip to keep myself from crying.
Because I know what this is. This is Toby accepting us. Telling not only our parents, but all the people who mean something to us that he loves me. That I mean something to him. Not as his best friend, not as his sibling, but as his everything.
He takes my hand and spins me, making me laugh as he continues to sing. I take every word of the lyrics and feel like this song was written for us, for me.
Pulling me close, he wraps his arm around my waist and sings about promising to hold him close and not let him go.
Tears flow down my cheeks as he presses his forehead to mine, holding me close, dancing as he sings the main chorus.
The amount of love and joy I feel right now can’t be described.
We sway to the music as Bishop dances around us, being his silly self, but as they get to the last line of the song, he steps close, singing alongside Toby. He asks me to take his heart and not to break it. To love him to his bones, just like Toby did.
At this very moment, I know I’ve found my forever. I know that I’ll never have to go a day with a heart that’s broken, searching for someone to put it back together.
I’ll be loved, I’ll be wanted, and I’ll have my forever.
The song stops, and I laugh a happy laugh, still stunned that this really did just happen.
Toby just told our parents that he loves me.
The room breaks into applause, breaking our little bubble.
My eyes dart over to the table our parents are sitting at. They’re watching us with different emotions.
Mom is smiling, tears in her eyes. Yeah, she knew .
Theo has a soft smile on his face, eyes on his son. God, I wonder if Toby can see the pride in his eyes. I’m about to burst into tears all over again.
Brody has a smirk, Jax is grinning.
But Chase? He’s getting an earful from Rain. She whispers something in his ear and he glares at her before slumping in his chair, pouting. But when he sees me, he gives me a smile, letting me know he’s not mad or upset.
Knowing my dad, he’s probably bitching about losing his baby girl to another guy.
“Are you okay?” Toby asks, voice low.
I bring my attention back to him and smile wide. “I’m better than okay. I can’t believe you just did that.” I laugh excitedly.
“Trust me, neither can I. Not going to lie, I’m low-key freaking the fuck out.” He laughs nervously. “But it was worth it.”
Smiling, I bite my lip as I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling myself close to him. “Oh yeah?”
He cups my face, holding me still as he places a kiss to my forehead. “I love you, Lillianna Tatum. You mean more to me than my own life. You're my everything. My heart, my soul, the air that I breathe. And I think it’s about time the world knows that, don’t you think?”
“Yeah,” my voice cracks as I give him a watery smile. “I think so.”
And then he’s kissing me in front of everyone. If anyone wasn’t sure what that song was about, they sure know now.
I know we still need to talk to our parents, but right now, I don’t want to ruin this moment. I’m so happy I feel like I might explode.
“My boy did good, didn’t he?” Bishop wraps his arms around us.
“Yeah, he did.” I snuggle into Toby, letting the warmth of my guys seep into me, the love they have for me pour off them and into me.
Letting my head tip back, I smile up at Bishop, silently asking him to kiss me. I need there to be no doubt that both of these men are mine.
“I love you. Both of you.”
“We love you too, il mio cuore, ” he replies, sealing his words with the kiss I was seeking.
“More than the fucking air that I breathe,” Toby growls before diving forward and kissing me again.
Pure giddiness fills me as the music around us starts up with another song.
People make their way out to the dance floor, and I dance with my men.
After a few more drinks, a bite to eat, and some more dancing, I’m feeling brave myself.
“What are you doing?” Rain asks me, amusement in her eyes as I walk away from the DJ table.
“Just putting in a song request.” I grin as I grab the mic from the stand.
“Oh, I gotta see this,” she laughs, and I wink.
Now, I’m not super good at singing, but my voice won’t make your ears bleed. Trust me, I’ve asked more than once. Hopefully, for this whole room's sake, no one lied to me to save my feelings.
The song that’s playing fades out, and is replaced with the one I requested.
Shower by Becky G starts to play as I find Toby and Bishop in the middle of the dance floor, dancing with Bee and Jonas.
They look over at me just as the lyrics start.
I start to sing, letting the beat and the alcohol take over.
Fuck it. I’m in a good mood. A fan-fucking-tastic mood. And I want these guys to know how I feel about them.
In song form.
Okay, so maybe there are a lot of different songs that could relay the message better, but I really like this song.
Swaying my hips to the song, I make my way over to them.
They smile wide, a little surprised, but god, the way they’re looking at me makes me feel like I’m their world. It’s fucking intoxicating. I wanna get drunk on them—fuck the alcohol.
Slipping in between them, our friends laugh and step away, giving us room.
Leaning back into Toby, I bring my hand up and around his neck, grinding my ass into him as the song describes him lighting me up inside like the fourth of July. I have no shame right now, and I’m having the time of my life.
The song says that he makes me smile when he’s around.
I look at Bishop as the lyrics say that he’s the reason why I smile.
The next part says they make me dance in the mirror and sing in the shower.
Bishop grins, stepping closer as Toby’s hands grip my hips hard, moving me against him. I close my eyes and keep singing my heart out, screaming parts of the song.
Removing myself from Toby, I make sure I’m looking at both of them. I sing about having to have them, and not letting them go.
Their smiles are everything.
I look at Toby and sing how I think about him when I go to bed. Then to Bishop, saying I think about him when I wake up and do it again.
It goes on, and the song’s right: they are my lovers and friends. See, this song fits okay? I’m not that drunk.
The lyrics repeat, and I belt them out. Bee is nearby, dancing along too. I grin over at her, and she winks.
Turning my attention back to the guys, I sing the next part. It says there are no guarantees, but I’d take a chance on us.
I’d always take a chance on them because I know life is better with them, so why not at least try?
If I never did, I wouldn’t have them like I do now.
At the next part, I look at Toby. The lyrics say that when times get rough, there is no giving up.
I need him to know that. I’ll never give up on him. Ever.
There's emotion in his eyes as he mouths I love you . I wink. When the lyrics ‘I don’t care what others say’ come up, I look out at the crowd of people.
Only none of them care. They’re all happy, smiling, and living life. No one is making a big deal about it. No one is giving us a disgusted look.
Everyone at this wedding is here to celebrate a gay marriage where half of the wedding party is in a poly relationship.
No one here judges these kinds of things.
I know it won’t be like this with the outside world, but right now, this is enough.
The rest of the song just repeats, and I let go and start jumping around dancing. Bee joins in, a big smile on her face as she sings along with me.
I might look silly, but no one can take this joy away from me right now.
“So, you too, huh?” Chase asks with a heavy sigh.
The night is winding down, and most of the guests have left, including Cooper and Blake. It’s only my parents, Bee, Jonas, Bishop, Toby, and my mom’s friends Lexi and Val. Auntie Tabby had to take her wife back to the hotel. She was a little tipsy. But hey, she had fun. That’s what matters.
“Don’t act like you’re surprised,” Auntie Val huffs. “I knew these two were endgame since they were kids. Remember the time Toby went up to a boy at the park and kicked him in the balls for calling Lilly pretty,” she snickers. “Ahh, good times.”
“Really?” Lexi sighs. “Sorry about her. Thirteen years later, and she’s still the same Val.”
“Ahh, yeah. Why would I want to change? I’m fucking amazing.” Val rolls her eyes.
Mom laughs. “Well, I’m happy for the both of you.” She takes my hand, giving me a gentle smile and squeeze.
“You are?” I ask.
“Of course. And Val’s kinda right.” Mom laughs. “We’ve all had our suspicions.”
“You did?” Toby asks. “Even you?” He looks at his dad.
“I didn’t want to believe it.” Theo chuckles. “But even when you were kids, Ellie has been preparing me for something more between the two of you. The way you two were together growing up, it was always something more.”
“And you didn’t care?” Toby asks.
“Why would we? You're not blood-related. We’ve never tried to make it seem like you two were siblings. Yes, you call Ellie mom, and that’s what she is to you. But you and Lilly, you were never brother and sister. And because we saw the bond you had, we never wanted to force it.”
“Well, fuck.” Toby slumps back in his chair.
“You look disappointed?” Brody asks, raising a brow.
“No, not disappointed. Okay, yes, but in myself.” He looks at me. “I’ve been worrying for years, and it was all for nothing.”
“I could be an asshole and say I told you so, but I won’t.” He narrows his eyes, and I laugh. I take his hand in mine and kiss the back of it. “No more dwelling on the past, Toby. It’s not going to change anything.”
“I know,” he grumbles. “But still.”
It’s going to take him some time to process this and accept it. Toby is the kind of guy you can say something to until you're blue in the face, but he needs to experience it, to hear and see things for himself to believe it.
Sometimes, it makes life hard. It sure as hell did for Toby. And I hated that for him. But I’m glad he’s seeing it now. It’s all I could hope for.
“You do know just because you’re our son, you don’t get out of the ‘you hurt her and we kick your ass’ speech?” Chase asks.
“Oh, he knows,” Theo says, looking Toby in his eyes. “You hurt my daughter, I’m kicking your ass.”
Toby huffs out a laugh. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“So, we have to wait until he hurts her to kick his ass?” Brody asks. “Shame.”
“Brody!” Mom gasps.
“I’m just joking,” Brody mutters. “Kinda.”
Chase grins and holds his hand up for Brody to high-five. Brody eyes it up with a frown but then sighs before slapping his hand.
“Fuck yeah. You hurt our baby girl, and we’re gonna make you regret it.”
“I’ll help them.” Bishop chimes in.
“Really?” Toby growls.
“What?” Bishop grins.
“Look, I’m not going to hurt her, okay?” Toby sighs heavily and the whole table stares at him. “I’m not going to hurt her again ,” he clarifies.
“We know,” Mom agrees. “And we know you never meant to hurt her in the first place.”
“See!” Rain takes a seat next to my mom. “Told you you were worried for nothing.”
Mom looks to Rain. “You knew?” Mom raises a brow.
Rain pales. “Ahh, maybe?”
“And you didn’t tell us!” Chase gasps. “That's it, Ellie, she’s in the dog house.”
“Listen here, you little shit,” Rain growls, glaring at Chase. “Shut your mouth.”
“You mean like you did when you lied to us about these two.” Chase points at us.
“I’m not listening to this,” Jax sighs as he gets up from his chair. He comes over to me and leans down to kiss the top of my head. “I’m happy for you, Lillypad. I love you.”
“I love you too, Dad.”
Brody does the same before following Jax.
“My men are waiting for a video call,” Val says, wiggling her eyebrows at the table before looking at Lexi. “Take me to the hotel.”
“You’re demanding when you're drunk,” Lexi mutters.
“Only when I’m drunk?”
“Never mind. Always.”
They say their goodbyes, leaving only Mom, Rain, Chase, and Theo.
“Look, I knew. But it wasn’t my place to say anything, okay? They had to tell you in their own time,” Rain explains.
“You just wanted to play cool mom. I bet you were encouraging them to sneak around.” Chase’s eyes widening. “Have you two had sex?”
Toby groans as my cheeks heat. “Dad!” I hiss.
“Well?!”
“That's none of your business,” I mutter, wishing a hole would open up and swallow me whole.
“Oh my god, you did!” Chase jumps to his feet.
“Yeah, it’s time to go,” Theo says, grabbing Chase by the arm.
“I’m going to kick your son's ass, Theo. He touched my baby girl!”
“Sure, sure.” Theo pats his shoulder.
“Sleep with one eye open!” Chase calls back.
“Good thing I don’t live there anymore,” Toby mutters.
“What an eventful night.” Mom smiles, amusement all over her face. She’s used to her crazy partners. But she wouldn’t have it any other way. “I want the two of you to know that I love you both with all my heart. The only thing I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy and healthy. If that’s being together, then I’m happy for you.”
“Thank you, Mom.” My eyes well up with tears. She really is the best mom a girl could ask for.
“Thanks, Mom.” Toby’s voice is soft, his response low.
“You're my son no matter what, okay?” Mom tells him.
“Well, maybe your son-in-law soon.” Rain grins.
“Need another son?” Bishop asks. “I’m way better than this one.” He chuckles.
“Oh, get fucked.” Toby laughs, pushing at Bishop’s shoulder.
Bishop looks at me and grins. “Sounds like a good time.”
“Oh my god,” I groan, my cheeks flaming now as I bury my face in my hands, letting my head drop to the table. “Those are my moms, you know.”
Mom and Rain laugh. “We’re going to head out. The rest of you should, too.”
Lifting my head up, I stand and move over to give them both a hug. “See you back here tomorrow for the clean up.”
“I’m so proud of you, Lilly.” Mom kisses my cheek.
“Thank you.” Ugh, the last thing I want to do is make more of a mess of my makeup. I’ve cried too much tonight. All happy tears, thankfully.
“Well, that went a lot better than I thought it would,” Bee says, standing next to me as we watch my moms go.
“I always knew your parents were cool,” Jonas says.
Bee and Jonas leave next.
“Did that really just happen?” Toby asks, rubbing the back of his head.
“You mean our parents accepting us because they love us and want to support us? Yeah, it did.” I laugh, wrapping my arms around his waist.
“I feel like a fucking fool,” he groans.
“Don’t. You could have told your mind a million times, but you know you needed to hear it for yourself.”
“I know. You're right. I just wish I said something sooner. It would have changed so much.”
“But you didn’t, and you can’t change that. No more thinking about it, okay? We got the best response we could have asked for. The hard part is over. They’re the only opinions that matter.”
“I guess,” he murmurs, placing his chin on the top of my head.
“You two ready to get out of here?” Bishop asks from the doorway.
“Ready?” I ask, looking up at Toby.
“For you?” he leans in and kisses me before speaking against my lips. “Always.”