Back in the Saddle (Diamond Firetail Farm)

Chapter 7

7

Ciaron

I smiled, remembering the conversations I had with Niamh. The first one, naturally, revolved around the weather. Then where we were from. I hadn’t met anyone yet that knew any people I’d known. The horse scene and city pub scene were two different things.

I never wanted to go back there to live. No matter how much my mother thought I should. And it wasn’t just the miserable weather. I loved the farm and my family. Even if my marriage was over, it didn’t mean I had to leave. My life was here. I didn’t love the farm just because of Taylor; I loved it because it was a part of me.

I couldn’t be in the same room alone with her without feeling the loss, the emptiness. I’d once been proud to call her my wife. Now I referred to her as my business partner. But even that word was used loosely. We had two separate jobs on the farm and these days we rarely overlapped, on purpose.

“Aunty Lorraine,” Fran said from the central reception area.

Why was Lorraine here? She was supposed to be with a friend in Queensland. She hadn’t told us she was coming home. There were lots of hurried footsteps. I imagined Fran coming around her desk to give Taylor’s mum a hug. I walked to my office door.

Fran and Lorraine were holding hands. Lorraine’s once brown hair was now grey and short. She didn’t care about the grey or her wrinkles. She said it was a privilege to have them because not everyone got older.

“You have no idea,” Fran said. Her head whipped to me and then to Taylor, who was standing in her doorway. “I’ll go make you a tea.” She pushed her glasses up her nose and hurried off to the kitchen.

“Hi, Mum.” I walked over to her to give her a hug. She embraced me warmly.

Taylor cocked her head. Could I still call her Mum? I may be split from Taylor, but Lorraine had nurtured me through my adult life. She deserved that title.

“Hi, Mum,” Taylor said, making her way to us. “What are you doing here?”

“Isabelle’s birthday.”

Taylor stared at her.

Lorraine’s eyebrows drew together. “You haven’t forgotten her birthday, have you? It’s bad enough you forget to return my messages.”

Taylor scowled. “No.” She crossed her arms. “Of course I haven’t forgotten.”

From the indignation in her voice, I couldn’t tell if she’d forgotten or not.

“Isabelle and Callum called me a month ago and begged me to come home for it.”

Had they just? Why were they so desperate to have her here? Maybe a month ago, they thought she could have influence over our disintegrated marriage. A lot had happened in a month, though.

I sighed. “We haven’t got anything special planned.”

Lorraine glanced between Taylor and me. Then she took a step back. And another. Her scrutiny had me shuffling my feet.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“I’m going to help Fran,” I said.

Lorraine grabbed my arm. “I don’t think so.”

I stood still like a child who had disappointed their mother, even though the mother didn’t even know it yet.

Taylor’s arms were still crossed. “Maybe Isabelle wanted one last get together before Ciaron went back to Ireland.”

Lorraine’s mouth dropped open. I gritted my teeth. Taylor wouldn’t let the idea of me moving go.

“Why would Ciaron be going back to Ireland?”

“Because we’re no longer married,” Taylor said the words with such derision, I recoiled.

Lorraine’s eyes narrowed as she considered us both. “I beg your pardon.”

“Ciaron left me.”

I grunted. “Yeah. Because it was all my fault. Need I remind you that you checked out a long time ago?”

Lorraine held up her hand. I shut my mouth.

“You’re separated? How long?”

“Nearly three months.” I gave Taylor a pointed look. Three months and she hadn’t told her mother. She had so much disregard for us all. I grimaced. I hadn’t told her either, and yet I still thought I could call her Mum.

“Why am I only hearing about this now?” Lorraine asked, anger tinging her words.

Taylor shrugged. She’d been too busy, I suppose. Funny that.

“And you’re going back to Ireland?” Lorraine asked me.

Taylor nodded.

“I’m not fucking going back to Ireland.” My jaw clenched as I glowered at Taylor. “Stop filling the kids’ head with shit. I’m not your father; I’m not leaving my kids or my home.”

Lorraine snorted. “Your mother may think differently once she sees you’ve broken up. She’s always had this pipedream that you’ll return home.”

Just the thought of my mother finding out made me sweat. “I’m not telling her. It’s not something she needs to know.”

Taylor’s arms tightened across her chest. “You’re not telling her?”

I exhaled sharply. “This is all new. I want to figure out what my new normal is before I tell her. I don’t need her in my ear.”

Lorraine’s hands went to her hips. “I think she will figure it out herself when she arrives in two days.”

“What?” Taylor and I said in unison.

Lorraine grimaced. She couldn’t be serious. This could not be happening. My mother was coming here?

I ran my hand down my face. “Are you sure? I didn’t think she had a passport or the money for airfare.”

Loraine laughed and shook her head. “Those kids probably paid. They offered to pay for me too.”

“With what money?” I asked.

“Their savings.”

Taylor glanced at me. “Must be the money they were saving for a car.”

My brain couldn’t form coherent thoughts. My mother and I had a difficult relationship, which was successful only because I lived overseas and was married to Taylor. Taylor protected me and my sanity. If she was coming here and my relationship with Taylor was in tatters, this visit would not end well.