Chapter 25
A stranger was caressing my breasts through the sheer fabric of my nightgown, while his too-wet lips trailed kisses on my neck and collarbones. I waited for my body to wake up, to react to the touch. It never did. Until he pinched my nipple so hard that I hissed from the pain. This was not what I had envisioned when I had picked him up at the bar. If anything, I’d liked his confidence and witty humour.
“I’m so sorry,” he stammered.
You better be. What was he trying to accomplish? Tearing my boobs off? I gave him a little laugh, and he went back to his ministrations, albeit a bit softer. His fingers went south, gliding between my legs. Yet my body still didn’t react to him. Gosh, I was so bored. As if it were a sign from the heavens, my phone rang. I almost pushed the guy off me to grab the device. Take out the trash . How could I be so happy to see such a stupid reminder? I jumped out of the bed.
“What…” he started.
“I… need to do something very important. It will only take a few minutes.”
Before I left the room, I looked back at him. A tiny part of me still hoped that this night would not be a total blunder.
“While I’m gone, why don’t you think about all the things you want to do to me?” I asked in a sultry tone. “I love surprises.”
That seemed to bring back some light to his pupils. When the door was closed, I let myself sigh. Why was it so hard to find a good one-night stand these days? I had even put on a very short nightgown! It seemed like all the men I had taken home hadn’t been able to make me feel a thing.
I put on my dino slippers, grabbed the bin bags, and went downstairs to the back of our building. From here I could still hear the traffic: honking cars and trams. It was far enough that the noise seemed distant. I looked at my bags and let out a sigh. I would have to go back upstairs, and something told me it would be a total waste of time. I threw the trash away and readied myself.
“Squirrel, what the fuck?!”
I yelped in surprise only to find Danté storming at me. Before I could even register anything, he draped his sweater over my shoulders.
“What are you…?”
He cut me off. “I could see your underwear.”
Mortification made me silent. My cheeks became hotter than the sun under his stern gaze. I quickly closed the zipper of his sweater to hide my body. Danté let out a sigh, running a hand through his damp hair. He was only wearing sports shorts, now that I was wearing his sweater. A thin layer of sweat covered his toned torso, and I found myself unable to look away. Was it gross to want to touch his sweaty bare skin? I mentally hit myself with a frying pan in the head. A guy was waiting for me, and here I was lusting after my neighbour once again.
“Stop looking at me like that.”
“Like what?” I wondered.
“Like you want to eat me.”
“Oh my gosh…”
I had been staring at him like a starved girl in front of a free dessert buffet. Danté made a sign for me to follow him towards the staircase. Most people used the elevator. The both of us being in the medical field, stairs had always been our first choice.
“Why are you dressed like that? Are all your funky pyjamas due for laundry?”
“I don’t wear my “funky” pyjamas when I have someone over.”
His eyes went wide. “Then what are you doing here?”
“He wasn’t getting me in the mood, so I told him to think about what he wanted to do to me while I went outside.”
A silent laugh shook his shoulders. “I always forget how honest you are.”
I found myself staring at his back while we went up, and how his muscles moved. Danté caught me staring. “Like what you see?”
I cleared my throat, cheeks only getting redder and redder. He had caught me twice in less than two minutes. Lying would be dumb.
“Obviously.”
He stopped between two levels. Suddenly he was unable to hold my gaze. “You really have to stop looking at me like that.”
“Or what?” I asked softly.
When Danté finally turned back to me, I could see his dilated pupils, his eyes now more black than blue. I had to refrain from walking over to him. Danté seemed to get my thoughts. A second later, he had me pressed against the wall.
“You make this very difficult, Squirrel.”
“I didn’t do anything. Yet.”
His smile grew, and he leaned in. I could smell the shampoo in his hair and the soft tang of sweat on his skin, and it made my head grow fuzzy. Before I could think, I found myself tracing the muscles of his chest. Goosebumps made the hair on his arms rise. Danté leaned in, his hot breath against my neck. His lips made heat spread in my blood as they trailed kisses towards my shoulder. His hand found my thigh, and I felt goosebumps spread on my own skin. He had barely done anything, and I was ready to follow him anywhere, ready to take everything he would give me. His cool fingers stopped at the band of my underwear, then he hesitated.
“Evy…”
Instead of going back down, his fingers caressed the lowest part of my stomach. I felt my knees getting weak.
“Oh, fuck me.”
I clasped my hands on my mouth as the words left me.
A low laugh shook him. “Be careful what you wish for.”
This was taking too long. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and our mouths finally collided. I pulled back when Danté hesitated. Had he not wanted this? His eyes glided over my face, then fell back on my mouth. If there had been any restraint in him before, it was gone now. He lifted me up and pressed me harder against the wall when his lips finally found mine again. A satisfied sigh escaped me as I kissed him back. My legs circled his waist, his toned body pressed against all the soft curves of mine. His tongue slipped inside my mouth, and I let him deepen the kiss. There was heat building up in my chest. My fingers found his back, and as I slightly scratched his skin, his breath hitched. There was now a hardness in his shorts that was pressing against my most sensitive area. My body responded on its own, and I rolled my hips. Pleasure shot through me; we both gasped at the friction. As I did it again, Danté stopped kissing me, his full attention now on my face. Then he moved too. For a mere second, I thought about asking him to take me to his place. Those thoughts were crushed like glass under a boot when we heard steps coming up the stairs. Danté put me down and we ran towards our own level, laughing. By the time we stood at our doors, we were both out of breath. It had been easy to believe that I could have followed him inside. But now the moment was over. There was still a bulge in his black shorts, and I couldn’t help but feel pride at the sight. Danté watched my door warily, his jaw clenched.
“Think of me when he fucks you,” he said in a clipped tone.
Was he mad? Oh, fuck me. Like I could ever forget what had just happened.
“Wait, before you go,” I shot back.
I unzipped his sweater and took it off, taking my sweet time. Dante’s eyes darted over my neck, my cleavage, and where the sheer material was barely covering my breasts. My skin felt hot under his attention. I wasn’t the only one feeling it. He looked like a dream with his flushed cheeks and kiss-swollen lips. And he looked like he wanted to get back at it again.
“Don’t forget your sweater.” I gave him the piece of cloth, that he numbly accepted. I flashed him my sweetest smile. “I’ll be thinking of you. Goodnight.”
I slipped inside and waited behind the door. There was a loud sigh on the other side, then finally, his door clicked shut. I bit my lips to keep from giggling. I ran towards my room, my body buzzing with newfound excitement. It had to get out of me. Now.
***
Jasmine looked at me over her cup of mint tea as I did my walk of shame. I pretended to not notice and filled a glass with water. Jasmine stayed silent, but I knew she had questions. She always did. At first, she had disapproved of me bringing guys home. Unlike me, Theo and Jasmine were more than old news. He was her first serious boyfriend, her first time, and apparently the one. I, on the other hand, had become like Danté after Robert and I had broken up. Having sex with strangers or almost strangers was fun when you actually found someone who was on the same wavelength. It became less and less fun the more Danté added himself to the formula.
“Let’s go grocery shopping,” she said in a too-calm voice.
Did she know something? I gulped my water down, the sound of it too loud in the silent apartment. She couldn’t possibly know what had happened yesterday, right? Most of the time, I didn’t mind sharing all the saucy details with my best friend. This time, things were different. Gods, I couldn’t even bring myself to think about what had happened yesterday, and what could’ve happened.
Jasmine grabbed two boxes of tampons from the shelves. It was the perfect moment to also make sure my condom supply was restocked. I could feel Jasmine’s eyes burning holes in my skull. The only thing I couldn’t pinpoint was if she was so inquisitive because I was so awkward, or because she knew. But I’d rather die than discover what it was right now. When we entered the building, the person who had been on my mind all night walked down the stairs. Did he ever work? Why was this guy everywhere when I needed him to be far away? I grabbed Jasmine’s arm and went for the elevator. Fuck physical condition.
“Hey Squirrel, where are you running to like that?”
Gods bless Jasmine who didn’t fight me and just followed.
“Gotta go!”
As if he didn’t just come from upstairs, Danté followed us to the elevator.
“You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’re avoiding me.”
“I am actually avoiding you. So if you noticed, be a darling, and let me avoid you!”
“Is there something I should know?” Jasmine asked. She stopped in her tracks before we could reach the elevator.
“No!” I yelled, tugging harder at my best friend’s arm.
Jasmine didn’t bulge, her attention fixed on Danté. Danté patted my head like one would with a child. I pulled back, scowling. His shoulders shook from silent laughter.
“I saw her in her underwear. Stop panicking, Squirrel, I’ve seen more revealing lace than that.”
My whole face and neck turned red. I smacked him on the chest, but Danté just laughed it off.
“I also heard someone leave your place a few minutes after we met.”
Fucking hell. No wonder he was so smug.
“Not helping!”
“What?” asked Jasmine, her face contorted by shock and laughter.
My best friend was too big a fan of tea to follow me back to our level. Traitor .
“Don’t worry, Jasmine. I didn’t do anything to her.”
Jasmine relaxed at that.
“Nothing she didn’t like, anyway.”
Oh, if only the floor could open and swallow me whole. The bastard knew he had just thrown me under the bus. Satisfied with himself, Danté squeezed my shoulder before leaving us.
Jasmine tried not to laugh. “You forgot to tell me something?”
I did my best to not look at her and finally pushed on the button to call the elevator.
“I had someone over last night,” I started.
“I am aware. He tried to sneak out in front of me while I was eating cereal.”
I bit back the comment on how it’s bad to eat those sugars at night. Now was not the time.
“But I had to take out the trash, so I told him to wait a few minutes, and to imagine what he would want to do to me.”
Jasmine shrugged, not even phased. “What happened?”
“While he was waiting for me to return, I was outside of the apartment… And Danté had his tongue in my mouth.”
And his hand under my nightdress, which I didn’t tell her. I had no idea how to face Danté after what we’d done. How do you go back from that? Had he asked, I would have followed him inside. I would’ve given him anything he wanted without even hesitating. And that was fucked up. So perhaps it had been a good thing that we had been interrupted.
“Waw, two guys in one night? Your life really is a drama, huh?”
I hid my face with my hands. “This is so embarrassing.”
Especially trying to get myself in the mood with that guy after meeting Danté outside. Which was why I had sent him away. I had been up for a wild night. A very long, wild night. The problem was that after that kiss, it had been clear there was only one person I wanted to spend the night with. And that person had taken a step back when we had been breathless. During the whole night, I could still feel all the places where Danté had touched me. Which had made me wonder all night if kissing him had been a mistake. A kiss here and a caress there weren’t enough.
“I’m so fucked,” I muttered, tugging at my hair.
Jasmine snorted. “For once, I disagree. You actually need to get fucked. So get your shit together and talk to him. And get laid!”
I looked back at my best friend, unable to keep from laughing.
“What?” she asked defensively. “I live with you. Of course I’ll end up talking like you!”
I hugged her as we walked out of the elevator.
“It only took you two years to get there,” I teased.
Like the adult that she was, Jasmine hit me on the back of my head. “I’m serious, Eves. You love him. You can’t pretend anymore.”
She opened the door, and when we were finally back inside our safe place, I asked the question I had been running away from.
“What if he loves Manal?”
To move on, I knew I had to know if he loved her or not. Or more importantly, I needed to know if he felt the same way that I did. Not loving Manal wasn’t good enough.
“Well, does he? He had his tongue in your mouth, and if I take your red cheeks into account, he probably had his hands somewhere else too. Where was Manal then?”
She had a point. I coughed from embarrassment. It wasn’t awkward to talk about sex when it was about sex with strangers. But then, I hadn’t felt this giddy and hormone-fuelled around other guys like I did with Danté. Jasmine showed me a cheeky grin, proud that she had been able to make me tongue-tied. When the cheekiness dissipated, Jasmine sobered up.
“You promised you’d talk to him. Stop being a coward and do it.”
In the way that my gut clenched and churned, I knew I had run out of time. The time where I could hide my feelings and pretend like they didn’t exist was officially over.