Chapter 15
Matthias
Damnit. I thought I’d have more time with her before Liam came back. The timing of his return is…less than ideal. I was getting so close. Finally.
I saw him chase after her to the bathroom and I thought about following, too, but ultimately I figured Britain didn’t need to see me give Liam another black eye. I’m still pissed at him for not telling me Britain was here. For six fucking weeks, she was with him. My blood starts to boil every time I think about it, and I think about it a lot. Britain is mine.
I’m trying my hardest to calm down before we get to the car because Britain doesn’t need me piling on to her problems, but I just hate that he still upsets her like this. In general, I hate that she’s upset, period. I wish I could solve all her problems. I wish I could give her a life where she doesn’t have to worry about anything. I know Dad, I’m trying. I’m trying to take care of her. But Liam messes up my plans, of which I have many…
I look to my right to check on Brit, but she seems lost in a daze. Her tears have dried, leaving little gray lines running down her face from her makeup, and she has that exhausted look about her again. When I picked her up this evening, she looked like the old Brit for the first time, but all it took was one Liam sighting, and we're right back to square one. She has that same dead-tired, barely alive look she had at the hospital. God, I could fucking kill him.
The car is already running by the time we get to it, so hopefully it’s cooled down enough for her. Wedging between my G-Wagen and the car parked beside us, I open her door.
“Alright, babe,” I say as I use my hand to guide her into the car. She doesn’t respond, just nods once in acknowledgement and I close her door gently.
Before I make my way over to the driver’s side, I stop, leaning back against the trunk door. Not exactly the way I pictured our “first” real date going. Damn.
Instead of getting in on my side, I walk back to her side, re-opening the door. She looks at me in confusion, but I just keep moving. I slide her heels off her feet, setting them to the side, then recline the seat back for her. I run my hand over her head, feeling her silky hair glide between my fingers, and tell her, “Rest, babe. I’ll drive you home, okay?” I turn to shut the car door when she stops me.
She’s so quiet sometimes. I smile, remembering, and lean back into the car to hear her say, “I don’t want to go home, Mats.” She pauses a moment before finishing, “I want to be with you, tonight.” Her words are like music to my ears. Yes, finally. God, all I’ve wanted, for years, was to hear those words. My smile goes so wide, it hurts. I’m not entirely sure if she means she just wants to be with me tonight only, or together together, but I don't give a crap right now. I’ll take anything. Her breadcrumbs, her baby steps, anything.
“Do you want to go to my house?” She nods, and I smile, leaning over to drop a quick kiss on her cheek. “Mmm, you’re a bit salty, babe,” I chuckle as I pull away. She blushes, then immediately puts her hands to her cheeks to rub at the tear stains. Crap, I didn’t mean to make her feel bad about it.
“I’ll run you a bath at the house, if you want?” I rub her thigh gently as I ask. Just picturing her in the tub at my house is already driving me mad with need for her. I fucking need her.
“I’d like that,” she says, then smiles. She has no damn idea what I’d do to make her smile like that again.
Once I’ve parked in the driveway, I hustle around to open her door for her. She gives me a sheepish smile and a “Thank you,” and when I let go of her hand, the nervousness hits me. I haven’t brought her to my house since she’s been back. I wonder if she’ll like it. My house is nice in that everything is from Restoration Hardware, but it’s not ‘designer nice’ like Liam’s. God, I hate that I keep comparing myself to him. I thought about it earlier in the car, too. Like, does she like the G-Wagen more than the Range Rover? Does she wish I was more like him? Fuck, I’ve got to stop with that stupid shit, though. I’m Matthias-fucking-Scala.
We walk through the garage before heading in, but she halts halfway. “You still have it?” She asks as I’m unlocking the door. I’m surprised she can even tell what it is. It’s dark and the Camaro is covered.
“Um, yeah. Just never really wanted to get rid of it.” I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing that I’ve kept it. Brit probably doesn’t have the best memories of it, but the whole reason I kept it was for the memories I had with her in it.
“That’s cool,” she says. “Does it still run?”
“Yeah, it does. Just got a fresh paint job about a year ago, too.” I turn to look at her just staring at the covered body.
“What color is she now?”
I laugh lightly at her question. “Blue,” I say.
She turns to look at me and smiles. “I always thought she’d look great in blue.”
“I know.” I give her a smile back, then slide my hand into hers to guide her into the house. I flip on a few lights before I take her to the primary suite-side of the house, but she tugs on my hand to stop me.
“Matthias, this view is gorgeous.” She’s staring out at the valley floor that’s bathed in orange from the setting sun. My house is one of a small handful on the edge of town that sits on a bluff, providing a view of the river and the land for miles. It’s a great lot, but once we build at Broken Ridge, our view will be even better.
“It’s not as gorgeous as my view, though.” I move behind her, putting my body against her back, my hands falling naturally onto her hips. Fuck me, being here with her is like a fantasy. I don’t need anything else but this. Her with me. “Let’s get you in the bath, sweetheart.” She nods her head against my chest, and I can hear how her breath has sped up in response. I don’t know if she’ll want to be intimate tonight, but when she is ready, Jesus. I don’t plan to let her out of my bed for a month.
I grab her hand again and pull her down the hall to the primary suite. Once we get to my room, I release her to go turn on my bedside lamp. I unbutton the rest of my shirt as I do, just a force of habit, and turn to see Britain with her eyes trained on my pants. I blush a little because I’m sure she can see how hard I still am for her. I just let the linen shirt fall and head towards the bathroom.
I wish I had some sort of fancy bubble bath for her. Need to add that to my shopping list, but at least I have epsom salts. I start the water, checking to make sure it’s not too hot, then add the salts and grab a washcloth and towel from the linen closet, setting them and some body wash on the edge of the tub.
“It’s ready!” I call out, beckoning Britain from the bedroom. She stands in the doorway, slipping off her heels before padding barefoot across the tile.
“Do you think you could unclasp my dress, please?” She stands in front of me, pulling her hair off her back and over one shoulder exposing the clasp at her neck. I slip the hooks out of their hold, then run a knuckle down her bare spine. It’s taking everything in me not to rip her dress off and make love to her in the tub, right now. I just press a soft kiss to her bare shoulder and remind myself I have to move at her pace.
“Do you want something to change into, for after?”
“Do you mind?”
“Of course not. T-shirt? Sweats?” I ask.
“Big tee is perfect.” She steps forward letting the dress fall to the floor in a puddle, then steps forward into the tub. I have to take a large gulp to pick my jaw back up to its normal position. Her pace, Matt, her pace, I remind myself.
I walk to the closet, hoping to conceal my raging boner and find her a shirt. Kicking off my shoes and clothes, I opt for a pair of sweats instead and scoop up an old soccer league t-shirt for her. Doing my best to give her some privacy, I keep my eyes averted towards the sinks when I set down her shirt.
“It’s right here for you, babe. I’ll just be in my room if you need anything.” I head out, but her sweet, quiet voice makes me stop.
“Mats, thank you…for everything.” I just nod my head, staying turned away from her. No, babe, thank you.
Britain
Did I really just choose? I just told Mats I want to be with him. So yeah, I guess I decided then. I want to be with Matthias. I dunk the washcloth to soak up all the soapy water, then scrub at my face in an attempt to remove the tear and makeup stains, but I might have to finish this project in the mirror.
Leaning back against the tub, I close my eyes, peacefully, for just a minute. This feels…right. When I left Liam in the alley, for a second, it felt like I’d made a mistake. I had to fight not to turn back towards him, but by the time I found Matthias, I already knew. I want us to have our chance. I don’t want to be 17 years down the road again and wonder what could have been this time. I don’t have to live with fear of regret any longer.
I breathe in and out, deeply, happy for the small peace the decision has brought me. But it doesn’t last long before my mind drifts to Liam. But just as quickly as he arrives, I push the thought back away. No. He doesn’t get to just show back up, ruin any progress I’ve made with myself, or with Matthias. He doesn’t get to invade my every waking thought anymore.
Carla’s sentiments this past month echo back in my mind, “Take back the control, Britain.” And she’s right, just like she always is. It feels good to take control over this situation. I can’t forgive Liam, and once this lustfulness fades, we’ll just be a broken and brittle shell of a relationship. We’re irreparable.
Okay, enough of that. I want to get back into Matthias’ arms. Popping the drain open on his freestanding tub, the water runs off me in streams as I stand. I wrap up in the humongous bath sheet he laid out for me, and take the washcloth to the extra sink. It doesn’t look like it’s ever been used before. There’s not even a hand soap at it and it makes me wonder: Does he ever bring anyone here? I get a little jealous, then ashamed. He’s Matthias-fucking-Scala. I’m sure he’s bedded many women here before. There’s probably so many of them, they don’t stick around long enough to even wash their hands.
Stop it, Britain. I can’t help but always see us a certain way, though. Him as this gorgeous, intelligent, total catch, and me as the quiet, awkward girl he once fell in a lake with. I use the washcloth to mop up the last bits of mascara, then release the towel to dry off the tips of my hair. I could have really used a claw clip like 20 minutes ago, but oh well now. I throw on the tee he left out for me and examine myself in the mirror. Damp hair, wasted-away makeup, baggy t-shirt. Oof.
I hang up the towel on a hook by the rain shower and grab my dress, folding it, then dropping it beside my heels on the floor.
I find Matthias laying on his bed, reading. He’s wearing thick, black-framed glasses, a pair of gray sweats, and his chest is bare. He has never looked sexier. 42 looks damn good on him.
He keeps on reading, but pats the space beside him, silently acknowledging me. I climb on to the king-sized bed, covered in charcoal gray linen, and scoot beside him. He opens his arm to embrace me at his side, and I cuddle right in, so naturally.
“How was your bath?” he asks, then drops a kiss on the top of my head. I bring a hand up, placing it on his bare chest and glide my hand over his pecs. I don’t remember him being this hairy. It makes me giggle.
“It was good, thank you.”
“What’s so funny, giggles?” He finally sets the book down in his lap and turns his attention towards me.
“I just don’t remember you being this…hairy,” I say, then lightly laugh again.
“Well, I was,” he says.
“Really?” I don’t remember that at all. In my mind, I picture him with a nearly smooth chest.
“Really. I just don’t think we spent much time completely naked when we would…you know.” I blush, hard. Yeah, most of our sex was hurried and half-clothed. His brothers always seemed to be around or in the house, or we were at a park…Christ, we probably had more sex outdoors than anywhere else.
“Hmm, I guess you’re right, but the glasses are new. You never wore glasses before.”
“Yep, I’m old now, babe.” I smile at him, because he is not old and he has never looked better.
“You are not. And I love the glasses, very sexy. You have this hot librarian thing going for you right now.” I use my hand to gesture up and down his body.
“What do the librarians look like where you live?” He teases me, “Because if they look anything like this, you are no longer allowed to visit there.” I laugh and he moves the book to his nightstand, setting his glasses down on top. He pulls me down further on the bed so that my back is flat to the mattress now and as he hovers over me, drinking me in, I grow wet with anticipation.
“What do you want, sweetheart?” he asks, then nudges my nose gently with his. I want him, all of him. I just nod, though. “You’re going to have to say it, babe. I don’t want to do anything you’re not ready for. I’ve already screwed this up at least once before. I’m just as happy to cuddle, or watch a movie, or go get us ice cream. Just tell me what you want.” If I was wearing panties, they’d be soaked by now.
“I want you Mats,” I say as I wrap my hand around his arm, stroking him.
“Are you sure, babe?” Yes. It doesn’t feel wrong anymore. I can honestly say yes.
“Yes.” I haven’t even finished the word when he slams his mouth over mine, immediately slipping his tongue inside. He moves over me, pushing my legs open with a knee before settling on top of me, his right hand holding the back of my head while his left holds him up, careful to never apply any pressure to my abdomen.
He releases my mouth momentarily to say, “You have no idea how much I want you, Brit.” I let loose a small moan when he places his mouth on my neck, kissing and sucking on me with fervor.
“Show me then,” I pant out. He stops what he’s doing and gives me a deadly serious look.
“There’s not enough time, but I guess tonight’ll have to be a start.” He nods down at my shirt, commanding, “Take it off.” I don’t hesitate, just slipping the tee over my head. I nod down at his sweats, silently making the same demand, and he does. Moving off the bed, he pushes the large linen duvet back before he drops the sweats revealing his throbbing cock. It bounces in anticipation, and I can’t stop staring. Did it get bigger? What. The. Hell. Maybe it’s just been that long, no pun intended. I laugh to myself.
“Umm, when was the last time you were tested?” I ask, trying to pull my gaze away from his nude form as he crawls back over me.
“When we started dating,” he says as he nudges me to expose more of my neck so he can go back to work. “And everything was good. You?”
“Yeah, at the doctor’s when I went in for my first prenatal exam. Everything is good.”
“Good,” he says, then moves back, taking a nipple into his mouth, sucking it softly and causing me to writhe beneath him. Fuck, I want him so bad. I trail my fingers through his thick hair as he sucks and nibbles on my breasts.
“Babe?” I practically moan out.
“Yeah?”
“Can I suck your dick, please?” I feel his cock swell against my thigh in response. He looks at me questioning, almost. I’ve never sucked his dick before. I was a little shy at 18 and didn’t have a clue what the fuck to do, but I want to do it for him now.
“Not before I taste you first.” He leans forward, stealing a kiss before he pushes back, trailing kisses across the fading hickeys he left the other day, then moves down, pushing my legs apart. “I’ve literally dreamed about this, Brit,” he says right before he drops his mouth to my clit, laving me with his tongue. I push my hands into his hair to hold him tight against me as I grind, and he moves his tongue over the swollen bud with pressure. He stops his assault just as I’m about to climax to lap up all the juices at my entrance.
“Babe, you taste so fucking good, but I don’t want you to come yet. I need to feel it when you do.” His words cause me to moan and drop my head back against the bed.
“Then can I suck you now?” I look at him as I ask. His tongue is buried deep inside me, and I clench down, making him moan in turn. He places one last kiss on my clit before sitting up.
“How do you want me?” he asks. I pat the space on the bed beside me.
“Laying down.” He nods and moves to the space beside where I just was. Once his back is pressed against the mattress, I crawl over top of him, kissing him gently on the mouth before moving lower. I run my fingernails across his nipples causing goosebumps to form on his arms, and his dick to throb against my inner thigh.
“Do you like that?” I ask, then bite my lip as my inner walls clench around nothing in desire.
“Fuck, yes,” he whispers. I don’t linger, though. I move further down, placing a soft kiss on his pelvis right above his dick, then gently take his balls in my hand as I run my tongue up his shaft. He starts to leak, so I insert the head into my mouth to suck and swallow what’s there.
“Jesus, Brit,” he rasps out. I let him go as deep in my throat as possible before releasing him entirely.
“Do you want more, Mats?”
“Fuck, babe, yes.” He runs a trembling hand through my hair in appreciation. I nod and suck his dick in again, letting him go a little further this time. I add my hand to help, and I suck and pull, riding his cock with my mouth. I can feel myself starting to drip over how turned on it’s making me.
“S-stop, babe. I need you, now.” I release him, and his dick slips out of my mouth, making a popping sound. I move over him to drop down on his cock, but he stops me with a shake of his head, rolling me on to my back and pinning me to the mattress.
“No fucking way are you fucking me tonight, sweetheart. I’ve been fantasizing about this for years.” He gazes down at me while he runs the pad of his thumb over my lip, back and forth, then slips it between my wet lips.
“Suck it, darling,” he demands, and I do. I run my hands up and down the length of the outstretched arm, watching his dick twitch with desire. “Do you want me, Britain?” he asks. I nod.
“Then take my dick, sweetheart.” He presses the wet head against my entrance and starts to ease his way in. Slowly. Too slowly. I want more, I need more. I try to moan out, “More,” but his thumb makes it hard to understand.
“I know you want more, babe,” he says, removing his thumb from my mouth, then slamming into me forcefully. Fuck! Why does it feel a hundred times better than I remember?
“Matthias!” I call out to him in pleasure.
“I know, babe, your perfect fucking pussy was made for me.” He shakes his head, his hair slightly curling with perspiration and falling forward. “No, we were made for each other.” He thrusts again, pulling out then sliding back in, hard. “It’s never been like this with anyone else for me.” He thrusts again, grinding down on me as my hips rise to meet him. “I needed this, Brit. I just fucking need you.” We thrust and grind again, our old rhythm making its way back to us in a new, yet better way.
“Mats, I’m close,” I whisper out. He nods.
“Me too, babe. Don’t look away. Don’t close your eyes, understand?” It’s my turn to nod. I remember now, how intimate sex was with him. It always felt more like making love than fucking, even when he took me hard. Even when he bent me over to seemingly use me, he always brought us back together in the end. Coming together was always his goal, the thought alone brings me to the brink of my orgasm, and when he pushes into me one last time, my climax breaks free.
I scream out his name, and he ruts into me, locking our eyes and our bodies as we both give and take in this intimate exchange. Our bodies are tight against one another, throbbing, when he drops his head beside mine to whisper in my ear, “I’ve never stopped loving you, Brit.”