Chapter Thirty-Three
Myfanwy doesn’t answer my call and for a minute my heart is seized with the fear that I’m too late. What if she’s really had enough of my weakness and cowardice? What if this silence has proved to her that I’m not worth being her friend?
A big part of me wants to lie down and accept this. But that’s the old Ginny and we like the new purposeful Ginny.
The answer, I decide, is to show Myfanwy that I’m capable of change. I pull Mikey’s last message out of my archive and re-read it. He’d sent it the morning after I ditched him in the taxi after our date.
How’s your day going? Did you make up with your sister? x
It was slightly more subdued than any of his previous messages and it was clear he was hedging his bets; hoping I might buy the line he’d emphasized so aggressively on the date: that he was kidding about all of it and he really, really liked me. At the time I furiously archived him, feeling white hot rage. But it’s time to reply.
I start typing.
Hey hey, Happy New Year! OMG so sorry for the delay, I’ve had the maddest couple of weeks with Christmas/NYE and the new store launching. My mum’s had me running around non-stop. Hope you’ve had a lovely one with your family? All good with Toni – Shawn came up with some laughable rubbish about your argument, but everyone knows he’s a liar. So anyway, is it too late to pick up where we left off? Do you fancy meeting at my house tonight at 7pm? G xx
I slightly vomit in my mouth at this. Especially when Mikey wastes no time in replying.
There’s an offer I can’t refuse!!! I’m getting in the shower right now (stop picturing me naked, you minx). Be with you at 7pm xx
The mouth sick is back. I can’t believe how repulsive this man is to me now. I screengrab the exchange and send it to Myfanwy.
Whether she comes or not, I’m going to confront Mikey and tell him exactly how he’s made me feel. I don’t care if he calls me a bitch or laughs in my face. I don’t care if it doesn’t change how he treats women in the future, he still deserves to hear how it’s made me feel. I deserve for him to hear it.
At 6.45pm, the front door goes and I feel my heart in my chest.
Is it Mikey or Myfanwy?
It’s neither.
‘Shawn?’ I blink in surprise and he pulls a face at my expression.
‘Well, excuuuuse me,’ he says, barrelling past me and into the hallway. ‘Clearly you were hoping for someone else.’ He glances around. ‘Is Toni upstairs?’
‘Oh, right, yes, I think so,’ I tell him, distracted. I hadn’t prepared myself to deal with Shawn’s angry energy.
‘I’m here!’ Toni sings from the top of the stairs, coming down to greet Shawn. She takes me in. ‘You look lovely! Going out?’
‘No, actually.’ I debate explaining. On the one hand, I’d love to have Toni with me for this. If Myfanwy needs to see me being brave, my little sister needs me to model bravery for her. On the other hand, Shawn’s here, ugh. Either way though, they deserve a warning, since they’re here. I gulp. ‘Um, Mikey’s on his way over.’
They both explode, shouting at me over each other calling him various names and asking what I’m thinking.
‘I know!’ I try to be heard over the exasperated din. ‘I’m not giving him another chance or anything!’ They finally shut up, so I continue, ‘I’ve tricked him into coming over here so I can confront him about his behaviour.’ I pause, puffing out my chest. ‘I’m being strong!’
From behind me, my favourite voice in the world pipes up. ‘It’s about bloody time.’
‘Myfe!’ I whirl around on my heel, taking in my lovely friend’s lovely face. ‘You came.’
‘Too right,’ she snorts. ‘That screengrab was beyond tantalizing.’
‘Thank you,’ I say, my bottom lip wobbling.
Sonali trails in right behind Myfanwy, shutting the door behind her. ‘Oh, Gin, don’t start crying, we’re here for fun!’
‘Sonali,’ I say joyfully as she gathers me up into a big hug. ‘I’m so happy to see you both.’
‘Same,’ Sonali says into my hair. ‘Myfe’s been a right fucking misery the last couple of weeks. I kept telling her to message you but she said you needed some time to get your head together and figure things out.’
I pull away. ‘She was right,’ I admit, glancing at my best friend. ‘She’s always bloody right – it’s annoying.’ Sonali nods, rolling her eyes.
Myfanwy looks delighted by this. ‘Right, where do you want us?’ She looks around. ‘I assume he’ll be here any minute.’
At this, the doorbell goes and I glance around at Myfanwy, Sonali, Toni and Shawn’s expectant faces.
‘Let’s do this,’ I say, with grim determination, suddenly not the least bit afraid. I open the door to find a grinning Mikey on the step. The grin fades as he glimpses the group gathered around me, and for a second I think he will make a run for it. Instead, his face crumples in on itself.
‘I’m sorry, I’m really fucking sorry,’ he whispers hoarsely. ‘I know I shouldn’t do it but I can’t help myself. Please don’t tell Janine. Please, I’m really sorry.’
He looks genuinely contrite, broken down by his own stupid male ego.
But instead of comforting him and saying it’s all OK – which every awkward, introverted instinct is telling me to do – I pull myself up to my full height.
‘You’re a cheating prick,’ I tell him, as he hangs his head. ‘It’s despicable and I can’t believe I nearly slept with you. I deserve better and so does your girlfriend.’
He’s silent for a minute. ‘I know,’ he admits in a low voice. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘I don’t accept,’ I say with feeling. ‘Have you done it before? To Janine, I mean. Have you cheated on her before?’ He answers this by staring at the ground. ‘I guess that’s a yes.’ I sigh with disgust. ‘Well, you’re going to tell her, Mikey.’
He looks up at this, horror on his face. ‘No, I can’t! She—’
‘—deserves to know,’ I finish for him. ‘And she deserves to dump your egomaniac necrotizing arse in the bin where you belong.’ His eyes are wild, thinking this over, trying to find a solution.
Myfanwy leans in. ‘I’ll be checking your Instagram and Twitter and Facebook, and if it looks like you haven’t told her in the next week, I’ll be messaging her.’
Shawn steps forward. ‘And you can try blocking all of us, but we’ll just keep popping up with new accounts.’
Sonali pulls out her phone. ‘Look at that, Janine’s account is public on Instagram, and now I follow her!’
The inevitability hits Mikey and he nods sullenly. ‘Fine, I’ll tell her.’ His bravado mask comes up and he rolls his eyes exaggeratedly. ‘Jeez, you’re making such a big deal over all of it. It was just a bit of fun.’
‘No, this was a bit of fun!’ I say, smiling widely. ‘Now, off you fuck, you cheating knobhead. And please do lose my number forever, won’t you?’ I slam the door in his face and turn around to my cheering audience. ‘Drink?’ I suggest, laughing as they all cheer even louder.
‘You were amazing!’ Shawn says admiringly as we collapse on the sofa with wine. It’s the first time he’s given any indication that he likes me. ‘You did so well!’
‘Thanks!’ I declare happily. ‘That felt really good.’ I glance over at him. ‘And seriously, Shawn, thanks for telling me about the cheating.’
He puffs out his chest, looking thrilled. ‘Of course. You’re my sister.’
‘Thanks,’ I say, surprised by the warmth between us. I actually quite like this side of him. Underneath the vanity and ego and monstrous toxic masculinity, I suspect he’s got a decent heart. He was horrified by what Mikey was doing, and he called him out on it. And he backed me up hard out there in the hallway. Maybe he’s not such a bad dude after all.
Who would’ve thought the one guy in all of this who’s turning out to be an OK person would be Shawn?
Or maybe my benchmark these days is just really, really low.
Myfanwy flops down next to me, swigging wine. ‘Hey, you really were brilliant back there, Gin, scolding that knobber. I know you don’t like confrontation, but you’re really good at it!’ She laughs and I join in.
‘I want you to know that I’ve heard you; I listened to everything you said,’ I promise with sincerity. ‘I know you were completely spot on about all of it and I’m determined to be better. I’m working on pleasing myself instead of other people.’ I grin and she pulls me in for a cuddle.
‘It’s only because I want you to be happy,’ she tells me, sounding a little bit emotional.
‘I know that,’ I reassure her. ‘And I’m sorry I’ve been such a broken record about these six predictions.’
‘Maybe stop thinking about them as a curse, and instead as a gift?’ she suggests, and it reminds me of my visit from Aunt Diane.
‘I’m trying,’ I nod. ‘And I’m going to get control of my life. I’m going to speak to Celeste.’
Myfanwy raises an eyebrow. ‘Wow.’
‘I want to give the new store a few more weeks,’ I explain. ‘It’s open now, so it’s too late to stop it. Plus, she is technically my boss…’ I pull an awkward face. ‘So, I’m going to give the expansion my best try. I’m going to sell the crap out of these hideous new accessories.’ Myfanwy snorts at this. ‘But if it’s not working out, I’m going to be so brave, Myfe, you’ll see. I’m going to talk to her about her, er, flaws she might have…’
‘By flaws, I assume you mean her refusal to respect any of your boundaries?’ Myfanwy giggles and I nod.
‘I do indeed mean that. But I at least owe her my best efforts for now on this expansion plan. I want the company to succeed.’
‘That’s fair enough,’ Myfanwy nods. ‘And in the meantime, I have an update you are not going to believe.’
I sit up straighter, checking furtively around the room for Sonali. ‘About Project Proposal?’ I ask in a whisper and she shakes her head.
‘Nope! And can I just say, for the record, that it’s been killing me holding onto this info when we weren’t speaking.’ I turn to face her, leaning an elbow on the edge of the sofa.
‘It killed me too—’ I begin but she shushes me.
‘I don’t mean because I missed you.’ She rolls her eyes. ‘I suppose I missed you.’ She grins. ‘But I wanted to tell you: the funfair guy finally got back to me!’
‘No way, my god!’ I gasp, almost spilling wine across my lap.
Myfanwy mirrors my excitement. ‘It turns out the fortune teller woman travelled with them for quite a few years but she left a while back…’
‘Oh.’ I’m disappointed, but not surprised. Myfanwy gives me a cheeky grin and I realize there is more.
‘He told me that the reason she left was that she got discovered. She now does readings on a random small fry, local network in East Anglia. She does her psychic readings for an audience now.’ I audibly gasp and her smile gets wider. ‘That’s not even the best bit,’ she continues, looking mischievous. ‘Guess what her name is?’ I feel my brow furrow as Myfanwy bursts out laughing. ‘She’s called Crystal.’ She pauses dramatically, adding: ‘Crystal Ball.’