Chapter Three
After a shower and a ton of water, Banks felt halfway human. He didn’t let himself feel anything very often, but it had been a good day. With the lights out and Kyson tucked against his side, a movie played on the wall. Banks didn’t see it. His mind was too busy with other things. That kiss was the biggest thought in his head, followed closely by Shane scolding Kyson. He felt too much tonight. Banks was too sober. He wanted to kiss Kyson again, and he wanted to murder Shane. Then again, Shane wasn’t wrong. He was definitely wrong for taking any sort of angry tone with Kyson. He had to know Kyson couldn’t handle it. But telling Kyson not to care about Banks was totally fair. Banks wouldn’t care about him in Kyson’s shoes, but Kyson did, and Banks was determined to deserve it.
The door opened and Shane strolled in, obviously having taken advantage of his day off. He held several shopping bags and looked relaxed. His gaze moved over the way Banks held Kyson. He walked away without as much as a hello. A loud sigh rang through Banks’ head. He didn’t know how to feel. On one hand, he understood. On the other, fuck. Give him a goddamn chance to fuck up before getting angry. The irritation beat him.
Banks kissed Kyson’s temple. “Will it bother you if I light up?”
“Not at all.” The open trust in Kyson’s voice proved he genuinely didn’t care. His heart had never stood a chance. Kyson wanted him as is. That was the hottest fucking thing he had ever experienced. He kept his lips against Kyson’s skin, placing several more kisses until Kyson laughed. Banks couldn’t stop smiling. The pressure in his chest eased.
“I thought you were lighting up.”
Banks’ mouth moved to Kyson’s ear. He kissed the shell. “I changed my mind. The last thing I want is to prove Shane right.”
Kyson leaned away and met Banks’ stare. “I don’t give a good goddamn what Shane thinks. You’re the only one who matters to me. I wouldn’t be sitting here right now if I didn’t think I could accept you exactly as you are. Do I wish you’d stop trying to kill yourself the way you did last night? Yes, but I’ve also been here six months and I know that’s not normal for you. I trust you not to break my heart like that.”
Banks patted his lap. “Come here.”
Kyson did as told, straddling Banks’ lap.
Banks hauled him closer. “You have nothing to worry about.”
Kyson nodded, looking way more trusting than he should. “I know.”
“You should definitely kiss me.”
Embarrassment tinged Kyson’s features, but he still leaned in and touched his lips to Banks’. Banks let him lead. Someone had already taken everything from Kyson once. Banks wanted to give him his power back. While Kyson might have been flustered, he didn’t hold back. He nibbled Banks’ bottom lip until Banks opened for him. When their tongues met, Banks lost some of his resolve on letting Kyson be in charge. His fingers found the zipper of Kyson’s one-piece elephant pajamas. He slid it down, moving slowly in case Kyson wanted him to stop. The moment he slipped his hands beneath the material, he heard Kyson take a shaky breath. Banks’ chest swelled. For once, he didn’t feel like a failure.
“Your dad is on the phone. He says he’s been trying to call for an hour.”
Banks dropped his forehead to Kyson’s shoulder. “I don’t even know where my phone is. Tell him I’m busy.”
“I already tried that. He says he has an unwilling guest.”
Banks growled. He zipped Kyson’s pajamas. “Go pack a bag, baby. We’ll stay at Dad’s tonight.”
Kyson nodded and climbed from his lap without argument. He knew Kyson would rather spend the night in Banks’ childhood bedroom than be alone with Shane right now. It was nowhere near the first time they had stayed with his parents. Kyson would be fine there. Banks swore Kyson was the only person his mom liked other than her children. Banks watched Kyson pass Shane with his head down. His eye twitched.
Banks waited until Kyson was out of earshot. “I expect you to apologize to Kyson. Since the moment he stepped foot in this house, he’s been nothing but kind. He didn’t deserve for you to scold him like that. You know he can’t handle it.”
“Banks, I—”
Banks swiped a hand through the air. “I don’t give a fuck what you think about me. I’m used to everyone in this family thinking I’m a piece of shit. If you can’t apologize, or you’re unhappy here, you can go back to living with Dad.”
Shane’s features hardened at the threat. “You know I don’t want to live with your dad, and you know I don’t think you’re a piece of shit. You’re fucking killing yourself while the rest of us have to sit back and watch.”
“Apologize to Kyson.”
“I’d already intended to do so.”
Banks dipped his chin. “Then we have nothing else to talk about.”
Shane pinched the spot between his eyes. “Your phone is in your car.” With that final tidbit, Shane disappeared back down the hall. Banks didn’t know how to feel. This was what he got for not lighting up. He shouldn’t feel anything at all. Nothing good ever came of his emotions. His temper always won and everyone else paid the price.
Beau Bosi’s house was more like an estate. It was huge and imposing. Everything inside was pretentious as hell. The first time Kyson had visited, he had been scared out of his mind. Then he had met Banks’ mom, Tabitha. She was eccentric and caustic. Kyson loved her. She loved a family with all her heart that didn’t deserve her. Kyson could tell her sons loved her, but Beau was so fucking unbearable, no one wanted to be around him. That left her isolated.
Unfortunately, Kyson hadn’t seen Tabitha when they arrived—likely because it was so late. Banks had taken Kyson to his childhood bedroom, found a movie for him to watch, and then headed back downstairs to deal with whatever bullshit Beau dragged him into. Kyson's heart broke for Beau’s family. They were his wife and kids, but they were more like hostages.
The more time that passed, the more Kyson’s nerves stretched. He chewed the side of his thumbnail and watched the door. Eventually, he dozed. Light and the sound of water running jerked Kyson awake. He spent a moment confused about where he was before spotting Banks standing at the bathroom sink. Blood covered his hands. His discarded shirt on the floor was covered in blood. Kyson couldn’t tell if it was his, but he saw the split knuckles even from his vantage point. He slipped from the bed and padded that way. Kyson half expected Banks to close the bathroom door in his face. He didn’t. In fact, he stared at nothing with the water running pointlessly. It was as if Banks had disappeared inside himself. Kyson kissed the spot between Banks’ shoulder blades. He kept his lips pressed to Banks’ skin as he reached around him and led Banks’ hands beneath the water. Banks flinched. Kyson made a shushing sound against his skin as he gently washed Banks’ hands.
“You shouldn’t touch me.”
Kyson kept kissing his shoulder, ignoring the words.
“You’re too good to be touching someone like me.”
The dead note to Banks’ voice was breaking his heart. “Turn around.” Kyson had gotten his hands as clean as he could without some sort of ointment to stem the bleeding. “Let me see.”
To his surprise, Banks obeyed.
Kyson kept his gaze locked on Banks’ hands. He had an irrational fear Banks would shut him out if he met his stare. “Is there a first-aid kit around here? Or maybe just some antibacterial ointment?”
“Under the sink.”
Kyson worked around him to search the cabinet. He found the kit and went back to working on Banks’ hands.
“This is who I’ll always be. I don’t have a choice.”
“I know.” Kyson patted the wounds dry with gauze before swiping ointment across his busted knuckles.
“I’m an addict.”
He blew on the wounds. “I know.”
“You’ll never be able to love someone like me.”
Kyson lifted his chin. The pain he saw in Banks’ eyes nearly buckled his knees. “I already do.”
Kyson’s feet left the floor as Banks swept him into his arms. “I want to call you a fool, but I’m scared as hell you’ll believe me.”
His heart never stood a chance against this sexy, broken man. He had saved Kyson, but Kyson thought—maybe—Banks needed him too.
Banks set one knee on the bed and followed Kyson down. He looked so intense, Kyson couldn’t look away. “I just want to hold you. There’re no condoms or anything here. Not that I’m assuming.”
Kyson might have smiled if things didn’t feel so powerful between them. “I want to touch you.” He had to know what Banks looked like when he came. Kyson thought he might go insane if he didn’t do all the things he wanted. He didn’t want to wake up tomorrow and realize he lost his chance, or this was just a dream. A temporary bout of insanity on Banks’ part.
Banks didn’t respond. On his side, facing Kyson, he held Kyson’s stare. It was like they couldn’t look away from each other.
Kyson skimmed his fingers down Banks’ torso, silently begging Banks not to stop him. A flush slowly rose on Banks’ cheeks as Kyson unbuttoned and unzipped his pants.
“You’re so incredibly beautiful. Inside and out.” Banks visibly swallowed as Kyson’s fingers encircled his cock. “I’m terrified I’ll destroy everything that makes you flawless.”
Kyson stroked. “Then don’t.” It truly felt that simple to Kyson. Kyson didn’t want to hurt Banks, so he wouldn’t. It should be just as easy for Banks, except Banks had his family looming over him. There would be things he couldn’t control.
Banks’ lips parted. His breathing turned heavier.
Kyson didn’t look away. He wouldn’t let Banks’ family destroy this. Kyson knew who he loved. He wasn’t scared. In fact, he had never felt more protected. Cherished. His body burned, but Kyson didn’t care about himself. Of course, that was his problem. He had never cared about himself. Kyson put everyone above himself. He couldn’t help it. He just wasn’t that special.
Banks slowly slid the zipper down on Kyson’s pajamas. Still, his gaze never wavered from holding Kyson’s stare. When Banks’ hand found its way inside Kyson’s underwear, he swallowed. It scared him how good Banks’ touch felt. Banks rolled, pinning Kyson beneath him. A small part of Kyson wanted to panic. Nothing good ever happened to him beneath a man. Except Banks never relinquished his stare, and Kyson trusted him. He believed in Banks in a way he never had anyone before. Then Banks held their cocks together and rolled his hips. A gasp tore from Kyson. No one had ever made love to him. He had zero doubt that was exactly what Banks did.
“Tell me.”
Kyson didn’t have to question the demand. He knew because he ached for the same. “I love you.”
Banks’ mouth covered his and his thrusts quickened. He felt so overwhelmed and weak, but in a good way. Kyson didn’t have to fear being vulnerable. Banks would take care of him. Kyson forgot to overthink. His body’s needs took over his every thought. He was a limp noodle, while everything was done to him, but Kyson couldn’t function. All he could do was focus on their kiss and the tension climbing his shaft.
His fingertips dug into Banks’ shoulders. He fought the urge to pull him closer. Kyson was ready to fly apart at the seams. Banks leaned his head away and visibly strained toward release. The taut lines on his face sent Kyson over the edge. He had done that. Kyson was the reason for that ecstasy. The knowledge had him shaking and whimpering as cum filled the space between them.
Then Banks dropped his chin. His expression was crystal clear and lucid. “I love you.” The confession rocked Kyson’s soul as Banks shook cum out onto his skin. Kyson’s mind stayed frozen on those three little words. They bounced around his brain like a bullet on the loose. Nothing mattered but knowing he owned Banks’ heart. Kyson didn’t give a shit about anything else anymore. He was exactly where he was meant to be. Let it destroy him. He no longer cared.