13. Kai
It’s about ten in the evening by the time I roll in, and the competition is tomorrow evening. It’s a night race because it’s so hot down here. The drive took, give or take, eighteen hours from northern California to New Mexico. We’re in a small town in the northern part of the state for the next race. I hardly slept last night because I was too jacked up, so I left at five in the morning. I’m going to see her tonight and still haven’t decided if I want to say a word to her about the kiss. We still haven’t talked on the phone or even texted, which is odd for us. I don’t know how that makes me feel, but we should talk about it. She’s still my best friend. I love her, and I don’t want it to come between us. I don’t want her to resent me because I can’t be the man she wants me to be.
Lights are all over the track, and the campground off to the side is almost full as I drive through to my space. I spot the Quinn trailer, and my heart thuds harder in my chest. I need to get this over with, but I have no idea how to approach it. The last thing we need is Reece finding out his daughter, and I made out, and we both wanted more. I know he will see it as a betrayal. He is the one man I truly respect. He’s been more of a father to me than my own. I owe him a lot, and screwing his daughter is not a repayment.
Once I get the trailer backed in, I unhook my two-fifty, then get it balanced and get the sides of the trailer that bump out set up. We’ll be here for a couple of days, and then it’s off to North Florida.
When I finish setting up, it’s almost midnight, so I shower and get into bed. Right as I fall asleep, there’s a knock at the door. I rocket out of bed and grab my gun quietly. No one followed me here. I kept checking. It’s not exactly easy to lose someone with this rig, but I did what I could to make it difficult. I’d love to stop looking over my shoulder for once in my life.
I take the two steps down the stairs and try to peek behind the blinds, but I can’t see anyone. I hear a sniffle, and a frown crosses my face. If someone is trying to kill me, they certainly aren’t crying about it. Holding the gun behind my back, I open the door to Cordelia with red, puffy eyes and her arms wrapped around herself. I stick my head out the door to check around, and it’s quiet.
“Gem? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” I grab her arm and pull her up the stairs, closing the door and locking it behind me. I put the gun on the counter next to the door.
She stands in the middle of the floor, her shoulders shaking and little gasps of breaths passing her lips.
“Why are you crying? Are you hurt?” I ask her, grabbing her elbow. Her swollen eyes lock with mine, and my gut twists. Whatever it is, whoever I have to bury, it will be done. I will make sure of it. She shakes her head and bites down on her lower lip.
I grab her chin and lift her eyes to mine. I’m almost breathless looking at her. Even with her red face and puffy eyes, she’s beautiful. “Talk to me,” I urge her.
She throws herself into my arms, and I freeze for a second before holding her close. A sob rips through her mouth, and it hurts to hear. I don’t like to see her cry. I’ve seen Cordi cry like this a total of five times in our friendship. Two times was because she hurt herself, and one was because she didn’t get a job opportunity she worked really hard for. Once was because she was upset about her parent’s divorce many years ago, and then now.
I hold her for what feels like forever until her sobs subside. She takes a step back, still holding onto me. I’ve been trying to ignore her hands on my bare skin, but it feels so good. She searches my eyes and then takes a step back and sits on the couch.
“Let me get you some water,” I mumble, grabbing a bottle from the fridge.
Sitting next to her, I twist off the cap and hand it over. She downs about half of it and rubs her stomach.
“Does your stomach hurt?” I ask her. I’m not sure what to do. I can take her to urgent care; maybe that would help, but she shakes her head.
“Gem, why are you crying? Talk to me. You can trust me. I know…” I trail off. This is not how I wanted to have this conversation, but it’s as good of a time as any. “I know what happened a few months ago shook both of us, but you are still my best friend and—“
“I’m pregnant,” she blurts. My mouth drops open in shock, and I have no idea what to say because she doesn’t seem happy about it. Maybe she’s just scared?
“That’s great, gem,” I tell her. I guess she moved on quickly. I school my expression and stay calm because I think that’s what she needs right now.
“Not really,” she mumbles. I take her hand and hold it between mine. She looks at our hands clasped together. I don’t know what to say. “I told him, and he said he doesn’t want me… or the baby,” she says, choking on the words.
My body tenses, and I wait for her to continue. I will put him in the ground.
“I…I found out after I went to visit Mom for a while. You know how I love being there. I wasn’t feeling good and honestly thought it was her cooking. And then I realized I had missed a period, so I checked it. I went to the doctor to be absolutely positive. I’m at the end of two months now. And here we are.”
“And you told the father?” I ask her. She nods. “And he said he didn’t want you,“ I grit out. She pins her lips between her teeth. My hands tighten around hers, and a sob bursts out of her lips.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do, Kai. I should have never…this is no way to raise a kid,” she says through her tears. I let go of her hands and pull her into me.
“Does your dad know?” I ask, kissing the top of her head.
“He’s going to lose it,” she cries.
I sigh, rubbing her back. He probably will, but he’s a good man. He won’t leave her high and dry. “You need to tell him, gem,” I mutter. My chest burns, and I try to ignore the meaning of it.
“I’m surprised you haven’t asked who it is,” she mutters and leans back.
I shrug. “It’s not my business. I’m a little scared of the answer if I’m being honest. But it’s up to you if you want to tell me.”
Her eyes widen and her pretty lips part. “Really?” she says, dumbfounded. I nod and wipe the tears from her cheeks. I open my mouth to say something. “Rafe,” she rasps.
My head jerks back because I’m not sure I heard her right. I go from being sick to my stomach to righteous anger. “Wait—“
She bites her lower lip and nods slowly.
“As in Rafe Taylor, who is on this team?“ I ask her. She winces and seems to fold in on herself. “Gem, I…” It doesn’t take me long to put the timing together. Something about that alone rips me apart, but I can’t find it in myself to be angry. I pushed her away.
“There’s nothing to say, Kai. It is what it is. I’ll figure it out. I don’t need him.”
“And you told him you are pregnant with his child. And he did nothing?“ I almost yell.
“Yeah,” she rasps. I jump to my feet and start pacing back and forth. I’m going to put a bullet in his skull, or maybe I’ll make him wish he was dead first. Yeah, I like that idea. I can hogtie him and take him home. No one will hear a thing. He will quit the team unexpectedly, everyone will be mad, and he will be forgotten. All I have to do is call my brothers, and no one will think anything of it. They are just coming to see me compete. That’s when we can make our move.
“Kai?” Cordelia asks, bringing me out of my plan to kill Rafe Taylor. I look up, meeting her eyes, and her expression is full of worry that I want to quell. Hell, I’ll do whatever I need to do to help her. I’ll buy her whatever she needs. I can talk to Mom about how to handle a baby. I don’t know much, but I’ll learn for her. Or maybe she can stay with her Mom. They don’t get along very well, but at least she wouldn’t be moving around every few days. Then I don’t have to worry about her seeing me beat Rafe’s face in before I provide a long and torturous death for him.
“Can I stay here tonight?” she asks. I nod absently and hold my hand out to take her to my bed. I’ll sleep on the couch, where there’s a pull-out. Not that I’ll be able to sleep. It’s taking every bit of restraint I possess not to go grab one of my larger wrenches and go beat his head in now. I pull the covers back and then slide them up over her body. The AC is working overtime since it’s so hot. I grab my pillow and a blanket from the cabinet and start down the steps.
“Kai?” Gem says.
“Yeah?” I ask over my shoulder.
“I—“ her voice breaks. “I know you don’t want me, either, but can you stay with me, please? I need my best friend right now.”
My stomach bottoms out, and my heart rips in two. I know emotional anguish, but I have never felt it the way I do right now. Little does she know she is everything I want. I walk over to my side and toss the pillow on my bed. I’m playing with fire, yet not a single cell in my body cares.
I crawl in next to her, refusing myself the urge to pull her into my chest and keep her there until she has the baby. I’m a hypocrite for even thinking that maybe the safest place for her is in my arms. Yep, I’m an idiot, and Liam and Emerson would be rolling on the floor right now.
She turns to her other side and wiggles over to me. My body naturally gathers her closer to me, and I sigh into the pillow. “Thank you,” she whispers.
While rubbing her back, the words come out before I can rethink them. “What you said isn’t true, gem. I will do everything in my power to be here for you, no matter what,” I say quietly. She doesn’t respond, but that’s okay. We will figure everything else out tomorrow.