60. Cordelia
I get the dishes in the dishwasher and quickly rinse the pots and pans before heading upstairs to Theo’s bathroom. But the light is off, and they aren’t in there. I wander into our room and hear Kai’s voice coming from the bathroom. When I push the door open, I find him with Theo in the shower with him held up against his chest. The spray hits Kai’s back as he rubs baby soap over Theo. He’s somehow kept him asleep all this time, which means he will probably wake me up sooner rather than later.
Kai glances at me and smiles, returning his attention to Theo as he sings some kind of iteration of Rub a Dub Dub and Pony. I wish I had my camera to take a picture. I don’t even know where my phone is right now. I grab a towel for Theo, and once Kai’s done washing him, he passes our sweet-smelling baby to me. Theo startles awake, screaming in my ear.
“I’m going to go put him down,” I tell Kai and start our bedtime routine. Tonight, Theo’s sleeping in his crib. I’ve been going back and forth between his crib and bassinet next to the bed for a good month. For the first month, that was primarily where he slept or on one of our chests. But the moment Kai got up to use the bathroom, or if I needed water, it would wake him up. We learned that lesson the hard way, so he’s going in his crib tonight. Plus, we won’t have this luxury much longer since we will be on the road in less than a month. That’s going to create a whole new set of challenges.
After Theo is dressed and fed, he finally calms down and falls asleep in my arms. He was just hangry. I sit there for a moment, taking in his little face. I’m glad Rafe, Kai, and I all have brown hair because Theo looks a lot like me. I can see a bit of Rafe in him, but if you didn’t know, you would think it was Kai. I’ve thought about what I will tell Theo one day about his birth father. I imagine it will be quite difficult, and though I’m so thankful for my little boy, I do wish he was biologically Kai’s. The thought makes me feel so guilty, but at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter, as Kai tells me all the time, though I know he wishes the same. Regardless, there is no question in my mind we are both so in love with him, and the circumstances do not change the facts. Kai is Theodore’s father, legally, mentally, physically, and emotionally. He’s everything I could have hoped for in a father for our son and more. So when the day does come, and we sit down to tell him, maybe it won’t be so bad because Kai has always been there. And hopefully always will be.
“Everything okay?” Kai whispers.
I look up from Theo’s sleeping face and see my husband standing in the doorway with a pair of low-slung shorts and no shirt. I smile and nod, slowly lifting out of the chair. Kai’s presence grows as he comes up behind me, watching me lay Theo in his crib. We wait a minute longer to make sure he won’t wake up, then tiptoe out of the room.
Hot and fast need rises like a flood in my body the instant we close the door to Theo’s room. Kai grabs my throat and pushes me up against the wall. He swallows my gasp, consuming me, ravishing my mouth like he’ll brand my body. His hips press up against me, and I hold on to him as my knees go weak. It feels so good having his body pressed completely against mine without a baby bump in between us.
He pulls away, dragging his lips roughly down my neck as his hand skims up my ribs to my breasts.
“Kai,” I gasp.
He growls, and I grip his hair as he lifts me up and carries us to our room.
“Close the door. I don’t want to wake him up,” I say breathlessly.
Kai tosses me on the bed, then takes two long strides back to the door, closing it quietly. Then he prowls back over to me, and the ache between my legs increases tenfold. He crawls over me, resting his hands on either side of my head, and sweeps his lips against mine. My knees meet his hips, and they jerk against my center, dragging a moan from my chest.
He grips my thigh, and I lift my hips, urging him to continue. My eyes almost roll to the back of my head as his cool fingers slip past my leggings. He sweeps his thumb across me, and a shrill cry leaps from my lips.
Kai leans in, moving his hand and kissing my face and lips like a man on a mission. “Do you remember what you told me when you were pregnant after our date night?” His hand stops, and I frown, opening my eyes. “Do you?” he asks again.
I nod, sliding my hands from his back to his hair, drawing him into a soft, sensual kiss. He pulls away and moves his fingers. “Answer me,” he commands.
“I told you I wanted you to break my back,” I bite my lip, trying to smother my laugh because it sounds ridiculous now. He grins and smashes his lips to mine.
“Your wish is my command, wife,” he says gruffly with a tinge of laughter.
I whimper behind my pinned lips because I have never seen Kai like this. It’s savage, primitive, and thoroughly overwhelming. He leans back, taking the waistband of my leggings and ripping them off my body. I lean up to remove his shorts, but they are already gone.
He slides his hand under my lower back, helping me scoot up the bed, but then he stops. I take deep breaths, trying to keep up with the rattle of my heart. He’s staring at my stomach, and I almost move my hand, trying to cover myself. There are new stretch marks, and the skin is a little looser than before.
“I still can’t believe our little boy was in here,” he whispers, then looks up, meeting my eyes. “I can’t wait to put a baby in you,” he says thickly.
I grin and reach up to his hair, brushing the few strands out of his face. “Soon,” I rasp.
His eyes widen. “You’re really ready that quickly?”
“We need to wait a little longer, but yeah.”
He groans and kisses my belly button.
“I can’t wait to feel all of you against me, to see you beneath me,” he says and continues his way down my stomach to my wide hips and thick thighs. He bites the skin on my inner thighs gently and puts his fingers back between my legs.
“Lay back,” he says, pressing three fingers between my breasts. He grabs my calves and lifts my legs to his shoulders before sinking down onto the bed. I can feel him smile against the delicate skin of my inner thigh. He groans and closes his eyes as he nips at me.
“Shh, baby,” he grins. I bite my lower lip, trying to stay quiet. “Mierda,“ he grunts.
I lift my head, and our eyes lock in a silent battle of chasing our untamed pleasure as he lifts me into the sky until we slam back down, leaving me limp and gasping. He stands and comes back over me, and I slide my hands to his shoulder blades, gently grazing my fingers up and down. He shivers and kisses me so deeply, thoroughly, that love bursts from my heart.
My knees come back to his waist, and he doesn’t waste any time gently pushing himself into me. I gasp with a slight twinge of pain, and he waits for a moment, knowing I need it. I nod, and he continues pushing forward until his body is pressed against mine, chest to chest. The position leaves me no room but to look at the man who changed my world forever. I clasp his face in my hands and kiss him gently, leaning my forehead down against his as he looks up with nothing but love shining through them. Our breaths are slow and deep, like our movements as we make love to each other. It’s languid and pulls at every heartstring in my body that’s tied to him.
“I love you,” I tell him, my voice wavering. He moans and thrusts his hips, kissing me slowly and softly. The stark contrast between his pounding hips and his slow tongue bathes me in his consuming heat.
“You are my everything,” he grunts between sharp inhales. I grasp his sweaty skin as his angled hips send unrelenting shocks of electricity through me.
“Kai,” I gasp.
“Not yet, gem, not yet,” he grunts.
I whimper, trying to keep the flood of endorphins back. Then he pulls away from me, gripping my knees and holding me wide as he drives back into me. His abs expand and contract as I grasp for purchase on the sheets. He smiles, giving me all he’s got, making the headboard thump against the wall.
Kai lets go of my knees, and I lock my ankles at his back. With one hand between us and the other covering my mouth, he looks me in the eye and commands me.
“Now, gem, now,” he groans, pressing his thumb down.
My back arches, my limbs shake, and bright stars appear in my vision as we launch ourselves off the ramp and float as Kai gives us wings. I scream so hard into his hand my voice goes hoarse, and a tear runs down my face. I lock my ankles harder, urging him to keep going until he can’t.
He drops his head into my neck and groans into my skin before biting down on my shoulder to muffle his moans. The sharp sting of pain sets off another wave of pleasure as Kai slows his movements.
He drops to his elbows, drawing out every passionate breath between us as he smoothly guides himself inside me. Our chests rub, and I moan into his shoulder as another shock flutters through my body. He relents and stays on top of me while I hug my arms around his neck with my ankles around his back. I don’t want him to move. I want to feel his weight on mine.
He groans, relaxing further into me as his warm breath brushes against my chest. I smile at the ceiling, dragging my fingertips over his back.
Kai rolls to the side and pulls me into his chest, laying kisses over my shoulder and up my neck until he reaches my mouth. He hums, and I smile because my heart is so full. He rubs my lower lip with his thumb and pulls it down gently.
“I love you,” he says.
I look up and smile. “I love you, too, and that was…”
“Everything,” he says against my lips.
“And more,” I whisper.
“We need a shower,” he says behind a groan. I giggle into his chest and take a deep breath, sighing.
“You already had a shower.”
He chuckles darkly. “Yeah, and then you went and got me all dirty.”
I sit up to look at him, frowning. “Who is calling who dirty?” I grumble.
Kai pulls me back into his chest and says, “Did you hear me complaining?”
“No,” I mumble against his skin.
“Good, because I consider it a badge of honor.”
“You’re full of it.”
“I’m pretty sure it’s the opposite.”
“Ew, gross!” I slap his chest, and he laughs, feigning hurt where I hit him. The baby monitor sparks to life with Theo’s cries, and I sigh, dropping my head on his chest.
“Do you want me to get him?” Kai asks.
I nod, and he kisses my shoulder before hopping out of bed. I grab Kai’s t-shirt and pull it over my head, fixing my pillows so I can lean against the headboard. A minute later, Kai comes in with Theo against his chest and, of course, he’s not crying anymore.
Kai hands him to me, and I lift my shirt, cradling Theo to my breast. Kai looks down at us, smiling. He throws himself next to me, watching me feed him, and rests his head on the pillow as he leaves his hand on my thigh.
Theo sleepily drinks, and his little hand grips a section of my hair, holding on to it. I lean back against the headboard, waiting for him to finish as my eyes drop.
I gasp, and my eyes spring open as I feel Theo coming out of my arms. Kai has him in his large hands, perfectly safe.
“He’s asleep again,” Kai whispers, putting him in his bassinet beside the bed.
I press my hand against my chest, willing my heart not to burst out of my chest.
“Hey, it’s okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. You were asleep.”
I puff out a breath and drop back against the headboard. “That scared the crap out of me. I thought I dropped him.”
He throws himself over me and pulls me into his body. “You would never, mi amor,“ he says. “Sleep. He will probably wake you up again in four hours.” I hug him back and fall asleep to the sound of his steady, strong heartbeat.