Find Me in July (Mesa Boys)

Chapter 15

fifteen

T roy sat on the bed in the van just outside the cabins, watching Jessie slide the door shut in the dark. Anticipation wound his gut tight. This was it.

Jessie crept across the shag carpeting, his boom box in one hand and canvas bag in the other. He sat next to Troy and gazed at him. “I’ve been thinking about this all day.”

“Me, too.” Troy shimmied his shirt off and tossed it to the floor. But he was thinking about more than sex.

Jessie’s breath caught and he adjusted his shorts.

Troy peeked at Jessie’s groin, his erection straining against the inside of his tan corduroy shorts. “Just take them off.” He unfastened Jessie’s shorts and rubbed his fingers over his hard cock through the fabric of his underwear.

Jessie released a choked moan. “Wait a minute.” He hit the play button on the boom box and set it down. Breakdown by Tom Petty started playing softly. He turned to him, smirking, then pulled a small tub of ice cream and a spoon out of the canvas bag. “Take all your clothes off.”

Lust jolted through Troy’s body. His heart stammered. He was really going to do this. With a low chuckle, he slid his shorts and underwear down his legs and kicked them off, then lay on his back on the bed, his cock already jutting toward his navel. He brought his arms up and rested his head on his hands.

Jessy set the ice cream tub down for a moment and undressed, then peeled off the lid on the ice cream, licking his lips. “Ready?”

Troy lifted a corner of his mouth. “Ready. But be careful, it’s cold.” A shiver raced over his spine.

Jessie climbed over him, sitting on Troy’s thighs, then scooped a spoonful of ice cream and placed it next to Troy’s navel.

Troy freed a choked gasp, jerking his hips.

Jessie bent down and lapped at the ice cream, bringing it close to Troy’s cock, then licked it over the head.

“Oh, fuck...” Hot and cold slipped over Troy’s shaft, followed by the sweet friction of Jessie’s tongue and the suction of his mouth. He rolled his hips, pulses of sensation pooling in his sac. “Don’t stop. That feels amazing.” More cold landed on his groin, then glided over his hard cock, followed by heat, and licking.

Jessie panted over Troy’s shaft, then placed a scoop of ice cream on his chest and slid it to his nipple with his tongue.

Cold heat surrounded Troy’s nipple, followed by sucking and the flicking of Jessie’s tongue. As pleasure surged from his nipple to his cock, he moaned and arched his back. This was good, but he wanted Jessie’s mouth on his dick. He pressed on Jessie’s shoulders. “I like it better down there.”

Jessie licked and nibbled his way down Troy’s stomach, put a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth, peeking at him, then devoured his cock in one long, slow suck, pressing the ice cream to his shaft.

“Oh, fuck.” Heat and cold shuddered through Troy’s cock. He thrust his hips and groaned.

Jessie whimpered and stopped, then lifted his head. “I have to wait a minute.” Jessie drew heavy breaths, his hips squirming over Troy.

Troy peered down at him. “Why?”

“I think I’m going to come if I keep doing this.” Jessie bit his lip, creasing his forehead.

“I’m not even touching you.” Troy lifted his brows. He can’t stop now. It’s too good.

Jessie rose to sit on Troy’s thighs, his solid cock dribbling pre-cum down his shaft. “I’m sorry. I’m too turned on.”

“Let’s switch.” Troy lifted on his elbows.

They shifted on the bed and Jessie lay on his back, handing Troy the ice cream tub and spoon.

Troy hovered over Jessie’s hips and scooped ice cream out of the tub, then placed it on his groin.

Jessie sucked in a strangled breath. “Fuck, it’s cold.”

With a snicker, Troy licked the ice cream to Jessie’s shaft and slid it over, lapping and sucking, swirling the head, diving his tongue into the slit.

“Shit, I’m coming.” Jessie’s body shuddered and his face tensed.

Troy devoured his cock, sucking on the way down, licking on the way up, swallowing his cum with each pulse of his orgasm. As it slowed, he tipped his head. “You’re coming again. There is no way you’re done.”

Jessie chuckled. “Maybe I should have jerked off in the shower this afternoon, so I’d be ready for this.”

Troy lay over him, his forearms around his head, gazing deeply into his eyes. He rocked his hips, gliding his hard cock over Jessie’s groin. Sensation pulsated up his shaft. He freed a sharp groan. “Haven’t you ever done something like this with anyone?”

“No, never.” Jessie widened his eyes. “Have you?”

“Not with ice cream. Whipped cream...” Troy stifled a snicker, remembering a drunken night with a girl in a dorm room. Where they’d gotten the idea for the whipped cream, he couldn’t remember.

Jessie huffed. “I don’t want to hear it. In fact, you should have lied.”

Troy pressed his lips to Jessie’s slipping his tongue inside to skim over Jessie’s for a moment. “Why don’t you want to hear about it?” Jessie was jealous and he’d make him admit it.

“Why would I want to hear about kinky things you do with chicks?” Jessie furrowed his brows.

“I don’t know, why wouldn’t you?” Troy placed a long, deep kiss over his mouth, grinding his cock on him. “Would it make you happier if you were my only one ever?”

“Yes.” Jessie rounded his eyes. “I mean, I don’t know what I mean.”

Troy grinned. As far as he was concerned, that was an admission. “You owe me still.” He rolled to his back and lifted his knees. “I want more than ice cream, though.”

With a smirk, Jessie sat up and put the ice cream away, then pulled out the Vaseline and a towel. He held up the Vaseline. “We’re moving on to round two, right?”

“Yeah.” Desire quivered up Troy’s spine. He was going to see what it was like to have real sex with Jessie. He grabbed the towel and placed it under his ass. “Messy, huh?”

“Yeah.” Jessie chuckled, lifted the lid off the Vaseline and dipped his fingers in it, then set it down and lay next to him. As he claimed his mouth in deep kisses, he edged his fingers around his entrance, then snuck a slick finger inside.

Burning, then pressure filled Troy. He rocked his hips in time with his driving finger.

Jessie pressed his cock, now half-mast, against his thigh, sliding his tongue over Troy’s in a tangled dance.

Pleasure pulsed inside Troy, twitching his cock, dribbling pre-cum onto his stomach. As Jessie’s finger rubbed his internal bundle of nerves over and over, he freed sharp moans each time and his thighs quivered. “Fuck, that’s good.”

Jessie added a second finger, kissing and nibbling down his neck, then sucking on his earlobe, thrusting his hard cock against him. “You like that?”

“Yeah. Do it, Jess.” As sensation coiled inside his gut, he wrapped his arms around Jessie’s shoulders, urging him to lie over him.

Jessie hovered over him, pulled his fingers out, then placed the head of his cock at his entrance. He brushed a hand over Troy’s cheek. “You sure you want this?” He rocked his hips, his eyes hooding with lust, the tip of his cock nudging into him.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” Troy gazed deeply into his eyes. His heart beat in a frantic rhythm. It’s about to happen. We’re going to make love.

As Jessie slowly entered him, he tensed his brows and dropped his mouth open, taking a shuddering inhale.

Heat and pressure filled Troy. He sucked in a breath.

“You okay?” Jessie snuck a hand between them and stroked Troy’s cock, brushing his lips over Troy’s.

Sensation surged from Troy’s cock to his sac. He creased his brows. “I’m okay. Keep going.”

Jessie pulled out and then rocked in, his body quivering. “Damn, you feel good.” As he sped up his pace, he moaned against his neck. “Oh, God.”

Troy lifted his legs and hooked them around Jessie’s waist, making Jessie’s cock rub his bundle of nerves. Pleasure jolted through him, over and over. He cried out and arched his head.

Jessie further quickened his pace, thrusting his hips, pumping his hand over Troy’s shaft, gasping.

Release swelled inside Troy with a rush of sensation. “Shit, I’m coming.” As wave after wave rolled over him, he curled his toes and dug his fingers into Jessie’s sides. He freed a sharp moan, his cum erupting between them, shooting onto his chest.

Jessie thrust hard, paused, then thrust again. “I’m coming.” He cried out, holding tightly to Troy’s shoulders, burying his face in his neck. As it slowed, he drew deep breaths against his chest.

Troy’s heart swelled with emotion. He lowered his legs and hugged Jessie tight, then placed a solid kiss on his head. “Jess, I love you.” He bit his lip, tears stinging his eyes. The emotion intensified and he strengthened his hold. “I love you, so much.” A tear rolled down his cheek. Fuck, why am I crying? He sniffled.

Jessie lifted his head. “Um...” He glanced at the front of the van, then focused on him, his eyes glassy. “Troy...” He placed a long kiss on his lips, then wiped his eyes. “I-I don’t know what to say.” His breath hitched. “Fuck.” He climbed off him and sat on the edge of the couch, placing his face in his hands.

“Jessie.” Troy sat up, letting the towel catch the remnants of their lovemaking, and placed a hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

In a wavering voice, Jessie said, “We can’t keep doing this. You know that, right?” He swiped at his eyes and sniffled.

“Why not?” An ache wrapped around Troy’s heart and squeezed. I said it . It was supposed to make Jessie stay, not whatever this was.

Jessie faced him, his eyes wet. “You want to be a teacher someday. An elementary school teacher. You can’t be gay and do that.”

“So what? I have a year of, of school still. Who knows what will happen by then?” Pain laced through this chest. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Why was he thinking about things so far in the future? “B-but, we still have today. We still have the rest of this month, right?”

“I... yeah. I guess so.” Jessie creased his forehead and placed his hand on Troy’s cheek. “We’ll always have July, Troy.” A tear plunged down his face. He rested his forehead on Troy’s. In a soft voice, he said, “Always.” He sniffled.

Troy took a hard swallow over the lump in his throat. “Okay, s-so...”

“We should clean up and go to bed.” Jessie freed him and crept to the tissue box between the seats, then wiped himself off and got dressed.

Troy sat still, staring into the van. What just happened? Jessie was supposed to say he loved him back. They should be cuddling and smiling and happy right now. In fact, Jessie should be telling him he’d stay here with him and not go to New York. They were supposed to find a way to make it work out. Here.

“Troy, please. Don’t make this harder.” Jessie shut off the boom box and placed the Vaseline and ice cream tub into the canvas bag. He flashed his eyes at Troy. “I have to go. I’m sorry.” Jessie slid the door of the van open, then grabbed his things, and left, shutting the door behind him.

Troy kept staring, a void where the earlier emotion was. What was he supposed to do now? Did I just lose him? No, it can’t be. He got emotional, too. He has feelings for me. Then why did he leave like that, and why the fuck was he talking about him being a teacher? Like that had anything to do with it. He drew a deep breath. He should clean up and go to bed. He’d find Jessie in the morning. They could clear things up then. Obviously, Jessie was misunderstanding something.

Troy stomped through the weedy area between the cabins in morning sunshine. He and Jessie needed to talk. Whatever had happened last night was clearly a misunderstanding. He glanced at Jessie’s blue Trans Am, parked next to his parent’s white Seville. Jessie was home, at least. He reached the door on Jessie’s cabin, raised his fist, and knocked.

Nate opened the door and stood in the opening, frowning. “Hi, Troy.”

“I need to see Jessie.” Troy shifted his weight, tapping his fingers on his thigh. The sooner he could smooth things over, the sooner they could go do something together.

“Sorry, Jessie’s sick today.” Nate gnawed on his lower lip.

Troy lifted his brows. “Sick with what?” He pressed on the door and stepped closer to Nate.

Nate straightened his spine and held the door in place. “He doesn’t want to be bothered. He’s sleeping.”

Troy furrowed his brows and rubbed his neck, searching around him. How could he get to Jessie? He focused on him. “Nate, listen. I need to see him, okay? You need to let me in. I don’t care if he’s sleeping.”

Nate pursed his lips, then glanced behind him. In a low voice, he said, “He doesn’t want to see you, okay? He’s...” Nate walked out the door, then shut it behind him. “What did you two fight about?”

Troy widened his eyes. “Fight about? Nothing.” He held his hands out. Why would Jessie think they were fighting? “Did he tell you we got in a fight?”

Nate twisted his mouth. “No, but the last time he was like this, you two got in a fight.”

“What do you mean, like this?” Troy thought back to the night he’d left Jessie standing in the woods. It couldn’t be that bad. “Tell me, Nate. This is important.”

Nate huffed. “He was crying last night. I could hear it. He won’t talk to me.” He grit his teeth. “What did you do to my brother?”

“I didn’t do anything.” Besides tell him I love him. Troy’s chest tightened. Why would that upset him so much? Something was not right. Something was very wrong. He wrinkled his brows. “Nate, listen, you need to let me in. I need to see him.” He studied him. “Please, Nate.”

“I’ll tell him you were here, and you need to see him, okay? I can’t let you in. I don’t want him to hate me.” Nate pressed his lips together. “I’m sorry. I’ll... do my best to make him talk to you.” He turned, opened the door, and went into the cabin, shutting the door with a soft click.

Troy knit his brows together and scrubbed his head with his fingers. What the hell was going on? He growled and kicked at a rock, flinging it against the front tire of the Trans Am. “Fuck.” As pain wrapped around his heart, tears pooled in his eyes. This could be bad. He probably should have kept his fucking mouth shut. But how was he to know that Jessie would react like this? Don’t gay people say I love you to each other?

Troy stomped back to his cabin, went inside, and walked past his mother, cleaning breakfast dishes at the sink. “Going out with Jessie today?”

“I don’t know.” He jogged into the bedroom and threw himself on his bed, burying his face in a pillow. Pain spread through his chest. In a soft, ragged voice, he said, “Fuck, this hurts.” Maybe Nate could talk Jessie into seeing him. Please, Nate, you have to help me.

Troy ambled through the kitchen of his quiet and empty cabin and peered out the window over the sink, overlooking the drive. An empty spot sat next to the Smiths’ Cadillac Seville. “Fuck.” A flash of pain ripped through his chest, and he winced. Jessie had left. He’d left and hadn’t come by to talk to him. Where would he have gone? Maybe he had to run an errand for his mother. Maybe he’d left for home . But why would he do that? Why was he acting like this? They should be out somewhere together enjoying their last week up here and making plans for whatever they’d be doing in Minneapolis.

“Fuck this.” He scowled, opened the refrigerator door, and grabbed a beer. After pulling it open, he chugged the whole thing down, then crumpled the can and tossed it in the trash at the end of the kitchen island. He’d need more. He had to have something to numb the pain. He grabbed another beer out of the refrigerator, then walked out the door and to the back patio, taking a seat on an iron patio chair. He looked out over the lake in the afternoon sun, making speckles of light between the leaves on the trees overhead. Last time he’d sat here, it was with Jessie, and they’d been happy.

A car engine sounded from the front of the cabins and a car door opened and shut.

Troy’s heart lurched. Was that Jessie? He jumped up and sped to the porch stairs, searching the area between the cabins.

Donna waltzed to the front door, stopped, then peered at him, furrowing her brows. “Troy?”

“Yeah?” He released a heavy sigh and slumped his shoulders.

“I’m getting a beer and I’ll be right out.” She went inside the cabin.

He stepped to his seat at the table and sat down. Maybe she had some news about Jessie from Nate. If she did, it better be good news.

She rounded the corner of the cabin, a can of beer in her hand, then sat on the chair opposite him, her blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail. She looked out over the view of the lake. “So, what happened?”

“With?” He glanced at her. He knew what she was talking about, but he had to be sure.

She turned and set her forearms on the table. “With you and Jessie. Why is he off somewhere while you’re sitting here?”

“Do we have to spend every second together?” He clenched his jaw. He wasn’t used to talking to her about things like this. Though maybe it was time he did. “I’m sorry.” She was the only one who knew what was going on.

She lifted her chin. “Okay, so talk.” She watched him, twisting her beer can.

“I-I don’t know what happened.” As an ache grew in his chest, he frowned. He had to hold it together. “Jess won’t talk to me after last night.”

“What happened last night? You had the van, did you fight?” She sipped her beer.

He slowly shook his head. “No, we didn’t fight. But I uh...” As he peeked at her, his vision clouded. He swiped at his eyes. Could he say it out loud and not fall apart? He drew a deep inhale. “I told him I love him and now he won’t talk to me.”

Her mouth dropped open. “You told him you love him?” She raised her brows. “Holy shit, Troy. You’re in love?”

“Yes.” He pinched his mouth and shushed her. Maybe she was the wrong person to talk to.

She cocked her head. “So, why won’t he talk to you? What happened after you said that? You have to tell me everything.” She leaned her chest against the table.

With an inhale, he tipped his head back. “He said something about me being a teacher and that I can’t be gay and do that. But I’m not gay . I’m bisexual.” He shook his head, focusing on his beer. “I don’t fucking know. And then he left the van and now he won’t talk to me, and I have no fucking idea where he is.”

She leaned back in her chair, bringing her fingers to her lips. “Well, I don’t think he went home, at least. Nate would have told me when I saw him at the beach with Mark.”

“You were at the beach?” He studied her.

“Yeah, Jake and I went down there, but Jessie wasn’t there.” She drank some beer. “In fact, Nate didn’t say anything about him.” She squinted. “It was weird, because usually he talks about him, but not today. Not a word.”

“But Nate would have said something to you if Jess had gone home suddenly, right?” He took a few gulps of beer, the pain his chest strengthening.

“Maybe you shocked him.” She freed a soft chuckle. “Maybe he wasn’t expecting you to say that, and he just needs some time.”

“Time for what?” He scoffed. Why would Jessie do this to him? He must have some idea that leaving like that would be hurtful.

“Maybe he doesn’t want to admit to himself that he feels that same way.” She glanced at him. “He does, you know. I could see it in the way he looked at you when we were at Gooseberry Island yesterday.”

“Yeah, sure.” He fingered his beer. She was probably just saying that to make him feel better.

“Troy, I’m sure he’ll come around. You two have been friends forever. There is no way he is going to up and break this thing off that you two have. No way.” She shook her head. “I’m sure he just needs time.”

“I hope you’re right.” He gazed at her. It wasn’t half bad talking to her. Who knew?