Find Me : The Poison Ivy Series Book One

Chapter 17

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My body is on fire.

I can feel the red-hot lava pumping through my veins, and no matter how quickly I try to draw oxygen into my lungs, I can’t catch my breath. I look around, unsure of how I got home, when I stopped dancing, and what I had taken to get me to this point. The only thing I remember is Rhett carrying me up the stairs to my apartment, dumping my purse in the hallway and picking up my keys, letting us into the apartment before unceremoniously dumping me on the couch.

The sweat on my skin sticks to the couch beneath me as I try to roll over, only to glimpse Rhett doing lines in the kitchen, oblivious as I lay here struggling to breathe.

I look around my apartment, noticing how the shadows on the walls appear to dance, how everything around me seems to move quickly, yet I lay here feeling as though I am moving in slow motion. My brain and my body struggle to connect, something getting lost in translation as I try to move, try to call out to Rhett, but remain stuck here motionless watching the room swirl around me at lightning-fast speed.

I have no concept of time as I remain trapped in this nightmare, my mind and body disconnected and refusing to cooperate. I am hyper-focused on trying to align them, but I am paralyzed, unable to move.

Finally, Rhett comes and stands beside me, his face looming over my own.

“You look like you’re going through it right now.” He laughs.

“Rhett, what did I take? I can’t catch my breath…” I start, but breathing feels difficult as I gasp for air.

“You’ll be fine, Evi. You just went a little hard tonight, that’s all.”

“What did you give me?”

“Like usual Evi, I didn’t give you anything you didn’t ask for,” he responds, a flare of anger in his voice. “You forgot to pace yourself, once again, and now you’re here.” He gestures towards me.

All at once, shame and disappointment threaten to drag me under, and I find it harder to breathe as the chasm within me breaks open, and my breathing becomes labored.

“Rhett, I think I need to go to the hospital…”

“Always so dramatic, Evi,” he says dismissively. “You just need some fresh air.”

He hoists me up and half drags me onto my balcony. I catch my reflection in the glass doors as he opens them. I look as bad as I feel.

I slump onto the cold cement of my balcony as Rhett places me on the ground, my skin suddenly freezing as my sweat meets the cold wind.

Just breathe, I tell myself silently. Take a breath and breathe.

It doesn’t help, and the corners of my vision start to go black as my body begins to feel heavy, and the pounding of my heart becoming so loud it drowns out the noise of the city around us.

“You always like to go hard,” Rhett’s says, his voice distant.

“Rhett, I don’t feel good…” I say again.

Why isn’t he understanding what I’m saying? Am I not speaking out loud?

“I don’t feel good Rhett, something is wrong…” I try again, forcing myself to speak as loudly as I can, but hearing barely a whisper. I want to scream, but instead tears stream down my face.

“Evi, just calm down, you’ll be fine in a minute. Just take a breath and wait it out, the drugs will wear off eventually.”

“I think I took too much. I need…” I trail off, not actually knowing what I need. I don’t know what will make it better, what will extinguish the fire inside my veins, and make it all hurt less.

“I need the hospital, Rhett,” I whisper, as my heart begins to beat at a speed I’ve never experienced before.

“You know I can’t do that, Evi,” he starts, not even entertaining my request.

“I don’t feel good. Take me to the hospital… please,” I beg as the tears fall faster down my cheeks, my hands trembling as my body starts to grow cold.

“You know I can’t take you to the hospital. What do you think would happen if someone saw me dropping off an overdosing junkie at the emergency room? I can’t have that on my reputation. You’ll be fine, just take a breath.”

“Just help me Rhett, no one will know…” I hear a phone ring in the distance, wishing I had mine beside me so I could call someone to help me.

“I am helping you Evi, why can’t you see that? If you just listen to me and take a breath, you’ll be fine.”

I try harder to breathe, but I’m unable to get any more air into my lungs, feeling as though I’m drowning on solid ground. The world around me starts to go black, and a weird numbness grows in my chest, slowly spreading to the rest of my body.

It doesn’t hurt anymore.I’m not sure if the words make it past my lips.

“Christ, Evi, you’re fine, just get up and walk it off. No need to be dramatic about it.”

I don’t even want to get up and walk now that I’ve found relief from the fire that was lapping at my skin. I just want to lay here for a while longer, the numbness providing relief from everything I’m feeling.

A moment later, the balcony door slams shut and Rhett’s voice no longer tries to convince me to breathe.

The last thing I remember is hearing a loud banging sound before the world around me goes quiet and I feel myself sink deep into my own body.