Finding Home (Build-A-Pack #2)

Chater Eleven

Rian

C hristmas was a lovely, warm affair among the pack. Cindy enjoyed attacking all the wrapping paper we put in a pile for her. None of us had used any ribbon in our wrappings, so she could play without us having to supervise for accidental ingestion.

When Holden noticed it, he got the look on his face that told everyone he didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, he was touched, and he was still a little bit in awe of having such a loving pack around him.

Feeding from him had been… different. He tasted nothing like Hunter, thank the universe, nor had he felt anything like his twin. The life Holden had lived had changed him enough that nothing about him was familiar until I opened my eyes to look into his, and saw the same exact shade of blue his brother had had. Even still, he was not the same person, or even the other side of the coin. He was uniquely Holden, with the smallest hints of his twin in his expressions and body language.

The echoes of my beloved in Holden were enough to both remind me they had shared a womb and to keep me from being confused between two men who hadn’t lived at the same time in forty years.

As I sat on the plane, on my way to Seattle, I kept thinking about our pack celebrations to distract myself.

I was wearing a clearly home-knitted scarf that clashed horribly with my expensive and stylish black peacoat I’d stashed in the overhead bin. The scarf, a present from Carys she’d worked on in secret for weeks as she learned, was soft and not at all scratchy, and it smelled like the pack so I couldn’t make myself take it off.

It was a bit uneven and wonky in places, but I loved it. Hell, maybe it was a metaphor for the people of our pack, too. We were all a bit… wonky. In different ways. Yet we still loved each other dearly.

The colors she’d chosen were black, dark gray, and blood red. I kept running my fingers through the black fringe, enjoying the sensation.

Max had shyly told everyone that he was trying to learn how to crochet, because it calmed his mind to listen to music or watch something he’d seen before while working with his hands. Then he’d immediately said that he could also do it while studying, as if we’d question him.

Ben’s expression had been pained, but he’d hidden it from his brother. I knew he worried about Max and his inability to relax and trust that we’d love him the way he was and that there were no schedules we were putting on him.

I was more worried for Ben himself. He was working a lot and when he was home, he took on his duties as a beta and Max’s big brother a bit too seriously. They both needed to unwind, but in different ways, because they were different people, as much as we treated them as one unit most of the time.

The flight wasn’t too long at around five hours and some change. I didn’t mind flying, but it gave me too much time to think.

Luckily, I’d managed to get hold of Luca and urged him to see a doctor while he was in Europe. He needed to be seen by a proper medical professional who wasn’t tied to their record label like all the other staff around the band.

Kaiju made the label a lot of money, and during the years I’d known Luca, I’d often thought that they were more interested in their income than taking good care of their precious cash cow. It was short sighted, but a part of me wondered if the record companies expected it. Maybe they’d gotten careless, thinking they didn’t need to keep an eye on a group as easy as Luca and his bandmates who rarely acted out and didn’t do drugs.

Or hadn’t done drugs. Holden had been right. Luca had told me someone in the crew had given Mila and Will something a few months back, and apparently that had kickstarted it all.

There were talks of rehab after the tour, but I’d gotten the impression Luca was scared that was still too far away.

He’d also told me he was coughing some and feeling winded more easily. Singing had become harder, so he practiced more, which led to his voice breaking sometimes. It was still barely noticeable, he said, because his voice was a bit rough and gravelly anyway. But those high notes? Yeah. I could tell he was worried about it all, but the label didn’t want to disrupt the tour any more than their little vacation time already would.

They were due to fly back to Japan on the thirtieth, and I hoped he would have the chance to see a doctor before that. Right now, he was hiding somewhere in Scotland with his handler Marissa, who was a no-nonsense type of vampire who was more of a big sister to him than anything.

I’d met her through video calls a few times over the years, and it was clear she was very torn between loving Luca and wanting what was best for him and Kaiju and being on the label’s payroll. At least she was in her late eighties—years wise, she’d been turned at thirty—and had a good head on her shoulders based on what Luca had told me.

I watched as the plane began the descent, and took in a deep breath of the slightly stale air. It was time to go back to my old life, even if temporarily. The dread suddenly squeezing my lungs was familiar, like a neighbor you still hated when you got back home from a vacation.

I had a condo in the Pike Place Market neighborhood. I loved the place, but when the uber dropped me off in front of the building, I felt as if I was visiting, not coming home.

As I walked into the lobby, Sandy perked up behind her counter.

“Mr. Flynn!” She beamed at me. “It’s so nice to see you. I trust you’ve been well?”

I went to lean over the desk and took her hand, then kissed the back of it. “You know it, Sandy dearest.”

She blushed lightly. A fifty-something human, she’d worked the building’s security for fifteen years, and being a former police officer, she was a no-nonsense type and very good at her job. Looking at her, she was a soccer mom in a uniform, but beneath the surface was steel.

She did have a soft spot for those who treated her and the rest of the building’s staff well, though.

“Thank you so much for the Christmas bonus, Mr. Flynn,” she said with emotion that was a bit unlike her.

“Is everything okay?” I peered at her, trying to read her expression.

She tried to hide her tears, but one rolled down her cheek and she shook her head, dislodging another one.

“No, not really. My grandbaby is very ill.”

“Little Noah? Oh no,” I said with feeling.

There was a picture of the toddler hidden out of view on her side of the desk.

“They think it’s c-cancer,” she sobbed out the words.

I’d known her long enough that I also knew her family was very much blue collar. There was no way either of Noah’s parents had insurance good enough for a battle with pediatric cancer.

“Sandy? With your permission, can I make some calls? Find the best doctor I can for Noah?” I didn’t tell her I would pay for everything. She knew me, too.

Fifteen minutes later, I had briefly spoken with her daughter, and we had a tentative plan. At least it kept me from having time to panic yet.

I headed upstairs with my weekend bag. My housekeeper would collect my mail every day, so I probably had some to go through as well. There’d be enough things to keep me distracted. I hoped.

My place was half typical condo and half something… warmer. There was a literal fireplace, which I adored, and while there was more room than I’d needed, I could see the Great Wheel, the giant Ferris wheel, from my bed if I propped myself up on some pillows.

I hadn’t been back for a while, but it all looked as if I’d left yesterday.

After kicking off my shoes and hanging my coat and scarf in the closet by the door, I walked to the bedroom and opened the curtains. The waters of Elliott Bay looked choppy, which made a shiver run through my body.

There was no snow. I found myself missing it for some reason. Seeing the wolves frolicking around in the white stuff at home had become one of my favorite things.

Sighing, I grabbed my phone and went to sit on the daybed that, like my bed, looked over the view.

Making this call was easy. I just hated that I had to make it in the first place.

“Rian? To what do I owe the honor?” Lauren, an old friend, snarked.

“A toddler with cancer,” I deadpanned.

I heard her cuss under her breath. “What do you need?”

Lauren was a family law attorney who worked for the rich and famous. She was also someone I’d met when I’d worked with a support group for newly turned vampires in the early nineties.

We’d never been super close, both because her ambition didn’t allow for much free time, but I’d been her sponsor in vampirism instead of alcoholism—her words, not mine—since we’d met. I’d also paid off her student loans so she had an easier life while she built up her career.

I gave her free rein with Sandy’s family. Whatever they needed, no matter the cost. Then I gave her all the contact information, and she promised she’d contact them now and find the best doctors possible for Noah.

I quickly emailed my finance team and told them I wanted to donate more money to causes that supported families such as Noah’s. They’d make it happen. By now they were all used to my “whims” on how I spent my money.

When I looked at the time, I had four more hours before I had to be at the event.

Gritting my teeth, I rolled my shoulders, trying to decide on what to do. I wanted to call Moses, but Brodie had told me he’d take care of it for me. Moses would be waiting for my call after the event.

That was something, at least.

I texted Grant, my friend who was in charge of organizing the event. He was “knee deep in floral arrangements and twinks,” meaning the waitstaff. I promised to see him fifteen minutes before the doors opened, and walked over to my closet.

I used my money for things other than clothing. I had a practical car that was nice but not flashy. I also dressed in designer clothes which were somewhere in the middle of the price range. I couldn’t make myself dress into something costing more than a regular person’s yearly wages.

I didn’t do watches, because I didn’t see the point. I had some jewelry, but didn’t really like that, either. While I had a personal shopper I could call in a pinch, she hated the fact that I refused to buy a few new suits for every season.

Tonight, I needed to look good. Even though I’d asked Grant to organize everything for me, I would need to get on the stage to talk about why my name was attached to this particular event.

The circles of filthy rich people were surprisingly small. Whether you went for the ones who still had compassion for these causes or those who just wanted to be able to say they did, you needed to know these people and frankly, I knew them all.

I had a reputation of being a bit flamboyant, witty, and fiercely intelligent—I’d heard people describe me in those terms several times in the last decade when they thought I wasn’t in hearing distance—and they loved to give me money. It meant they would open their checkbooks for the causes I suggested they should support.

I went through the row of suits in my closet as I thought about everything my life had become.

I was back in my apartment I’d called home for over a decade. I was doing what I’d done for nearly as long. Once, I’d gotten so much satisfaction out of this work. Nothing was better than getting rich people to give away their money, after all.

Well, no. The best thing was helping those who needed it. In this case, it was all the same, though. I would be making sure people who needed rehab could afford it, because I would be sweet-talking my peers all evening.

Finally, a suit caught my eye. It was a black Alexander McQueen, one I hadn’t worn in a while. There was a delicate pattern of flowers printed on it in the shape of a harness. It was gorgeous, and it was exactly what I would need to get through tonight.

Once I had that sorted, I still had way too much time on my hands. So I sent a message to one of my regular donors, because I could use the top up. He agreed to come over within half an hour, so I went out to my balcony to look at the view.

I loved the fact that on a nice, clear day, I could see from Mt. Rainier to the Olympic Mountains. I adored sitting here in the summer, enjoying the bustle below.

Everything about this condo was just as lovely as when I’d bought it twelve years ago.

And now it didn’t feel like home anymore.

I texted Brodie that I was going to get ready soon. Then I sent a message to Holden to say the same.

Brodie’s text came through fast.

Wear something nice and send us a picture. Tell Grant I said hi.

The message to Holden went unread, and for some reason I felt a bit upset. Had he said he was working tonight? Probably. I’d forgotten in the face of what I was about to have to do again.

I had gotten a drink. I was dressed to the nines. My curls were looking awesome and my suit fit me like a glove. The blood had helped my nerves somewhat, it was as if my system was more into digesting than freaking out right at the moment.

I called a car, made my way to the venue, and snuck in through the side door Grant had instructed me to use.

I walked through the corridor and opened the door into the venue proper. It looked stunning. Everything was gorgeous. The flowers were fancy but not too extravagant or pretentious. I stopped in the doorway, then stepped aside when someone hustled past me.

Yeah, it was safe to say Grant had had fun and tonight would be a success. Well, if I wouldn’t flip out again.

I squared my shoulders and—“Omigod, Rian!”

Before I could move, I was enveloped in a hug that squeezed the breath out of me. I patted Grant’s back and got him to let me go.

“You look stun- ning !” he exclaimed, then twirled so that the… whatever he was wearing flared around him.

“You look gorgeous as well, darling,” I told him, and he gave me a coquettish little half-curtsey, and then gestured around.

“Doesn’t it look great?” Then he quickly looked at me, worry filling his gaze. “I mean, it does, right?”

I smiled and put my hand on his arm. “It’s amazing. I couldn’t have done half of this, Grant. It’s… perfect.”

He relaxed visibly, then beamed at me, brushing his long hair behind one ear. “Okay, okay, I need to go do one more round and then go fix my makeup, but I’ll be with you when the doors open!”

“Aaand off he goes,” I murmured, watching as my friend vanished from view.

I loved Grant. He was a human I’d met during one of these things, and he’d wanted to be an event planner instead of living on his rich mother’s money like he had been. After listening to him talk about what he’d do differently for one whole season of these things, I’d given him a loan and told him to prove himself.

He had, of course, and while he’d only been in full business for over a year, he was highly sought after for everything but weddings—he despised those.

My phone buzzed in my pocket.

It was Brodie.

You can do this, sweetness.

I smiled and swallowed to get rid of the knot forming in my throat.

Walking to the front of the space to stand a little ways away from the door where people would start arriving through, I took in deep, measured breaths.

The calm, light music flowing through hidden speakers was loud enough for humans to hear but not disturbing to the wolves and vampires. I tried to concentrate on it for a moment.

Okay, it was showtime.

Grant materialized at my elbow. He squeezed me to his side briefly. He knew I’d had some… issues during the last year of these things and that tonight might be a lot for me.

“You can do this,” he echoed Brodie’s sentiment, and I could only hope they were right.

I plastered a smile on my face and beamed at the first person through the doors.

“Camilla! How lovely to see you!”

An hour later, I stood in the wings and tried not to shake apart. It was time to go on the stage to talk to the two hundred and fifty people sitting at tastefully decorated tables, waiting for me to give them the gist of what they were there for before digging into their dinners.

I’d done this for events other people had organized a dozen times before. I was good at this. Yet somehow, right then, my bones vibrated with unease and my lungs had trouble expanding.

“And here’s our man of the evening, Rian Flynn!”

The clapping started, and I took in as deep a breath as I could, and hoped I didn’t look like I was about to fall apart as I stepped onto the stage and accepted the microphone from the MC.