Chapter 15
Hope
T he soft hum of the ceiling fan overhead was the only sound in the room as I began packing up my mother’s belongings. I looked at her, fast asleep in the single bed, as I moved silently around the room .
It was not all bad, though. I was pleased she was starting a new chapter in her life at the center, and she would have access to all the care she needed there.
Pausing for a moment, I sat on the edge of the bed, letting my thoughts drift to the unexpected encounter earlier today. Meeting Hoka at the café was not something I had anticipated, especially not with a baby cradled lovingly in his arms. The sight of the stern yakuza boss playing with his child was nothing short of surreal. I couldn’t help but smile, thinking of the tender way he’d held the baby, the loving gaze he directed at the little one. It was a stark contrast to what one might imagine when thinking of a feared underworld figure.
I found myself wondering about Violet, his wife. Was she traditional or more like me, with dreams and ambitions that stretched beyond family roles? The eagerness and apprehension to meet her on Saturday bubbled inside me.
I toyed with the thin yellow scarf in my hand. The sight of Hoka and his baby made something stir within me. If the boss of the yakuza could find happiness, domesticity, and perhaps even normalcy in the midst of his tumultuous world, then why couldn’t Jiro and I have that future?
He needs to want it, though, the voice in my head whispered, causing a pang of doubt.
The gentle vibration of my phone broke my concentration. Instinctively, I thought it might be Max again, asking if I could cover for him in the morning. I rolled my eyes in advance, preparing to send a half-joking, half-serious reply.
But when I grabbed my phone, my heart did a little flip. It was Jiro.
Are you up?
My brows knitted in confusion as I walked out of the room and closed the door behind me. It was past midnight. I hadn’t even realized how engrossed I’d become in my task, losing track of time. Why would he be texting at this hour?
Yes, packing my mother’s stuff. Is everything okay? I replied, fingers hastily typing out the message.
His response came quickly, causing a fresh wave of anxiety and excitement. Yes. I just want to see you. I’m in front of your building.
The flurry in my stomach felt like I’d swallowed a herd of wild broncos, each one bucking and kicking with anticipation. Without thinking, I rushed to the window, peering down, half expecting to see him looking up. But of course, I couldn’t make out any details from this height.
I hurried to the door, suddenly hyperaware of my appearance. My oversized white shirt had probably seen better days, my yoga pants were not the most flattering, and I could only imagine the state of my hair. But this was Jiro. The man always looked flawless, like he’d walked out of a fashion magazine. And when I opened the door, he didn’t disappoint. There he was in dark blue jeans that fit him just right and a green Henley shirt that made his eyes pop. It wasn’t fair, really.
“My mother is asleep,” I whispered, not wanting to wake her. I motioned for him to follow me into the living room, moving aside some of the boxes to make space. “I’m packing her things for the center. I… Thank you for what you did. I shouldn’t have reacted that way. ”
He exhaled softly, his eyes searching mine. “It’s okay. I probably didn’t handle things the best way either.”
I shook my head, feeling that familiar warmth rush to my cheeks. “No, but your intentions were right. And that means everything.”
Jiro’s towering presence made my already modest apartment feel even smaller. He had a way of consuming space, not just with his size but with the energy he brought with him. It was intimidating and comforting all at once.
I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of worry press on my chest. “What’s going on? Is it Leo? Is he dead?” I asked, my voice trembling slightly.
Jiro’s expression softened, and he looked almost sheepish, a sight I wasn’t accustomed to. “No, nothing happened to Leo,” he said, shaking his head. “I know my timing isn’t ideal, and midnight visits aren’t exactly reassuring.”
He then raised his hand, revealing a paper bag. “I just… I brought you chocolate,” he said, a hint of humor in his eyes.
I blinked in surprise, trying to process this unexpected gesture. From deep concerns about Leo to… chocolate?
I chuckled softly, my nerves now mixed with amusement. “Chocolate, Jiro? At this hour?”
His lips quirked up in a teasing smile. “Thought you might appreciate a little midnight treat. Besides,” he added, glancing at the moving boxes scattered around, “I remember promising you a full box once.”
I opened the box, revealing the luxurious Godiva chocolates inside. Memories flooded back. “You remembered that day with Anna?” I asked, astonished. It was a fleeting moment from years ago when he’d gifted Anna a box, and I’d sneakily eaten a few. Anna had been livid.
His gaze softened, almost making my heart ache. “Every moment,” he whispered.
“What is it?” I asked softly, resting the bag on the console and going to stand in front of him. “Is something wrong with you? Do you want to talk about it?”
He gave me a small smile and brushed his knuckles across my cheek before letting his hand fall to the side. “I couldn’t sleep, and I kept on thinking, what are you going to do now? I mean, once we meet with Valdez.”
“Oh.” I chewed on my bottom lip, not really expecting the question, especially not at this time. I walked to the sofa and gestured for him to join me.
I sat down, waiting for him to do the same before continuing. “Is that what stopped you from sleeping? What will I do once it’s over?”
He shrugged. “Partially.”
Could he have been more cryptic?
I sighed. “Honestly, I don’t know. It’s all so up in the air right now, and not even a few weeks back, it felt like it would always be the same. Things just unraveled so quickly I didn’t even have a chance to think about what my future would look like. ”
Except that I would have wanted it to be with you, I thought, but knew how desperate it would sound if I said it.
He watched me intently, waiting for more.
I leaned back in my seat. “I’ve been so tied down by obligations, it felt like a safety net. But now, with everything changing, it’s daunting. It’s like you and your legacy. You were born into this life.”
He winced slightly, and I immediately regretted my words. “Jiro, I didn’t mean—”
He held up a hand, silencing me. “I know, it’s all good, and I know only too well what you mean. Sometimes, having a set path feels freeing. Without it, the endless possibilities can be paralyzing.”
I blinked, the weight of his words settling in my heart. The room was filled with a heavy silence, punctuated only by the distant hum of the city outside. His midnight appearance, the chocolate, and his probing about my dreams felt disjointed, yet there was an underlying intention that eluded me. It seemed he was searching, not necessarily for clear answers but for insights into my soul.
“I… I don’t know,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve always dreamed of taking art classes, maybe even opening a small studio. And a house by the sea, with a white picket fence, where I can wake up to the sound of waves every morning.” I smiled wistfully, lost in the dream.
As I spoke, I noticed a fleeting shadow cross Jiro’s face, a hint of disappointment or perhaps sadness. Before I could ask him about it, a voice from the other room broke our intimate bubble.
“Anna!” My mother’s voice echoed, her tone urgent.
The moment shattered. Jiro stood up abruptly, his demeanor changing from vulnerable to guarded in an instant. “I should go,” he said, his voice strained. “I’ve kept you up long enough.”
“But, Jiro—” I began, but he placed a finger on my lips, silencing me.
He leaned down, his lips brushing the top of my head in a tender kiss. “Remember, Hope,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion, “no matter where life takes you, always chase the dreams that set your soul on fire.”
And with that, he was gone, leaving me alone in the room with the lingering scent of his cologne and the weight of his words.
“You, Jiro Saito,” I whispered to the empty room, my voice trembling with emotion, “you set my soul and world on fire.” The words hung in the air, a silent testament to a love that was deep, raw, and undeniable. Every fiber of my being ached for him, yearning for the connection we shared.
I stared at the door he’d just closed, wishing he could hear my silent confession, hoping that someday, our souls would find their way back to each other.