Knot Her Reality (Heated Book 3)

Chapter Thirty-three

“Remind me why I thought it was a good idea to have the men go on a date with me on the same night?” I ask, exasperation clear in my tone as I glance around the table at Koda, Jagger, Ronan, and Gavin. “There’s entirely too much testosterone in this room right now.”

Ronan throws his arm over my shoulders as Koda’s hand comes down on my thigh and squeezes. “That’s what you get for splitting me up from my beta.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” I shake my head, hating that we practically have to yell over the music blasting through the club. I don’t know what Koda was thinking by planning a date night at a local club, Eternity. The place is super nice, and we have a VIP area to ourselves, but I can’t hear myself over the music. “Why is it so loud?”

“I can turn down the music,” Koda offers and my eyes narrow.

“You mean to tell me that the music could’ve been turned down at any time?” I keep my words even until he nods. “Then why the hell have we been listening to it so loudly? I’m too old for this shit.”

Koda winces, shooting me a sheepish grin. “Sorry, babe. I didn’t really notice. At the shop, the music is usually pretty loud, so I’m used to it. I’ll take care of it.”

He jumps off the couch and hurries over to the bar. It only takes a moment for the music to lower to a more reasonable level.

“Thank the gods,” I groan as I lean my head back.

Ronan chuckles. “You’re not that damn old, omega. I’ve got a few years on you, and Jagger has even more. Don’t start complaining about how old you are. This isn’t a game you’ll win.”

“Neither will you,” Jagger says with a chuckle. “And then we have Gavin and Koda, who are practically babies compared to us.”

Koda looks less than impressed as he makes his way back over to us. “Definitely not a baby. Babe, let’s dance.”

Wrinkling my nose, I shake my head. “No, thanks.”

“What?” Koda looks horrified that I’ve turned him down. “I know you like to dance.”

I shrug, biting back a smile as his eyes widen. “Yes, I like to dance, but I’m not ready to dance yet. Don’t let that stop you, though.”

“You want me to dance on my own?” He rolls his eyes. “That sounds like loads of fun.”

Ronan pushes to his feet. “Come on, Koda. I’ll dance with you.”

Koda’s whole face lights up as he grabs Ronan’s hand and drags him over to the small dance floor near the floor-to-ceiling windows. I lick my lips as Ronan’s hands land on Koda’s hips, pulling him closer until there’s no room between the two of them. Koda links his arms loosely over Ronan’s shoulder as the two of them move to the music. They look hot as hell as they move together, hips rolling and bodies constantly in contact.

A whimper falls from my lips unbidden. “Maybe I should’ve danced with them.”

Jagger chuckles. “Why, when we can just enjoy the show?”

I shuffle in my seat, trying to ignore the heat blazing through me. I can’t tear my eyes off the two of them.

“Are you feeling needy?” Jagger’s voice is husky against my ear. “I can take care of that for you, if you want.”

Tearing my eyes away from the dance floor, all I can do is blink up at Jagger for a moment as I try to process his words. Understanding sinks into me, and I shake my head. “As amazing as that sounds, I actually want to get to know all of you better. Sex is great, but it muddies up the water.”

Gavin chuckles from my other side, running a hand through my hair as I turn to face him. “You’re stronger than me, omega.”

I laugh nervously, jumping off the couch before clearing my throat. Yeah, having a date at a club was a terrible plan—especially in a secluded VIP area. I want nothing more than to take these men up on their offer, but I also know how easy it would be to sink into my omega needs and desires.

Glancing at the dance floor once more, my eyes almost fall out of my head when I find Koda and Ronan making out. Holy shit, that’s hot. And this is the first time that Koda has expressed interest in someone without me being right there. It’s nice to see, but it’s also not helping to dampen the need rising inside of me.

“I need a drink,” I manage to spit out from my suddenly parched mouth. Without waiting for a response, I head to the bar, fill a glass with water, and down it in one go.

Someone clearing their voice behind me has me spinning around with wide eyes to find Gavin standing there. “Are you okay, Evangeline?”

“Hmmm…yeah, I’m fine. I just…” I wave at the dance floor, then at Jagger, sitting on the couch staring at me. “That’s just a lot, and I’m feeling…”

“Overwhelmed?” He nods slowly when I agree. “Alphas will do that to you—as will betas and omegas. We might come on strong, but you know if you want them to stop something, we will. They’re not that kind of alphas, and I’m not that kind of beta.”

I nod slowly. “I know that, and it’s not like I don’t want to climb on their dicks, but I don’t want it to all be about sex.”

“Then, let’s go back over there and do what you want to do. If they start acting up, just tell them to stop.”

I laugh. “And what about those two?”

Gavin turns to face Ronan and Koda before shrugging. “I don’t think it’s fair to make them stop, so I guess you’ll just have to ignore them.”

“Easier said than done,” I mutter, filling my cup again before following Gavin back to the couch.

“I’m sorry if we overwhelmed you, Evangeline,” Jagger says earnestly. “It definitely wasn’t my intention.”

I wave off his apology. “No. It’s not like I don’t want that. I just don’t want it right now, if that makes sense?”

“Even if it didn’t make sense, we’d still honor that,” Jagger says as he takes my hand in his. “Now, you said something about getting to know each other better. What do you want to know?”

I let out a sigh of relief, leaning back on the couch as we fall into conversation about our likes and dislikes. We talk for hours, Ronan and Koda eventually rejoining us.

Once I’m all talked out, all six of us make our way onto the dance floor and enjoy ourselves. There’s plenty of kissing and grinding, but no one tries to take it any farther, for which I’m eternally grateful.

I’m an omega, and we’re very sexual creatures usually. But choosing a pack is about so much more than sexual chemistry. Yes, it’s an important aspect, but I refuse to be one of those people who only choose their pack based on their omega instincts. I’m more than my omega, so I will use more than those instincts to choose my pack. Even when all I want to do is climb them like trees and ride their dicks all night long. There will be time for that later.

It’s Friday, and time for my last date of the week. I’m glad the dates have gone much better than last week’s. Even outside of the dates, we’ve been hanging out as a group, and it’s been so much better seeing all the suitors getting along. What a huge difference it makes having the right suitors.

“Babe, what’s taking so long?” Koda peeks around the corner to find me sitting on the bed and rolls his eyes. “Evander is waiting for us, and you’re sitting on the bed? Get that sexy ass out here.”

Sticking my tongue out, I climb off the bed and follow him into the sitting room. “Hey, Evander. Sorry, I was a little lost in thought. I didn’t realize it was so late.”

“That’s okay. I never mind waiting for you.” Evander offers me his hand, which I take without hesitation. “You look amazing, as always.”

I snort, glancing down at the white T-shirt and leggings, which match what both he and Koda are wearing, though they’re both wearing white jeans. “Yeah, not usually an outfit I’d be wearing on a date. Especially not all in white.”

“Look, there’s nothing wrong with the outfit,” Koda huffs, heading for the door. “And it’s for the date, so stop complaining.”

Evander laughs. “It sounds like you might have already complained to him about it?”

“She did,” he calls over his shoulder as we follow him. “For like three hours.”

“I did not.” Shaking my head, I choose to ignore my omega. “I complained for maybe an hour.”

Evander laughs again. “Yeah, I’m not getting in the middle of that fight. I’m just going to assume you’re both right.”

“That’s not possible,” I argue, and he just shrugs. Sticking my bottom lip out, I can’t help pouting. Maybe bonding an omega was a bad idea. These alphas won’t pick sides.

“This is a no pouting zone,” Evander says as he reaches up to thumb at my lip.

I wrinkle my nose. “I’ll pout if I want to, and honestly, I don’t know why he’s so worked up over me complaining about the outfits. I definitely whined a lot longer about having no idea what we were doing on our date.”

Koda cackles in front of us but doesn’t say anything until we reach the SUV. “I’m sitting in the middle this time.”

“But I’m this season’s omega, shouldn’t I be the one to sit in the middle?” I ask, raising my eyebrows. Not that I care if I sit in the middle. I just want to give him a hard time.

“Or I could sit in the middle,” Evander offers with a chuckle. “Are the two of you going to be like this all night?”

“They’re always brats,” Lucas offers with a straight face.

Flipping him off, I climb into the SUV. “I don’t care who sits in the middle. Just get your asses in the car.”

Koda gets his way, climbing in behind me, and Evander sits on his other side. I lay my head on Koda’s shoulder as Justin leaves the compound, all of us ignoring the protestors. I’m so used to ignoring them at this point that I don’t even hear their words. Sometimes I don’t even notice they’re there. Let them spread their hate, and I’ll keep spreading my love. I’m the one who will be happier in the long run.

Koda and Evander banter back and forth, while I look out the window. I add to the conversation from time to time, but mostly I just enjoy the ride. We have a quick dinner of burgers and french fries from a drive-thru, which has me laughing. Then we come to a stop in front of a storefront that has me perking up—Serenity. Glancing at the windows, I grin. Koda has taken us to a spa.

“Hell, yes!” I pump my fist before reaching over and yanking Koda’s head down to mine in a kiss.

He chuckles against my lips. “I knew you’d love this.”

“But what does this outfit have to do with the spa?” Evander asks, peering out my window at Serenity.

“Nothing. This isn’t only our first stop. We’re here for a massage and facial before we head to our next destination.”

“And where’s that?” I ask, hoping he’ll tell us, but knowing he probably won’t.

He shakes his head, pushing me out of the car when Lucas opens the door for me. “Nope. You get to know nothing. Accept it and move on.”

“Fineeee. If I must.”

As soon as we walk inside, we’re being hustled off to a private room where three beta women are waiting to give us our facials and massages. When we’re leaving, my entire body feels loose, and I kind of just want to take a nap. “Are you sure this isn’t where the date should end?”

“What is it with you trying to end dates early?” Koda rolls his eyes, practically shoving me into the SUV.

“Maybe you should stop stuffing me full of good food and giving me full body massages for the first stop of dates.”

Evander chuckles as he climbs in behind me. “That’s it. I’m separating both of you. You’re adorable to watch, but it’s hard to get a word in edgewise.”

Making a face, I take his hand in mine. “I’m sorry, Evander. We don’t want you to feel left out.”

“Definitely not,” Koda agrees as he climbs inside as well.

He waves us off. “I get it. You’re newly bonded, but I’m definitely the one in the middle from now on.”

We both agree and when Koda pulls him into conversation, I listen quietly. I feel bad that we’re making Evander feel like he’s being left out, but I also feel like there might be a reason for it. Evander and I clicked in the beginning, I know we did, but nothing has come of it thus far. He’s an amazing guy, and he’s definitely hot, but why haven’t I imagined him in my future pack?

“We’re here!” Koda announces just before the SUV comes to a stop, and when I glance out the window, I realize he’s once again taken us to a nondescript building.

“And where is here? It’s not a rage room, is it? Because I definitely don’t need that after the massage.”

Koda chuckles and shakes his head. “This is actually just studio space that’s rented out to artists.”

“Which still doesn’t explain why we’re here,” I say with a laugh.

“Pretty sure he did that on purpose.” Evander laughs with me as the three of us climb out of the car.

Koda just shrugs, leading us inside and down a hallway. He knocks on the door and a man swings it open. “Koda! You made it! That must mean you’re Evangeline and Evander. My name is Kris, and I’ll be your photographer tonight.”

“Photographer?” I echo, trailing into the studio behind them. “I still don’t get the white outfit.”

Kris laughs. “You didn’t tell them anything, did you?”

“Nope,” he says with a laugh, popping his p.

He shakes his head as he moves to the light switch. “This ought to be good then.”

The room goes completely dark and I freeze while black lights kick on. Looking around the room, I see how much our clothes light up under the lights. That makes a little more sense, I guess.

“I’ll be photographing your entire night, but I promise I’ll be one hundred percent professional. In the center of the room, you’ll find glow-in-the-dark paints and brushes. You don’t have to use the brushes if you don’t want to. You’re more than welcome to use your hands or whatever you want. Clothing is optional, but Koda thought you’d be more comfortable in the white clothes.”

“Oh, um…yeah. At least for now,” I say hesitantly, seeking out the guys the best I can in this lighting. They both nod, making me feel better. I’m wearing a bikini beneath my clothes, as Koda requested, but I don’t really feel like stripping down in front of a stranger—at least not yet. Who knows what the night will be.

I’m feeling a bit hesitant about the whole thing as we wander over to where the paints sit, but I dip my fingers into one of the containers. When I lift it out, I find a fluorescent pink dripping from my fingers. Evander is standing next to me, so I drag my hands down his shirt. He gasps as he looks down to see the mess I’ve made of his shirt.

“Okay, omega. This means war.”

I squeal and take off as he reaches into a bucket and flings paint at me. For the next few minutes, the three of us fling paint at one another while trying to avoid getting hit with paint ourselves. I completely forget that Kris is even in the room with us when I decide I’d much rather paint their bodies. I hold up my paint-covered hands in surrender before grasping the hem of my shirt and tugging it over my head.

Evander and Koda immediately freeze, their eyes pinned on me as I slide my leggings down and kick off my sandals, leaving me in just my bikini. I snicker when neither of them moves.

“I’ve thought about it, and I think painting one another’s bodies sounds like a lot more fun than a paint fight.” Before I’ve even finished my sentence, they’re both stripping down to their boxer briefs. Mmmm, yes. This was a good idea.

Gesturing for them to join me, they both hurry over, and the three of us sit on the ground. Dipping my fingers into the paints, I bring my hands to their chests and drag them down, stopping just before hitting their boxer briefs.

“Oh, yes. This is much better,” Evander growls. “My turn.”

For the next hour, we paint one another’s bodies and somehow manage to not end up fucking. Honestly, it’s a bit of a surprise to me that we don’t since their touch sets me on fire, but each time one of them starts to take it further, I pull back. Something is holding me back from going there, and I don’t really know what it is.

Once our time is up, we each shower off—separately—before heading back to the compound. Once more, Koda and Evander fall into conversation, while I try to figure out why I didn’t allow things to go any further with Evander. Tomorrow’s the rose ceremony, and I need to figure it out before then. Because if I can’t see him as part of the pack I’m building, then why is he still here?

Gods, this is definitely the part I hate most about being on Heated.

Koda and I spent Saturday in my suite, trying to figure out what we were going to do at the rose ceremony. We’ve now reached the end of week five, and I feel like we can’t just let things ride anymore. There isn’t enough time left to keep anyone on the show that we don’t see a future with. Which is why it took so long for us to agree on everyone, and that’s something I wanted to make sure we did. I don’t want to bring someone into my pack that Koda is unsure of. I don’t want to send someone home that he thinks there might be a spark with—even if it’s not there with me.

As our pack grows, I plan to consider everyone’s opinions because it’s not just my pack—it’s our pack.

We follow Reginald into the ballroom, and I have to keep reminding myself that sometimes we have to make hard decisions—especially when it comes to building our pack.

When the lights go up on the stage, I blink against the sudden onslaught while Reginald steps forward to address the suitors and viewers.

“Welcome back to Heated! It’s time for our weekly rose ceremony now that we’ve reached the end of week five. Time seems to be flying back as Evangeline, and now Koda, work on choosing their pack. Evangeline, are you and Koda ready for the ceremony to begin?”

I nod even though I don’t feel ready. I can’t help second-guessing our decisions; always afraid I might be making a mistake. When Koda’s hand wraps around mine and squeezes, I let the tension spill from me. It’s all the reminder I need that I didn’t come to these decisions easily or on my own. Koda and I are in this together.

“Of course we are,” I finally answer, a smile finding its way to my lips.

“Excellent. Tonight, our only remaining pack, Pack Wells, are our first suitors to join us. Natalie and Ronan, if the two of you will join us?”

I smile as the two of them climb onto the stage with us. I’m so glad that Natalie and I cleared the air. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know her and Ronan, and I’m not ready to say goodbye to them—if I ever will be. I guess only time will tell.

“I know we broke up your pack this week for dates, but this week, Koda and I would like both of you to join us on a date that’s just the four of us.” I grin as Koda holds out a lavender and a peach rose. “We weren’t sure if we should call that a group date or an individual date, so we figured we would give you each one.”

Ronan pulls all three of us into a hug, passing around kisses to each of us. When they leave the stage, I know the next few are going to be easy. While it’s true that Bree tries to have the order be random, I asked for three suitors to go last—Evander, Tessa, and Lillian. That leaves Gavin, Conrad, Jagger, and Alejandro to follow Pack Wells, who each gets a peach rose.

“Now, we invite our remaining three suitors to join us on the stage. Lillian, Tessa, and Evander, if you will?”

My hand seeks out Koda’s as the three of them make their way onto the stage to stop before us. He squeezes my hand as I take a deep breath.

“I asked for the three of you to come up at the same time because your roses are the biggest changes to the show. Koda and I spent the day trying to decide how we wanted tonight to go, as I wanted us to be in complete agreement on all three accounts. Some decisions were easier to agree on than others, but we’ve decided this is what is best for our pack.”

My eyes move to Evander as Koda slips the first rose into my hand. “Evander, we had fun last night on our date with you, but it also made me realize something. The chemistry that I felt when we first met seems to have fizzled out. I don’t know why or how, but when I started thinking about the pack I’m building, I couldn’t imagine you in it, and I’m so sorry for that. I wish I could because you’re an amazing man and alpha, but you’re just not meant to be ours.”

Evander nods, a sad smile gracing his lips. “I was pretty sure this was coming. I’m sad to be leaving because I’ve met some amazing people here, but I think you’re right. We’re not meant for one another, and there’s no reason to try to force that. There’s a pack out there just waiting for me to meet them, and even if your pack isn’t where I’m meant to be, I’m glad I took a chance to come onto the show. I might be leaving Heated packless, but I’m not leaving it friendless.”

I hold the rose out to him, leaning forward to kiss his cheek. “I know you’ll find your pack one day. Just keep being the amazing man you are.”

Koda has tears in his eyes when Evander turns to him. “We’re going to miss you around here.”

“And I’m going to miss all of you, but this is what’s for the best.” He pulls my omega in for a hug, and when they break apart, they both have tears in their eyes. With a nod in my direction, Evander makes his way off the stage to join the suitors for the last time.

“Tessa and Lillian, there was definite attraction when I met both of you, which has only grown since I’ve gotten to know each of you.” I glance at Koda as he plucks the two red roses from the vase. “When Koda and I imagine our future pack, we can’t imagine it without both of you. Lillian, you’re like literal sunshine. I never want to give that up. I want you to be in my life forever. And Tessa? You’re so strong and brave. Not to mention kick-ass. We couldn’t think of a better alpha to be our first alpha. We want both of you to be a part of our pack, if that’s what you want.”

Lillian’s smile takes over her face as she throws herself at me, wrapping me in a hug. “I would love to be a part of your pack.”

As soon as she releases me, she does the same to Koda. Then the three of us turn to Tessa, smiling as she stares at us in shock.

“You’re choosing me as your first alpha?” she asks, sounding unsure of herself. “Even though I’m broken and can never have children of my own?”

Koda chuckles. “There are already two other women in this pack who will carry our children if that’s what they want to do. Any child that is born of this pack would be yours just as much as anyone else’s. Who gives a fuck that you can’t have a biological child. You’ll still have children, and you’ll have a family.”

Tears stream down her face as she nods. “Then, yes. I accept your invitation to your pack.”

“So formal,” I say with a laugh, nudging Lillian’s side. She immediately begins to giggle. Tessa rolls her eyes but hurries over to us to pull all three of us into a hug.

“There we have it, viewers. Evangeline has sent home another suitor, but has added two more to her pack. There are still three more weeks for her to make her final decisions. Make sure you tune in next time to see how things are fairing between them all. You definitely don’t want to miss the next rose ceremony. Until next time!”

I hear the suitors cheering, but my focus is on my two soon-to-be mates. We need to get to the nest so I can make them mine.

I can’t wait.