CHAPTER 29
I met Grey and Charlie at her car. I’d basically bypassed my family, finding them only to say goodbye so my relatives wouldn’t be offended. My parents looked a bit put off by my abrupt departure, probably because I’d left before they could enforce a curfew. I walked as quickly as I could in my sky-high heels towards Charlie’s sedan.
“Congratulations!” She smiled and wrapped me in a hug, which lasted a bit long for just a celebratory embrace. Grey must have told her about the whole Riley scene. “You okay?” She wondered quietly.
“Yeah, I’m good.” I nodded, pushing the sadness away. I added a smile. “About to be even better.”
“That’s my girl.” She laughed and opened the passenger door for me. Grey climbed in the back as Charlie got in to drive. We sat for a moment and all lit a smoke.
“So, what’d you think of our grad theme? Pretty cheesy, huh?” I giggled.
“Shoot for the moon. I’d say its green cheesy. ” Charlie laughed. She put the car in reverse and backed out the parking lot. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay for your grad party?”
“Are you kidding me? No thanks. I actually want to party tonight.” I blew my smoke out the opened window, the warm wind washing in. “It’s going to be this super lame dance where you can’t even drink if you’re not of age, which I’m not.”
“Well, then, I’m afraid you’re just going to have to party with us.” Charlie winked at me. “We’re going to Grey’s house.”
I giggled excitedly. “Shot for shot again, is it?” I challenged her.
“Baby, I could out drink you any day. Don’t you remember last time?”
I laughed. “That wasn’t fair. I hadn’t eaten anything for like a week that night. ”
“Wait,” Grey chuckled from the backseat. “Wasn’t that the night I walked in and you were in nothing but your underwear?”
Charlie burst out laughing. I blushed. “Yeah.”
“So…you guys should probably do it again.” He decided innocently. “You know, just for curiosity’s sake.”
“Yeah right,” I turned to face him in the backseat and giggled. “You just want to see me in my underwear.”
A sexy smirk lit his perfect face. “Hell yeah I do.”
I blushed an even deeper red.
Loud music was pumping from Grey’s house as we pulled up in front; cars were parked up and down the street. I was surprised. I thought it’d just be the five of us like usual; I didn’t realize we were having an actual party. I grinned enthusiastically as I stepped out of the car, fully prepared to have an awesome time. Grey took my hand and led me up the front walk while Charlie tripped her way to the house, giggling and stumbling.
I laughed. “Is she already drunk or something?”
Grey stopped. He looked guilty. “Uh…yeah, a bit. We came here during your reception and kind of…got a head start.”
“You did?” I looked up at him, noticing for the first time the slight blear of his beautiful blue eyes, the unsteadiness of his stance. I remembered the exuberant cheering they’d done for me at the reception. No wonder they’d been so enthused since they were already so wasted.
“Are you mad?” Grey wondered.
I thought about it a moment and I couldn’t really decide. I was a bit put out they hadn’t waited for me—I mean, it would have been only a few more hours and it was my graduation, after all. But as I looked up at Grey, into his perfect, impossibly handsome face, I decided it didn’t matter. I wanted to be the best girlfriend he’d ever had, I wanted him to brag about how awesome I was to his friends. I didn’t want to be one of those whiny girls who got all naggy with her boyfriend when he did something without her.
I smiled. “Are you kidding me? Now I’ll kick her ass at shots for sure.”
Grey laughed with relief. He looked down at me happily as his hand cupped my cheek, his other turned up my chin so we could kiss. I tasted whiskey on his breath, but his lips were sweet and enticing .
There were tons of people inside, many I’d never met before. Grey introduced me to a bunch of them. I smiled politely but knew I’d never remember all their names.
Some people full-on stared at me. Well, I don’t think they were staring at me so much as they were me and Grey together. It was a sight to behold, apparently—Grey with a girlfriend. He held my hand the entire time as we mingled around, and I loved it—it felt amazing to know I was the only girlfriend he’d ever had, even if I did get looks of doubt and surprise because of it. Like they were all thinking, why the hell would he choose her, of all people?
I ignored them and held tightly to Grey’s warm, strong hand instead. I didn’t know the answer to that myself, really. But he had chosen me. That was all that mattered.
A little while later, Charlie came and found me in the crowd, pulling me away from him. “Sorry, Grey, she’s mine now.”
“Good luck.” He chuckled, dropping my hand for the first time since we’d arrived. Charlie squealed exuberantly, dragging me into the kitchen.
“What’s up?” I laughed, trailing behind her.
“This is up, bitch.” She flipped back her blonde hair and pointed to the centre island, where two shot glasses and a bottle of Crown Royal were sitting.
I smiled excitedly. I had some catching up to do, everyone else seemed pretty loaded already and I wanted to get as wasted as I possibly could.
“Oh, you’re so on. And this time, Charlie, you’re going down.” I threatened, setting down my purse and climbing clumsily up onto the stool, hindered by my dress and heels. Charlie sat down facing me from the other side of the counter, smiling at my challenge.
“Then go.” She dared me. I picked up my shot and swallowed it in one gulp.
“One.” I declared. The whiskey burned all the way down my throat, hitting my empty stomach and spreading lazy, pleasant warmth throughout my body.
“One.” Charlie duplicated, after slamming back her shot.
“Two.”
“Two.”
“Three.”
“Three.”
“Four.”
“Four.” Charlie set down her shot and cheered. A crowd was gathering around us. Alex was sloppily taking bets on who would win. I couldn’t stop laughing at the disparaging remarks being thrown around the room. First I was the lightweight, then Charlie, and then we were both lightweights, and then the bet changed from one of us winning to either of us even making it past five. I was ramped up with excitement and in the mood to prove them wrong—the mood I was in, I would last all night. I poured us another shot and flipped it back.
“Five.” The crowd cheered.
“Five.” They cheered again for Charlie. There didn’t seem to be a favourite, as long as one of us was shooting back alcohol. I giggled and filled up the shots again, the bottle shaking in my unsteady hand.
“Six.”
“Six.”
Grey came to join us in the now-crowded kitchen. He came and stood behind me, resting his arm lazily around my shoulders. The booze was starting to hit me and I stared up at him, drunk and smiling. He bent down and kissed me. The crowd cheered as he did so, and I was smiling gloriously as I took my next shot.
“Seven.”
“Seven.” Charlie wasn’t backing down. She was talking and laughing and joking but could barely keep her eyes open, she was so drunk. She poured us the next shot, spilling whiskey all over the table as she did so.
“Eight.”
“Eight.” She hiccupped. I lit a cigarette, and my lips were numb as I blew the smoke out.
“Nine.”
“Nine.”
I knew I couldn’t keep this up much longer, but I had to outlast Charlie. I stamped my smoke out in the ashtray and poured our next shot, since she didn’t seem capable of doing it anymore. I swear she was asleep sitting up. Nearly everyone was in the kitchen, pressing in, loud and rowdy around us. Bets were changing rapidly as our motor skills deteriorated. I sat back a moment, a crazy perma-smile on my face. I just couldn’t stop grinning.
“Go for ten.” Grey whispered in my ear. “Come on, you got this.”
Still smiling, I flipped back the shot and swallowed, gulping the strong, burning whiskey. I set the glass down and knew I was done.
“Ten.” My arms were heavy and my vision blurred. I stared across at Charlie as best I could and wondered what she would do .
Everyone was champing her name. Charlie was totally dishevelled, red-eyed and bleary, but still managed to look beautiful. She rested her head weakly on her hand, smiled a moment, and then slumped over. Zack caught her before she fell, but Charlie was definitely out. I had won.
“Winner!” I exclaimed, throwing my hands in the air. “Woooooh! Winner!” Everyone was cheering for me. People were high-fiving me like crazy. I laughed and smiled and cheered along with them.
And then I fell off my chair.
One second I was upright and the next I’d fallen. What happened in between, I can’t recall. Everything went black for a moment and then I was on the floor, face down in a pile of laughter, and there was a second of stunned silence while everyone waited to see if I was okay.
“Hey, you all right?” Grey bent over me carefully.
“Winner!” I exclaimed again, this time from the floor. “Winner!”
Cheering and laughter erupted from around the room. I joined in, giggling like crazy. Grey was smiling, his blue eyes twinkling as he picked me up off the linoleum.
“Come on, winner.” He cradled me in his arms. “I think you’ve had enough.”
People were still giving me high-fives as Grey carried me out of the kitchen and down the hallway where it was quiet, away from the party.
“Did you hit your head?” He wondered, opening a door and flicking the light on.
“I don’t think sooo.” I sang. He chuckled and set me down. I nearly fell over, grasping the wall for support.
“Let’s get these shoes off.” Gently, he lifted my knees and pulled off my pumps, one at a time. “That should help your balance a bit if anything will.”
The difference in my height was staggering without my shoes on, and my feet felt strange flat on the floor after being arched all day long.
“Wait, Grey, is this your bedroom?”
“Yes.”
“Wow.” I looked around in awe. His walls were covered in posters; all of them were rock bands, most of them I had never heard of. Bands like Dream Theatre and Smile Empty Soul, Sepultura and Rage Against the Machine. There were many Tool posters, which I recognized, and Metallica and System of a Down and Sevendust and countless others I didn’t know.
His room was fairly neat, cleaner than mine at home—his closet doors actually shut. A queen-size, unmade bed sat beneath a large, coverless window looking out into the backyard. I could see the stars through it, twinkling in the night sky. Music equipment, amps and cords and who knows what else were stacked up neatly along the wall. A large desk sat along the back, piled with paper and notebooks and looseleaf covered in Grey’s inky scrawl. An acoustic guitar sat in its stand by the bed.
“Wow. You can tell a lot about a person from their room, you know.”
“Oh yeah? What does mine tell you?” Grey asked, sitting next to me on the bed.
“You love music. And…I’d say you’re a fan of metal?”
“And classic rock, of course.”
“Of course.” I agreed. My hazy gaze rested on his acoustic guitar.
I gasped. “Will you play me something?”
“If you want.” Grey chuckled, picking up the instrument and placing the strap over his shoulders. He sat back down. “What do you want me to play?” He asked, strumming idly as he waited for me to answer.
I drew a complete blank. I loved music of every kind, as long as it was passionate, but for some reason, I couldn’t think of a single song.
“How about this one.” Grey bent over the guitar and began to play. He was impressive. I watched him intently—how his hands seemed to dance over the strings. I was amazed at how quickly they moved. He didn’t even need to look down.
I recognized the song immediately. “Good Riddance” by Green Day. My grad song. Grey strummed the rhythm, his fingers deftly changing chords and picking notes, playing the melody perfectly.
I sat back on the bed, pulled my knees to my chest and listened.
The song was sweetly sad, like graduating was supposed to be, and the haunting, reminiscent notes from the guitar made me feel hollow inside, totally lonely.
The way I felt when Riley left.
I felt it again. How much I missed him, how much I was going to miss him.
How much of a gaping hole he’d left behind.
Memories of Riley flooded my mind then, like my life was flashing before my eyes, like in a car crash or something. Riley and I when we first met, when he’d been shy and reserved, so I’d grabbed his hand and forced him to play with me. The third grade when I peed my pants and Riley lent me his gym shorts so no one would know. Climbing the big hill in our neighbourhood and eating plums at the top. Countless birthdays and Christmases and presents he’d given me. Hitting the ditch last winter, when he’d let me sit in the warm car while he shovelled and pushed us out. Singing and dancing to Destiny’s Child. The hundreds of times we’d gotten wasted together .
I remembered it all, just then, as the lyrics to the Green Day song played in my mind.
“It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right.
I hope you had the time of your life.”
“Hey, hey. You okay?” Abruptly, Grey stopped playing, glancing over with concern.
I nodded. It was hard to talk.
“You’re crying.” He took the guitar off and placed it back in its stand. I wiped the tears from my eyes; I hadn’t realized they were there. “Come here.”
Grey pulled me to him, wrapping his strong arm around my back and cradling me against his chest. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. That was beautiful…you play amazing.” I sniffled. I hated that I was letting Riley ruin our time together. “It’s stupid, I’m just…drunk. I’m sorry, Grey. Just forget about it.”
His blue eyes were pensive for a moment, and then a sudden thought occurred to him. “You’re thinking about Riley, aren’t you?”
My silence was the same as a yes. Grey sighed, and he hugged me again…but something had changed. The air seemed heavy now. He was suddenly quiet, sullen, his body tense beneath me. I looked up to find him frowning, lost in thought.
I realized then how stupid I was being, wrapped in my boyfriend’s arms, crying about another guy. “I’m sorry.” I wiped my eyes again. “That song just made me feel nostalgic, and I’m super drunk, and…” I stammered, trying to explain.
“…and, in love with him?” Grey met my eyes, searching them, looking for the truth. “You are, aren’t you?”
“What? No.” I shook my head in earnest, alarmed. “No, I promise. I know how it must look, but it’s not like that with Riley and me. He’s like…he’s like my brother, you know? It was a lot with him leaving today, but you have nothing to worry about.”
Grey dropped his gaze. “Mackenzie, if Riley’s who you want…if he’d make you happy…” He started, but then he shrugged, trailing off with a shake of his head, like he couldn’t bring himself to say the words.
“Grey, no.” I sat up on my knees and grasped his hands, looking up into his face, imploring. “Please, don’t think that way. You’re on my mind, like, all the time. Riley’s just my friend, I mean, he’s not even my friend anymore, really…” I shook my head, anxious, angry at myself for letting this happen, for letting Grey doubt my feelings for even a second. Furiously, I pushed any feelings and all thoughts and images of Riley fr om my mind, determined not to let them surface again, ever.
We were over; we were done. I wasn’t going to let him ruin things for me.
I promised myself I would never agonize over Riley McIntyre ever again. Ever.
Determined, I climbed onto Grey’s lap, straddling him, my arms around his neck, my fingers in his hair. I pressed an urgent kiss to his lips.
“It’s you I want,” I promised in his ear. “You make me happy.”
Grey wasn’t convinced. He chuckled skeptically, wiping a tear from my cheek.
I looked into his deep blue eyes, into his perfect face. I knew what I wanted to tell him, but I hesitated, remembering how it went over the first time.
I took a deep breath, working up the courage.
“You don’t have to worry, Grey, at all. Because I love you. You. ”
Then I kissed him again, using my lips to convince him in the places my words had failed. Finally, finally, I felt Grey soften. When we broke apart, he was smiling again, giving me his sexy smirk. He shook his head, gazing at me fondly.
“You’re a bit dramatic, huh?” He chuckled.
“Why does everyone always say that—?”
My words were cut off then as he, smiling, swept me up in a kiss.