19. Chapter 19 I Will Judge Him if He Did a Bad Job
Chapter 19: I Will Judge Him if He Did a Bad Job
J ENNY
Jenny waited for the uneasiness or embarrassment to hit, but it didn’t. Yeah, she felt a little awkward about them being slumped naked on the couch, but it was the most comfortable she’d ever been with a man once the sexy times were over.
And, holy moly, the sexy times! So far, Gloria was one hundred percent right about geeks, or at least this geek. She hoped she’d get to test that theory.
For now, she was thrilled to have no regrets once the activity was over. Based on the blissed-out smile on his face and his relaxed body language, Wade was also at peace with their actions.
He sighed and scooted forward, and Jenny’s carefree mood evaporated.
“Nope, don’t do that,” he said.
“What?”
“Don’t freak out on me now.” When she opened her mouth to argue, he gave her a look. “Your body language is easy to read. You were relaxed and happy, and then you tensed up. What’s going on?”
“What’s going on with you? You’re the one who sighed and changed the mood.”
Wade stared at her for a moment before he huffed a laugh.
“I don’t know what you thought, but that was a sigh of satisfaction.”
“But you sat up when you did it. You didn’t stay all relaxed and replete; you sighed, sat up, and straightened your back like you had something serious to say.”
“I do have something important to say, but it’s not scary.”
“Oh my god, you’re killing me. Spit it out already.”
Jenny’s nerves fell away as her annoyance spiked. Wade smirked at her as she crossed her arms over her naked breasts.
“There’s my girl. I like it when you’re feisty instead of nervous.”
Jenny sighed, but a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. If he was making jokes and calling her his girl, this probably wasn’t a ‘let’s be friends’ speech. She maintained a stern expression and hid her breasts as much as she could.
“We have a few things to talk about, though,” Wade said in his usual calm, relaxed manner. “That was great, right? Way better than I expected, and I had high hopes. Maybe I should be less blunt, but I’m a direct person. I like knowing where I stand. We’re doing this, right? It’s not just a vacation fling, is it?”
“Didn’t we already have this conversation?” Jenny asked, confused.
“Well, yeah, but that was before we got naked and touched each other’s body parts. I didn’t know if that changed anything for you.”
He gestured towards the couch and looked a little bit embarrassed. Jenny’s heart melted at how he tried to set her at ease in spite of his own discomfort.
“Nothing’s changed for me.” Jenny gave him a shy smile as she answered.
“Good,” he said with a satisfied nod. “Not for me, either.”
He took her hand. His serious expression contrasted so much with his nudity that Jenny bit back a smile.
“Since I haven’t scared you off with my overwhelming manliness”—Jenny giggled as he intended—“I have questions.”
“Like what?”
“Is this on the down low, or are we going public with this? I’ve introduced you here as my girlfriend, but the likelihood of that information getting back to the office is slim. Before you ask, I’m all in. Hell, I’m ready to change my social media status and tell Kyle, the biggest gossip at work, and ask my mom to invite you to dinner to meet all my sisters.”
Jenny’s eyes grew bigger the more he spoke, and he grinned at her ruefully.
“See, that’s what I’m talking about. I’m all in, but I don’t know where you are unless you tell me.”
“I’m all in, too. You surprised me, that’s all.”
“What do you mean?”
“Most guys I’ve dated don’t want to have a relationship status conversation ever, and they certainly don’t initiate it.”
“They’re idiots. Now you’re dating an adult, and adults like clarity.”
“Don’t you think we should wait until we’ve had sex? Penetrative sex, I mean?”
“Do you have two vaginas or something?”
“What? No,” she sputtered a laugh.
“I mean, if you do, we can figure something out, but I can’t imagine there’s anything I’ll learn once we go all the way that I don’t already know. You’re kind, smart, gorgeous, funny, sensual, and attentive. I can’t see how putting my dick in a different hole will change my opinion on that.”
“Um, what if I’m not any good at it?”
Jenny looked at her hands as she asked. She tried to sound casual when she asked, but it’s hard to conceal nervous body language when nude on a couch.
“Baby, look at me.”
Wade put his finger under her chin again. Jenny plastered on a happy expression before she met his concerned eyes.
“Jenny, sweetie, I already know you’re good at it. If someone else told you something different, that’s because he wasn’t any good at helping you relax and have fun. Did you have fun with what we just did?”
“You know I did,” she said with a blush.
“Did you like what I did to you?”
“Yes.”
Her blush felt like it would consume her, burning every inch of her skin.
“And did you like what you did to me?”
She nodded again, too embarrassed to speak now.
“That’s all that matters, then. If some past idiots couldn’t figure out how release your inner sex goddess, that’s their own fault. Whatever might have been said in the past has nothing to do with you and me now. I have no doubt that when we do come together, it’ll be epic.”
Somehow, his kind words didn’t make her feel any better. Her shoulders sagged just a little, but Wade still noticed.
“Hey, now. I didn’t say that to put any more pressure on you. We’re explosive together.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “But I understand. You won’t believe it until we get there, and that’s okay. Would you feel better if we waited to tell people we know that we’re together until after we’ve made love?”
“I don’t know. No. Well, maybe. It’s not that I doubt you—”
“No, I understand. They made you doubt yourself. Those shitheads from your past decimated your confidence. I’m guessing at least one of them told you all sorts of bullshit about you being boring or bad in bed. Am I right?”
Tears burned at her eyelids, but she blinked them away. Her throat burned too much to say anything, so she nodded her agreement, ashamed.
“Well, that’s bullshit. You’re willing, giving, and fun. Responsive and exciting. That’s all you need to bring to the party. It’s up to your partner to help you relax and have a good time. If that didn’t happen, that was on them, not you. You’ll see. We’ll keep it to ourselves for now, but soon, you’ll see the sexual goddess I see.”
He kissed her again on the forehead before he stood.
“I’ll see you in the morning, gorgeous. Sleep well.”
JENNY
“You’re shitting me?” Gloria shrieked. “I knew it!”
Jenny grinned and rolled her eyes even though Gloria couldn’t see her over the phone.
“Tell me everything,” her friend demanded.
“Uh, no. That’s not going to happen. I didn’t kiss and tell the whole time I dated Chad, and I’m not going to do it when it’s someone you knew before I did.”
Gloria huffed with frustration.
“Then why did you call me if not tell me about the kissing? You can’t just say that you and Wade are no longer pretending to date, but you didn’t stage a breakup and expect me to be satisfied with that.” Gloria gasped. “Wait, was there more than kissing?”
She could practically see Gloria’s giddiness. Jenny almost wished she could have waited to have this conversation when they were back home so she could talk with her bestie face-to-face. There was no way she’d survive that long with the conflicting emotions tearing her apart, though.
“I need your help, Gloria. This is serious.”
“I’m here for you, babe. What do you need? Condoms? I put some in your laptop bag. Didn’t I tell you?”
“I had no idea. Thank you, I think. That wasn’t what I needed help with.”
“Too bad.”
Gloria sounded genuinely disappointed for her, and Jenny felt a wave of affection for her friend. Their differences outweighed their similarities, but Gloria always wanted the best for her. The feeling was mutual.
“Okay, maybe there was more than kissing.”
Jenny held the phone away from her ear to lower the volume on Gloria’s excited shrieking. She imagined her friend doing a ridiculous celebratory dance. No one else supported her and had her back the way Gloria did.
“Okay, okay, I’m calm now. Sorry, but I fucking knew it!” Gloria whooped.
“You were right.”
“Oh my god, those are some of my favorite words. I mean, you’re a woman, so it’s not quite as satisfying for you say them, but still. I’ll take what I can get.”
“Does that mean your date didn’t go as well as you hoped?”
“Ugh, don’t get me started on that. I mean it. Quit trying to change the subject. We can talk about my latest disastrous Internet date when you get back, but you will not distract me from this conversation. Out with it.”
“I’m not trying to… Okay, maybe I am a little. This is so awkward. I don’t like to talk about this sort of thing.”
“I know, babe. But it’s me. I won’t judge you, but I will judge him if he did a bad job.”
“That won’t be necessary.”
Gloria’s triumphant, “I knew it,” erupted from the phone. Jenny laughed.
“Yes, you did. How did you know?”
“I’m telling you; geek guys are where it’s at. When they can be bothered to show up instead of leaving a girl hanging and ghosting her.”
“Oh, no! I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine. It’s not the first time I’ve been stood up.”
“But this was the guy you really liked, right? The one you connected with?”
“Stop it, young lady. We’re not talking about me right now, remember? Do I need to call Wade instead to find out what happened?”
Jenny gasped in genuine horror. Gloria would do it, too.
“Don’t you dare!”
“Then ask me what you need to ask me. It’s obvious you’re stressed, and I will not let him treat you badly or string you along. I don’t care how great of a team lead he supposedly is or how nice he seems; I will kick his ass.”
“Gloria, Gloria, slow your roll. He didn’t treat me badly. At all.”
“Oh. Oh!”
“Yes, ‘oh.’ We didn’t, you know, go all the way. But we, um, were intimate in other ways.”
“You are so adorable, you know? All nervous and shy talking about this. I’m not making fun!” Gloria added with haste when Jenny objected. “Listen. I’m not mocking you. It’s one of the things I love about you. You read and listen to the raunchiest shit, but you turn bright red at the prospect of saying breast. He did touch your breasts, right?”
“Oh my god, you’re the worst. Why am I friends with you?”
“It’s all part of my charm. In all seriousness, honey, is there anything you did that you didn’t like doing or felt pressured into?”
“No, the opposite, actually.”
“Oh, really? Color me intrigued.”
“This is so embarrassing, but he didn’t want to have sex with me.”
“I don’t believe it for a minute. Nope, I don’t buy it.”
“Okay, fine, that isn’t what he said, but it doesn’t change the fact that he did pass up the opportunity. He told me I was irresistible, but then he managed to resist me with very little effort. What does that mean?”
“You’d better tell me what he said because I’ve seen the way he looks at you. It’s not the look of a man who’d pass up the opportunity to jump your bones.”
“Well, he did. He said he thought we should wait because he didn’t want me to have any regrets since things were going so fast.”
“That sounds more like it, but I still don’t understand. When did he say this? Before or after he made you come?”
“Both, I think, but it’s kind of a blur. I mean, it was just a little while ago, and I’m still kind of floaty, but it’s also not exactly clear in my mind because I experienced so many new things. It was kind of overwhelming, and we did things I’ve never done before. Oh-h-h. I think I understand.”
“Yep. Endorphins can really mess with your head sometimes. That’s why he wanted to wait, sweetie. He seems really in tune with you.”
“Well, he also overheard some of our conversation that day at work.”
“That day in the break room?” Gloria’s trill of laughter filled the room, and more of Jenny’s tension abated when her friend laughed at the situation. “Oh my god, that’s fucking hilarious. Wait, how did you find out? Did he tell you, or did you guess based on things he said”
“He told me before we got into anything too private.”
“What a good boy.”
Jenny giggled. She wondered if Wade would enjoy that as much as she liked it when he called her a good girl.
“Okay, that’s one particular giggle I don’t want explained,” Gloria said in a droll voice that made Jenny laugh harder. “So, he heard some of our conversation that day. What parts did he overhear?”
Gloria gasped with excitement. “Did he hear when I suggested you hook up with him? Is that why he asked you to be his fake girlfriend?”
“He said he would have recruited your help if he’d known about your idea, but it was my idea to fake date to get Suzanne off his back. No, he heard me say Chad was texting me and his horrible reasons for having sex with him. Plus, he heard the embarrassing things Chad said when he broke up with me.”
“God, I fucking hate that guy,” Gloria snarled.
Jenny envisioned Gloria grinding her teeth.
“I know. Me, too. And of course, he also knew the whole thing about the hookup app wasn’t from a book.”
Gloria cackled, and Jenny let out a reluctant laugh of her own.
“What about the part about never orgasming with someone else?”
“Oh my god, I completely forgot about that! I don’t know, but I hope not. He didn’t mention that part, and I can’t remember when you and I talked about it. You’d be so proud of me, though. I asked him if he saw me as a challenge.”
“Oh, scary question! Good job, babe.”
“It was scary! But he said, getting me to notice him was the challenge, and I was the prize.”
Jenny’s voice softened on those last words as if she couldn’t quite believe them, and she wanted to hold them close.
“Smooth job, Wade. Nice. Okay, so what’s the problem? He sounds great. You already know I like him. I wouldn’t have recommended you hook up with him otherwise since you’re not really built for casual. What are you so anxious about?”
“I don’t know what to do. He says he’s all-in and is ready to tell everybody at work that we’re dating, and he’s excited about me meeting his sisters, but I don’t know if I’m ready.”
“Because of that shitbag Chad and the asshole you dated before him, right? God, I could wring their necks for how shitty they made you feel about yourself. They’re such dicks.”
“But what if they’re right? What’s that phrase? If you consistently have the same problem, maybe the problem is you. What if I’m the problem? Is there something about me that only attracts that kind of guy?”
“Honey, no. I do think there’s some truth to that statement sometimes, but I don’t think it applies to this situation. Your dad’s an asshole, too, so it’s no wonder you keep going for jerks. But you don’t only attract that kind of guy. That’s the only kind of guy you thought you deserve.”
Jenny gaped at her phone, unprepared for her friend’s words.
“But you’re entitled to something better than shitty men and boring sex.”
Jenny’s throat clogged with emotion, but she forced herself to ask the question that had haunted her for so long.
“What if I really am bad in bed?”
“Did Chad say that? You forgot that I’ve met him. He hit on me minutes after you introduced me as your best friend. Don’t take anything he said as truth, particularly when it comes to sex.”
“What do you mean?”
“Look at it logically. Selfish people are generally selfish in bed, too. If anybody was bad in bed, it was him. Plus, why would he be sniffing around now if you were so terrible? With Mommy and Daddy’s money, it wouldn’t be hard to find a party girl if all he wanted was to get his dick wet.”
“That’s a good point.”
“Of course it is. And he’s not sucking up to you, hoping you’ll forget his shitty behavior. He made it clear it’s just about sex, right? Men with money always have other options.”
“Huh.” Jenny said back hard on her chair, stunned by Gloria’s insight. “I never thought about it like that.”
“Now it’s time to tell me what else you’re so embarrassed about. Don’t think I forgot. Did Wade eat you out or something?”
“How did you know?”
“Oh my god, he did?” Gloria whooped in delight. “Way to go, Wade! See, that’s a guy who’s good to his friends, and I bet he’s even more generous to his lady.”
“I don’t know how to answer that except to say that it was amazing. I didn’t know I could do that.”
“Aw, our little girl is growing up! Wait, does that mean what I think it means? Did he make you come?”
“Yes,” Jenny whispered and then whipped her phone away from her head as Gloria’s hoots rang in her ears.
“Okay, I’m calm again,” Gloria said a minute later, “but I’m so fucking happy for you, babe. Where were we? Wade made you come from oral sex, and he wouldn’t let you talk him into sex-sex because he didn’t want you to do something in the heat of the moment that you’d regret later. Am I leaving anything out?”
“Um, maybe we did a few other things, too.”
“Nice, Jenny was getting busy,” she sang. “That’s great news, but for some reason you’re still freaked out. What’s going on in your head?”
“How do I know if I can trust this? If I can trust him?”
“Oh, babe, that’s the million-dollar question. You can’t know. All you can do is take a leap of faith and hope it works. But if you ask me, Wade is worth taking a chance on. There are no guarantees in life, but he seems like a good guy.”
“Yeah, that’s true.”
“Besides, one of us should be getting laid on Valentine’s Day, and I didn’t put all those condoms in your bag for nothing.”