Only You, Only Us

Chapter 16

Istayed. I kept my promise, and I slept in his bed.

The party raged on, and Jeremy and his friends lived up to their reputation.

There were pills, weed, and alcohol, which fuelled the party until the morning. After smoking more than the last time I tried it, Jeremy gave me a pill, balanced on the tip of his tongue, before he kissed me.

But I didn’t care because I was already high. I was finally with him, without worrying about who was going to come in and ruin us. It was freeing. We were all laughing and drinking. It was the night we all wanted.

Until my head started to spin, and I wanted to throw up.

I got some water and went upstairs.

And now I’m looking up at the ceiling from his bed, still in my clothes from last night, and there’s no Jeremy.

When I saw his mum last night, I felt sorry for her.

And now, here I am, drowning in sorrow. I don’t even want to look at what’s outside the door. So, I stay in the room and take a hot shower instead, hoping to rid myself of this terrible headache.

There’s no sign of anyone as I creep outside of the bedroom. It’s like I’ve been caught doing something I shouldn’t, and I’m leaving the scene of a crime.

As I get downstairs, the scattered remnants of last night grow in quantity. People are still passed out on sofas, bottles of alcohol, cups, and food all over the place.

Finally, I find Jeremy with a few other mates outside on the lounge chairs. I consider waking him but don’t.

I just start the walk home.

“Hey, so, how was it?” Mum comes into the front room, a big smile on her face as I close the door behind me. Considering we’ve not been on the best of terms recently, it’s a comfort.

“It was good. Great, actually. I’m just tired.”

“I bet. But you don’t have to worry about getting up for exams now. You’re free. For a few weeks, anyway. Then we can relax on the beach every day if you want.” She heads back towards her studio. I’d not really thought about Cornwall with everything else going on. Perhaps Jeremy will come down, too. Then I can split my time with him and my mum like last year.

“What do you think about takeout, ice cream, and a film tonight? We’ve not done that in ages. Invite Sammy, too?” Mum calls.

“It sounds great. I’ll message her, but I’m not sure if she’ll have plans.”

“Then all the more ice cream for us.”

Mum had stopped inviting Jeremy to things. Not in a mean way, but perhaps in a way to limit how much time we spent with each other. It’s right there, desperate to spring from my mouth. What about Jeremy? But I keep quiet.

Sammy and I need to get back on speaking terms, and I couldn’t do that when he was around. Maybe I’ll tell her about the assault or what’s happened with Jeremy? But a part of me wants to keep it a secret. The more people who know, the more real it will be.

Sammy comes over. We talk, although it’s strained. I apologise, and so does she, although she has no reason to. There are other things to be said; we both know it, but we choose not to dredge it up. It’s as though we can both tell we need this time to heal before looking at the harder questions later.

We order pizza and share the biggest tub of chocolate fudge ice cream, and for the first time in months, everything between us feels right again. Having them around helps because Jeremy hasn’t called. No messages, nothing. But for tonight, I don’t need to worry about him because I have my best friends around me again.

There’s still nothing from Jeremy by the morning, and my irritation gets the better of me as I lob the phone across the room. Luckily, it lands against the pile of clothes on my desk chair and doesn’t break.

I drive over to his place and expect to see the carnage from the party still littering the place. “Hello?” I call as I open the door. It’s eerily quiet, but I stop dead in the hallway as I look around.

It’s immaculate. Everything is back to where it usually is, pristine and proper. I shake my head as I think about what his mother must have paid to have a cleaning crew in here to fix the damage because that’s the only answer to the mess I left.

“Anna?” Penelope steps through into the hall. Her hair is in a messy bun, and she’s wearing a long silk robe over her nightdress. It’s a little distressing, as I’ve only seen her look like she just stepped out of the salon — that or comatose on the bed.

“Hi, Mrs Archer.” I smile. “Is Jeremy here?”

“Archer? Somewhere. Can I get you anything?” She takes a sip of a tall glass filled with clear liquid and ice.

“I’m okay, thank you. I’ll just go and look for Jeremy then.” I edge away, heading for his room first, but with no luck.

I find him outside in the same loungers he was in when I left the party.

“Little Miss Anna!” Derek shouts as he sees me first.

Jeremy turns and smiles. “There you are.”

He sounds drunk or high, and it doesn’t seem to worry him or his mum.

“Hey. Have you been here all this time?”

“Have we, boys?”

They all start to laugh, and a few raise cans of beer in a toast. The air smells musky, and the ends of the joints I helped to smoke are still on the patio. My head drops back, and I stare up at the sky.

“Right, I’ll leave.”

“No, no, no… stay!” Jeremy protests. He stands and stumbles up to standing as he reaches me. “Stay. Please.”

I look at him and back to the bunch of friends.

“All right, boys, the party is well and truly over. Time to go.”

“Archer, man, seriously!”

“Pussy whipped for sure.”

“How are we meant to get home?”

They all start complaining loudly. Why does he put up with them?

“Order a fucking Uber, Doug, or walk. I don’t care.”

Derek stands first. “Seems like the host has had enough. Come on, boys.” He gives me a dirty look as he walks by. Jeremy would be better off without his so-called friends. They’re just scrounging off him.

We wait and watch as they drag themselves out. “There. Better?” Jeremy turns to me and rests his arms on my shoulders.

“Sort of. You need a shower. And to sober up. And I think you should check on your mum.”

“Check, check, and check. Are you staying then? Shall we get some breakfast?”

“Lunch? Breakfast was a few hours ago.”

“Right. Sure. Lunch.” He smiles and laughs it off.

“Do you know what day it is?”

“Sure. Saturday.”

I shake my head at him and go into the kitchen, heading for the coffee machine. “Go upstairs, shower, brush your teeth. The party was on Friday night. It’s Sunday now. You missed Saturday.”

Jeremy comes back down and finds me in the dining room half an hour later, and he looks suitably guilty.

I made a pot of coffee and sandwiches but won’t sit in the kitchen to eat or drink. I won’t spend a moment in there unless I have to.

“Hey,” he sounds sombre, and I’m glad.

“Coffee’s in the kitchen.” He leaves and comes back with two cups.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

I take a bite of the sandwich and nod to his plate. We eat in silence.

“I’m sorry. Things got out of control.”

I look at him and see the bags under his eyes. “I know. I was there for some of it.”

“It’s done. Over. We had the party, and now we can enjoy the summer together.”

“About that. I’ll be heading to Cornwall with Mum in a few weeks. I didn’t know what your plans were this summer, you know, with everything.” I reach for his hand, but he pulls it away.

“You’re going away?”

“Yeah. I always go with my mum. You know this.”

“I guess I thought it would be different this year. Besides, I have plans for your birthday.”

“Okay, but I’m sure my mum has too.” There’s an edge of irritation still in my voice.

“Not the same.”

“It’s not a big deal. I thought you’d be in the Cove anyway, so we wouldn’t be apart that much, and your mum might need a break.”

“My mum needs rehab and to be done with my fucking father.” He jumps up, knocking the chair backwards.

“Has something happened?”

“He’s just a bastard, and that’s not going to change.” He shakes his head and walks over to the window.

The memory of my father driving away switches on inside my mind like a lightbulb. “I’m sorry, Jere. I am.”

“So am I. I’d booked for us to go to London for your birthday weekend: hotel, afternoon tea, a show, all the stuff I thought you’d like to do but haven’t.”

My heart squeezes in my chest.

“I thought we could head to Cornwall after.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” I shake my head, half in disbelief but unable to deny the embers of excitement flickering to life.

“Because I wanted it to be a surprise.” He paces around the room, and the tension rolls off him, hitting me in waves.

“Hey. Look, maybe I can go with Mum for a few days, then come back, and we can do the London trip and head down to Cornwall.” I approach him and turn him around so he’s facing me. “That way, everyone wins?” I watch his eyes, looking for a spark of something as I run the logistics of the plan over in my head.

All this time, I was worrying about Jeremy, and he’s been planning the most romantic gesture, something I couldn’t have planned better myself.

He rests his head against my forehead, something he seems to like doing.

“I love you. It’s been a shitty few months, and I wanted to spoil you. We can do it your way as long as we’re together. Deal?” His hands slide around my neck, his fingers run through my hair, and I melt against him.

“Deal. Together.” I lift my head and kiss him.

“Together. Always. Come on. It’s a nice day. Let’s go outside and just chill.”

He’s right. The day is gorgeous. The sun is bright in the beautiful blue sky. He leads me over to another part of the garden, less vandalised by the party, and we lie out on the garden sofa.

The sun soaks into my skin, melting away the remaining tension. My head rests in Jeremy’s lap, and he’s playing with my hair, running it through his fingers and letting it fall where it wants.

It’s almost hypnotic. And it’s exactly what we need.

Before long, he stops playing with my hair, and it’s because he’s asleep. The rhythmic beat of his breathing keeps pace, and I find myself drifting off, too.

I wake with a start, a funny feeling coming over me. As I squint up, I see Penelope standing over us.

“Mrs Archer, hey.” I sit up.

“He looks so much like him.” Her voice is soft, almost whimsical, as she stares down at Jeremy. Then she looks at me, the softness in her face turning.

“I think I’ll go. Let him rest. I think he needs it. Will you tell him I left?”

She nods and keeps looking down at Jeremy.

I escape, feeling off about his mum. She must be sad and hurting, and maybe she resents me for what happened. I can’t help but think about my mum and how she was when Dad left. She was so strong.

When I get home, the house is empty, so I go to the kitchen and take care of a few chores. There’s not much in the fridge, but I plan what we could do for dinner when she gets home.

I have a smile on my face as I mentally run over all the plans for the summer and what we have to look forward to on results day. Then, the prospect of saying goodbye filters in. I’ve been able to put it off, but that’s getting harder now.

“Anna? You home?” I hear Mum come in.

“In the kitchen. I was going to make pasta for tea.”

“Hey.” She comes through with boxes in her arms and nods towards the studio.

“I’ll get started, and I can tell you all about the plans Jeremy has for my birthday.” I do a little dance as I grab the ingredients and start chopping some garlic.

“Did you say birthday?”

“Yes.” I stop and beam at her. “I was a little worried, as we’ve not been getting on so well. I know you know that. But he’s planned a trip to London to see a show, afternoon tea, the works.” Her face doesn’t mimic my excitement, and her eyes drop to the floor. “What’s wrong?” I ask, frowning.

“That’s very generous of Jeremy. Perhaps he should have checked before doing that, though. He knows we go away, Anna.”

“I know. And I’m sorry, but it’s London, and he’s got all these things planned. Besides, I can do both. Cornwall to start with, then back for London.” I beam, running over the ideas and images in my head: walking along the Thames, seeing him eat those miniature cakes in a posh restaurant or hotel, being alone, with nobody but us, like our own little world again. It will be a proper way to celebrate. We both need this trip.

“Well, you’ll have to tell him no. I can’t move the Cornwall holiday, and it’s your eighteenth birthday.” She raises her eyebrow at me as if telling me I should know better.

I grit my jaw. This isn’t fair. I told her we could do both, and she’s shutting it down.

“Shouldn’t I be able to choose who I spend my time with? I’m an adult now. I can make my own decisions. And it’s not like I’ve turned around and said I’m not coming with you. I’m trying to make everyone happy.”

“Well, that might be difficult, honey. You need to tell him no. You can do all those things another time.”

“This isn’t fair. I don’t want to disappoint anyone, and you’re making me out to be the bad guy. What’s wrong with going away with both of you?” I challenge, unable to keep the anger from my voice.

“This is our last holiday before you move away. I’ve been tolerant of your relationship, but I’d like you to respect my wishes.”

“I know you have, but I want to do this with Jeremy, too. And now all of this is making me feel like crap,” I shout.

“Doesn’t that tell you something, honey?”

“It tells me that you need to stop holding on to me. I’m going to uni in a few weeks. Missing a few days of our holiday isn’t the end of the world. I’m going to be leaving both of you, and right now, it’s like I’m the only adult in this conversation.”

She takes a moment and shifts on the spot. “If that’s how you feel. Fine.” She looks up at me as if she’s waiting for me to make a choice.

“It is.” But as I say it, pain tears inside my chest, ripping at my flesh. My mum is my best friend. I didn’t think we’d fight like this. I thought she’d see my point of view and be excited with me, not make me choose. It wasn’t even a choice in the first place; it was a compromise. And now I don’t even want to go with her at all.

She nods and turns away, back into her studio.

Anger and hurt rush into my chest as if I just broke something precious, but I’m too mad to feel sad.

I run out of the kitchen to grab my bag and keys and drive to Jeremy, tears threatening, which is absurd.

“Jeremy?” My voice cracks as I storm into the house. “Jeremy?” I try again, searching as a wave of desperation sweeps over me.

“Hey, what’s up?” he calls from upstairs, and I see him leaning over the bannister. “Anna?” His intrigue turns to worry as he jogs down to see me.

“I just had a huge fight with Mum.” Saying the words tip the tears I’d been holding in over to trail down my cheeks.

He pulls me into his chest and wraps me in his arms. It soothes some of my frazzled nerves, and the tears dry in my eyes. We stay like that for a few moments, and I let him sink into my very veins.

“Want to tell me about it?”

“I told her about your birthday surprise and doing both Cornwall and London. She said no and that I had to choose.” She didn’t say those words exactly, but it’s what it felt like.

“That doesn’t sound like Becca. I know you’ve not been getting on so well?—”

“She doesn’t want me to go to London, and I won’t have her tell me what I can and can’t do.”

“Okay. Okay. Hey, let’s go and chill out.” He takes my hand and leads me to the lounge. He sits down on the edge of the sofa as I flop down next to him. He takes something out of his pocket and starts doing something on the glass table in front of him.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“Getting us a little pick me up.”

I lean forward and see him crushing a white pill on the glass. He licks his finger before dabbing it into the powder and sucks it into his mouth like a lollipop.

“Your turn,” he says, coating his finger and holding it out for me. I open my mouth and lick it off with my tongue before I’ve even registered what I’m doing.

Our eyes lock, but I don’t stop. I hold his hand in my mouth and watch as his eyes storm and his breathing hitches. “Easy, Anna.” His voice sets something off in my mind, making me feel sexy and wanted, and that gives me more of a rush than anything I’ve taken. I continue to suck and lick. He leans back on the sofa and closes his eyes, and mine wander down to his jeans.

He’s excited, and right now, all I want to do is be close to Jeremy, so I keep going. I pull his finger from my mouth and let my hands travel to his jeans, tugging them down.

“Hey, we don’t have to do this?”

“Shh.” I smile and straddle his lap, hitching my skirt as I go. I don’t even bother to take my knickers off. I just want both of us to get lost in each other for a minute.

“Wait, hang on.” He grabs the base of his cock, and I lift up over him so I can take him in. It takes a little positioning, but he slips inside, and I slowly lower, taking him inside me.

“Jesus, Anna.” His hands move to my hips, anchoring me to him. “My mum’s in the house.”

“I don’t care,” I say as I rock forward, tilting and undulating my hips.

The slow and controlled doesn’t last long. I’m rushing for my own high before the drugs kick in, doing everything I can to make myself come apart. Jeremy’s hands dig into my skin, and I like the reminder that he’s in this with me.

“Mmmm,” I moan, but his hand flies up over my mouth, keeping me quiet. Only it’s sexy and naughty and quickens my pulse. I like this. I like being on the edge and feeling good.

I speed up my movements, desperate to come apart. The familiar fizzing in my veins starts and builds, and I want to cry out as it crashes through me, but Jeremy keeps his hand over my mouth.

My thrusts slow as the pulses of pleasure fade, and I open my eyes to look at Jeremy. His jaw is tight, his eyes hooded, and he looks devilish.

“My turn.” He lifts me and switches our positions so I’m on my back. He wastes no time ramming deep inside of me, grunting as he does. It doesn’t take long, and I study the chords of tension running down his neck as he finds his own release.

“Fuck,” he pants.

“We did.” I grin up at him, feeling ecstatic.