Restrictions (Sterling Family #2)

24. Asher

24

ASHER

I walk up the stairs slowly, wondering if Viv slept as shitty as I did last night. I tossed and turned all night, thinking about her body in that black bikini. About her hand sliding down my stomach and over my cock that was very, very hard for her.

I wanted her. Every single part of me wanted her, but I can’t do it.

I’m not Colt, and I’m not Linc. I need to figure out who the fuck I am, and screwing Viv wouldn’t help that.

Especially because I know enough about myself to know I don’t want a commitment.

I hear Baz laughing before I hit the top stair, and that sound alone always brings a smile to my lips. When I enter the kitchen, I feel Vivienne’s death glare from across the room where she’s slicing an apple.

Well fuck, I don’t think any man wants to see a woman he pissed off the night before with a knife, especially with the way she’s looking at me.

She is most definitely pissed-off.

I make a beeline right to Baz, and he lights up instantly, already dressed for the day in little jeans and a polo shirt. “Mornin’, little man.”

“Morning,” he singsongs as he digs into his cereal. He turns around, sitting on his knees in the large wooden chair, peeking around it to look at his mom. “Mom! Uncle Ash can go with us to the zoo! ”

I look over at Viv, who has her shoulder-length hair perfectly straight with not one strand out of place and dressed in a yellow long-sleeved top with a high neckline, hiding all her assets as usual, but at least the shirt isn’t baggy and clings to her impressive chest. She also has jeans and tennis shoes on, all ready for the zoo.

She brings the apple over to Baz, placing it next to his bowl on a paper towel. “No, honey. I’m sure Uncle Asher has class.”

“Not until late this afternoon. I can fit the zoo in.”

I have no idea why I said it. I should welcome the space, but there is this insane pull with Viv, no matter how hard I think I want to push her away. I always end up begging her to come back.

“Yay!” Baz looks happy, and Viv is really staring daggers at me now.

“Sweetie.” Vivienne takes a seat in the chair next to him, and I can see she’s going to try her best with reasoning with him. “I think it would be better if we go by ourselves.”

She doesn’t look over at me. She’s really that pissed-off at me? After what she said? Reminding me that my brother has been inside her, and I haven’t? That she let go with him?

I swallow, thinking about her words. And I’m convinced I’m in fact a Colt replacement for her too. My eyes darken, as I watch her failing with her attempt to reason with Baz. “Why can’t he go, Mommy? I want him to goooooo.” He lays his head down on the table, just barely missing his cereal bowl.

“Baz, sweetheart.” She places a hand on his back and sighs. “Uncle Asher needs a timeout.”

Now her cold eyes meet mine as Baz lifts his head and looks over at me. “Why? What did you do?”

I nod over at Viv, my jaw ticking with anger leftover from last night. “Why don’t you tell him, Viv?”

She huffs, folding her arms and looking away from me and to Baz. “He just hasn’t been very nice.”

Sebastian raises his little eyebrow and looks over at me, clearly confused, and I shake my head. “That’s not true. I just won’t play with the toy your mom wants me to play with.”

Her eyes widen with rage, her lips parting with surprise as she closes them and drops her arms to her side, threatening to kill me with her eyes .

Baz really looks confused now. “Why? Toys are fun, Uncle Asher.”

You don’t have to tell me, kid. I try not to think about how much fucking fun I could have playing with Viv.

“Use me like he did.”

Fuck!

Her words from last night haunt me as I stand up, and Viv replies to Baz before I can, but she’s not really talking to him as she stands, her chin lifted with strength I would be proud of her for if it wasn’t so irritating. “They can be, but I think I’ll find someone else to play.”

Double. Fuck.

The thought of someone else playing with her sends me into a rage that even I admit is totally unfair.

Her eyes never back down, and I turn to Sebastian. “Well, sounds like that’s settled. Mommy will play with someone else.” My eyes meet Viv’s “So I can go to the zoo.”

She’s really pissed now, but all Baz heard was that he got what he wanted so he jumps out of his chair and does a little happy dance.

“Yes! Zooooooo.” He walks to the counter, grabbing his little sunglasses, the kid actually has several pairs, but this one has black frames with blue sides. He slips them on over his eyes, and I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face.

The kid is way too fucking cute.

“Lookin’ good, kid.” He grabs a larger pair next to them and hands them to Viv. “Here you go, Mommy.”

“Viv walks to him, reluctant to be near me and takes the brown pair from him, letting them sit on top of her head.

“We’re ready!” Baz is excited.

Viv, not so much.

“Uncle Asher, you need sunglasses.”

“I have some in my car.” I turn to Viv. “I’ll drive.” I have a car seat already in my car for whenever I take Baz somewhere or pick him up.

Yeah, she’s definitely contemplating homicide, but I couldn’t give a fuck. She needs to learn now, I’m nothing like Colt.

We drive to the zoo, Baz singing in the car seat happily the whole way. By the time we get to the tiger cage, the frustration level has raised to its highest peak.

Baz is jumping around, staring through the tiger cage when Viv, keeping her voice low, can’t seem to take it anymore. “What is the matter with you?”

I turn to look at her. “You need to be more specific because that could take all fucking day.”

She rolls her eyes. “Coming along to the zoo today. You couldn’t have just said you had a class?”

“I’m not lying to the kid to make you feel more comfortable.”

“But you’ll tag along after last night just to make me feel even more uncomfortable?” She turns to check on Baz. “Sebastian, please be careful.” She looks back at me when I speak.

“You’re uncomfortable?” I glare at her, thinking about how fucking bad I wanted her. Her gnawing on her fucking bottom lip. Testing ever single bit of willpower I have. I talk through clinched teeth, trying to keep my voice low, “Should I remind you that you’re the one who was discussing when you fucked my brother?”

“You’re the one with issues about Colt. It wasn’t him I wanted to fuck me last night.”

Damn, she’s gotten bold. And I need to watch it because her confidence definitely makes my dick hard. And the zoo is not the best place for that. I swallow, turning to see Baz walking along the bench in the tiger observatory and then back at Viv. “And I still don’t believe you.”

“Believe whatever the hell you want, Asher. You’re not the one who’s been humiliated over and over with constant rejection all because what? I’m the mother of your nephew?”

“That makes you family.”

“Fine. I meant what I said this morning. There are plenty of playdates out there.”

I don’t want to hate that as much as I fucking do, but no doubt she can find some asshole to use her. “Yeah, but do you really think you’re okay with being used and tossed to the side? Or worse, fucking broken?”

She shakes her head. “The toy analogy is getting a little old. But you know what, Asher?” She pokes my chest with her finger. “Yeah, I’m second hand. I’ve been through it, and I’m fine. Maybe a little worn and broken but still good.”

I look at her pretty face and scan her body slowly before meeting her eyes again. “You’re anything but worn and second hand. ”

“But broken?”

“We’re all broken from the first fucked-up thing our parents do to us until the day we die, pieces are just chipped away.”

I hate that her eyes are wet with unfallen tears but then notice the panic overtaking her face as she searches. “Sebastian?”

I turn around and look for my nephew also, seeing he’s nowhere in sight. “Baz!” I shout, looking around.

Viv moves away from me, looking around frantically as I go in the opposite direction, looking around as we both call for him.

Okay, it’s okay. He’s somewhere. Viv and I meet in the middle, and she looks damn near to collapsing, her hand closed in a fist in her hair. “Where is he?’

“He’s probably hiding. He loves to do that.”

She shaking as she turns her eyes, searching as she calls, “Sebastian?”

I take a deep breath and walk around the area we were in. “Sebastian? Where are you? You’re way too good at this game, buddy. We give up.”

I hear his giggle, and I swear to you my heart skips a beat as relief floods me, and I go behind a cardboard cutout of a butterfly the zoo has with holes cut out for pictures. Baz is ducked down behind it as Viv runs over to him, scooping him up into her arms. “Oh my God, Baz. Don’t ever do that to Mommy again.”

Baz looks confused because to him, he was just playing a fun game, but the terror I felt was no doubt amplified by a hundred for Viv. “I just playing, Mommy.”

I sweep my hand over his hair. “That’s more of a game for at home, buddy.”

Again, he looks irritated this time as he forces Viv to let him down and folds his little arms. “I just playing.”

Viv kneels down to look him in the eyes. “In crowded places, you have to stay with Mommy. Okay?”

He nods, dropping his arms. “Okay. Fine.”

Viv looks up at me, and in that moment, we call a truce.

Because Sebastian is more important than anything else to both of us.