45. Vivienne
45
VIVIENNE
I haven’t seen Sawyer for a few days, and Asher has been completely avoiding me. Lola went back to California, and Nora is leaving tomorrow.
So Baz is staying with her tonight.
It hasn’t really gotten any easier to be away from him overnight, but I know he needs this before she moves. They both do.
I called Sawyer, and we’re going out to dinner. I have no idea where this is going with him, but I know I want to get to know him better.
And I know I need to stay away from Asher, at least as much as I can.
Thankfully, he’s not home when Sawyer picks me up, and I try to ignore the dull ache in my gut, thinking about where he might be tonight.
Sawyer’s smile is beautiful as he opens the door to his car, his eyes momentarily lingering on my neck. And I freeze, hoping he doesn’t say anything. The mark from Asher’s mouth has faded, and I tried to cover it with makeup, but it’s still there.
The floral sundress I'm wearing does nothing to hide it.
He clears his throat as I climb in, but he doesn’t say anything and closes my door, walking over to the driver’s side .
“So, what do you feel like eating?”
He’s not going to mention it. Maybe he doesn’t care. Maybe it’s too awkward to bring up. Or maybe he left his own mark on someone else since our date, but his complete silence about it seems off.
Sawyer rarely holds back.
It’s one of the things about him that makes him attractive.
“Anything is fine with me.”
He drives, and I feel the awkward silence threatening to swallow me whole. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked him out until the mark on my neck was completely gone.
He parks the car at one of my favorite Mexican restaurants, and I wonder silently how he knew I loved this place. But he doesn’t turn the car off, and neither of us move.
“I already knew, Viv.”
My heart threatens to explode in my chest as I try to remain calm. “What?”
His eyes meet mine, and he doesn’t look mad. “I know you fucked him the night we went out. He told me.”
My hand creates a fist in my lap. I’m going to knee him in the balls next time I see him. “He what?”
Sawyer’s shoulder kicks up in a dismissive shrug. “It’s fine. I don’t own you. We went out on one date.”
“A great date. That ended in a fantastic kiss.”
And it was. “Right.” He grips the back of his neck with his hand. “I guess I got you all warmed up for him.”
I feel a pang of guilt as I shake my head. “No. It was... what I did with him was...”
“Stop.” He’s not angry. He really doesn’t appear to be affected at all. “Viv, you don’t owe me shit. We aren’t in a committed relationship. We went out on one date.” His hand drops, and his lips are pulled up in a sexy smirk. “I may not like that his hands were on you, but you don’t owe me fidelity.”
“I . . .” I’m not sure what to say.
“Look, I like you. Which is really kind of a mindfuck. I’m not used to that feeling. And I’ve done a lot of fucked-up shit.”
“Two sisters?” I grin, and he shakes his head, matching my smile .
“Yeah. It wasn’t a rumor. And I played it off, saying they both wanted it, joking about it and acting like it was on them. But the truth is,...” he swallows, and I see remorse in his eyes, “one of them was really hurt. The one I had been casually fucking for a year or so.”
“She cared about you.”
I watch his Adam’s apple bob up and down in his throat. “She shouldn’t have. But yes. And I fucked her sister to push her away. Because I know that shit is unforgiveable. And I wanted her to hate me.”
“So, you’re saying you are just as much of an asshole as I am?”
He laughs. “You’re the furthest thing from an asshole, and what I'm saying is... I know until we get to a place where we’re firmly committed, if we ever get there, I don’t own you. You can do whatever you want, but I want to get to know you. I want to see if maybe I'm capable of that, but I'm afraid I’ll hurt you too.”
“So, you’re saying you want to take this slow?”
His head nods. “Yes. Very slow. I’ll never forgive myself if I hurt you.” His smirk is back. “Of course, if you’re in need of a dirty fuck, I'm most definitely in for that too.”
I laugh, but there’s a flutter low in my belly thinking about it. Wondering what he’s like in bed. Is he gentle? I can’t imagine he is. Does he have a sensitive side? Or is he playful? Rough? “I would be up for that.”
He smiles again, and it is so damn beautiful. “Still. You’re a mom first. To a fucking phenomenal kid.” His smile only brightens when he talks about Baz, and again I feel the flutter, but this time it’s in my chest. “I mean, he’s so smart and funny. I don’t like kids, Viv, like at all. I usually find them boring and annoying.”
I laugh and shake my head. “You’re terrible.”
He laughs with me. “But Baz. I love that kid.” His eyes land on mine. “I don’t want to do anything that hurts him.”
“We’ll take it very slow, and I'll guard my heart.”
His hand takes mine, and I can’t deny the electric jolt I feel at his touch. “I want to get to know you and see if this is real or just an attraction.”
I nod. I thought I was in love with Asher, but maybe it was like he said, and I was confused by us living together, being friends, having sex, and raising Baz together. Anyone could get lost in all that .
“I think that’s a good idea.”
He leans closer to me, and his lips press against mine softly, but then his fingers thread through my hair, and his kiss becomes more passionate as his mouth ravages mine. Then he pulls back slightly, leaving me breathless and wanting more.
“This is a really weird time to tell you I got a job offer, right?”
I place a hand over my thundering heart and try to catch my breath. “Um...no. That’s great. Where?”
“California.”
I start laughing, probably way too hard for the situation, but I can’t help it. “You are such an asshole.”
He laughs and leans his head back against the seat. “I was going to tell you right away, but I couldn’t stop thinking about your neck.”
“Well, at least you didn’t wait to tell me until I was naked.”
“Is that still an option?” His eyebrows raise, and I playfully smack his chest. “I don’t know if I'm going to take it. I really do want to get to know you and moving across the country could fuck that up.”
I laugh again. “It could.” My eyes meet his. “Do you want to take it?”
“I did. But then I kissed you again, and God, I want more of that too.”
I unintentionally bite my bottom lip, thinking about kissing him more. “I do too. What kind of job?”
He laughs, his head resting against the headrest as he looks out the front window. “Real estate with Linc Sterling.”
My jaw drops. “What?”
His shoulders lift with laughter. “I shit you not. Our fathers are friends, and mine mentioned Linc was in real estate in California, so I gave him a call a month ago. He said he would get back to me, and he did.”
“Linc hates his father.” It’s all I can say, and honestly, I don’t know why I said it.
“Yeah, we have that in common.”
“Wow.”
He nods. “He said he can give me time to decide.”
I can’t let him turn down a job for me. “That’s great.”
He smiles and casually turns his head to look at me. “You hungry? ”
I nod, and we continue our date, going into the restaurant hand in hand.
I have no idea where this is going, but I do know I want more of it.