Chapter Nineteen
Ryder
She was trying to kill me.
All week, she showed up at the bookstore as soon as I opened, wearing an outfit designed to make any red-blooded man stand up and take notice.
And my dick certainly noticed and stood up.
On Monday, she wore a dress. It was red and flowed around her legs when she sauntered around. She flirted with Romeo, dancing around the fucking store. Every time he spun her around, the dress flared out so much I got a glimpse of her black lace panties.
Romeo was fucking lucky he was standing too close to her to see anything.
Tuesday, she walked in wearing shorts that barely covered her ass, a skimpy tank top that molded to her breasts, and her hair piled on top of her head. For hours, I stared at her neck. Call me fucking Dracula because all I could think about all damn day was sucking on it.
Wednesday, she painted her jeans on before coming to work. That was the only explanation for how they fit her. Her boots went above her knee, which only pushed my focus to her ass when she turned around. And don’t get me started on the sweater that kept falling off her shoulder. She wasn’t wearing a bra. Not that she ever really needed one. Her tits were small enough. Just how I liked them.
And yesterday, she showed up in a tight skirt and a fucking button up sweater. Her hair was in a bun, sporting those sexy glasses I had forgotten about, that she hadn’t worn since that first day I met her. She looked like a fucking librarian. Of course, not one we’d ever had. The woman in charge of the library in town was nearly a hundred years old if she was a day.
But today.
Good God.
Today, she was in tight bike shorts and a sports bra. When she walked into the store this morning, I couldn’t pick my mouth up off the floor.
“What the fuck are you wearing?” I asked.
“What?” She looked down at her clothing. “We have a lot of stuff to move today. I’m going to get hot and sweaty, so I figure the skimpier the better.”
She fucking shrugged, like she didn’t know what she was doing.
Like hell she didn’t.
The door jingled, and Sam and Beck walked in with not two, but five of the Silver Shadows. And that was aside from Blade and Jack.
Five fucking bikers were going to be looking at my girl all goddamn day.
Your girl? You didn’t want her, remember? You didn’t want anyone again.
Shut the fuck up , I silently told myself, then groaned.
Great! I’m fucking talking to myself.
“Why are you all here?” I asked, trying to keep my voice even.
Blade and Beck caught it immediately. Beck looked at Ellie and then back at me and smirked. She opened her mouth, and I cut her off.
“Don’t fucking start,” I groaned, shaking my head.
Blade would not let it go.
“Hey, brother, thought the girls could use some muscle to get things set up for tomorrow,” he said, his grin so wide you could sail a yacht through it.
Romeo, Zero, Mimic, Shotgun, and Banshee stood inside my store. Their eyes glued to Ellie’s ass while she was bent over unloading her books from the boxes.
I walked over, standing in front of Banshee, and blocked his view.
“You are old enough to be her fucking father,” I growled. “Have some goddamn respect. All of you. If you aren’t here to work, then get the fuck out.”
“You heard Bookboy, everyone. Let’s get to work.” He laughed, slapping me on the shoulder.
Grayson and Hudson Johnson walked in, and Ellie ran over to say hello.
“Hey, Grayson. How are you?” she asked, like she was very familiar with him.
“Hey, Ellie. You make your decision yet?”
What decision was she making and why the fuck does he know about it when I don’t?
Ellie looked over at me, sighed, and turned back to Grayson.
“Nope, not yet. I am leaning toward what we talked about but waiting to see what happens tomorrow before I make my final decision.”
Decision about what?
I watched as they talked. Grayson introduced his younger brother.
“Brother, what are you waiting for?” Romeo asked.
He had stepped up behind me while I was watching Ellie.
“Lock her down, man. If you don’t, someone else will. Tomorrow, every brother in the club will be in and out of here all day. Someone is going to snatch her out from under you,” he informed.
“Can’t.”
“Why not? Your girls seem to love her. I was here the day you came home. You didn’t see what I saw.”
“What did you see?” I asked, turning to face him.
Not sure what he meant, but my mind went to the worst-case scenario. It always did when it came to my girls. My natural inclination was to protect them at all costs.
“When we got here, Chrissy and Tabby were about to run off with Charlie, and Blade called them out for ignoring him. Chrissy, of course, ran right over. But Tabby, nah, man. She looked to your woman for permission.”
“What? She didn’t need permission to go to Blade.”
“She knows that. But little girls often look to their mamas for permission before going to anyone. Didn’t matter to her that she’s known Blade longer. She was making sure her mama said it was ok, because she trusts her to keep her safe.”
“Ellie’s not her mother,” I muttered.
“You sure about that?” He lifted his chin in her direction.
I turned around, and for the second time today, I had to pick my jaw up off the floor.
Ellie was still talking to Grayson and Hudson. I hadn’t noticed Avery had brought the girls in. Tabby sat on Ellie’s hip, and Chrissy stood pressed up against her leg. Ellie’s hand lay on the back of Chrissy’s head, letting my little girl know she was included. She was wanted.
My breath caught in my throat.
My feet moved without thought. I walked over to where Ellie stood with my daughters. Slipping my arm over Ellie’s shoulders, I pulled her into me. I leaned over and kissed her head.
She looked up at me and smiled.
That smile was everything. She didn’t hand Tabby off like Tammi would. She didn’t push Chrissy off her like Tammi would, and she wasn’t flirting with Grayson or Hudson like Tammi would.
Ellie wasn’t like Tammi at all. The two were night and day. I could see that now.
“Hey, Grayson, I need to steal Ellie for a moment. There is something we need to work out.”
“No problem. We need to get back, anyway. Hey, Ellie, tell Jessie I said hi,” Grayson said with a wink.
Ellie just smiled and told him she would be sure to do that.
“Hey, girls, can you go see Uncle Blade for a minute while I talk to Ellie?” I took Tabby from Ellie’s arms and placed her on the floor.
“Ok, Daddy. Come on, Tabby.”
Tabby looked at Ellie, “Go ahead, beautiful.”
Chrissy grabbed her sister’s hand, and I watched them grab a book and walk to Blade. He scooped them up, carried them to the couch, and sat down to read to them.
I needed to talk to him, too.
Later.
“Let’s talk in the office,” I said.
I pulled her along behind me, locking the door so we wouldn’t be interrupted.
I walked over and sat on the edge of my desk and held my hand out to her. She placed her hand in mine, and I tugged her close until she was standing between my knees.
Sitting on the desk like this, we were almost eye to eye.
“Do you know why Tabby looked at you for permission before going to Blade?” I asked.
She looked down between us.
“No. I haven’t done anything to make her think she has to do that. It started while you were in the hospital.”
I placed a finger under her chin and lifted her eyes to mine.
“I was talking to Romeo, and he seemed to think that little girls always look to their mom for permission before going to anyone. Because they trust their mom.”
“Ryder, I have never said anything to them about being their mom. I wouldn’t do that—”
“Ellie, shh… I know you wouldn’t,” I assured her. “Do you want to be their mom?”
I held my breath and waited for her answer.
“I love those girls, Ryder. But…”
“But? But what?” I asked, trying to hold my temper back.
I knew this would happen.
I knew if I opened myself up again, I would get hurt.
“But they have a dad,” she said.
I kept my mouth shut. I needed to know where she was going with this. Did she want my girls, but not me? Was she only using me to get close to my girls? My back teeth hurt as I clamped them together, waiting for her to finish.
“I’m not so sure I can have them in my life if I can’t have him,” she said quietly. “I don’t think he wants me.”
“Oh, my beautiful girl, he wants you. He wants you more than he has ever wanted anyone, and that fucking scares him,” I said, talking about myself in the third person.
“What are you afraid of, Ryder?”
“You, Ellie. You terrify me,” I told her honestly. “The way I feel about you. If I let myself love you, and you left. I wouldn’t survive it. And the girls, they can’t lose another mom. I know the one they had sucked, but she was still their mom. When she left, Chrissy cried for days, and Tabby hasn’t talked since.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Ryder. For two years, I have been traveling all over the country looking for a home. A place to belong. A place to have a family. I wasn’t just talking shit the other day. All I have ever really wanted was to be a wife and a mom.”
She leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine.
I pulled her up against me. I knew we had a store full of people, but I didn’t care. I needed her right now.
My lips made their way down her neck. Lifting her sports bra, I took a nipple into my mouth and sucked on it.
“Ryder,” she gasped. “Everyone is out there.”
“Don’t care,” I said, not letting go of her nipple.
My hands caressed down her back, my fingers sliding beneath the waistband of her bike shorts. I had begun my descent down her legs with her shorts when there was a loud bang on the door.
Thank God I had the forethought to lock it.
Ellie pulled away, righting her clothes.
“Hey, Ry. Jessie’s here to see Ellie,” Blade called from the other side of the office door. I could hear the smirk in his voice.
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” I snarled, narrowing my eyes at Ellie. “You said he was busy until tomorrow. What the fuck is he doing here?”
“I don’t know. Let’s go out there, and I will introduce you. Jessie is my best friend.”
“You are not having a guy for a best friend, unless he is gay, or he’s me,” I growled.
She smiled.
Fucking smiled at me.
“Let’s go,” she said, grabbing my hand and unlocking the door.
I stomped past her angrily.
“Where the fuck is this Jesse?” I yelled.
“Right here, asshole.”
I looked at the tiny woman standing in my store.
“Who the hell are you?”
“I’m Jessie.”
She stood there with her hands on her hips, glaring up at me.
“What kind of bullshit is this?” I turned around to look at Ellie. “You said Jesse was a man.”
Ellie pulled her lips between her teeth. I could tell she was trying not to laugh. The rest of the assholes filling up my store made no such attempt. They made their amusement at my expense known loudly.
“I never said Jessie was a guy.”
“Yes, you did,” I argued.
“I didn’t. I never said Jessie was a guy. Rachel led you to believe she was a guy, but I never confirmed nor denied that belief,” she said, smiling at me.
I looked at Sam and Beck, both of whom were pretending to be overly interested in the box of books they were unloading.
I smiled right back. She thought she was smart. I walked over to her, leaning down against her ear.
“You think this is funny? Was this your way of pushing me to act? You will pay for your part in Rachel’s deception with my handprint on your ass,” I whispered.
She shivered against me, and her cheeks turned red.
“Did she know?” I asked, hitching my head in Jessie’s direction.
Ellie just nodded.
“Hey, Jessie,” I said, my eyes still on Ellie.
A smile spread across my face as I thought, payback’s a bitch .
“What?” Jessie asked.
I turned to look at her.
“Grayson said to tell you he said hi.”
Her eyes widened, her mouth dropped open, and her face turned red. She turned on her heel and marched out the door. My laughter joined my brothers’. I would make it up to Jessie later, when I properly met and got to know my girl’s best friend.