Sinful Touch : A Dark Professor Romance

16. Liliana

Istop on the sidewalk outside of the bookstore. I can’t believe what I just saw. He pushed her away.

Jaxon Fox will always have fans, girls, who want him because of who he is.

I know he was going to try to explain, but I can’t hear it right now. All I can hear are the voices in my head reminding me that I am not good enough.

No one is ever going to want you, daughter; look at you. Can you blame them?

What do you expect to happen when you look like that? It would be best if you ate less Liliana.

Stop acting like a victim, you aren’t a victim, this is happening because of you.

Why do you make me out to be the bad guy, I am your mother. I am just trying to help you.

Go upstairs and change, and do something with that hair you look disgusting, did you even try?

I cover my ears with my hands and slam my eyes shut as the rain starts to come down on me. My mother was right. Who would want me? Look at me.

Jaxon can have whoever he wants. Why in the world would he want to stay with me?

I signed the contract, after all. Maybe that means I can’t have anyone else but him, but he can have whoever he wants. What if I never showed up here? What if he never saw me, would he have pushed her away? Would he have reacted that way to her, or would he be in the back right now doing whatever he wanted to do?

I saw it in her eyes and the way she spoke to me; They had slept together before. Maybe he has slept with her since our first encounter. I want to ask him, but I am afraid of the answer. I am afraid of looking him in the eyes right now because I know if I look into those deep green eyes, I will not be able to hide the throbbing pain in my chest right now.

He would see that I am an open wound to him, he will see that I am not strong, that I am beyond insecure, he will see that I am in fact in love with him, and I will see that he doesn’t feel the same about me.

I signed the contract, singing myself over to him. Maybe that is all. This is a business transaction between two adults, and eventually, he will move on, just like he has with all the other girls he had signed the contract with. I took their place, and someone will take mine; it is just the way it is.

“Liliana,” Jax says from behind me.

I take in a deep breath, I stand still as he makes his way around me stopping in front of me. He grabs onto my wrists, forcing me to lower my hands.

I look at his chest, seeing the tip of his tattoo peaking out from underneath his white button-up shirt.

“Will you please look at me, Darlin?” he begs me. I hate this so much.

I shake my head, I don”t say a damn word. I already feel like an idiot, a foolish little girl.

“Lil, she means nothing to me,” he confesses. I can hear it in his voice. He is telling the truth, but my mind doesn’t want to listen. This will end; it will all come to an end eventually.

“Did you sleep with her?” I ask, hearing my voice crack.

“Darlin,” He whispers.

I finally look up at his face; his eyes are pained as I search for them.

“Have you slept with her, Jax?” I ask again, knowing that his answer is going to shatter me.

He slowly nods “Before you, yes.”

“How about after me?” I ask.

“What? No,” He says, shaking his head.

I nod and don”t say anything else, I slowly back up forcing him to let me go.

“You should go back in; they are waiting for you,” I say, motioning towards the door.

Jax walks into me. I turn my head and take in a deep breath.

He leans in, resting his lips against my ear “Please, Lil, don”t leave.”

“I think it is best,” I whisper.

“Why?” He asks. I can hear the anxiety and worry in his voice.

I pull back and look at him, “Because Jax, I am in love with you, and I can’t sit back and watch all those girls fond over you, touch you, and not be able to do anything.”

“Lil, I am yours,” He confesses.

“In theory, yes, in public and to the world, no. We are both each other’s dirty little secret.” My words hurt us both.

“Don”t do this,” He begs me.

“I can’t do this, Jax; I’m sorry. I’m walking away before we both get hurt,” I confess to him.

I see the tears forming in his eyes, making my heart ache. This is for the best.

I slowly back up and walk around him, I run across the street pulling my hood over my head. I wrap my arms tightly around myself.

“Liliana!” he yells, but I don”t stop. Instead, I sprint in the direction of campus.

This is for the best.

I pull out my student card and swipe it on the lock. It clicks. I grab the doorknob and turn it, opening my dorm room door. On the ground is a note with my full name on it.

I take in a deep breath as I lean down and grab the note, shutting the door behind me.

I walk over to my dresser and pull open the top drawer, grabbing my metal box.

I make my way into the bathroom, turn on the light, lean my back against the wall, and slide down it.

The tears now escape my eyes and roll down my face.

I open the note my heart races as I look over the words

Liliana,

Did you really think he would stay faithful to you? Why would he look at you and look at him? Why would he ever choose you when he can have them all?

I drop the letter on the floor and open the metal box. I grab the razor and set the box next to the note Chad left for me.

He is right.

I close my eyes and place the razor against my skin. This is the only way I know how to make this throbbing pain go away.

I was a stupid foolish girl, why would he want me when he could have them all?

I push down on the razer, and my heart races so fast that I can hear it in my ears.

A shadow kneels in front of me pulling my attention away, I open my eyes and see Jax kneeling in front of me.

He grabs the razer and gently takes it from my hand, placing it back into the metal box.

I watch him closely as he picks up the letter and scans the words. His eyes quickly meet mine.

“How long has he been leaving you letters?” He asks in a quiet, enraged tone.

I don”t respond. My answer will change nothing.

“I love you, Liliana Silver. I have loved you since the first time I saw you,” he confesses.

My heart now racing for a whole new reason.

“I’m sorry about the girl. She means nothing to me. You mean everything to me, Darlin,” he says, allowing me to see that he is also an open wound to me.

“I am no different than the others,” I whisper.

“That is not true. You are different. You are different because I need you. I wanted them.” He confesses, his voice breaking with the last few words he speaks.

“Jax,” I whisper as I slowly get up, forcing him to stand.

“You can’t leave me, Liliana, please,” He begs me, showing me his pain, his anxiety.

“I can’t compete with them,” I confess to him.

“I don”t want them,” He says quickly, trying to reassure me.

“You don”t want this, me, I am a mess, look at me”

He walks into me, pinning me between the wall and him, “I am looking at you, Darlin”

“Please let me go before I hurt you.”

“Hurt me, curse me, do whatever the fuck you want, but I am not going anywhere,” He says as he plants his hands on either side of my head. He leans in and smashes his lips to mine.

A moan escapes me as I melt against his body.

He reaches down and grabs onto my wrists, pulling them over my head, pinning them against the wall, as he pins me harder against the wall.

I can feel his heart beating as fast as mine, us becoming intertwined, becoming one.

Sinful touch, that is what he has, a sinful touch that is going to burn me from the inside out, and I am going to let him.

A sinful touch that is going to destroy both of us.

A sinful touch that has condemned us both.

I pull back, breaking the kiss, and both of our breathing is unstable. “Let me love you, Darlin. I promise never to hurt you.”

I don”t respond. I just lean back in and connect my lips to his.

I pull back this time. He releases his grip on me, grabbing my hand and forcing me away from the wall. We exit the bathroom and head towards my dorm room door.

“Where are we going?”

“Home, “ He says calmly.

He opens the door and forces us both to exit. We head down the hallway and stairs and out of the front doors.

Parked right in front is his bike.

He releases my hand and makes his way over to the bike, grabbing the bike helmet. He turns and hands it to me as if it is the most normal thing in the world to do, I pull it over my head, and Jax gets on the bike and turns it on. I grab onto his shoulders and swing my legs over, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist; he takes off, controlling the bike with one hand and resting the other on my lower thigh, making butterflies swarm in my stomach.

I don”t know what he has planned, but whatever it is, I have a feeling it will change everything.