Skies Over Caledonia: A Small Town Marriage of Convenience Romance (The Highlands Series Book 4)

Chapter 34

Icouldn’t stop shaking.

As I strode back into the farmhouse, Allegra’s wedding band burning in my palm, it felt like every muscle in my body was tremoring.

The house echoed as I walked aimlessly through it.

All day I’d felt certain about what I needed to do. That I needed to suggest some time apart so we could know for sure that marriage was what we wanted. Fuck, what Allegra wanted. I already knew I wanted it.

But I should have known with her history that she’d see it as an excuse for me to end things. And I didn’t do a good enough job of explaining because I was afraid she’d just insist she wanted me without thinking it through.

Like I knew her mind better than she did. Fuck. I’d made the decision without actually talking it through with her. No wonder she’d just ended it entirely.

I felt sick.

Because while an hour ago I was so certain suggesting a break was the right thing to do, now I felt like I just self-sabotaged.

Gripping my head, I stumbled into a kitchen chair.

Why couldn’t I tell her I loved her?

Because you’re a chickenshit. You’re terrified.

People you loved either disappointed you or they left you.

“Fuck.” I was so fucked in the head.

Allegra’s tear-streaked face appeared behind my eyes every time I closed them. I’d hurt her. I’d devastated her. Why hadn’t I thought about how this would seem to her? To a woman who had been abandoned and used … I’d done this all wrong.

Dread swamped me.

My phone blared from the kitchen table, making me jump.

Reluctantly, I pulled it toward me and saw it was Sarah calling. The woman had a sixth sense.

I answered, putting the phone on speaker. “Sarah.”

There was a beat of silence, then, “What’s wrong?”

“I fucked up.” I exhaled shakily. “Sarah, I really fucked up. I’m fucked up, I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Talk to me,” she said in that calm, gentle voice. “Tell me what’s going on.”