Someday Never Came

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Avoidance.

Avoidance is the one talent I mastered over the years. I avoid the truth of my disease—my weakness—and I avoid receiving help. I avoided everything about my alcoholism for so long, but in this moment, I’m avoiding my own damn house as if the bubonic plague is festering from within. In reality, it’s Wyhtt’s words from last night, still racing through my mind, that send me speeding away from the house this morning. The woman I love is somewhere within those walls, just as much in the dark now as she was ten years ago. Partly for her own good, and partly for my own selfish reasons.

I spend the majority of the morning and early afternoon in AA meetings, going as far as to book an emergency counseling session per Grayson’s suggestion. I listen as the counselor tells me coping skills and suggests staying home to avoid any additional stressors. As the day go on, Wyhtt’s caution turns into alarm bells in my ears.

Grayson continues hovering with a worried look plastered across his face, which isn’t helping matters at all, even if his worry is justified.

“Stop looking at me like I’m one small inconvenience away from another episode.” I warn.

“Ahh,” he begins.

“And don’t say you aren’t. I see you looking at me. You might be the sniper, but that doesn’t mean I’m blind.”

Grayson’s protest dies on his lips, quickly replaced with guilt. “I’m sorry. I’m just worried, you are so close to being sober for six months. Today is going to be a challenge for you.”

“You don’t think I know that?” I ask, growing frustrated. “I’m fully aware of what’s at stake.” Who is at stake, I remind myself. A future too good to be true is coming together before my eyes, it’s only a matter of keeping my shit together long enough to live it. “I got this.”

The look on his face tells me he’s anything but convinced as we walk back to Grayson’s F150. Holiday traffic is a bitch to get through as every soul in the county makes their way out into town. The festivities don’t start for another hour, but that doesn’t stop anyone from celebrating on their own it seems. Knowing Serenity would be growing impatient at my lack of an appearance throughout the day and cutting it close to kick off time, I shoot off a text as we pull into the driveway.

We are here. Took longer than expected. Forgive me?

Only forgiven because I spent the day on the beach with Wyhtt…

Promise to make it up to you, okay??

I can think of a few ways ;)

I am sure you can…

The front door swings open as Wyhtt and Serenity appear. Wyhtt’s in a red, white, and blue star-spangled cowboy hat. Serena’s in a red tank top that brings attention directly to her perky breasts, blue jean shorts, and giant flashing American flag glasses. Both wave a small flag while singing the national anthem that continues the whole trip back into town.