The Heartbreak Hotel (Sandy Springs #1)

Chapter Nineteen

Ella

Ella wasn’t surprised when Riley didn’t show for yoga class, but it still hurt. Had what she’d said to Pauline affected her that badly? Or was something else going on? Ella had only meant for it to be a joke, not taken to heart, but watching the replacement instructor in Riley’s space at the front made dread sink deeper into her stomach.

The woman, Jane, was nice enough, but she wasn’t Riley.

Sleeping in her own bed had felt strange, too, without Riley’s long, warm body to snuggle into.

Better get used to it, she supposed. Her king-sized bed was waiting for her back in England, but she’d give the world’s comfiest mattress a miss to be able to keep sharing Riley’s.

She tried to focus on holding her balance, but her shaky breathing threw her off, and she nearly toppled over. Jane’s attention landed on her, but she forced a smile, hoping she wouldn’t come over and give her any advice. She didn’t want to speak to anyone.

She couldn’t spend what was left of her time on the island like this.

Jane closed the session, making a joke that made everyone laugh but made Ella even sadder, and people started packing away their mats. Ella lingered at the back, dragging her feet, when a familiar oversweet perfume bombarded her senses. She looked up to find Pauline, wearing fluorescent green-and-yellow spandex with a black kimono. It was giving funeral and eighties disco all in one. But the woman’s face was the most surprising. Her dark eyebrows were drawn together worriedly, the frown lines etched deep beside her mouth. After a quick glance over her shoulder proved that no one else was around, she leaned in to whisper, “Ella, I think I might have done something to upset Riley.”

Her mouth wobbled. Her pleading eyes full of concern. Dammit. The fact that Pauline was blaming herself for this just made Ella feel even more terrible. She fought the pricking sensation forming behind her own eyes, but it was no use, and a lone tear slipped down her cheek before she could brush it away. She pulled her oversized hat down over her face. She’d worn it in an attempt to make Riley smile, but now it doubled as a shield from prying eyes.

But Pauline jumped into action, her own sadness vanishing as she wrapped her arms around her, suffocating her in her bosom.

“Oh, sweetie. What’s wrong?” She gave Ella another squeeze, making her grunt, then tugged her away from the courtyard.

With their roles now reversed—Ella being the sniffling snot monster while Pauline encouraged her on—Ella hardly registered where they were going until they stepped inside. Pauline’s cabin was immaculately clean, with not a sock out of place or a single crease in the bedding. But the collection of flowers and home-crafted items dotted about the space made it feel very homely. Ella recognised some of the designs from the local markets, the colourful patterns and detailed craftsmanship. Had she bought all of these?

“Take a seat, bestie.”

Ella sniffed, catching a strong whiff of Pauline’s perfume, which seemed to pillow out from every direction. She didn’t want to sit on the bed and ruin it, so she perched awkwardly on the end of the wooden frame.

“What are you doing?” Pauline asked, peering at Ella hovering over the bed like she was about to squat and cough. “Sit your bottom down. ”

Ella did as she was asked, and another tear slipped down her cheek.

Pauline collapsed on the mattress, legs kicking in the air. She righted herself, blew out a breath, then commanded Ella with her eyes. “Tell Pauline everything.”

Ella didn’t have it in her to comment on Pauline speaking about herself in the third person or tell her how much she shared her mother’s inherent love for gossip. It was hard to find any words in the depth of all the sadness swallowing her.

“I’m sorry, Pauline,” she started, unable to look the woman in the eyes.

“What are you sorry for?”

“I owe you an apology. I’ve not been fair to you.” A swell of emotion rose in her chest, and she bit her lip. “I shouldn’t have made those comments about Riley to you. They were untrue, but I didn’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings. I was just deflecting and making a joke.” She forced her eyes to meet Pauline’s. “And I’m sorry if that hurt you. You’ve been a good friend to me since being here. And I’ve just been a cow.”

“You haven’t.”

“I have, and I’ve been selfish—”

“Listen.” Pauline pressed her lips together, then breathed a long, heavy sigh, taking Ella’s hand in hers. Ella tried not to mind that it was clammy. “Thank you for your apology. I appreciate that.” She paused, selecting her next words. “But I won’t have you talking negatively about yourself. I know I’m not the easiest person to be around, but you’ve been kind and listened to me talk about Albert. You carried my suitcase and gave me a shoulder to cry on, and I won’t let you think you’re not a good friend to me, because you are. You’ve a good energy around you.”

Ella laughed, sniffing loudly. “You’ve been spending too much time with Senhor Arenoso.”

“Maybe a kitten’s whisker. Anyhoo, do you want a tissue? I have plenty.”

Ella accepted and dried her eyes, allowing her body to relax. Relief swept over her. She didn’t want to be the reason that anyone else was upset; Riley was bad enough. Her face drooped, and Pauline poked at her mouth with a plump finger.

“What happened there?”

“Sorry.” Ella rubbed the spot she’d touched and sighed.

“Is this about Riley?”

Ella hesitated. As much as she’d grown to like Pauline, Riley didn’t want anyone to know about them. If she wanted to leave the island on good terms and protect Riley’s job, she needed to keep it a secret. “No,” she said, wiping at her eyes with her sleeve and hoping Pauline hadn’t noticed the long pause.

“Probably for the best. I am a nosy Noreen, but I’m not the best at keeping secrets. Albert would attest to that. I told everyone we knew about his affair in our family Christmas card. ”

Ella glanced at the woman, seeing her in a different light. She might have her flaws—the wailing, snotty crying, and gassy tendencies—but she had a kind heart. “Sounds like Albert deserved worse.”

Pauline’s mouth erupted into a toothy grin, and she pulled Ella in for a hug. “There she is. My bestie’s back.”

Ella chuckled into her shoulder and then hugged her, wondering how Winnie was going to take the news.

After chatting for a while longer and after Pauline had tried on different outfits for the fire ceremony at the end of the week, Ella left her cabin feeling reenergised. Patching things with Pauline had been the hors d’oeuvre; now it was time for the main. She just needed to find Riley.

A funny feeling lingered in her belly. One she couldn’t quite place. But if she’d learnt anything on this island, it was to listen to herself and follow her heart. Senhor Arenoso had been right. Ella had many reservations and had put walls up, trying to protect herself, but they’d just stopped her from getting what she desired. She didn’t want a quick fix anymore. She wanted something that would last.

She wanted Riley.

She let out a laugh, a mixture of relief and amusement, because the very idea that Ella had fallen for her was both ridiculous and oh-so-predictable. But she didn’t care what her mother or even what Winnie would think. Yes, admittedly, she still had plenty to work on, but this time, she wasn’t shying away from it. And a connection like theirs came once in a lifetime.

Ella knew what she wanted; she just hoped Riley knew too.

She pressed her nose up against the cool window of Riley’s cabin, knocking her hat to the floor. The lights were dark, but she just wanted to be sure, in case—heaven forbid—anything had happened to her. Her heart sank a little. The fact that Riley had had a day off today without saying anything felt…strange. Was she reading too much into this? Being too forward? She didn’t want to be too much and scare Riley away.

Her heart skipped in her chest as her mind tried to pull its old tricks on her.

But she took in a breath, refocused, and remembered what Senhor Arenoso had said to her. Surrender to the process. If she followed her heart, she could leave the island with no regrets. No matter what the outcome was, she would survive. She always did.

She wouldn’t let her brain get in the way of her trying.

With newfound focus, she looked out over the sea, breathing in the fresh air. Where would Riley be? She picked up her hat and started walking, hoping her intuition was right.

A short while later, feet in the sand and the sea breeze in her hair, she tilted her head up to the cliffs, catching a head of familiar blonde hair. Riley. Her heart skipped a beat, insides squeezing. All the confidence she’d felt on her walk over drained out the soles of her feet .

You can do this, Ella.

She walked towards the rocks, nerves building with every step. Memories of stumbling up these boulders after Riley had rescued her played in her mind. The electricity that’d warmed through her veins just from being around her—maybe from the near-death adrenaline, too.

Her fingers gripped the rough grooves, and she pulled herself up, the sun warm on her back. She remembered it being trickier than this, but maybe that was because she’d been terrified of falling and crushing the handsome yoga instructor. But no, she felt stronger. She was stronger. Both mind and body.

She could do anything. Even super scary things like telling Riley how she felt about her.

With a heave, she approached the top and found a hand waiting. She looked up and met cool, blue eyes, almost stilling her heart.

“Need a hand?” Riley asked.

She pulled her up and set her on her feet. Ella smiled when she didn’t move her hands away. The time apart must have done them some good.

“I’m sorry about what happened with Pauline.” The words burst from her throat like gunfire. “I had a really nice talk with her, and we’re all good, and I just don’t want anything to come between me and you, ever. Which I know is a bold statement considering I’m leaving in less than a week. But it’s true. I really like you, Riley.”

Riley gave her a dimpled grin, her hands tight on her waist. Paint licked up her arms with a small spatter on her jaw. “I really like you too, Ella.”

Looking into Riley’s eyes, Ella felt buoyed by the gentle waves, swallowed in the blue depths. Caught in the swirl of blue, brown, and green, she could quite happily drown.

But the next words left Riley’s mouth, and a cold wave crashed over her.

“But there’s something I need to tell you.”

Riley’s mouth had lost its smile, her eyes abandoned their sparkle. All the lead weight in Ella’s chest returned, almost buckling her knees.

She hated those words. Those words never bore good news, especially not when they began with “but”, the worst conjunction in the English language.

It was lovely to meet you, but unfortunately, you’re not a match for our company.

I love spending time with you, but I think we should just be friends.

I love you, Ella, but sometimes things happen. You know Annabelle, the receptionist…

She steeled herself, stiffening in Riley’s grip. Her defensive walls twitched, ready to spring into action, pack the cannons and get ready to fire. But she steadied her breath and waited for Riley to continue.

“I should’ve told you earlier, but it’s really difficult for me to say.”

Ella’s stomach dropped. Please don’t be married. But when Riley’s eyes filled with tears, she softened, caressing her cheek .

Riley leaned into the touch, breathing deeply, and then her eyelids fluttered open.

Ella thought she was going to be sick.

“Four years ago, a car accident changed my life.” Riley blew out a sharp breath, her voice wobbling. “Me and my ex were leaving her parents’ house. The country roads were challenging at the best of times, never mind in the dark, but Elodie knew them like the back of her hand.

“Then someone tried to overtake us, but the cars came together, flying through a wall and crashing in a farmer’s field.” Tears fell down Riley’s cheeks. Ella brushed them away with her fingertips, her chest tightening at the pain in her voice.

“The crash…was horrific. Luckily, all we came away with were a broken bone, scrapes, and bruises. But the other car…they weren’t so lucky.”

“Oh god.” Ella held Riley tighter while she collected herself.

“The driver was fine, but the passenger… The kid was only ten. The way the car folded trapped him in his seat, and he had to have his leg amputated. I can still hear the screams, the sounds, every year.”

“Riley, I’m so sorry.” With the slightest tug, Riley collapsed into Ella, knocking her hat onto the ground. She wound her arms around her.

“That one moment changed everything.” She sniffed. “My whole life. Everything. I lost everything.”

She buried herself into Ella and let the tears fall. Ella held her tight as a soft sea breeze fluttered around them. She didn’t know how much time passed until Riley pulled back.

“Do you want me to take you home?” Ella asked.

Riley rubbed her red nose, her skin blotchy from crying. She pressed her knuckles to her eyes. “God. I don’t want anybody to see me like this.”

“Here.” Ella plucked her hat up off the ground and placed it on Riley’s head. She let out a soft laugh; it didn’t suit her, but it’d do the job. Then she covered Riley’s painting with the sheet, careful not to look at it, and packed her paints into her bag for her.

They walked back to the cabin mostly in silence, other than Riley’s directions to avoid the busier path. Riley’s quiet sobs filled the air occasionally, and Ella gave her hand a quick squeeze.

Once back inside the walls of her cabin, Ella caught sight of the two canvases Riley had propped up on the bookcase. The day in the groves came swirling around her. It had felt like a milestone in their relationship: opening up, spending time together, feeling somewhat normal. The fact Riley had displayed the two paintings side-by-side, one a masterpiece and one a blotchy mess, squeezed something deep inside her. That day must’ve meant something to her too. It gave her hope.

But then Riley let out another heartfelt sob, and Ella brought her into her arms, rocking her as she nestled into the crook of her neck. This wasn’t how she’d expected their encounter to go. Her heart hurt for the woman weeping in her arms, but she had more questions .

“I’m sorry you have to see me like this,” Riley mumbled. “The anniversary, it just brings everything back.”

“You don’t have to apologise,” Ella said, pulling back and brushing the tear-soaked hair from Riley’s face. “I’m glad you’re telling me.”

She nodded, eyes red and puffy.

“You can tell me anything, Riley. I care about you.” Their eyes met, and Ella saw an emotion she hadn’t seen there before. Something darker. She remembered to breathe, then reached for Riley’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “If you’re ready to talk, I’m ready to listen.”