34. Eva
Chapter 34
Eva
I jerked awake in Bash’s arms, his gaze already on me. I hated that I felt relieved to see the swirling blue and green of his eyes, even as the way they had turned ice blue last night flashed in my memory.
Whether he saw the look on my face or felt my recollection across our bond, Bash’s face went bleak. “Eva?—”
I didn’t let him get another word out before I kissed him, swallowing whatever he was about to say. Muffling the apologies for something he had no control over as he tugged me even closer.
Pulling back, I traced the side of his jaw, his stubble scratching against my fingertips. “I hope you know better than to apologize again.”
His face was pale, his eyes dark with the rage that he was just barely keeping in check. Shadows twisted around the edges of him, wrapping around my arms and my wrists in an unusually unchecked claiming. But their soft caress could never feel like the bonds that had caused the white scars they now covered.
Bash blew out a breath. “If he does that again…”
“He won’t,” I said with more confidence than I felt. “We were unprepared and exhausted. And he took advantage.” My mouth spread in a slow smile. “Though is there somewhere you prefer I stab you if there is a next time?”
He let out a low laugh, those swirling eyes slowing as I felt his amusement break past that wall of self-reproach.
“Speaking of which,” Bash said, wincing as he stood. “I should probably have Marin look at my leg after I shower. And also, you.” His eyes flicked to the bruising on my neck, a shadow crossing his face. “I’m going to kill him slowly.”
“I’ll ask Quinn to take a look if it makes you feel better,” I said softly. “Besides, we should probably fill them in on what happened before we get going.” Stretching, I asked, “Do we need to hurry?”
He shook his head. “We won’t leave until after breakfast, so we have some time to get ready.”
Bash peeled back the sheet covering me, scooping me up in his arms. “I could use some company in the shower though, hellion…just in case.”
He carried me into the shower despite my protests, not setting me down even as he turned on the water, which streamed down like rain falling from the ceiling. Drops clung to his lashes as he kissed me, and we lost ourselves to each other amidst the steam and suds.
My anxiety had turned into a frenetic hum by the time I got downstairs—the need to get going, get moving, that we had delayed too long, blaring through me like an alarm. There had been no word of Aviel’s movements during our time in Esterra, but I knew Bash’s network of spies had been mostly depleted; recalled for their own safety as Aviel cracked down. Yet he had to know we were racing him to the mirror that would decide the very fate of this realm.
Our visit to Esterra had been necessary. But I couldn’t shake off the feeling that we were already behind.
Marin immediately zeroed in on Bash’s limp as we walked down the stairwell. I ducked from beneath his arm, walking over to where Quinn and Tobias sat at the breakfast table, dressed in similar fighting leathers to mine, swords strapped to their sides. My own adamant sword peeked over my shoulder, my dagger at my hip. Their eyes widened almost comically as I unzipped the front of my jacket to expose the bruising on my neck and the mostly healed bite mark on my shoulder.
Tobias’s eyes flashed with pure white light. Quinn immediately reached for me; her voice full of rage. “What happened?”
I told them a condensed version as her hand hovered over my skin, the soothing sensation of her magic immediately clearing the remaining aches of my injuries. With a sigh of relief, I pressed my hand against the now healed wound atop the raised scar—the embodiment of my terror, Aviel’s casual cruelty, and my nightmares all carved into my skin in one permanent mark.
My brother’s jaw flexed as he started peeling a clementine in one long spiral, just like he used to when we were kids. I smiled at him despite the look on his face.
It fell away, replaced with a frown as I took him in.
Tobias’s eyes narrowed. “What is it?”
“Where’s your dagger?”
The faintest hint of pink dusted his cheeks. “Quinn needed one. I let her borrow mine, since apparently these,” he gestured at the sword on his hip, its hilt matching the ornate looking dagger on the opposite side, “are family heirlooms.”
“I offered to find another,” Quinn said airily. “There’s plenty to choose from in the armory.”
Tobias stared at her intently. “I’d rather you keep mine safe for me.”
Their eyes met, and a flush darkened Quinn’s cheekbones. Her lips parted slightly as neither looked away.
I cleared my throat, trying not to smile. “Does the sword have a name?”
Quinn jumped slightly, turning to me. Tobias still watched her as he said quietly, “Duskbane.”
“Seems fitting for you then,” I said as I stared at the clear stone on its hilt. “I wonder if mom ever used it.”
Quinn nodded at the basket-hilt of my sword. “Did you name yours?”
“I haven’t yet,” I admitted. “Though that feels like bad luck going into battle.”
I jumped slightly as Bash set a loaded plate of food in front of me—poached eggs on fresh bread with crumbled cheese on top, a medley of sliced fruits, and a few thick slices of bacon on the side. Everything I would have picked had I been the one choosing. Bash kissed the now hidden mark on my shoulder before nodding his thanks to Quinn. His hand rested on my collarbone, one finger gently grazing against her handiwork.
“If only someone hadn’t already taken Shadesong,” I said teasingly. A smile quirked Bash’s lips, and I knew he was remembering our first nights together as we journeyed through the Faewilds, the name of his dark sword one of a million whispered topics.
“Darkbringer,” Marin called out.
Yael looked thoughtful. “Nightreaver?”
“Nightshade would be a good match,” Quinn said thoughtfully. “Both for your magic, and because you’re just as deadly.”
“They grow around here,” Tobias murmured. “In Soleara.”
For a split second, I saw a small, star-shaped flower I had once tried to pick. My mother smiled down at me as she told me it was both beautiful and deadly.
“A dangerous mix, and one that is not to be trifled with, Evangeline.”
“I like it,” Bash murmured.
I smiled up at him. “I do too.”
“If that’s settled…” Bash placed my fork in my hand. “Rivan’s readying our horses, but it’ll be time to leave soon. Once you’ve eaten, we’ll?—”
“I can eat on the road,” I cut in, even as Bash’s hands pressed into my shoulders before I could stand. “I’m not making a literal army wait for me, not when we’ve taken too long to?—”
There was a loud crash in the hallway from the mirror. Rivan burst into the kitchen, his chest heaving. A ripped piece of parchment dangled from one hand.
Bash rushed over to him. “What happened?”
“The False King,” Rivan panted, and my stomach plummeted. “His army’s already on the move. They crossed the Nahar confluence to reach the Mountainborn river.”
The air itself seemed to freeze as we stared at each other in shock.
“Then we’ve lost our lead,” Yael said bleakly. “Though with the time it’ll take them to cross the western pass…”
Marin came up next to her, looking pale. “It’ll be close.”
“How did this happen?” My voice sounded foreign, removed, like the question had come from somebody else even though I felt my lips move. “I thought…”
“Queen Sariyah’s troops should’ve been there by now,” Bash said, looking stricken. “How could she not warn us?”
Rivan held up the stained parchment. “They were ambushed. By the time someone was able to alert us, the battle was already lost. The False King did something to keep messages from escaping. The same reason we weren’t told when he left Morehaven.”
“A spyfinder,” Bash spat, though his self-condemnation lay heavy across our bond. “He used it once during the last war. All communication under the area of his spell first goes to him. But the price for that magic is in lives willingly given. To stretch across that radius…”
“His supporters have waited a long time for this moment,” Yael said quietly. “And desperate people lead to desperate acts.”
Tobias gestured to the parchment still clutched tightly in Rivan’s hand. “And Mayim’s forces?”
Rivan slowly shook his head. “The survivors are few, but the queen is among them.”
My voice broke as I asked, “How few?”
“Hundreds,” he whispered, his eyes lowering. “Out of thousands.”
Blood pounded in my ears. The room seemed to go out of focus as my stomach heaved, like I might throw up the few bites of breakfast I had managed to get down.
Thousands dead.
And it was all my fault.
The back of my throat burned. I hadn’t realized how much I was holding on to the hope of beating Aviel to Adronix—to gain the power to stop him before anyone had to die because of me—until it was torn away. That the real battles wouldn’t start until after I was ready. I hadn't realized I had been clinging to the thought that I didn't have to make this choice yet; that there was still time left to make it to that mirror and fix my fate. After all, the sprite had told me my future wasn’t yet set in stone.
But it felt like that destiny had shifted, had solidified like a spear of my darkness before finding its way into a heart. I had a way to end this, no matter how much I wanted it all to be different. A future that seemed more certain with the added weight of each life I had been too selfish to save.
If I hadn’t been so na?ve as to think we stood a chance of everything going to plan, Aviel would be dead in their place. Instead, he had slaughtered thousands while I had been basking in my anima’s arms this morning. While I had been happy .
Dread devoured me, eating at my insides until there was nothing left but a hollow pit where hope once lived. I knew what I needed to do—I just wasn’t ready to do it. But if I waited until I knew for sure, waited until it was the only choice left…I could no longer fool myself about what the price would be: more innocent lives, when so many already weighed heavy on my conscience.
And what if I was only delaying the inevitable? Clinging to one more day, then another as we chased Aviel on parallel paths north?
Unless I stopped him now, once and for all.
Bash’s eyes snapped to mine, and I knew he had felt whatever maelstrom I had sent across our bond. Sucking in a breath, I tried my best to tamp down on it. Hiding away any further hint at what now felt inevitable even as I prayed he attributed my reaction to what had happened.
“This is a setback, not a defeat,” Bash said firmly, and I felt my blood thrum at the power in his tone. “We still have two armies. One to take Morehaven. The other to destroy the force heading to Adronix. Aviel’s route is more treacherous, not to mention his forces are recuperating from battle. We still have a chance of heading him off.” His eyes swirled violently, like a storm about to strike. “So we do what we do best. Fight. Get into that mountain and take down an empire.”
Yael released a subdued sigh. “One impossible thing at a time, huh?”
Bash’s face was solemn as he nodded. Then he reached out a hand, his fingers entwining with mine as he helped me to my feet, his worry coursing across our bond.
I forced myself to relax, forced myself to nod even as I felt something inside me go cold and still. Trying my best to seem fine when I just felt fractured.
There was a slight stickiness where Bash’s palm touched mine. I looked down to see four half-moon marks where my nails had bitten into the rose scarred there, painting it with my blood.