14. Up to No Good
“Paul, what are we doing?”
Paul led her below deck, causing confusion. They were on a three-hour cruise around Oslo fjord on the royal yacht. It was another event in the run-up to tomorrow”s long-awaited wedding. Today, was the celebration with other royals and close family friends. As Malcolm was in the wedding and Winston was Kiersten’s distant cousin, the Fergusons were aboard.
“Everything is going on upstairs?—”
“I don’t care about everything. We have childcare. Everyone is distracted. I haven’t had you to myself for fifteen minutes in how long?”
Sanne bit her lip. Paul kissed her, pushing her against a doorframe. It felt delicious. He was right. The last six months of their life were utter chaos. For some reason, they decided to throw in a second baby. It turned out Sanne and Paul were both a sucker for babies. One night, Sanne confessed she was desperate for another. Paul obliged. Two weeks later, they looked at two lines on a test wondering if they were ready. It was still early days, but Sanne started showing soon after they found out.
She was in good company, too. Despite the poor timing, Kiersten announced she and Olav expected a baby a few weeks after Sanne and Paul were due. Paul wasn’t here to talk about that. He was up to absolutely no good with his hand up Sanne’s dress—not even trying to hide his motives.
“Paul, we should find a room,” Sanne said.
“Fine.”
Paul pulled Sanne into a guest stateroom and shut the door. He pinned her back against the wall fumbling with her panties until pulling them aside.
“Paul, I am in no shape for you to fuck me against a wall. And I’m not sure you should do that in a boat?—”
“A ship, Sanne,” Paul joked. “And I wouldn’t dream of it.”
He dropped to his knees and got to work. It was fabulous. The last few months were punctuated by amazing sex all over their cottage and then over the country. Yes, the new workload was massive, and it remained stressful, but their renewed commitment and understanding that life was too short seemed to energise them. Sanne gave over to the feeling of love and admiration Paul gave her. It was risky. This wasn’t their boat, it wasn’t their day, and they were on borrowed time.
“Oh, fuck,” Sanne moaned. “God, just… fucking don’t stop, Paul.”
Paul’s tongue continued its work as his fingers slid in and out of her in perfect rhythm. Sanne pushed against the wall, enjoying every bit. She held his hair, pressing her hips towards him as she got closer. She felt the feeling of heat rise up her chest to her face. Like a wave crashing ashore, she came hard and fast, shouting his name.
Sanne was left panting. Paul stood and pulled her chin towards him.
“Good?”
“I should ask you,” Sanne said.
“Oh, I’m lovely. And tonight I will get my payback.”
He kissed her, then slapped her ass with a cheeky grin.
“Damn you,” she giggled. “God. I was trying to behave myself.”
“Nah. Don’t act like you don’t like to fuck me in public. Always have, always will.”
“Are you sure you don’t want more?”
“No. I don’t. I will get mine later.”
Sanne shook her head. “What is it?”
“I hold absolute power over you now,” Paul noted. “Because all you will do is think about this and what I did to you. You’ll try to play the prim-and-proper princess knowing full well I did this and you let me. Not only that, but you enjoyed everything I did.”
“I hate that you are so good at this. I always have.”
“You just screamed my name. So, yes, I’m sure you hate it.”
She rolled her eyes. She loathed and loved him all at once when he did things like this.
“I know you are having a flashback to wedding mode, I’ve taken you out of it, and you gave over to me within a moment’s notice. Sanne, don’t act so morally superior.”
She giggled. “I am not. And, yes, there is not a wedding that goes by that I don’t have flashbacks to being the girl with the clipboard.”
They walked back, passing a line of staff who seemed to know what was up. They would look the other way and say nothing. On deck, people circulated. Trays of delicate canapés held by footmen were carried. Champagne flowed. Sanne was disinterested in most food but found a tray of chocolate mousse and decided to double fist.
“How will you eat that?” She heard someone say in Norsk.
She turned to see her mother standing there.
“Oh, I don’t know,” Sanne replied. “Can you hold one?”
Elisabeth rolled her eyes but held one of the small pots of mousse so Sanne could eat the other.
“Where is the baby?” Paul asked.
“With your sister.” Elisabeth nodded left.
Natalie chatted with George, Keir on her hip.
“It’s fucking adorable,” Sanne sighed. “Just adorable.”
“I don’t think she’s sat him down for half an hour.” Elisabeth chuckled. “Adorable is right.”
Sanne finished off the first pot and discarded it. She took the other, walking towards Natalie and George. Paul and Elisabeth engaged in an intense conversation with Olav’s brother, Prince Peder, about rigging sails. It was a snoozefest.
“Oh, look, Mummy’s here,” Natalie cooed.
She could be intensely sweet with Keir when she was up to it. She had her days where she turtled, but more often, she played the world’s greatest aunt.
“Where did you run off to?” George snickered. “We saw you leave. Did Paul decide to give you a tour of Kiersten’s new toy?”
“First of all, Kiersten could give a flying fuck about this ship,” Natalie said. “Second, what are you insinuating brother?”
Ed snickered.
Sanne couldn’t hold back a laugh, either. “Yes. It was a rousing tour.”
She finished the second mousse.
“You two are shameless. I commend you. Unrelated but have you seen either of my children or my husband?” George asked. “I have lost track of them. I was very distracted by your adorable son.”
“I know. He’s painfully cute. I get nothing done most days.” Keir reached for his mother, causing her to scoop him back and kiss his cheek. “No, I haven’t seen Pat or the kids. If I had to guess, they’re with your parents.”
“Let’s go find them,” Ed said. “I wanted to ask Pat something.”
The men filtered off.
“Where is your husband?” Natalie asked. “What, you two went off, had a quick shag, and then he deserted you.”
Sanne snickered. “No. He’s having an active discussion about sailing with Prince Peder and Mamma.”
“Has she been sailing much?”
“Ironically, she made friends with Peder and Olav via Kiersten. Planning their wedding made her so happy. I don’t think Kiersten knows how much it meant to Mamma, but it cheered her up in dark days.”
“I suspect you’ll be back more now.”
“I think so. Especially this summer. It will be nice to see Marie more now that she’s coming to stay.”
“I was told she will be in London a bit, too.”
“We will keep her for a moment.”
“Bring her out to Windsor and stay with us. We can do a girl’s night. Put the boys to work watching the baby,” Natalie said. “If we’re lucky, we can get Lucy to come down, too. Like old times.”
“That sounds like a lot of fun,” Sanne said.
“What now?” Lucy approached.
Niall was on her hip, his usual smiling self.
“I was saying we could get you to come down from Scotland for a girl’s night. The boys can watch the babies.”
“I like that idea,” Lucy said. “As long as your Mum’s chocolate chip cookies come into play, I’m down. We should ask George and Pat when they will be around. The girls would love that.”
“Oh my God, yes!” Sanne laughed. “I want all of this to happen. Total girls’ night!”
“Let’s make it happen then,” Natalie booped Keir’s little button nose. “Sorry. It’s just there. Too boopable, buddy.”
“Nat!” George waved.
“What!?” She shouted, walking towards him.
“It’s so beautiful here,” Lucy murmured. “Look at that, Niall. Look at the little island.”
“How is Nat?” Sanne asked Lucy.
“She is handling it well,” Lucy replied. “I know it’s never easy for her.”
“It wasn’t easy to find out Kiersten and I were pregnant in a couple of weeks,” Sanne said. “I told her before I told anyone but Paul because… I didn’t want it to be a surprise. I’ve also felt like shit.”
“I know those feels,” Lucy admitted.
“It comes in waves. I feel like that on days like this without my mom,” Sanne admitted. “She loved Oslo. I was born here. I have so many pictures of us all here in the summer. It’s a head trip to think that dream is dead and that Keir won’t ever have the summer pictures we did or that Marie does.”
“Life moves fast.”
“It felt bleak last year, didn’t it?” Sanne asked.
Lucy shrugged.
“I”m feeling better now.”
Lucy stared off over the bow. She didn’t say yes. She didn’t motion.
“You alright, Luce?”
Lucy shrugged. “It’s complicated. Scotland is… it’s not my home. It’s sort of how London doesn’t feel like home to you. I know it’s stupid given how important it is. Why should I complain? I have everything.”
“Oh, Luce, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t tell Nat I said that. She goes ballistic worrying about me. Someday, I fear she will fly a plane into our back field and kidnap me back to London with nary a word.”
Sanne snickered. “But would you fight her?”
“Somedays? No. Many days.” Lucy sounded distant.
“Lucy, you’re always welcome. We’re moving into Duncan and Rebecca’s old digs at KP. We will need the room. Come visit or stay with Nat and Ed. They would never tell you no.”
“I know,” Lucy said. “Thanks. I appreciate it. Winston has his sanctuary to run and it takes up all his time. Tearing him away is impossible.”
“Life is too short to be miserable, Lucy,” Sanne said. “I hope you can find something you love about it. I think buying our house in Whitstable was the smartest thing we ever did. Listening to the sea soothes me. It will never be home like Lake Michigan feels, but it does me some good. Paul tried hard to build me a retreat. You need to find that space too, okay?”
Lucy nodded, tears welling. “Uh, I’m going to go… walk.”
“Okay,” Sanne turned to Keir.
Something had to give. Sanne’s heart broke. She could tell things weren’t great. Lucy and Winston had been somehow distant since they arrived. She wanted to shake Winston and tell him that Lucy suffered while he went on about his life as if nothing happened. She knew he cared about her. She knew Lucy was bad at asking for help.
And, unlike Paul, Winston seemed unwilling to see the crisis befalling him. Paul had seen Sanne languishing in London. He knew she missed the shoreline and a simple town and wanted to raise the children like normies. So, he decided they would house hunt in Whitstable, a beautiful, idyllic little village on the Kentish coastline. Its cheerful fishermen’s cottages and beautiful views were a balm for Sanne. She was only ninety minutes from London and could still feel normal. Lucy, however, was a city mouse who hated the countryside. She had the opposite problem. Sanne hoped the two could reach an equitable agreement before resentment brewed.
“Come here,”Ed took Natalie’s hand.
“Edwin, you hate to dance.”
“I do, but you love it, so come here,” Ed pulled Natalie to the dance floor. “Why didn’t you come get me?”
“Because I didn’t want to seem needy.”
“You are allowed to ask for a dance. You’re my wife, last I checked.”
Natalie beamed, her smile radiant. She couldn’t have been more beautiful than at this moment. Ed was filled with adoration and nostalgia. He didn’t mind a dance if it made her happy. He wanted nothing more.
“You’re so dashing in this tux, it makes me want to go find a place to shag,” Natalie laughed. “Don’t we always do that at weddings?”
Ed thought a moment. “Kind of, I guess?”
“We did at Gerry’s and Sanne and Paul’s.”
“We’re terrible people.”
Natalie smiled slyly. “Who thrive on maybe getting caught and causing a scandal.”
“Given Olav’s naughty texts caused a scandal but didn’t stop the wedding, we’re gonna be okay.”
Natalie saw her sister dancing with her new husband. Ed saw the same thing, a happy memory in the making.
“That was us once,” Natalie sighed.
“Uh-huh,” Ed said. “A little over two years ago, I married you in front of billions.”
“And thus began your regret,” Natalie joked.
“Never. I have zero regrets—apart from the fact that I didn’t get to marry you the first time around. Of course, I learned how to be a better human by learning how not to have a marriage. Still, I wish it had always been you.”
“Says the man who shouted at me upon finding my identity one morning.”
Ed chuckled. “I was livid.”
“Not too livid to avoid me.”
“The chemistry was undeniable then as it remains now.”
The music slowed. Natalie moved closer, resting her head on Ed’s shoulder.
“My neck hurts,” she groaned.
“That thing must be heavy.”
For their anniversary, Ed gifted Natalie a particularly nice bit of jewellery. His grandmother left him a small fortune. Given how hard the last year was and how strong she remained, he felt no one deserved spoiling more than she did. And, quite frankly, his grandmother would be proud to see a good bit of coin now decorating the head of a princess. She always did like the royals.
“It’s beautiful, though,” Natalie said. “You know I am still unsure of diadems, but… it is fabulous. I love a belle époque tiara.”
“So said your mother,” Ed chuckled.
“Scale of 1 to 10 how much did you shit your pants when you found out what a tiara cost?”
“It was closer to a 10 than a one,” Ed chuckled. “And yet, I didn’t mind. Natalie, you have always been there when I needed you and stuck by me. You always will. I could not love you more. If anyone deserves serious spoiling, it is you, my love. So, looking at that thing on your head only makes me love you more.”
“Why?”
“Because… I dunno. You chose me. You choose me every damn day. And I don’t know why. Because you’re gorgeous and confident. You could have any man on this Earth. And yet, you choose me. So, when you do things—like wear this damn thing on my head—it reminds me that you have always chosen me. And that feels precious.”
Natalie smiled. “God, you’re going to make me cry, Ed.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I just… I love you more than words. And this year has been a fucking slog, but we made it, baby.”
“We did,” Natalie agreed. “But I knew we would.”
“What’s next?”
“I dunno. Only the stars know. Maybe we will discover I have an evil triplet or something in another universe.”
“Oh, that could be fun,” Ed joked.
“I love you, Edwin. You make me so very happy. And there is no one on this Earth I would rather accept blood diamonds from—no one.”
He snickered. “Those are very vintage.”
“Still filled with atrocity like everything in these places.”
“You gotta make it weird.”
“Oh, I will start returning things the day they give me the keys. Just wait. Don’t tell anyone!”
“Your secret is safe with me, Princess.”
“We’re happy, aren’t we?” Natalie asked.
“So happy in ways I never expected. I don’t know. I will still always wish we could have a child or several. I will always wonder why we couldn’t and curse it a bit. I am grateful to wake up next to you in the morning. You’re the first face I see in the morning and the last before I fall asleep. I never expected to marry the person I most admired. I cannot complain about a single thing.”
“I feel the same way,” Natalie said. “I can shake my fist at the sky, but at the end of the day, you’re my teammate. I don’t understand why it worked this way, but I love you more than words.”
“To another fifty years?” Ed chuckled. “I’ll probably be dead by then, but who knows?”
“I would be so glad to get another fifty, baby. It’s all I want.”