The Wolf’s Whisper: The Complete Series

18. Caleb

I was feeling rather proud of myself, to be honest, and if it weren’t for the surprise appearance of several Black Hawk Pack members, I would’ve said that our little meeting had gone perfectly. Emily was nervous, obviously, but her questions were extensive and she seemed open to listening. I guessed that seeing me literally shift into a wolf had likely encouraged her to get over whatever doubts she’d had.

Perhaps it was a touch paranoid of me to rush us out of the food court, given how thick the smells were in the mall, but I didn’t want to risk them picking up on her. Emily’s scent was growing more and more intoxicating by the day, and I didn’t need the group to go tattling to Zach that there was a new shifter about to make her grand debut in the world, let alone that a new shifter was hanging around a lowlife like me.

Because they didn’t know who she was, and I certainly wasn’t going to tell them. Hell, I hadn’t even really told Emily yet, either. But there would be time for that once I was sure she was safe.

“Here, I can give you a lift to the dorms. I know the buses take forever, and it’s way too far of a walk,” I said as we quickly made our way across the parking lot.

“Oh, thanks. Where’s your car?”

“Don’t have one.”

“Then what are you…”

Emily trailed off when I stopped in front of my bike, and I saw a bit of color leave her face. I understood the dangers that went along with a motorcycle for humans, but there were a lot fewer for a werewolf who could break their spine, get up twenty minutes later, and walk away.

“You’re kidding, right?” she said.

“No, why? You got something against bikes?”

“It’s not, but I have no idea how to ride one.”

“Now that part’s easy. All you have to do is hold on.” With that, I handed her the extra helmet I kept on the back of my seat and hopped on. When she just stood there for a few minutes, I looked over my shoulder, giving her an expected look. “What are you waiting for?”

“I dunno,” she said wryly. “For that good head on my shoulders to kick in before I get on this death machine.”

“Relax, I said I’d protect you, right? Trust me, I’m an excellent driver, and I’ll go extra slow just for you. If you want, I can just walk you all the way to your dorm.”

“Really? You’d do that? Even though you said it was a long walk?”

“Yup. Because I’m your guardian, Emily. I’ll be right here as long as you’ll have me.”

I didn’t miss the way the flush crept over her cheeks and then down her neck, but I didn’t point it out. That felt rude, especially when she was still struggling with the new experience of having shifter emotions, let alone a guardian.

Because in truth, the two of us were supposed to be bonded as thick as thieves. I was supposed to have spent years by her side at this point, both of us growing together into the best versions of ourselves. But we’d missed out on that, leaving just the faintest base of a connection.

That connection was there, though. I could feel it all the way in my teeth. I hoped she was beginning to as well.

“Alright, fuck it,” she said, determination thick in her voice as she jammed the helmet on.

“That’s my girl.”

With that, she clambered onto the bike and wrapped her arms around my waist, squeezing quite tightly for having such small arms. It looked like the girl had some muscle on her. Once she went through her first shift, her strength would increase tenfold. I was looking forward to seeing that.

“Hold on,” I reminded her. “If you need me to stop or pull over, tap my right shoulder three times. I won’t be able to hear you.”

“Gotcha.”

“Okay, get ready. I’m gonna start the engine now.”

I felt Emily tense up behind me, but she didn’t complain, didn’t protest. I was proud of her. A motorcycle wasn’t exactly the ultimate test of bravery, but it clearly was something she was nervous around. Yet, she already trusted me.

Things were really turning around for us. After so many years of thinking I’d failed Daniel, failed Henry, failed Kaia, I finally felt like I was on the right track.

It felt good.

True to my word, I drove much slower than I usually would. While I wanted to help Emily slowly test her boundaries, I also wanted to respect them. She’d never be able to trust me if I put her in unnecessary danger, and trust was everything when it came to a guardian and their charge.

“You’re doing great!” I called back to her at a red light, knowing she likely couldn’t hear me, but hoping she’d at least feel my approval radiating towards her. I really was pleased with how she’d done for the day, but I was also trying to distract myself from how her form felt pressed up against my riding leathers.

She was cool, much cooler than most shifters. That would change once she took on her wolf form for the first time. Although women tended not to run as hot as men, our temperatures were still higher than the human average.

Thinking about that made me wonder what it’d feel like to hold my hot palm against her soft, cool skin. Would it feel uncanny? Would it feel silken?

I needed to ignore my attraction to Emily and focus. It wasn’t entirely unheard of for guardians to end up in relationships with their charges, depending on the age gap, yet it was still side-eyed. Guardians weren’t meant to be groomers. They symbolized community coming together to protect the most vulnerable amongst us, and Emily, strong as she was, remained incredibly vulnerable.

So I needed to keep myself in check and not give in to the baser instincts her scent was pulling at. I was better than that, and even if I weren’t, I’d force myself to be better for Emily. It was the very least she deserved.

Fortunately for both of us, the ride was fairly uneventful once I ceased thinking about how soft Emily felt against my back and how wonderful she smelled in the crisp winter air. Still, as I pulled up to her dorm and parked, I noticed something had changed in her scent. Those stressful ketones were back.

She’d never told me where she lived. I’d tipped my hand a little too much and was coming across as creepy again. I really should’ve just asked her for her address.

“You okay?” I asked as I helped her off the bike and with the helmet. “Do you have more questions?”

Emily shook her head, and I braced myself for some deserved diatribe, but she began chewing her lip.

Lord , it took all my willpower not to reach out and gently pull her bottom lip out from under the abuse of her teeth.

If anyone was supposed to be biting her, it was me.

Whoa, calm the fuck down, Caleb. She’s not yours, and she can never be.

Because Emily had a boyfriend, even though he had the most punchable face I’d ever seen. And as far as I could tell, they were happy. If I wanted the best for Emily, I couldn’t put my own desires before her own. That would violate my oath as a guardian.

Still, that Gavin fellow was a twat.

“You promise that I’ll still be wholly me after I shift?” she finally asked.

I tilted my head, noticing the weight in her question and the way all her pheromones were getting riled up. Considering it was the second time she’d asked, it had to be pretty important to her.

“I promise,” I said. “No matter what your wolf is like, if you gel with both parts of you and put in the work, you will always be you.”

“But I’ll feel things differently?”

“You could.” I sat down on my bike so I could face her. Part of me longed to reach out and grab her hips so my thumbs could stroke the soft swell of her curves to give her comfort and sturdiness, but I kept my hands entirely to myself. “Think of it like puberty. I remember when I was younger, I loved popcorn and hated the smell and taste of coffee. But after I went through that particular change, I hated popcorn and loved coffee. Then, once I shifted, I ended up liking both. All of that was still Caleb, just Caleb in different parts of his life. None of them were more real than the others.”

Although I didn’t know what was tripping her up, I liked that some of this burden on her seemed to ease with my words. Maybe I did have a knack for this, or we were always meant to be in each other’s lives. I just needed to make sure I was present and ready to help Emily however she needed.

“Okay, thank you,” she said. “That’s good to know. Sorry for being annoying.”

Now, that wouldn’t do at all. “You’re not being annoying,” I said, almost a little too forcefully. “You’ve been blindsided by the most incredible and insane story, and you’re taking it incredibly well. You even did research. I think if I were in your position, I wouldn’t have been nearly as composed.”

“Do you really think so?”

“Yeah, I do.”

Once more, she flushed, and I had to do my best to completely ignore it like the good guardian I was. I could appreciate everything about her like a beautiful work of art in the Louvre, but I could never touch it. Never dirty her with my hands, my desire.

“Okay, thank you for everything,” she said. “Really, I mean it.”

“No problem, it’s my job. But what else is on your mind? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” I couldn’t deny that I was insanely curious. I wanted to know everything about Emily: what made her tick, all her experiences since we last parted when she was only a child, everything.

“Quite a lot, frankly, but I think I’ve made a decision.”

“Well, I hope that decision goes well. You know that if anything goes wrong or if you need me, you can contact me at that number, and I’ll be there at the drop of a hat.”

“Do werewolves wear hats?”

The way she said it got a chuckle out of me. “If we want to. I’ll admit we aren’t exactly known for our stunning taste in fashion.”

“So you’re telling me if I got you a beret, you’d never wear it?”

“Normally, I couldn’t imagine doing so. But if it’s a gift from you, I’d wear it every day.”

Another laugh from her, and God, I wanted to record it for whenever I was down in the dumps or felt overwhelmed by life. It was such a light, lilting sound. It truly made me happy. Who knew that there could be such joy in the little things?

“Aww, flatterer,” she said, smiling and showing her teeth. “You’re sure it’s fine for me to still go out and about and do things on my own?”

“It depends, honestly. Walking around campus during daylight? You should be absolutely fine, though I’ll warn you, especially perceptive humans might be put off by you.”

Her eyes went wide again at that, those beautiful lashes of hers making her look like a doll. “What? Why?”

“Because they can sense that you’re dangerous but will likely have no idea why, and that can be alarming. But again, you don’t have to worry about it too much because it’s pretty rare. We don’t really know what makes some humans better at sensing the change than others, but if I had to guess, it has something to do with their ancestors’ experiences as prey.”

“Werewolves used to hunt humans?”

“Emily, everything hunts everything, given the chance. It used to be that humans didn’t have quite so many advantages.”

Yet another blush, but this one was much lighter than the others. “I guess that makes sense. So, I just call you when the fever gets worse and I start to get crabby with my friends.”

“That’s the long and the short of it, yeah.”

“Okay, then. See you, uh, soon then?”

“Most likely sooner than later.”

“Good to know.”

She hesitated for a moment, like there was something more she wanted to say, but it didn’t feel right. If felt awkward right now, too. A goodbye was rather abrupt, but a hug was far too much, given how rocky all of our physical touch was so far. Besides, I’d promised to help that flaring libido by giving her space.

So what? A handshake? A high five? All of that felt awkward.

“Later, then,” she said at last.

“Later,” I said, getting back onto my bike. I waited until she was safely within the front doors of her place before driving off, wondering what the hell I’d gotten into and just how worried I should be.