These Wicked Desires (Fates #3)

10. Kai

Kai

I watch Ellis prance inside, her hips swaying enticingly, until the door closes and blocks my view of her. “What’s her deal?” I ask, turning to Cade. His face is turning an alarming shade of red and he refuses to look at me. “Or maybe I should be asking what your deal is?”

“Nothing.” It comes out a croak and he clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck.

“And that was convincing.” I sit next to him, debating if I should open my senses to read him, but I’ve just sat my ass on the step when Cade stands up. “Do I smell or something?” I raise my arm and sniff but all I smell is my deodorant. Cade paces back and forth and I watch him, my eyes like ping pong balls in my head.

I let his emotions filter through my barrier, and I’m almost knocked backward with the amount of nerves and anxiety that hit me in the face. Lately, I’ve sensed nerves from both of the guys, which is understandable with everything that's going on. But this … this is extreme. I push to my feet and step in front of him, stopping his pacing with my hands on his chest.

“Cade,” I say quietly, lifting his chin with my finger, forcing him to look at me. “What’s wrong?”

His violet gaze reluctantly reaches mine. “I … can we talk?”

I nod. “Of course.”

Cade climbs the steps and I follow, my gaze landing on his ass looking perfect in those joggers. If it weren’t for the uneasiness in my gut his nerves have created, I’d smack it, or pinch it, or hell, take a bite out of it. I shake myself and sit next to Cade on the porch swing.

“So …” I say after a minute of silence. Cade inhales and I sense him strengthening his resolve. Determination flaring hotly along my mental barrier. It makes my nerves flutter in my stomach. What the hell could he be so scared to talk about?

“I’ve been putting this off, but Ellis made me realize how badly I need to say it.”

My stomach clenches and I force my hands to relax on my thighs. This could be about anything. There’s no point jumping to conclusions.

Cade shifts on the swing, making it sway side to side a little as he turns to face me. “I know we have history, and not just as friends. And I’ve never denied that I find you attractive and enjoy having sex with you. But …” he pauses and swallows.

I think I'm going to be sick. This conversation could go two different directions, and I’m worried it’s going to go the direction I don’t want it to go. It takes all my self control to not shake Cade and yell at him to just say it already. I turn away, unable to look at him in case he says what I’m scared he’s going to say. I don’t want him to see the hurt that I’m sure I won’t be able to hide from him.

“But it’s changed for me lately. It’s not just … it’s …” He mumbles something under his breath, something that sounds suspiciously like ‘fuck it.’ “Kai,” he says, and waits for me to look at him.

His violet eyes are shimmering, like his magic is close to the surface. My breath catches at the emotions that slip through my shields even though I have them locked down tightly, not wanting to know what he’s feeling.

“I love you, Kai.”

My heart stutters, and in my surprise, I lose my grip on the barrier that keeps everyone's emotions from hounding me constantly. Cade’s nervous, scared even. But the feeling I’m sensing the most is the same one I pick up from Ellis.

Love.

I stare at Cade as I let his words sink in. The nausea in my gut disappears, replaced by the wings of thousands of butterflies. Three words I never thought I’d hear from him. Three words I’ve been terrified to say because, what if he didn’t feel the same? The longer I stare at him, the more the nervous energy from Cade intensifies, and I realize I probably should say something in return. But my words are stuck in my throat that seems to have closed. So instead, I kiss him.

I crash into him, hard enough to make the swing rock back and forth like a ship on a stormy sea. Cade gasps and I slide my tongue into his mouth, brushing it against his. His hands slide into my hair, pulling on the strands and sending electric pleasure through my veins. When I pull away, I drag my fangs along his lower lip, restraining myself from biting hard enough to draw blood.

Cade’s eyes are huge as he looks at me, chest heaving with uneven breaths. “Does that … I take it as …”

I don’t let him finish that sentence. “I love you too, Cade.” The way his eyes light up makes me want to kiss him again. “I think I have for a while now. I’ve just been too scared to admit it to myself.”

Cade frames my face in both of his hands and pulls me against him for another kiss. This one is slow and languid. I let myself feel each of his emotions, amazed that they are coming from him and are directed toward me. It’s surreal to even think I have not only Ellis, but Cade as well.

I have no idea how long we sit on the swing, lazily kissing. We only pull apart when Sterling stomps up the steps. “Where’s Ellis? I feel like she’s missing out.”

Cade and I pull away, but we don’t turn our attention to Sterling. Instead, we stare into each other’s eyes for a moment longer.

Sterling clears his throat. “Do I need to get naked to get your attention?”

“It wouldn’t hurt,” Cade says, slightly out of breath.

I snort, breaking the moment and turning to Sterling. “She’s inside washing her hair. Apparently it was really dirty.”

Sterling raises one silver brow in question but shakes his head. “Well, I have some news. You’re all going to want to hear this.”

When Ellis descends the stairs, it's obvious she didn’t wash her hair. It’s thrown into a messy bun on top of her head, loose curls escaping to fan around her head. If I were to guess, she went upstairs and changed into one of our t-shirts, curled up in bed, and was reading a book.

She glances at Cade and I sitting next to each other, practically glued to each other’s side with Cade’s arm around my shoulders, and she winks at us. I’m just about to scoot over to make room for her, but she turns toward Sterling and plops into his lap instead. I glare at her and she smiles, shimmying her hips seductively as she scoots closer against him. Lucky bastard.

Sterling wraps his arm around her waist almost absentmindedly, and the t-shirt she’s wearing climbs higher up her thighs. I laugh when Sterling’s brow furrows and he sniffs Ellis’s shoulder, scrunching his nose.

“Do you have to wear Kai’s shirt?” he mutters. “You stink.”

I cackle, even as the monster inside of me puffs out his chest knowing our beloved smells like me.

“Oh hush,” she says, elbowing him in the stomach, earning a soft oomph from the shifter. “I’m sure I smell like all of you. There is no way I’ll ever get all of your scents off my skin with how much time I’m stuck with you guys.”

Cade’s laugh rumbles along the side of my body pressed against his and I can’t stop myself from leaning more against him, getting as close as I possibly can. If I can’t cuddle with Ellis, Cade will do just fine.

Sterling clears his throat and we all sober, the atmosphere shifting from playful to serious in the blink of an eye. “I have some news,” he says, shifting Ellis on his lap. “Cole and I have been meeting with wolves we can trust to take our side. We’ve been working on security plans for the day of the challenge as well as after the fact. Noah will have supporters who will not accept the change of leadership easily.”

“They shouldn’t be too big of a problem, though,” Cade chimes in. “I can’t imagine they are very powerful. And with Ellis’s bond, there won’t be anyone strong enough to challenge you.”

“You’re right, but if they band together, they could cause some issues.” He notices Ellis’s sharp inhale and he jiggles her softly. “It won’t be anything we can’t handle, but it will be annoying, and something I’d rather not have to deal with while we have other problems on our plate.”

“What can be done to stop that?” she asks quietly looking up at him.

Sterling’s blue eyes soften as he stares at her. “Well, thanks to Kai’s dad and his offer of assistance, I think we finally have everything in place.”

Ellis stiffens, face draining of color. “What does that mean?” Her voice trembles slightly, and her fingers shake in her lap. I can sense her fear. It washes over me in waves.

“It means I’m ready to challenge Noah.”

She swallows and presses her hands to her stomach. “So, what’s going to happen?”

“Well, I’ll officially send Noah a challenge, and he’ll pick a date and time. The pack will gather to watch and bear witness to the outcome.”

Ellis’s shoulders rise on a sharp breath. “And the outcome?”

Sterling hesitates. Even though she already knows what the options are, hearing them is going to be hard on her. He scans her face, likely debating what to say. But in the end, he tells her the truth. “Our wolves will fight. Only one of us will survive. Whoever that is will be alpha.”

My heart pounds erratically in my chest, matching Ellis’s, and I realize it’s not just everyone else's emotions I’m sensing. It’s mine as well. We’re all nervous about this challenge. Sterling is my brother. He’s been my family for as long as I can remember. The three of us—Cade, Sterling, and I—are a pack. And now Ellis is part of that pack as well. The chance of losing him hasn’t really hit until now.

“Okay,” she says shakily. Her amber eyes glimmer, most likely fighting back tears. “When are you going to challenge him?”

“I’m going to send the challenge tomorrow.”

She closes her eyes and buries her face into his chest. He holds her tightly and looks over at us. I don’t need to read him to know he’s feeling completely helpless right now.

“Ellis,” Cade says quietly. He waits for her to look at him. “I’m assuming you’re going to watch the fight?”

She nods, wiping tears from her cheeks.

“Then we need to make sure you’re protected. It will be crowded and chaotic, and it will be too good of an opportunity for someone to try and snag you.”

“Cole and I have already talked about that,” Sterling says. “Along with you two, Cole and Drew will guard her. I’ve even contemplated calling Connor and asking him.”

“I think we should,” I say. “I’m not risking anything. Especially because your focus needs to stay on Noah and not Ellis’s safety. Having Connor in addition to all of us will help.”

“Are there any vamps you would trust her with?” Cade asks, turning to me.

I shake my head. “No. But I think the five of us should be able to handle it.”

“My mom will be there too. I know she’s not as tough as you guys, but in her wolf form, she’ll do anything to protect those she cares about.” Sterling tucks Ellis’s head against his shoulder. “And she cares a lot about Ellis.”

“I still don’t like it,” Cade mutters. “It’s too risky.”

Ellis sits up, her eyes wide. “I’m not staying behind,” she says vehemently.

“I would never suggest you do, love. I’m just saying I don’t like it.”

“I don’t like any of it,” she replies, voice thick with emotion.

Tension and regret flow freely from Sterling, and I know he’s hating himself for putting Ellis in this situation. I hop off the couch and kneel in front of her, grasping her hands. They are even colder than mine, which is a first.

“Hey. Don’t forget that Sterling is strong. And with your bond he’s even stronger. He has so much more to fight for. So much more of a reason to win. Noah is just power hungry. He wants to win for all the wrong reasons.” Ellis clings to my words, some of her anxiety easing. “Sterling is fighting for you. For his family. For his pack. In the end, that will go so much further.” Her hands in mine have stopped shaking. “Have faith in Sterling, baby girl.” I give her a crooked grin, flashing a bit of fang. “Besides. You got to see me in action and now know how much of a badass I am. It’s only fair Sterling gets a chance to show off his badassery.”

“I don’t think that's a word,” she mumbles, trying to fight a smile.

I shrug. “Says who?”

She looks at me for a moment before turning to Sterling. “It’s not that I don’t have faith in your abilities.”

“I know, kitten.” He kisses her forehead, his icy blue eyes melting for her.

She releases a breath and leans against him. It’s then I notice the fatigue lining her features and the way her eyelids seem to be weighed down. “Hey, why don’t we all go get some sleep. It’s been a long day.”

She nods and sits up. Her gaze bounces between me and Cade. “Did you two talk?” Her tone is accusatory and demanding. I’m guessing if I say no, she’d make us talk before we went to bed.

I smile. “Yes, we talked. Now, upstairs. We all need some sleep.”