This is Me Trying (Evergreen Ridge)

Chapter 13

Finn

I don’t know that I’ve ever seen someone so nervous in my life. Friday came in the blink of an eye, and now Riley is sitting next to me, fidgeting and staring out the window. She barely said a word to me when I picked her up, which isn’t that unusual, but I can just tell she’s absolutely freaking out. I need to think of a way to distract her before she pukes all over my seats. And these things are fabric, not leather, so there will be no cleaning them if that happens.

I glance over at her and say the first thing I can think of. “So, you like true crime?”

She doesn’t even turn her head from the window when she replies, “Huh?”

“True crime. It seems like you’re into true crime.”

Now she’s looking over at me, so that’s a win. “What makes you say that?”

“Well, the first time we met, you were convinced I was a serial killer, and you seemed to have substantial knowledge about the topic, so I figured you like true crime, or you just think Jeffrey Dahmer is hot.”

She chokes on a laugh. Score. Just what I was trying to do with this conversation. Get her out of her head and talking to me.

“Definitely don’t think Dahmer is hot, but Bundy, on the other hand, I’d let him get to like second base. You know, if I wasn’t afraid he would murder me afterward.”

I bark out a laugh. This is the Riley that I’ve missed from our first interaction at the Pore Over. This banter I could do all day with her. “So, like, conjugal visits, or is the murder a deal breaker? You don’t want him to murder you, but is the murder in general a hard or soft no?”

She pretends to think. “Probably a soft no. Depends on if I have options on the outside or not.”

I glance over at her. “Riles, trust me, you have options.”

I’m looking forward at the road again, but I can feel her eyes on me. If I had to guess, with how easily she blushes, her cheeks are that pretty pink color I love so much.

After she recovers, she replies, “Well, like I said, it depends, and now that I think about it, I don’t know that I could get past the thought that so many other people just boned in the same bed.”

“Got it. So, not the murder that’s the problem, just the cleanliness of the sheets.”

“Exactly,” she replies.

I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed a conversation this much with a woman I was into. Actually, I don’t think I ever have, so I’m a bit bummed when we pull into the gravel lot of the construction site. I’m especially bummed because I can see she has retreated into her head. At least I was able to distract her for most of the drive with a ridiculous conversation.

As I pull into my usual spot, Mason comes walking out of the trailer we use for the office on site. He lifts his hand in a wave, and I nod my head in recognition. I know she’ll protest, so I get out of the car as fast as I can to open Riley’s door. Just as she opens her mouth, I hold up my hand to stop her, and to my surprise, she closes it and just says, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. How are you feeling? Still nervous?”

She gives her head a little nod, and it causes her hair to slip from behind her ear and into her face. It catches on the breeze and covers her eyes. I can’t seem to help myself. I lift my hand and slowly tuck that errant piece of hair back behind her ear. I could be wrong, but I think I caught her staring at my mouth before her eyes lift to mine. I put my hands on her shoulders, ready to give her a pep talk.

“Remember what we talked about. You’re exactly what we’re looking for, Riley. Not someone else. Not some stuffy snob from Seattle who sees this project as just another paycheck. You. You’re part of this community, and you know the vision we have for this place, and I think you believe in it, too.”

“I do.”

“Well, there you go. Walk in there with confidence, even if you don’t have it yet. Show him what you can do, and Riley…”

“Yeah?”

“Use your voice, even if it shakes, and show him the heart you have for this project.”

“Okay. Thanks, Finn.”

“Knock him dead, Riles.” I give her shoulder one more squeeze and watch her walk over to Mason and shake his hand.

I let out a long sigh as I look up at the gloomy Washington sky. The spring sun trying to poke its head out of the clouds. I really hope I didn’t just set her up for failure. If this doesn’t work out, she may never try again, and I just couldn’t live with myself if I was responsible for that.

I believe in her, though. Did I set this up so I could be closer to her? At first, yes. After that kiss, I was trying to find any way to be around her, but I wouldn’t have ever suggested this if I didn’t think she was the right woman for the job. I know she can do this. Now I just have to wait out here and hope for a smile, and not a frown, when she exits that trailer.

I check my watch as I pace back and forth next to my truck. It’s been about forty minutes since she went inside, and she’s still not out yet. That has to be a good thing, right? That has to mean they hit it off. I stop in my tracks and my nostrils flare. They better not have hit it off that well. No, I can’t think like that. Mason would never do that to me, and Riley isn’t that type of girl.

Why am I losing my mind over this so much? Oh, right, because I feel responsible for whatever the outcome will be. I really don’t know that I could handle it if I was the reason for someone else’s disappointment. Especially Riley. I’ve already had my whole family disappointed in me my whole life. As proved by the phone call with my mom on Monday.

I’m about to say screw it and barge into the trailer when the door opens. Riley appears, and I can’t figure out anything from the look on her face. Mason follows her out and holds out his hand to her. She smiles and shakes it back, and he lifts his hand once more to tell me goodbye. I can’t even reciprocate because I’m holding my breath, waiting to find out what happened.

Right when I’m about to make my way over to her, the biggest, brightest smile blooms on her face. It hits me square in the chest, and I decide that I will do anything necessary to make sure that smile stays on her face. That she stays this happy.

She runs, actually runs over to me, and jumps into my arms. With her face buried in my neck she says, “I did it.”

I squeeze her tighter, if that’s even possible. “Yeah, you did, Riles. I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you,” she whispers.

“You have nothing to thank me for. This was all you. Your talent, your courage, your heart.”

“That may be true, Finn, but a couple of weeks ago, I would’ve never had that courage, if it hadn’t been for you believing in me. I always thought my designs would stay tucked away, something for just myself, and because of you, they’re going to come to life.”

Instead of responding, I just give her another big squeeze and reluctantly let her go. Her designs are not the only thing that has come to life. I’ve watched her thaw in the past couple of weeks. Where I would’ve described her as icy when I first met her, I now recognize she was just protecting herself. I still haven’t figured out from what exactly, but hopefully, I’ll get there with her.

Now that we’re working together, I’ll be seeing a lot more of her, and hopefully, she’ll continue to open up to me. I want to know everything there is to know about Riley Fields. Because it also feels like she’s bringing something to life in me.