CHAPTER 3
On the drive back, I had six hours to think (and get angry) about a lot of unpleasant things: Hailey and Brandon, their love, my mate bond, my future, my silly naive past self, and finally, the years I'd spent putting my life on hold because I was waiting for him to start living. I really couldn’t blame him for the last one. No one had ever told me to do that, I just... With my people-pleasing mindset, I’d simply been trying to please a male I hadn't even met yet. I’d saved my love, my heart, my body, and all of my experiences for him, because I’d wanted him to be happy. I hadn’t devoted much time to contemplating whether he would reciprocate these efforts. I’d truly worried more about making him happy than about my own happiness.
Most of my actions were motivated by what teenage Samantha had imagined a stereotypical male might want and like, so I had done my best to be chaste and nice and kind and I’d lived a small life in a small pack, never dreaming of anything more. God forbid I should meet my mate and have to stay somewhere apart from him for a while in order to finish college. That had the potential to be inconvenient for this hypothetical person, so like a good little female, I’d removed the potential issue altogether.
How stupid was I? Spoiler alert: very. I’d spent years putting a hypothetical person before myself. I was also pretty insecure – I didn't really believe I was capable of much more than finishing high school and coasting along at some boring minimum wage job. I don't know why I thought this way. My parents were strong, encouraging wolves and my sister was a badass future doctor, but I always made myself smaller, and something always held me back.
Well, look how that turned out. I sent mom a quick voice message asking her to schedule a meeting with the Alpha and Brandon's parents. I had to do this. I'd thought it through a hundred different ways, and there was no way for me to be happy in this bond. The thought of Brandon touching me after what I’d heard made my skin crawl. There was also the pup to consider. I’d either have to occasionally see the woman without killing her, or be a permanent step-mother to the pup my mate made with someone else. I wouldn’t be the mother of Brandon’s first-born. The thought hit me in the solar plexus so hard that I had to abruptly pull over. I rested my forehead on the steering wheel and tried breathing through what felt like a heart attack. My first pup would not be my mate’s first pup. The blaring of the car horn of the startled driver who’d been behind me was able snap me out of it.
When I finally arrived at the Alpha's office, they were all already there – mom, dad, my would-be in-laws, Alpha Tom and Luna Melanie. They greeted me warmly and the poor Luna even had a twinkle in her eye as she glanced at my neck, she probably thought they were here because I had some exciting news to share. I took a deep breath and, before the courage left me, started explaining:
“I know you're all wondering why I've asked you here. Please let me say what I have to say without interrupting, it’s the only way I can get it all out. I haven't been completely honest with you all about Brandon,” I said without really looking at any of them directly, although I felt my father’s impatient gaze on my face.
“After we discovered we were mates, he was acting really cold, distant, and, for lack of a better word, suspicious. He was avoiding getting too physical with me. Not at all like what my friends described meeting your mate was like,” I added and saw his mother frowning in my peripheral vision so I turned my head away more.
“That night, I accidentally looked at his phone screen and saw that his screensaver was a photo of him hugging a woman and looking at her like... like... I don't know, like he loves her”, I managed to choke out without sobbing while peeling off some of the cracked nail polish from my nails. “So I asked Luna Melanie to give me his address in Chicago so I could surprise him, and I'm sorry Luna, but what I really wanted was to prove to myself that my suspicions were unfounded. I really hoped they were.“ The Luna nodded solemnly, smart enough to see where this was going. Now it was time for the difficult part. I'd had countless hours of crying in the motel in Chicago, and I’d also spent the six hours driving down alternating between crying and rehearsing what to say. I hoped I could say what needed to be said without breaking down.
“What I found at the address was Brandon living with a human woman who is pregnant with his pup.”
Someone gasped, and I didn’t even care who it was. I kept my eyes trained on a spot on the carpet. It was one of those carpets with swirling patterns and the more I looked, the more it turned into some Rorschach-test-type stain that I couldn’t help but think resembled a sonogram.
“Her name is Hailey Wilson, they've been together for 4 years. She is 30. He proposed to her last year, and they are engaged to be married. She is 35 weeks pregnant, and humans typically give birth at 40 weeks. The pup is male. I've seen them together and I've heard them having sex,” I recited the facts mechanically. “I will write down her Instagram handle so you can see their relationship for yourselves, it's quite sweet if you're not Brandon's mate.”
His father growled and he seemed furious, and a part of me appreciated the outrage on my behalf even though I knew that, as soon as the pup got here, his parents' wolves would be protective of it and deliriously happy to be grandparents. I couldn’t blame them. They owed me no loyalty. I was also kind of numb at this point, completely detached from what was happening around me. I just wanted to get this over with.
I took another deep breath.
“I don't want to be Brandon's mate anymore. I don't see a future with him in which I can forget what I've seen and heard and learned. He cheated on me. And he's been cheating on me for the past four years, since he had to have known I was his mate since he turned 18. He also has a pup with someone else. I have no idea what he had planned on doing, since he starts work here next month, and he claimed he wanted to have a mating ceremony with me,” I frowned at the memory of his slimy lies.
“What I will do is quit my job at the cafe and apply for transfer to my aunt's pack in California. I hope you will approve it, Alpha Tom”, I looked at him and he nodded sadly, “maybe I'll go to college or something, I have a lot to figure out.”
“Now, I can't tell you all what to do, and I’m not really sure what happens when one of us breeds with humans, but there will be a pup out there who, thanks to his gamma blood,” I tilted my head at Brandon's dad, “will probably be a shifter. You cannot let him grow up without knowing what he is, it’s too dangerous both for him and the humans around him. It is also only a matter of time before Brandon slips up and reveals something to the human. I’d suggest forcing him to tell her about us, getting them both jobs with the pack or somewhere nearby, moving them out here, having them raise their pup in the pack, maybe making her sign an NDA or something?” I noticed that everyone was unnaturally still so I looked at them with my empty eyes.
“This is all news to you, but I had some time to think and process. And although he's a shit mate, Brandon doesn't have to be a shit father,” I shrugged. “If you look at the human’s Instagram, you'll see I never had a chance. He made his choice long ago, and now I am making mine. I will leave a letter for him with you, Alpha, and I'll be out of here as soon as possible. My wolf wanted to kill the woman when I saw her in Chicago, and I don't want to give her any more chances.” They all nodded, and Brandon's mother opened her mouth to say something but I only lifted my palm to her to stop her.
“I am barely keeping it together at this point and I would like to leave.”
My parents and I walked home in silence, my dad’s hand occasionally brushing mine as we walked side by side. On the porch, I could see Lainey and Lucas waiting. She had to have hopped on a plane as soon as I’d told her what happened. She hugged me and as soon as I inhaled her comforting scent, I felt some hope that I just might be alright at the end of all this. We all went inside to spend a few more days as a family before I left the Ozarks for good.