Walk Off

Chapter 9

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Celia

What had she been thinking?

She’d had hate-filled sex with Kyle in her sister’s pool house. He’d fucked her hard, pulling her hair and slapping her ass, and she’d moaned and whimpered like it was the best thing to ever happen to her.

Truthfully, it was pretty close.

She’d gone eight years without sex, and now it was like she was a crazed lunatic. If he offered it, she would take it. Anyway he wanted.

The man had gotten better over the years. No doubt from all the practice he’d had. She wasn’t jealous, more like envious. She’d had her hand or a vibrator with only the memories of him to get her off. He’d had any available woman who wanted him. Which was a lot, if social media told her anything.

She was sipping the one glass of wine she was allowing herself before going to bed when there was a knock on her door. Jasmine was in bed already and she’d only left Ruby’s a few hours ago. Looking through the peephole, she laughed.

Of course, they would come.

Her friends.

When she opened the door, Zara and Hannah were standing there. Cassidy wasn”t with them, but she had to assume that was only because she was on her honeymoon. If she’d been in town, she’d be there.

“Is this an intervention?” she asked, her head tilted to the side.

“Do interventions come with wine?” Zara held up a bottle.

“I can’t get drunk with you two tonight. I have to work in the morning.”

“You can get a little drunk,” Hannah said, pushing her way into the apartment. “Just not falling down drunk.”

“Don’t you two have anywhere else to be but here bothering me?” Both of them had been texting her since her night with Kyle. She’d answered, but kept things short and sweet. She had no doubt that Ruby told them of her meeting with Kyle, bringing them to her doorstep.

“Nope,” Zara said, flopping down on her couch. “We are here to show support for our friend.”

“And to get the details of last night.” Hannah raised her eyebrows several times. “Do not even think of holding out on us.”

Celia sighed and walked to her kitchen. Reaching into the cabinet, she grabbed two wine glasses and then picked up her corkscrew from the counter before rejoining them. She knew it was futile to ignore them, and truthfully, she wanted to tell the story of her and Kyle.

Both from the previous night, and from the pool house.

She needed all the advice she could get to figure out what the hell to do.

She handed over the glasses and corkscrew to Zara as she took a seat and picked up her own wine glass. She looked at Hannah. “I assume you know the whole story?” She was the only one in her close group of friends who she hadn’t told everything about Kyle to. If she was at her home, she knew either Zara or Ruby spilled the beans.

“I do.” Hannah looked at Zara. “Zara told me today after Ruby texted and said we should come check on you.”

“Do you hate me?”

“No. I could never hate you. I don’t know every detail of why you kept Jasmine from Kyle, but I’m sure you had your reasons.”

Celia told the whole story from the beginning, wanting her friends to know everything. “So there it is, my big, deep, dark secret.”

“I still can’t believe he was invited to the wedding,” Zara said.

“You and me both,” Hannah said. “I almost spit out my wine when Edwin pointed him out across the room. Kyle Dulanay is a superstar in the sports world. When I found out who he was Celia, I was even more shocked.

“Cassidy said she had no idea he was the friend from college that Benji had invited. All the info went straight to the wedding planner and she never paid any attention.” Zara finally got the wine open and poured a glass. “She feels horrible.”

“I know, she texted me several times and I told her it wasn’t her fault.” After several texts, Celia had to text Benji to take Cassidy’s phone away and focus on her honeymoon. She did not want to be the reason why she had a bad honeymoon with her new husband.

“Can we skip the boring stuff and get to the good part? I might have found you in the stairwell crying but I can’t imagine the sex was that bad.”

“Zara!” Hannah scolded her. “Read the room.”

Celia couldn’t help but laugh. “No, it’s okay. I actually need to talk about it.”

Zara rubbed her hands together. “Finally the juicy stuff. And can I just say, that man is not hard on the eyes? Holy shit, I’d seen photos of him, but I’d never seen him in person until the wedding. No wonder you fell for him all those years ago and couldn’t get over him.”

“She’s not wrong,” Hannah said. “Not to mention, now that I know he’s Jasmine’s dad, it’s hard not to see the connection.”

“It’s the nose,” Celia said. That sharp, pointy nose was all Kyle.

“That’s one part, but it’s also the way they both stand,” Zara said. “The genes are strong with that one.”

She hadn”t noticed it before, but now that Zara mentioned it, Jasmine did stand just like Kyle. Straight backed and tall, but with the right leg a little loose, like she was ready to take off at any moment.

It was all Kyle.

“She’s sort of his mini-me,” Hannah said. “Except for her eyes. Those are all you.”

She didn”t want to think about how much her daughter looked like Kyle. She wanted to figure out what to do with these feelings she had, and maybe, just maybe, move on. “You guys, what am I going to do? When he’s around, all I want, all I think about, is him.”

“What does he want?” Zara asked. “I mean last night, it was pretty obvious he wanted you, but what about now that you’ve told him?”

“That’s just the thing, I don’t know. Last night was incredible. He was everything I remember him being, but also so much more. He was domineering and forceful and it made me hot in a way I’d never been before. When we were together last time, we were both new to sex, and while it had been amazing, it was sweeter and less dirty.”

“I take it, you like the dirty?” Hannah asked.

“Um, yeah, you could say that. Then it all went to hell when it was over because I freaked out about the condom leaking. That’s why I was in the stairwell crying.” She pulled her knees to her chest on the chair and hugged them to her body.

“So the sex was great, you flipped out about a possible condom situation and you ran?” Zara inclined her head. “What happened this morning when you told him about Jasmine?”

This was a memory she wished she could remove from her head. She hated how rejected he’d looked. “He thought I lost the baby at first and was angry I didn’t tell him. When I told him I had the baby, he sort of shut down and walked away.”

“Oh man, that had to be horrible,” Hannah said. “For both of you.”

“He looked so angry, but also completely rejected. Like I’d taken a part of him away. Which, technically, I did.” She took a big sip of her wine. “Then he showed up at Ruby’s today after Dallas talked to him.”

“Why do I get the feeling you did more than talk?” Zara asked.

Fuck. “Because you know me so well.”

“What?” Hannah said. “Are you saying you had sex with him again? Today?”

“I’m not sure I’d call what we did today sex. It was more rage-filled fucking.” And it was phenomenal. She could still feel the sting of his hand on her ass, and she knew if she looked, there would still be a mark on her skin.

“Hate sex,” Zara said, nodding. “I’ve had that once or twice. Pretty good if everyone is on board.”

“And were you?” Hannah asked. “On board?”

“More than you know,” she answered honestly. These ladies deserved the truth and after lying to Kyle and everyone else for so long, she was determined to speak the truth from this day forward. She’d loved what they’d done together. It wasn”t like anything she’d ever experienced.

And now she wanted more.

“Where were you?” Hannah asked.

“In the pool house. We were talking and both yelling and shouting. He wanted me to say the words I’d said to him the day I left him. He pushed me to say them and then he grabbed me and kissed me.”

Zara looked at Hannah. “What did you say to him?”

She shook her head. She couldn’t repeat the words again. “The worst possible thing. But I had to make him hate me so he’d leave. So he’d never contact me. Because I knew, if he ever called me again, I’d cave. I’d hear his voice and confess everything to him, including my love.” Saying those words all those years ago had been hard. Repeating them to him again was even harder.

They weren’t true. So far from it. But she’d needed him to believe them. To believe her.

“I still can’t believe this was your first sex in eight years?” Zara asked.

She shrugged. “Fear of another pregnancy was a big part of that.”

“Shit, I think I’d be afraid of the same thing,” Zara said. “Although, not enough to go without sex for that long.”

“Ignore her,” Hannah said. “How do you feel?”

“Like shit, If I’m being honest, but not because of the sex. Both times, it was great. I might have a lack of experience when it comes to real live men in my bed, but I‘ve watched enough porn to know what I want in bed. Kyle was everything I craved and more. I feel like shit because of all the lies. Because my kid, who I love more than anything, had a dad out there this whole time, and I chose to keep him from her, all because of my own selfish reasons. I’m a bad mom and an even worse person.” She hung her head, wondering how Jasmine or Kyle were ever going to forgive her.

“Stop that,” Zara said. “Yes, you did a bad thing, but you”re trying to fix that. We haven’t been friends that long, but I already know that you would never keep Jasmine from Kyle now that he knows. The same goes for Jasmine. If she wanted to see or spend more time with Kyle, you’d move heaven and earth to make that happen.”

“She’s right,” Hannah said. “Stop looking backward and look forward. What can you do now to make this transition better for both of them? How can you make it less painful for everyone involved?”

She lifted her head. “I think the best thing would be for me to stay away when they are together. My presence will only make things worse. Kyle deserves to spend time with Jasmine where I’m not hovering over them and butting in.”

“I’m not sure I agree,” Hannah said. “But if that’s what you think, then that’s what you should do.”

“I think it has to be this way. When I’m near him, all I want to do is touch him or have him touch me.”

“That hasn’t been a problem so far,” Zara said. “It seems to me, he wants to touch you just as much as you want to touch him.”

She shook her head. “No, he hates me and wants to punish me. That’s different.”

“If you say so,” Zara said.

“I’ll make sure someone else is around or takes Jasmine to meet him. That way there is no chance of us ever being alone together.” This was a good plan. She could stay away and he could see his daughter. “Tell me something, anything that doesn”t have to do with me and Kyle. I need a distraction.”

Hannah looked at Zara. “Zara turned down a hookup last night.”

Zara glared at Hannah. “Do I go around telling everyone your business?”

“As a matter of fact, yes, you do.”

“Wait, why’d you turn him down?” Zara was all about the one-night stand.

“I just wasn’t feeling it.”

“Bullshit,” Hannah said. “You watched every move he made all night. You were feeling it just fine.”

“Who was it?” Celia asked.

Hannah started to speak but Zara put up a hand to stop her. “His name is Noah Ashe and he’s on Heath’s team.”

“Oh, this gets better. A baseball player.”

“Nothing happened. He asked me to dance and I said no. End of story.”

“Tell her why you said no. Go on,” Hannah prodded.

Zara sighed, but shockingly, answered. “I sort of made a fool out of myself a few years ago, in front of him.”

Celia raised an eyebrow. “How’d you do that?”

“This does not leave this room,” Zara said. “Hannah is the only one who knows this story and I can’t believe I’m going to tell it to anyone else. It”s the most embarrassing moment of my life.”

“It’s not that bad,” Hannah said, but Celia could tell she was holding in a laugh.

Oh, this was going to be good. “I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

“It was the summer between my junior and senior year in college and I was interning for a small sports firm in Chicago. I met this guy, Aiden, when I was out one night, and he and I went back to his place. We had a good time and made plans to meet up the next night. He sent me a message later in the day saying he was running late, but to just use the key under the doormat and let myself inside. I did just that and then decided to surprise him by being naked on his couch, waiting for him when he showed up. Only, he wasn’t the first person to show up. Turns out, he had a roommate who strolled in the door, while I was naked as the day I was born, on the couch.”

“Oh God.” Celia covered her mouth. “Let me guess, the guy was this Noah Ashe guy?”

Zara nodded. “I was spread eagle on the fucking couch with my lady bits just hanging out for the world to see. When he opened the door, I screamed so loudly and tried to cover up, but there was nothing around. The kicker is, the man didn’t move. He didn”t turn around or look away. He stared at me and smiled wickedly.”

Hannah was laughing so hard, even though she’d obviously heard this story before. “Keep going,” she said around her laughter.

“So there I was, naked and embarrassed, with the hottest guy I’d ever seen standing in front of me. I decided to own it and stand straight with my hands on my hips. I asked if he liked what he saw, just hoping to embarrass him. The fucker tilted his head, licked his lips, and said yes. I was thrown off once again at his boldness. I was just about to grab my clothes and walk away, but before I could, the fire alarm went off. The freaking fire alarm. I was confused and unsure what to do, but Noah grabbed me by the arm and dragged me outside. Remember, I was still completely naked. I screamed and shouted for him to let me go, but he had a one-track mind and kept pulling me toward the exit. At some point, he picked me up because of how hard I was fighting against him. The next thing I knew we were outside, there were people everywhere and I was still naked.”

“Holy shit, this is the best story I’ve ever heard.” Celia was enthralled, and it was nice to have someone else to focus on rather than her own issues.

“It might be funny now but it was not funny at the time,” Zara said.

“Tell her what happened next,” Hannah said.

“So there I was naked and over Noah’s shoulder. He finally loosened his grip and set me back on my feet. I started hitting him, angry at what he’d done. It wasn’t until a few seconds later that I realized how freaked out he looked. I turned around to look at what he was so focused on and saw the building I was just inside, completely in flames. Like fire everywhere. The fucking thing was burning down. All my anger dissipated as I stared at the building. Noah had probably saved my life.”

“Jesus, that’s insane,” Celia said. “What happened next?”

“Not much. Somewhere between being angry and realizing what he’d done, he slipped his t-shirt over my head to cover my nakedness but I was so focused on the fire that I wasn’t really paying attention. Then he was gone poof, just like the building, he’d gone up in smoke and I never saw him again.”

“Until...” Hannah prodded.

Zara glared at her. “Until two months ago when he showed up at my office looking for a new agent.”

“He did not!” Celia shouted.

Zara nodded. “He absolutely did. I was so dumbfounded that I think I stared at him for like ten minutes before I actually spoke words.”

“This is true,” Hannah said. “I walked by her office and found them basically in a staring contest. It was the funniest shit I’ve ever seen, mainly because Zara is never at a loss for words.”

“Did you take him on as a client?”

“Hell no,” Zara exclaimed. “There was no way I would be able to treat him like he should be treated after what happened to me in front of him.”

“I took him,” Hannah said. “He’d come to us because of Heath and so he was cool taking me on as an agent.”

“What I don’t understand is why was he at the wedding?”

“To torture me, apparently,” Zara said.

“Not what I was looking for but we’ll get back to that.”

Hannah laughed. “He knows Benji and since he was in town for a meeting with me, Cassidy and Benji told him to come.”

That sounded like both Cassidy and Benji. They were easygoing and wanted to share their love with the world. “Okay, so back to him torturing you,” she said to Zara.

“No, I’m finished with any more conversations about Noah Ashe. I don”t want to think about him and I definitely don’t want to talk about him.”

“Me thinks she doth protest too much,” Celia said to Hannah with a raised eyebrow.

“I think you’re right,” Hannah said.

“I hate you both.”

“Enough to tell us we’re wrong?” Hannah said.

Zara sat back, crossing her arms over her chest. “There is nothing to say.”

Celia felt bad for her. She knew what it was like to not want to talk about something. “We’ll leave you alone, but know if you ever want to talk, we are here.”

Zara’s expression changed, softened. “The same goes for you. We are here for anything you need.”

She knew that. It was one of the reasons she felt so bad about waiting so long to tell them the truth about Kyle. She didn’t need anyone trying to tell her it was okay. It wasn’t okay. She’d lied to her daughter about her father.

There was nothing okay about that.