Chapter Twenty-Three
Zach
It’s been three days since I last saw Sia. She messaged me, saying she wasn’t feeling well and was going to stay home with Nikki to rest and catch up on girl time. Of course, I immediately tried to see her. I hate knowing she isn’t feeling well, and I’m not there to take care of her. I have to also give her space, and I know how important her relationship with Nikki is. I need to have patience. In saying that, though, it’s now been three days, which is too long.
I’ve done well respecting her feelings. I’m worried now, though. She barely responds to my messages, and I can’t shake the feeling that something more is going on than her being sick. What if, now that she’s done with the redesign, she’s done with me? I deserve it, but I think I’ve shown her how much I’ve grown. I know what I did nine years ago was wrong, but it’s different now, we’ve both matured. The thought of losing her terrifies me.
The bottom line is that I miss her. She’s made my home beautiful and comfortable, but it feels empty without her in it, and this is nearly unbearable. What’s happened to me? She’s only been in my life for a little while, and now I can’t imagine living without her. I send another text and an hour passes without a response.
That’s it. I’ve given her plenty of space and more than enough time with her best friend. It’s time to see her. I’m not asking anymore. I close up the house and climb into my vehicle. I’m barely down the road when I decide to ring Blaze. It seems I’m calling both of my brothers a lot more often these days.
Blaze picks up on the second ring. “How’s it going?” he asks.
“Hey, brother, as much as it kills me to say this, I need some advice.” I wait for the mocking to commence but am pleasantly surprised when he’s serious.
“Is everything okay?” We’ve all changed a lot these past couple of years. I like the growth, but this is a lot. Is Gramps guiding us from above? Maybe. I’d like to think so. He guided us more than any other person while he was on this earth so it makes sense he wouldn’t give up on us now.
I let out a sigh. “Sia left three days ago. She finished the job and now she’s barely been responding to my texts. She won’t talk about the future, and I’ve done all I can to assure her that she matters to me. I want to make this work, but she won’t even discuss it. I’ve asked her to move in with me. I don’t know what else I can do. I’m worried I did something wrong, but I can’t figure out what it could be.” He listens the whole time I’m puking all of this out to him. Would I have been as understanding if the situation were reversed?
“Well, my first piece of advice is to grovel,” he says, still somewhat serious, but with a little humor in his voice too.
“What do I need to grovel about?” I feel more frustrated than I was two minutes ago. Maybe calling either of my brothers isn’t the best idea.
“It doesn’t matter. It’s impossible for us to understand the female mind. How can we understand them when they don’t even understand themselves most of the time?”
“You’re not helping. If you aren’t going to take this seriously, I’ll call Callan. Hell, I should probably call Sasha or Courtney.”
“That isn’t the worst idea ever.” He lets out a sigh. “However, when I know Courtney’s upset, I get flowers, gifts, chocolate, anything I think she might like. I don’t know why it works, but if you show up with a big bouquet, decadent chocolates, and pretty sparkly jewelry, that usually is a cure-all.”
“That’s all I need to do?” I’m confused.
“Not necessarily, but that’s a beginning. Sometimes women simply won’t tell us what’s happening. Sometimes, it takes them a week, and sometimes it has nothing to do with us. It’s never the same. Each situation is different. That’s what makes it so hard.”
“Being a man is so much easier. Get in an argument, punch it out, then have a beer together. It’s far less messy.”
“I can’t argue with that,” he says with a chuckle.
“I don’t want to make things worse. I’ve given her space like she’s asked for.” I pause for a moment. “What if she’s done with me? What if this is her way of getting revenge for leaving her nine years ago?”
This time Blaze pauses. He’s thinking about his answer. I appreciate it. He knows I’m serious. I wait. I’m not sure what else to add to this.
“I’ve seen the way she looks at you, Zach. I don’t think she’s done at all. I think she might be scared. Adult relationships are tough. We don’t realize how much breakups will hurt when we’re young. The older we get, we know how hard it is to get attached to someone and then lose them. I think the older we get, the more likely we are to lose a loved one to death. We can’t comprehend that kind of loss as a child when we feel immortal.”
“I guess being in love and losing a person is both like a death,” I say after a minute.
“I think so. If I lost Courtney, it would kill me. A relationship ending is experiencing a true loss. We’re getting too deep here, though. She might only need a few days. You won’t know if you don’t talk to her.”
“I appreciate it, Blaze. I’m on my way to her place, but I’ll make a little detour first for some gifts.” He chuckles. I do feel a bit better. I should know by now that my brothers will always come through for me.
We chat for a few more minutes, and then I hang up, feeling a bit more confident. It’s such an odd feeling to be this unsure in a relationship. Hell, it’s odd to be in a relationship. I’ve had so many one-night stands in my life, and I now realize how empty those were.
Not only is it impossible to learn a woman’s body in one night, but there’s something about being fully comfortable with a woman that makes the lovemaking so much better. It makes life in general better. Why did it take me so dang long to realize this?
I pull up to the Anderson Mall and park. I can get all I want in one stop. It doesn’t take me long to get inside, but as I look around the huge store, I’m utterly lost. I don’t shop too often. Since online shopping has come into being, I haven’t touched a mall. I’m not complaining, but I like to get in and out of stores as quickly as possible. This leaves me at a supreme disadvantage though because I don’t know what to buy.
I must look like a lost puppy because a salesclerk approaches me with a friendly smile. Dammit! I should’ve brought Honey with me. Sia wouldn’t dare turn me away if I had the dog. She’s completely bonded to the clumsy little thing. Man has she grown in the past month. She follows Sia around and always curls up by her. I might think she’s my dog, but she’s far more Sia’s. It’s okay though, because we’re going to stay together and we can share Honey.
“Can I help you, sir?” I shake off my thoughts.
“Yes, I need some advice. I’m looking for some gifts for my girlfriend. She hasn’t been feeling well and I want to make her smile. I need flowers and chocolates and something more,” I say in a rush of words.
“I’d love to help you. I’m Sammy. Flowers and chocolates are great. When you say something else, are you looking more for cute little stuffed animals, or something that sparkles?” she asks as she holds up her hand and lets me see her shiny bracelet.
“Something that sparkles for sure.” I smile.
“I can certainly help you with all of that. Follow me.”
We walk over to a circular area where huge displays showcase endless amounts of jewelry. I’ve given jewelry to women before, but to be honest I’ve never picked it out. I’ve always had my assistant get things for me. I want this to be from me, though. Sure, I’m getting help, but I’m here buying it. This is definitely personal.
Sammy points out several beautiful sets, but nothing catches my eyes. I keep moving, waiting for something to jump out at me . . . and then stop when I see engagement rings. I can’t get an engagement ring, I assure myself. She’d probably run screaming to the hills. She doesn’t even want to talk about the future, let alone talk marriage. If I show up with flowers, chocolates, and a diamond ring, she might never speak to me again.
“Are you thinking of proposing?” Sammy asks, her eyes sparkling. “There’s nothing I love more than helping someone pick out the perfect ring.”
“It’s far too soon to get a ring,” I tell her, but I can’t seem to pull myself away. I look down at the dazzling display, unable to slow my racing heart. What if I did buy one? I don’t have to give it to her now, but I could have it for when the time is right. This thought has me spinning. Have I decided there will be a right time? I haven’t even told her I love her.
With this self-revelation, I realize I might actually love her. I’ve never felt love for a woman before. I’ve never been even close to telling a woman those three little words that mean so much. But as I stand here, I’m not afraid to think of Sia and love in the same sentence. I do want to spend my life with her. This isn’t a phase; it isn’t going to change.
“There’s nothing I like to see more than a man standing at the diamond counter with that panicked look on his face as he realizes he’s found the one woman he can’t live without,” a booming voice says as a large hand comes up to my shoulder and squeezes. I’d know that voice anywhere. Of course Joseph Anderson is here and sees me in a moment of near meltdown. There might be a sky message tomorrow saying Zach Callahan panics at the engagement counter. That’s Joseph Anderson to a T.
“Hello, Joseph,” I say as I turn. Sammy beams at her boss before looking at me.
“How are you, Zach?” Joseph asks as he laughs. “Besides panicking because you’re about to buy a ring.”
“I wasn’t going to buy a ring. I’m looking for a gift,” I quickly tell him.
“By that expression on your face, I’d say you’re about to buy a ring,” Joseph says. “Who’s the lucky woman?”
“Sia Rivers,” I say before I can stop myself. Joseph’s head leans to the side. For a man who knows most of Seattle, it’s nice to stump him.
There are many rumors that Joseph’s quite the matchmaker; he got his sons all married and then moved on to nephews and nieces and even friends. I’m a bit scared being right here beside him. Am I going to buy a ring? I can’t seem to pull myself from this counter.
Joseph lets out a hearty laugh. “You can fight it, Zach, or you can save yourself a whole lot of heartache and do it.” He then turns to Sammy. “I want you to pull out the black velvet case.” Sammy’s eyes widen before she grins then rushes through a door into a private room in the middle of the huge display area.
“What’s the black velvet case?” I ask, knowing I shouldn’t.
“It only comes out for special people. You can’t buy just any ring, you have to buy a ring she can’t say no to, a ring that tells her you’re serious,” Joseph says.
Sammy comes back and presents a case. She carefully unlocks it, then opens it. I’m nearly blinded by the sparkling rings inside. Joseph leans over and looks down.
“Each of these rings are one of a kind. They’re designed by the best of the best and their value is immeasurable,” Joseph says.
“The diamonds are big enough to break a woman’s hand,” I tell him with a laugh. While he might say the value is immeasurable, I’m sure the price tag on these is most certainly in the six digit range which is certainly measurable.
“When you love big, you give big,” Joseph tells me.
“I can understand why you’re the wealthiest man in the world,” I tell him.
“Ah, money doesn’t matter at all if you don’t have love,” he says. The funny thing about this is I believe the man. He’d give up every single dollar he has for his wife, Katherine. The rumors of his matchmaking are only matched by his epic love story with his wife of over fifty years. He throws her a birthday bash each year that rivals a royal wedding. He doesn’t hide how much he adores her. It’s quite beautiful.
“I want you and your brothers to bring your beautiful women to my place for dinner very soon. Call me and we’ll get it arranged. If you don’t call, I will be calling. I know you have some things to handle first, but I don’t wait forever. Time isn’t anyone’s friend. It’s been too long since we’ve visited,” Joseph says. He then pats me again. “I’ll leave you to your decisions. Just remember love is scary, but it’s the one thing in this world that will save you again and again.”
He leaves me feeling confused, but I turn back to the case and look at the diamonds inside. They’re all stunning. I tell myself I’m not buying one, but I reach down and pick one up. It’s absolutely stunning, a gorgeous diamond surrounded by vines with a wide band set with diamonds all around it. It’s the heaviest ring I’ve ever held. The light sparkles off of it, sending out rainbows all around us.
“That’s my favorite ring in this box. It’s both delicate and bold. I can’t imagine wearing something so beautiful,” Sammy says in a hushed tone.
I turn the ring, the circle so tiny. It looks like it would be a perfect fit on Sia’s petite hand. I could buy it today and hold on to it. Just because I buy the ring doesn’t mean I need to give it to her anytime soon. It’s almost as if I don’t have control over my own actions as I look up, my eyes a bit glazed. But if I don’t get this one-of-a-kind ring now, it might be gone when I need it... and I have no doubt I’ll need it.
“I’ll take it,” I tell her in a hushed voice. She beams at me. I’m in shock as I hand it over. I could stop this . . . but I don’t.
“It’s an incredible choice,” she says. “I’ve worked here for three years now, and I’ve never seen Joseph show up and ask for this case to come out. He only sells about one of these rings a year. They really are exclusive.” She’s in awe; it’s apparent she loves her boss.
“Can you find a bracelet and some earrings that have this vine sort of style?” I ask. I still need a gift to give Sia today. I pull out my black card and try not to panic at what I’m doing. It’s far too late for that, though.
The entire time in the store takes a little over an hour, then I walk away with an engagement ring in my inside breast pocket, and a gift bag with all sorts of goodies in it. I’m not sure what all I’ve bought. All I want to do is get to Sia.
I arrive at her place, and rush up the stairs. I’m too impatient for the elevator. I’m excited as I knock on the door. I immediately hear footsteps, and then the door opens... and it’s Nikki. I’m disappointed as I look around her and don’t see Sia. It’s a tiny apartment so there’s not many places she can be hiding.
“Hi, Nikki, can I come in?”
She shakes her head. “Sia isn’t here.”
“But she’s sick,” I tell her. I look behind her, then back at Nikki. “Please, I want to see her. I’m worried.”
She gives me a sympathetic look that scares me. I’ve come to realize women share everything with each other. If Nikki’s looking at me like this, it might mean that Sia’s done with me and Nikki feels sorry for me. I refuse to believe that’s the case.
“She was sick, but is feeling better today so she went to a meeting with a new client,” she tells me. She still isn’t opening the door to invite me in. This isn’t good. I hold up the bag.
“I brought gifts,” I say, giving her my most trusting smile.
“I’ll save them for you. Why don’t you call her later and see when she’ll be back.” There’s no way Nikki doesn’t know when she’s coming home. She’s hiding something from me, but I know she’ll keep any secret Sia’s asked her to keep. She won’t break the best friend code.
“I’d rather wait here,” I tell her, my voice firming. She gives me a smile and shrugs.
“You do you, but it might be a very long time,” she tells me. She takes the bag, then waves at me... and firmly shuts the door. I’ve never had a door shut in my face before. It’s quite a new experience. I smile. I need it since I’m feeling worried.
Well, if she’s not letting me in to wait, I guess I’m stuck in this dingy hallway. Something’s going on, and I’m not leaving until I figure out what it is. I don’t care if I have to wait all day, I’m seeing Sia today, and we’re talking. I want answers.
I take a seat, leaning against the wall... this might take a while.