Chapter Twenty-two #3
“Really? What does that even mean?” Bree knew she wasn’t in the best mood for this discussion, but she had no clue when she would be.
Hank ignored her bitchiness. “You know. Is there no saying you’re sorry? Kiss and make up? What did you do?”
“Now it’s my fault, huh?” She and Tess were complex women with painful pasts that impacted each of them, but Bree knew that she bore most of the blame for how things had turned out. There was no easy kiss and make up.
“You didn’t say it was hers. Come on. Spill. It’ll be good for your soul.”
“It’s not my soul I’m worried about.” Bree blinked a few times to hold back tears. “It’s my heart.”
“So, your heart’s involved?”
Bree emptied her lungs in a deep sigh and nodded.
“I’d been telling her I couldn’t get involved with her because I wasn’t ready for a new relationship with anyone.
But our chemistry was off the charts, and I created a pattern of jerking her around.
I ran hot and cold, but she just kept growing on me.
I let us both grow closer, but I also had my reservations and wouldn’t commit to seeing where things went.
I know that upset her. And then I realized how much I cared about her, that I did want a relationship with her.
I wanted to see if we could make a future together work.
But I didn’t get to tell her before she broke things off with me. ”
“Now you’ve admitted that your heart’s involved, but what about hers?”
Bree hesitated before she decided how to reply.
“It’s more complicated than you think. Without disclosing any confidences, I’ll say that Tess has done a good job of building a life that shielded her from all sorts of past pain.
Then she let that guard down with me, starting in Tahoe when we had no clue who the other person was. ”
“So what’s the problem?” Hank asked. “She let her guard down. She likes you. And you obviously like her.”
Bree ran her hand through her hair before she decided to tell Hank more. She needed a sounding board, and Hank had always been there for her. “This is off the record—I need your word on that.” Bree stopped and waited for Hank’s affirmation.
“Probably a Pulitzer Prize, but alright, sis.” Hank offered her an exaggerated pout, and she almost chuckled. Bree knew that was his goal.
“I got myself mixed up in something. Something that I can’t get into the details of, but it’s something in the public interest, and I was in a unique position to assist. I couldn’t tell Tess either.
But when I couldn’t continue keeping secrets from her, I told the people running the public interest…
thing…that I was reading Tess in, and I told her. ”
“So you told her about this secret you’d kept from her before you told her that you’d changed your mind and want her in your life, that you want a relationship with her?” Hank shook his head.
“Yeah, that about sums it up. I planned to tell her how much I care. That I want to try for a future with her in it. But she told me that she was basically done before I could.” Bree sucked in her lower lip and shook her head.
It all hurt so much. “In retrospect, she seemed upset when she came into our meeting, but I was too self-absorbed to consider there might be a reason other than our meeting. I heard afterward that she’d reported that on the way to the Steam Stop that night, someone tried to run her off the road. ”
“Well, shit,” Hank said.
“I know she cares about me—the last thing she told me was to be safe. It’s no secret that she was shot last year, Hank. Now someone tried to force her off the road. And me—you know the things I’ve been dealing with, small potatoes compared to what Tess has endured.”
“Add it all up and it sounds like someone is playing hardball with her. More serious than your incidents. Close calls.” Hank scratched his head. “Besides being pissed that you’ve been jerking her around, maybe she’s worried about your safety if you get too close to her.”
“Well, if she’d told me that, I wouldn’t have let her just call an end to things.”
“Yeah, sounds like you, sis.” Hank raised his eyebrows at her. “Tess is a smart woman. Just keep that in mind.”
“The meeting certainly didn’t go as I’d hoped.
After I told her my secret, she declared we needed to go back to our Tahoe agreement—like we’d never met again here in Corazon Cove.
Like I’d never hurt her. Never put her off because I wasn’t ready for her.
Never had a secret. Never shared the chemistry and connection that’s grown between us, the deep feelings.
Like there was no future for us.” Bree wiped her eyes.
“A little too late for that now,” Hank said.
“She made it clear that we’re done. She was adamant—no discussion allowed. No changing her mind. Then she stood up and left.” Bree looked at Hank. “So yes, it’s my fault. I don’t see any easy fix.” The pain of losing Tess hurt like hell. “I never wanted to feel like this.”
“You know, Rachelle and I broke up before we got engaged. I was a jerk too.”
“Hey, I never said I was a jerk. I said I created a pattern of jerking her around, and I know that didn’t help.”
Hank held up a hand. “Big brother advice—what matters is whether there’s a chance you could love her.
Whether she could love you. I think you’re both fragile women with a lot of history.
It sounds like she made up her mind, and I don’t know that you’ll ever get another chance, but you need to decide if you could eventually love her before you even try to broach the personal with Tess again, or you’ll just be jerking her around some more.
You’ll end up hurting both of you worse. ”
Hank collected his stuff and started to head out.
“Bottom line—love saved my dumb ass. Knowing that there’s love, that’s Rachelle and my foundation.
We can make it through anything if the love measures up.
Think about it, Bree. At least the side that you control.
Is the thought of love part of the equation for you? ”
Bree didn’t answer. That was a question she’d been considering for a while now—maybe even considering if it could be a possibility since Tahoe.
She knew love had a mind of its own, even a pace of its own.
Faced with it now, with Tess’s absence from her life, it was feeling a hell of a lot like love could be involved.