Chapter 54 #2
When I walked into the store through the back, my new manager, Manuela, who was prepping training manuals for tomorrow's new employee orientation, smiled. “Your husband sent you a gift. Ooh, I can’t wait to meet a man like him.”
I smiled. “He’s a handful. Trust me.”
Carter replied, “I heard that. Tell Manuela I said ‘hi.”
“Carter said, “Hi.”
She blushed, and I understood the reaction. No denying that my husband was handsome and fine and would probably continue to look that way until he was old and gray. Meanwhile, I prayed that I hadn’t peaked before I hit thirty.
“Where’s the gift?”
Carter accused, “You must have parked in the back, or you would’ve seen it. I thought you would start parking on the side?”
“It’s not nighttime yet, and I will once the store opens. Is that okay, Daddy?”
He grumbled, “Just concerned not being controlling.”
I relented as I walked through the fully stocked store. “I know, and I appreciate it.”
I walked outside, and Manuela followed behind me, beaming.
“Look up,” Carter ordered.
I glanced up and saw my glowing green sign at the top of the building.
I’d been arguing with the sign company for weeks, and they told me it wouldn’t be ready until after the grand opening because of miscommunication between two companies.
I’d been on the phone complaining in the office while Carter worked on the business plan for a veterinarian clinic he’d decided to open next year.
He watched, amused, and didn’t intervene as he would’ve been apt to do in the past.
My heart swelled at his thoughtfulness. “Thank you. This whole sign business stressed me out because I wanted everything perfect for the grand opening.”
“I know. Wanted to give you something after taking away so much,” Carter said quietly.
After he kissed me in the office, he was finally honest and real, that he wanted what the marriage represented more than he wanted me.
He wanted to hold on to me because I'd been good to him and our children, but he recognized it wasn't the deep love that he'd wanted for himself. We were divorcing and had no intentions of telling our families until the summer. We wanted our children to be the first to know and to have a chance to grieve or feel as they wanted, without the pressures of school. We’d even planned a month-long trip anywhere they wanted to go as a family to tell them about our pending divorce. Carter had nixed moving to Dallas because we didn’t want to disrupt their lives more than our divorce would, and with the new raise, he had fully embraced Los Angeles as our home. Plus, Grey and Elle grew closer every day, and we didn’t want to take them away from each other.
Carter and I continued to sleep in the same room and kept the door locked so our children wouldn’t see their father sleeping on the sofa.
The good vibes of friendship replaced the sexual attraction between us over the last few weeks.
After countless conversations, we decided it was best that we end our marriage when we realized that our mutual desire for a lasting union at all costs ultimately destroyed it.
We were young and idealistic about what it meant to be married without probing deeper to see if we should be tethered together.
My pregnancy just further solidified the push to get married when we really weren’t ready.
I still deeply loved Grey. And Carter had unresolved issues with Chelsea that haunted our marriage until we were forced to deal with them eight years later.
Ironically, we could talk about our real feelings now that we accepted it was time to move on.
While Carter and I were watching TV alone in the family room one night, Carter confessed that sex just made the connection with Joi that much stronger.
He had been irritable with me because he missed her and realized he loved her in ways he hadn't loved me.
I finally admitted that I had had sex with Grey again.
His temper flared, and we argued hotly until I reminded him it was all his ego because he'd had a secret family and had already cheated on me.
I ended the argument when I reminded him that if I could hear how he slept with another woman, he could hear about Grey and me, too.
After we calmed down, he asked if we had a chance at love again, who would we choose?
Unsurprisingly, I chose Grey, and he decided on Joi.
He grudgingly acknowledged that Grey had been the better choice for me, and he could appreciate that Grey had made an effort to get to know and embrace Ethyn, too.
Because of Elle’s focus on track, Ethyn wanted to know more about football, which Carter loved.
It looked like we would have two more athletes in our family.
“You’ve given me more than I could possibly hold, Mr. St. Patrick.” I grinned. “This sign is everything. Thank you.”
He warmly replied, “You're welcome. We had to have it ready, anyway. We don’t need Mama with her nose turned up as she walks around the store.”
I moved away from Manuela, who still admired the sign and took photos. “Your mama might be the only one happy about our divorce. Probably blame me for not loving you enough.”
“Naw...she loves you. She’ll blame me once I tell her about Sekani. Mama just likes to show she has control over me, so she feels I will always be hers. Probably why I did it to you.”
“What, you finally admit you can be controlling?” I giggled as I walked down the sidewalk. “Our marriage may have worked if we had been this honest.”
“Correct, or maybe we would have divorced years ago.” He chuckled. “Have you told Grey yet?”
Thinking of the man I loved since we were fourteen, I smiled. “No. I want to focus on the store and the children for now. He still needs to heal from Tatianna. What about you and Joi?”
He sighed. “Complicated."
"I told you... you love challenges." I smiled at an Asian woman passing me by.
"Yeah...yeah. Yeah. She challenges the living shit out of me, but I won't make the same mistakes—enough talk about that. You and I have the grand opening and the holidays upon us, and we’re in the playoffs. I’m focused on the family and my own healing, too.
Hey...gotta run. I need to meet with the Coach before we head for the airport. Love you.”
“Love you,” I said back to him and looked up at my sign again, which could be seen from a distance.
Like Home Remedies.
My store was finally a reality. I looked around the busy street, at the colorful signs and the diverse people, and I was proud that I would be a part of the fabric of this neighborhood.
One chapter of my life may be ending, but another one full of trials, tribulations, and triumphs is beginning.
Lifting my head to the sunny sky, I spread my arms and swung around.
My life might be full of drama and mess, but it was my beautiful mess.
I wouldn’t change the people I’ve met, the people I have loved, or any experience I’ve gone through for the world.
If I continued to live with regrets, I wouldn’t be me.
Darren Brown.
The girl who used to believe she was plain until one late summer, while moving into a condo by the beach with her best friends, Grey and Chelsea, Carter St. Patrick noticed her, and her whole world changed.