Epilogue
Ten Years Later
“Everything all moved in?” I asked my son as I sat before my vanity, performing my morning cleansing routine.
“Yeah. This is my first day off from work. I’ll spend the day getting my apartment organized.
Everything should be in place by the time school starts again if that’s what you're worried about. I won’t let my grades suffer like I promised.
” His deep voice was earnest, unlike the callous, sarcastic tone he usually used.
Ethyn had been troubled and defiant since the divorce.
Our charming and self-absorbed son had become sullen and difficult.
He maintained decent enough grades but had distanced himself from everyone except Elle.
He rarely spoke with anyone, and when he did, negativity oozed from his pores.
Although he didn’t blame me for the divorce, he took the bulk of his anger and disappointment out on me.
Ethyn resented Carter the most, and whenever he went to stay with his father, he would retreat to his room and leave only when he was hungry or needed to use the bathroom.
Finally, last year, Carter had told Ethyn that if he didn’t want to visit him, Carter wouldn’t force it.
Since then, he’d only seen his father during major holidays, much to Carter’s frustration.
This past October, the two had a huge argument about Ethyn’s insistence on moving to his own apartment.
I had to stand between them quickly when I thought Carter might hit Ethyn for his disrespect.
“Did you at least tell your father that you’re not going to brunch with him and Elle?”
“No. I didn’t want to hear his mouth because I didn’t tell him I moved out either.”
“E.” I slapped the counter. “You told me you would speak to him, and I trusted you to tell him. It’s been almost a month.”
“It’s my money, and I don’t owe him sh...nothing.” He corrected himself. “Ma, he’s going to trip like always when it’s not his way. I work after school and on weekends at the sound studio, and I keep my grades up. He doesn’t live with us anyway.”
“He’s still your father. It might be your money, but I signed the lease since you’re not eighteen yet. Do I need to go back on my word, too?”
He grunted, “I’m not coming home, Ma, even if you change your mind.”
“I don’t respond to threats.” At the sucking of his teeth, I threatened, “Try me. I only allowed you to move out now since you’ll be gone in six months to college, and you seemed so unhappy with me.” My voice broke, though I’d tried to hide how his decision to leave hurt.
“Ma, it’s not you. It’s everything. Just want to be on my own to figure out life for myself and not what Daddy wants for me.”
“If you’re grown enough to live on your own, you're grown enough to talk to your father.”
He sighed, “I’ll call him later today.”
“I’m serious, E.”
“Alright.”
“And you better keep your place stocked with condoms.”
“Ma, I’m not talking about this with you.”
“You won’t talk to your daddy, and I’m damn sure not ready to be a grandmother for one of these girls trying to be on the come up with you. Wrap it up.” Ethyn had grown up to be a replica of his charming and handsome father, and he had attracted girls without trying.
“Jeez. Ma. Got it. You sound like Grandma.”
“Don’t remind me.” I chuckled, and it felt good to hear his laughter, too. Ethyn always defended me when my former mother-in-law would make snide comments. “Call me later, here? I miss you.”
“Yeah. Bye, Ma.”
“Love you,” I said out of habit, not expecting a response.
“Love you, too,” Ethyn replied before the phone went silent.
Holding back tears, I held the phone to my chest, hoping that this was a sign I was getting my son back.
“Mama, Daddy will be here any minute, and you still haven’t pinned my hair up for me.
You’re going to make me late,” Elle whined as she poked her head in my bathroom.
My eyes captured her hazel ones in the mirror.
Her expression softened, and she came to stand beside me.
She was now taller than me. “It’s alright. I’m still here.”
I leaned my head on her strong shoulder.
She’d grown into a striking young woman, attracting attention when she entered a room.
Partly grooming and mostly genetics. Her hazel eyes, seemingly changed colors like her father’s, contrasted with her dark brown skin.
Years of running under the sun deepened the reds and browns in her skin.
She kept her hair in thin cornrows or braids and wore her Olympic ambitions on her sleeve, much like her father did.
Elle had become more internally focused and less social.
She preferred to study and run. Friends and even dating had taken a back seat, much to my dismay.
I wanted her to enjoy life more. Grey had to remind me often that running and competing were fun for Elle, as they had been for him.
They were a dynamic team destined for greatness as the first black father and daughter to win medals in the same track events.
“It’s still hard for me to accept that Ethyn would choose now to move away. The Christmas holidays are here, and he wants to leave when the whole family is in and out.” I shifted so that she could sit in the chair. I grabbed a handful of her shoulder-length braids and placed a band around them.
“He feels most alone when the whole family is here, like he no longer belongs,” Elle quietly said.
I closed my eyes. “It’s been years, and Carter does his best not to show favorites. Why can’t he see that your daddy still loves him?”
Elle shrugged. “He feels like he lost the most out of the divorce. I got a bonus father while he lost Daddy and his position in the family as the only son. Daddy doesn’t mean to, but he’s easier on Sekani because of his sickle cell, and all E sees is that Daddy loves Sekani more.
” Although Sekani and Elle had become close as siblings, Ethyn never truly accepted his brother and treated him more like a distant relative.
My cell rang, flashing Carter’s name. Elle picked it up. “Hey, Daddy. I’ll be outside soon. Ethyn’s not coming. He’s at his new place.”
“What?” His deep voice roared. “Put your mother on the phone.”
“Daddy, calm down. It’s not Mama’s fault, so lower your voice.” She smiled at my reflection as I placed the last bobby pin in her bun. Elle was still the peacemaker in the family, and Carter was still wrapped around her finger.
I took the phone and shooed Elle away. “Meet me outside.”
Once Elle was out of earshot, I inhaled and exhaled, bracing myself for his mouth. “Are you already outside?”
“Be there in two minutes. Where is my son?”
“He moved out last month.” I walked out of the bathroom.
“Why the fuck didn’t you call me? I didn’t think he would go through with it.
I would’ve snatched his ass up. He’s seventeen and thinks his shit don’t fucking smell.
He knows he couldn’t get away with moving out if he lived with me.
I would never give him any money to live in an apartment while he’s in high school. You’ve always been too easy on him.”
Feeling my anger rise, I countered, “And you’ve always been too hard... pushing him so much when he played football and ran track that he doesn’t even care about sports anymore. He has his own money.”
“Not enough to afford an apartment in L.A. My son better not be living in the slums,” he roared.
“If you talked to him and not at him, you would know he makes good money as a sound engineer. You know what, instead of annoying me, why don’t you call him and ask why he doesn’t want to live here with me and why he can’t stand you?” I cursed as soon as the words slipped out. “Shit, I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not. You think this is what I deserve.” He scoffed. “A son who hates his father, just like I hate mine.”
I grabbed my Angora sweater and relented because I knew I had wounded him with my words. He loved Ethyn with his heart and soul despite his earlier harsh words. “He doesn’t hate you. He hates the situation you placed the family in. Correction...the situation your wayward dick put us all in.”
“If it wasn’t for my wayward dick, you wouldn’t be with the man you really wanted now,” he ruefully reminded me. “I would’ve remained faithful if I knew I had your whole heart.”
I shook my head as I walked through the modest cottage home I bought once the divorce was final eight years ago. “We’re not rehashing us because you’re alone again.”
“Elle told you I moved out?” He sounded surprised.
“No. You just did. You know Elle is always Team Carter. She doesn’t tell me anything about what happens in your household. Not that I ever ask.”
“Then how did you know?”
“Because I know how you move. You’ve been texting and calling me more.
” I looked out the window next to the door as Carter pulled up.
Elle’s round face lit up as always when she saw him.
Although Elle had fully accepted and loved Grey as her biological father years ago, knowing that Carter chose to love her when he didn’t have to only made them closer.
She waited for him to park and exit his car. He walked around the car to hug her.
Carter looked good at thirty-nine, with grown man weight, though he remained fit, and a sprinkling of gray in his hair and beard.
He opened the passenger door for her, and she slid in.
Carter never wanted his daughter to touch a doorknob or handle when he was around, hoping she would choose a man who would do the same for her.
I stepped outside to greet him. He looked at me and then back at Elle. “Give me a sec.”
She nodded and started playing with her phone.
Carter asked, “Is he here?”
“Grey?” I asked.
He nodded.
“No. Why?”
Carter opened my front door and held it as I passed him. He closed the door behind him and leaned against it. “You always looked the prettiest in the morning. I knew you would only grow more beautiful with age.”