A Lapse in Time

Chapter 8

Noah looked at me with surprise etched on his handsome face. My heart pounded so hard in my chest that it was no wonder he didn't hear it. I didn't know why I was so nervous about asking him to sleep with me, but I was. Maybe it was because we were strangers, at least to me.

It wasn't like I asked him to have sex with me, even though I wasn't opposed to it. After all, he was my husband.

Oh, God. What if I forgot how to have sex? He's going to leave me.

"Are you sure?" Noah's question jolted me from my spiraling thoughts.

I looked into his eyes and saw the uncertainty swirling in them.

"Yes, Noah. I'm sure."

"Okay." His upper lip slightly curled upward.

He stood from the couch and then helped me up.

“I'm not sleepy, but I do want to lie down."

I had a good time with him, and I wanted us to spend more time together reconnecting.

"Okay. I'm going to grab some water and make sure everything is locked up. How about you go upstairs and get ready for bed? I'll be up shortly." Noah hesitated for a second before he leaned forward and kissed my forehead.

Warmth spread through me at the small gesture. "Okay."

I left Noah standing in the living room and headed to our bathroom. It bothered me that Noah felt like he had to tiptoe around his house. Every time I looked at him, he seemed so unsure about what to do. I noticed this while we were at dinner and then again when we got home. It felt like he wanted to touch me more or kiss me but was too afraid to. I wish he had because I wouldn't have stopped him. I wanted him too, but I was afraid to initiate it. I wondered if I had ever initiated sex with him before. I had so many questions.

Once upstairs, I went into the bathroom and turned the shower on. I tied up my hair while the water warmed up, then discarded my clothes. At least I didn't forget how to protect my hair. That would have been a disaster. I chuckled, even though it wasn't funny. Nothing about this situation was funny, but I had to laugh a couple of times to keep myself from crying.

Once the water was warm enough, I stepped into the shower. As the water ran over my body, I bowed my head and prayed.

"Dear God, please guide me and my husband as we transition into this new space in our lives. I pray he doesn't get frustrated with me and leave me. I pray we can get through this thing together. I don't know if I will ever get my memories back, but I pray that I can at least make new memories with my family. I thank you for allowing me to live another day, even if it's different. I pray I don't lose my husband or my child."

My shoulders quaked as I cried. I sank to the floor of the shower and let the water run over me as tears continued streaming down my face.

"You won't."

I jumped when I heard Noah open the shower door. I looked up at him when he climbed into the shower and got down on the shower floor with me. A lump formed in my throat, and I couldn't stop the sob that escaped me when he pulled me into his arms.

"I'm not going anywhere, Carsyn. I know things are different for us now, but that doesn't mean shit to me. You see this?" He held up his ring finger and showed me the black band he wore. "This means we are tied together for life, and every lifetime after this one. There has and never will be another woman I love as much as you besides our daughter." Noah's voice was low but thick with emotion.

I rested my head on his chest and cried. I didn't want to cry so much, but maybe I needed it. In the blink of an eye, my entire life had changed, and I hadn't mourned the loss of all those years. My body shook against him as I cleansed myself of the hurt of losing everything. I had no idea who I was anymore. I didn't even know what I would do the next day because I didn't know what I normally did. I knew I couldn't fight again.

"I got you," Noah whispered as he rubbed my back.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed when Noah lifted my chin and made me look into his eyes. The water wasn't as hot as it was, and we hadn't even washed up.

"I love you, Carsyn. If you don't remember anything else about our relationship, always remember that I love you no matter what. That will never change." He leaned down and placed the softest kiss on my lips. "Okay?" I nodded. "I need to hear you repeat exactly what I said."

"You will love me no matter what."

He smiled and kissed me again. "Let's get washed up before the water gets cold." Noah helped me up from the floor.

Once we were on our feet, he grabbed my body wash and washcloth. "Do you mind if I wash you up?"

"No, I don't mind."

The headache I had was amplified because of the crying, but I didn't tell Noah. I didn't want him to worry any more than he already was. I also didn't want to take the pain medicine because I didn't want to go to sleep yet.

"God, please protect my wife and give her the strength she needs to get through this. And for her to know that she isn't in this alone," Noah whispered a prayer over me as he washed my body.

I kept my eyes closed because my emotions had gotten the best of me. I tried my best not to let the tears fall again, but I couldn't help it. This man prayed for me. I wasn't sure if it was something he did often, but either way, it made me feel good and turned me on.

After I rinsed off, I watched Noah as he washed up. From his thick neck to his muscular chest and bulging arms, Noah was fine. I licked my lips as I watched the water run down his back. I may not have remembered anything about him, but I knew at that moment that I wanted to make love to my husband.

Noah turned around and caught me gawking at him and smirked. "You good, Care Bear?"

I cleared my throat. "Yes." My voice was lower than I expected it to be.

Noah smirked again, then shut the water off. Before I could step out of the shower, Noah picked me up and carried me to the bedroom. He didn't even bother with grabbing towels and letting me dry off.

He gently laid me down in the middle of the bed on the white comforter.

Whose idea was it to have a white comforter and sheets?

I didn't have time to think about the color of the bedding when Noah climbed on top of me and stared into my eyes. Different emotions played across his face, but the ones I saw the most in his eyes were love and lust. I opened my legs wider, and I was sure Noah could feel the heat coming from between them. My body went into overdrive when he licked his lips.

"I saw the way you looked at me, Carsyn. Are you sure? I don't want to make things uncomfortable for you."

I felt his dick press against me, and I moaned. Since I couldn't remember anything, I wasn't sure of the last time we had sex, but it didn't matter. I was horny, and by the hardness of Noah's dick, he was too.

"I'm sure."

No other words were needed when Noah leaned down and pressed a kiss to my lips. I wrapped my arms around him and welcomed his tongue when it grazed my lips. As Noah deepened the kiss, he slid into my wet opening.

Simultaneously, we both moaned into each other's mouths. Noah didn't move at first. He just kept kissing me. His tongue swirled around mine. He didn't start moving until he broke the kiss. His movements weren't hurried or hard. They were slow and touched everything inside of me.

"I love you, Carsyn," Noah whispered as he stared down at me.

"I love you, too, Noah." I couldn't say why, but something inside of me told me I did.

I felt like Noah was my soulmate. He'd been patient with me so far, so that had to count for something.

"You can overcome anything you put your mind to." He continued talking to me as he slowly stroked me, staring into my eyes.

His hands were over my head, and mine were on his back, holding him close. Tears rolled down my cheeks because of how good it felt.

"Are you okay?" Noah asked but never stopped stroking.

"Yes." I arched my back off the bed when I felt an orgasm rip through me.

"That's it, baby. I'm right behind you."

Noah had finally increased his speed, but it wasn't too fast. He leaned down to kiss me again as he spilled his seeds inside of me. For a moment, we lay like that—Noah inside of me with his head buried in the crook of my neck. I rubbed his back, enjoying the connection I felt to him.

"How are you feeling?" Noah asked as he lightly brushed his fingertips down my arm.

When we finally disconnected from each other, he cleaned us both up because I didn't feel like taking another shower. We migrated underneath the covers, and I lay my head on his chest.

"I feel great. Was sex always like that with us?"

"Not all the time, but often. Other times, it would be quicker because of Nia or depending on the schedule. It really just varied on the mood, but it was always good."

"I thought I would have forgotten how to do it." I buried my head in his chest because I didn't want him to see me blush.

Noah's chuckle vibrated through his chest, making us both shake a little.

"It's like riding a bike, and that's a skill no one could forget how to do." He lifted my head and kissed my forehead. "Trust me, you didn't forget a thing." He smirked.

"Good to know. What was a typical day like for us?"

I put my head back down and rubbed circles on his chest.

"That depended on the day. If you were training, you would get up early in the morning to work out. Some days, I got up with you and made you breakfast. Before Nia, I would work out with you. Other mornings, we would have quality time together."

"Oh, okay. Can you bring Nia home in the morning?"

It was nice spending time with Noah, but I needed to rebuild my relationship with Nia. I had to learn everything about her, and I was nervous. I didn't express that to Noah because I didn't want him to worry.

"Of course I can. Are you feeling okay?"

I covered my mouth and yawned. "Yes."

"Just checking. Do you have any other questions, or do you want to go to sleep?"

I yawned again. "I'm ready to go to sleep. I want to be rested for Nia tomorrow."

I'd been around kids before, so I knew little kids Nia's age were full of energy. I prayed that I could keep up with her, and my headache stayed at bay.

Noah chuckled. "Yeah, she has a lot of energy. Getting some rest will be good." He lowered his head and kissed me. "Good night, Care Bear."

"Good night, Noah."

I stayed on his chest, and he continued rubbing my scalp. I let his heartbeat lull me to sleep.

"Look, Mommy."

Nia had been home for a few hours, and she'd been nonstop talking and doing stuff. I sat on the couch watching her color but moved to sit on the floor when she wanted to show me her picture.

"It looks so pretty." I had no idea what it was. "Do you want mommy to color with you?"

"Yes." She passed me a piece of paper and a crown.

"Can you count for mommy?"

While Nia counted, I drew a picture of the sun in the corner and a house. I was never the best drawer, but I could draw a house. When she struggled after eight, I helped her with the last two numbers.

"You did a great job." I clapped before hugging her.

My eyes watered when she wrapped her little arms around my neck and hugged me. "Love you." She placed a wet kiss on my cheek, and a tear fell.

"I love you too." I hurriedly wiped the tear before Nia saw it because I didn't want her to worry about me. I remembered the concerned look she had on her face when I was in the hospital.

While Nia and I spent time together, Noah stayed downstairs watching television. He said he wanted to give me the opportunity to bond with Nia alone. He assured me that if I needed him, he would be available, but we had been doing good.

"How about we go over some letters?"

Noah left Nia's learning cards for me to go through with her. He told me she was familiar with some of them but not all.

"Okay, Mommy." Nia sat down next to me as I pulled the cards from the box.

I placed them all on the table and picked up the first one.

"A," Nia recited when I held it up.

I helped her whenever she struggled, but she was able to recognize the letters of her name.

We went over the letters a few times, and I showed her how to write her name. Of course, it wasn't neat, but I clapped for her trying.

"How about we go see what your daddy is doing?" I suggested after we finished going over the letters.

"Okay." Nia got up and ran out of the room.

I got up from the floor and met Nia near the stairs. Noah told me she knew not to go down the steps alone, but he put the baby gate up just in case.

"Thank you for waiting for mommy," I said as I moved the gate.

"Welcome, Mommy."

I smiled, then grabbed her hand so we could walk down the stairs.

Noah was on the couch watching basketball but looked up when he heard us.

"Daddy!" Nia ran to him as soon as her foot hit the bottom step.

I stood back and watched the two of them embrace for a second before I joined them. I tried not to get in my feelings, but I felt a little odd since I couldn't remember anything about them.

"Hey, Care Bear. You good?" Noah asked as I sat next to him on the couch.

"Yeah. We just came down to check on you."

"I'm just sitting here watching the game."

I looked at the television and noticed the Woodlake Valley Warriors were playing. My dad watched the games sometimes when we weren't watching boxing. I did remember that much.

"Wait! He looks familiar," I said to Noah.

"Yeah, he went to high school with us. Calil Cooper."

"Oh my God. I didn't know he played basketball."

I remembered Calil from high school, but if I remember correctly, he was a grade or two above me.

"Yeah, he's been in the league for a while now."

"Wow. That's amazing. Is he still with Sloan?"

I remembered Calil dating Sloan in high school. I didn't know them well, but I remembered seeing them around school.

"Yeah. They have a baby and are supposed to be getting married."

"That's good."

I sat back and watched the rest of the game with Noah. Nia curled her little body into his lap and fell asleep. I guess the coloring and learning tired her out. I had gotten a little tired myself. I lay my head on Noah's shoulder and eventually fell asleep myself.

So far, things had been going well, and I prayed it would stay that way.