Chapter 9
I woke and reached for Carsyn, but her side of the bed was empty and cold. I could usually feel or hear when she got up or when Nia came to the bedroom door, but I heard nothing. I must have been getting some good sleep.
I stretched and prayed to God for another day with my family before I got out of bed to use the bathroom.
A few days had passed since Nia came home, and Carsyn easily fell into that motherly role. I believed it helped that Nia was so young, so she didn't see a difference in Carsyn, but I did. I watched her a few times and paid attention when she hesitated about something. I never stepped in unless she wanted me to. I wanted to do everything for her, but Carsyn was independent and wanted to do things on her own. I assured her I was there if she needed me, but I never overstepped.
The three of us had been spending lots of time together, rebuilding and bonding. We hadn't had sex since the night after our date, but we had plenty of intimate moments, hugging, kissing, and cuddling, while she asked me questions about our past and things about Nia. Some questions she asked more than once, but I answered them each time. I didn't care how many times she repeated a question. I was just happy that she felt comfortable enough to ask.
Once I finished in the bathroom, I tossed on a pair of pajama pants and a T-shirt. The smell of food hit my nose as soon as I opened the bedroom door, and Nia's cute laugh filled the air. I smiled when my foot hit the bottom of the stairs and saw Nia and Carsyn on the living room floor playing with one of Nia's toys.
"Daddy!" Nia got up and ran toward me.
I bent down to pick her up and kiss her cheeks. Carsyn's eyes lit up when I looked at her. I placed Nia back on the floor and walked over to Carsyn.
"Good morning." I leaned down and kissed her forehead.
"Good morning. There's breakfast for you in the microwave. I didn't want to wake you. At least I didn't forget how to make some stuff." She gave me a closed-mouthed smile.
"Thank you. If there's something you want to make but can't remember, let me know. I don't have a problem cooking or showing you how to make something."
Since Carsyn couldn't remember anything after the age of seventeen, she had pretty much forgotten how to make most foods. She knew how to make simple things like breakfast and some easier meals, and she remembered baking cookies because she and her sister used to bake all the time.
I typically cooked every day anyway, so I had no problem continuing with that. Instead of just Nia and me, it would be the three of us cooking together. Nia didn't pay attention most of the time, so it would be fun for me to show Carsyn.
"Okay. I only made sausage and eggs. I didn't want to make the toast because I wasn't sure when you were getting up," Carsyn informed me as she picked up one of Nia's toys.
"That's fine. Thanks again. I'm going to grab my plate and come join y'all."
"Hurry up, Daddy."
I chuckled at Nia rushing me then went into the kitchen. Joy spread through my body when the two of them resumed playing. I knew Nia missed her mom when she trained and when she was in the hospital, so it was good they were getting that time together.
After heating my food, I made my toast and returned to the living room.
I sat on the couch and watched my girls play with Nia's learning blocks. She had gotten better with her numbers, which brought a smile to my face every time she said a number out loud with her mother or me helping her. Carsyn seemed to be just as happy as I was. She would give Nia time to figure it out and only help when Nia asked.
Every moment with them was worth whatever storm Carsyn and I went through. Things had been going pretty smoothly, but I wasn't sure if it would stay that way.
"Are you two going to be okay without me for a little while?" I asked Carsyn after I finished eating.
"Yes. I think my sister is coming over for a few anyway, but either way, we'll be fine."
"Okay. I have no doubts. I just want to make sure you are comfortable."
I had all the confidence in the world in Carsyn, but this would be her first time with Nia completely alone since the accident. I gave her time to bond with Nia on her own, but I was still in the house if she needed me. This would be my first time going anywhere since Carsyn came home from the hospital. I wasn't doing much besides going to the gym to hang out with my cousin for a little bit.
"We will be fine, Noah." Carsyn smiled.
"Yeah, Daddy," Nia added, even though she didn't know what we were talking about.
Carsyn and I looked at each other and laughed.
"If you say so, Nia. I'm going to get ready to get out of here. Thanks again for breakfast." I got up from the couch and walked over to Carsyn. She looked up at me when I got in front of her.
There was still a little bruising on her face, but it was almost gone. I cupped the side of her face and stared down at her. I felt my heart skip a beat when she peered up at me.
"You feel okay? No headache?" I softly asked.
"No. I feel better than I've felt since I got home. I'm fine, Noah, and so is Nia."
Nia was in her own little world, not paying us any mind.
"I know you are." I leaned down and kissed her lips.
I didn't want Carsyn to think that I didn't trust her with Nia because that wasn't the case. I just knew Nia could be a handful sometimes, and I didn't want Carsyn to end up with a headache. Nia wouldn't understand it if mommy needed some rest. Nia was good at taking naps, so I knew she would rest if Carsyn made her. Still, I worried.
"I know how to call you if we need you," Carsyn assured me.
"Good." I winked, then kissed her again.
"Go on now." Carsyn rushed me out of the living room and went back to playing with Nia.
I felt better knowing that her sister would probably come by to help out if she needed it.
After I took my plate to the kitchen and washed it, I headed upstairs to get dressed for the day. When I was done, I kissed my girls goodbye and left the house.
"What's good?" Evander asked as I climbed inside the ring.
From the looks of it, he had just gotten done sparring with someone.
"Everything is better than I thought it would be, but I'm still worried."
Evander wiped his face off and sat down on a small stool. "Ain't nothing wrong with that. What are you worried about, though, specifically?"
I thought about his question as he drank some water. I sat down on the floor next to him. I knew if I could be honest with anybody, it would be him. Evander never judged me for my feelings about anything. In the same way, I never judged him.
I rubbed my hand down my face. "I don't even know exactly. Some days, I feel like Carsyn will wake up and not like me or something and leave me."
Evander laughed and sucked his teeth. "Man, what? You, me, and the rest of the world know Carsyn ain't leaving you." He laughed again.
I pushed him hard enough to almost knock him off the stool. "I'm being for real, E."
He cleared his throat and got serious. "Damn, my bad, cuz. Why do you feel like that, though?"
"Because Carsyn doesn't remember anything about our relationship. I've been answering questions about us, but what if this new her realizes she wants different things in life? What if she loses interest in me?"
My chest tightened at the thought of Carsyn losing feelings for me. I didn't think it was possible, but what if she didn't want to be a mother anymore? That would crush Nia and me, but Nia the most. I had to shake that thought off.
"You're going too far into your head, Noah. I understand things are different, and your feelings are valid. Has Carsyn acted like she doesn't like you since she's been home?"
"Not at all. She's actually been more receptive to me than I thought she would be. She and Nia have been bonding with no problems either. I just don't know."
Evander patted my shoulder. "I think you are worrying for nothing. It may be a slow process, but I'm sure y'all will be good. Has she said anything about boxing?"
"No. Like, she remembers her and her pops watching fights and shit, but nothing about her career."
I'd told Carsyn about her career and showed her pictures, but she didn't seem at all interested. I didn't want to push her, though, so I hadn't brought it up in a few days.
"There's a match tomorrow night. Maybe you can bring her through. It might help," Evander suggested.
I rubbed my beard and thought about it. Bringing Carsyn to a boxing match could be a good thing, or that shit could go very badly. It was something I had to think about.
"That might not be a bad idea. Let me think about it and see how she feels about it. Either way, I'll let you know. What's going on with you?"
"You know me." He smirked. “I met this chick, but I don’t know too much about her yet.”
“Oh yeah. Where you meet her?”
I listened to him tell me about how he met the woman at the smoothie shop down the street from the gym. She sounded like she was cool. Maybe she would be able to tame his ass a little.
I stayed at the gym for two hours, talking and sparring with my cousin. It felt good to get out of the house, but I missed my girls, so I headed back home.
When I got in the car, I called Carsyn.
"Hey, Care Bear. Were you sleeping?"
"Yeah, Nia and I built forts in the living room, and we both fell asleep," she whispered.
"My bad. I didn't mean to wake you."
I heard her shuffling around for a minute before she responded.
"It's okay. I need to get up and fix us some lunch. Carlie couldn't make it, so it's just been me and Nia. Are you coming home soon?"
"Yup. I'm on my way now. Do you want me to stop and pick up something?"
"That would be great. That way, I can lie back down for a bit longer."
Carsyn told me what she wanted, so I headed in the direction of the restaurant.
"Okay. I won't be too long, but before I go, I want to ask you a question."
"Yes?"
"Can you go on another date with me to a boxing match tomorrow night?"
Carsyn hesitated, and if I had to guess, she was second-guessing her answer.
"I'm sorry if it's too much. We don't have to go."
I should have waited until I got home. I wasn't sure if my question would cause her to overthink or not, and I wanted her to get more rest until I got there.
"It's okay, Noah. I would love to go. Maybe it will help me." She yawned, so I had to let her get off the phone.
"Okay. I'll see you when I get home."
"Bye, Noah." She hung up the phone, and I continued on my way.
I prayed that the night turned out well and the match would do more good than harm. I arrived at the restaurant and placed the order. While waiting for the food, I shot Evander a text to let him know we would come through. I also had to secure a sitter for Nia. Hopefully, I was on the right track in getting the old Carsyn back, if that were possible. I didn't mind the new Carsyn, though. As long as we were together and happy, I'd take her any way she came.