Chapter 8 #3
His glare was as sharp as a blade, and Elizabeth paled. Then her strength evaded her, and she needed to sit in the nearest chair. She could not take her eyes from his dark gaze and found nothing to answer.
It was Darcy who averted his eyes first.
“My sister wrote you a letter. She was worried about your opinion of her and wished the opportunity to explain the motives for her behaviour.”
He handed her the letter, and Elizabeth took it with trembling fingers, careful not to touch his. He withdrew his hand hastily as if the proximity of her hand might burn him.
“Please tell Miss Anna —Miss Darcy —that I thank her for her concern; I do not question her reasons. I am only grateful that I had the pleasure of her company all these weeks. I…” The words became heavier as the weight of emotions —from her past with him and her present interactions with his sister—overwhelmed her.
“Miss Bennet,” he called her, and the sudden warmth in his voice was astonishing enough to turn her gaze back to him.
“Anything you wish to say to my sister you should put in a letter. I cannot stay longer to take it myself, but you can have it delivered either to my aunt’s address or to mine.
In either case, Georgiana will receive it without delay. ”
Elizabeth’s last remnants of composure vanished. She stared at him, dumbfounded, wondering whether she had understood his words correctly. Did he just give his consent for a correspondence between her and Miss Darcy? What could this possibly mean?
“Since I know you leave Town tomorrow and it is unlikely that we shall meet again in the future, I wish you all the best and every happiness, Miss Bennet.”
He bowed and left the room in such haste that Elizabeth barely had time to follow him with the tear-shadowed eyes she could no longer conceal.
She expected a confrontation, she expected him to be unreasonably angry, and she expected him to offend and accuse her. She was prepared to fight with him, and she was ready to stand up for herself, to defend her opinions and her behaviour against his cruel reproaches.
Instead, he was calm —although not entirely composed.
He was sympathetic and fair though his resentment was still apparent.
He obviously neither forgot —nor forgave —their quarrel at the Parsonage.
Any conciliation he made regarding the situation with Georgiana was only a sign of affection towards his sister.
He still held a grudge towards her —he said as much with few words. And yet, he granted her family the gift of peace and tranquillity.
Everything he had done since they met in London was owing to his duty and character. His favours were done not because of her but regardless of her.
And as she stared at the closed door, Elizabeth suddenly realised how much that thought troubled her and how saddened she was by the revelation that she would never see him again.
Mrs. Gardiner entered, but Elizabeth, deep in thought, did not notice. She startled when she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder.
“Lizzy, are you well?”
“Yes, yes, Aunt, I am fine…Mr. Darcy brought me a letter from his sister. I was about to read it.”
“Then I shall leave you alone. When you are ready, please join us for dinner.”
Elizabeth heard few of her aunt’s words. She opened the letter eagerly, careful not to tear it. The recollection of a torn letter came to her mind, but she banished it and began to read.
Dear Miss Lizzy,
I hope you do not mind my addressing you this way, but it is the name of a friend whose company has been a comfort to me at a rather difficult time.
I have not enough time —nor paper and ink —to explain the reasons for not disclosing my identity to you nor to apologise for the distress you went through because of my brother’s intervention.
I beg you to forgive him. He is the kindest and most generous man, and he would never harm anyone intentionally, but he was surprised to see us together, and because he wishes to protect me, he always fears the worst. I pray that, by the time you read this, he will have already spoken to you and settled things properly.
It might be difficult to believe under the present circumstance, but I was determined to reveal the entire truth to you a few days ago, and only the unexpected events with your family prevented me from doing so.
My decision to spend time in a park far away my residence and to conceal my true name was due only to my wish for some peace where nobody knew me.
I did not expect that I would meet someone who would become dear to my heart and who could be hurt by my actions.
I know you will leave Town tomorrow, and I wish you a pleasant journey and all the best to your family.
If someday you find the strength to forgive me, I would dearly love to hear from you again.
Sincerely,
Georgiana Darcy.
Elizabeth smiled as she wiped her tears, amazed by the young woman’s modesty, kindness, and genuine affection. Even more, she had a strange sensation that she could feel the sorrow and loneliness in Georgiana Darcy’s heart, hidden behind her written words.
Elizabeth recollected Miss Bingley’s flamboyant praise of Miss Darcy, and she could easily imagine that the behaviour of other women —in their quest for Mr. Darcy’s wealth —was the same. No wonder the girl wished to be as far from her house as possible.
She was also impressed that Miss Darcy’s first concern seemed to be to justify her brother’s behaviour. There was no doubt that the affection between the siblings was strong and mutual.
What had happened within this family? What could induce Mr. Darcy to be such a peculiar sort of man, so different from one moment to the next? Why was Miss Darcy so timid and so apparently lonely although she had the love and support of her brother and aunt?
Surely, a great influence was the loss of both parents at an early age. Georgiana must have been only a child when her mother passed away. Elizabeth thought of the happy sounds and loving madness in her own house and shivered as she imagined how she would feel without her family.
She moved to the library, sat at her uncle’s desk, and quickly began to write.
Dear Miss Anna,
Your letter was a wonderful surprise, and I cannot thank you enough for your considerate gesture.
I would not wish you to waste time, paper, or pen giving explanations that no one has the right to demand.
Your company —your friendship —has been one of the most beautiful experiences of my life, and I feel grateful for it.
I have rarely met anyone whom I liked and admired as much, and I pray that the future will bring me another opportunity to benefit from your company.
Until then, any sign from you would be most welcomed and greatly appreciated.
Please have no concern for Mr. Darcy’s reaction. I have long known of his deep affection for you, and I can easily understand his wish to protect you —so no offense was taken.
I shall keep both you and Lady Hardwick in my thoughts and prayers.
Yours,
Lizzy Bennet
∞∞∞
Elizabeth’s last day in Town started with a restless night, continued with Lydia’s wedding, and by noon found her and Mr. Bennet in the carriage travelling towards Hertfordshire.
Neither of them talked much; recent days had exhausted them.
For both, the reasons for distress carried the same names: Lydia, Wickham, and Mr. Darcy.
But their reasons were not similar. Father and daughter had things to conceal, and their lifetime of trust in each other was now broken, burdened by secrets.
In the evening, they arrived at Longbourn, and they were received with cries, tears, joy, and countless questions.
Mr. Bennet informed his wife that her favourite daughter would visit them in two days on her way to the North and declared he did not wish to be present for that event.
Then he asked for his dinner to be served in his library, where he immediately retired.
Elizabeth was not equally fortunate. She had dinner with her mother and sisters and offered them detailed information about the Gardiners, Lydia’s new gown, and the wedding.
Later, when she finally entered the solitude of her room, she hurried to bed, hoping for nothing more than to catch a few hours of desperately needed rest.
However, Jane soon entered and sat near Elizabeth, asking why she was so pale and how her time had been in London.
“Oh, Jane…if you only knew…I missed talking to you so much. I trust nobody in the world as I do you. Stay with me; I have so many things to tell you.”
The two sisters cuddled together in the bed, just as they used to when they were little, and Elizabeth freed her mind and her soul with the confession that had burdened her for so many days.
Later in the night while Jane struggled to comprehend everything she had learnt, Elizabeth finally fell asleep, warmed by her sister’s presence.
Just before her dreams overtook her, she wondered whether there was anyone who offered the same warmth and comfort to Mr. and Miss Darcy so they could rest in serenity.