Chapter 27 #2
“Mr. Darcy, please do not leave because of me. I beg you, sir. I should return to Longbourn —I believe it is time,” Elizabeth whispered, fighting to maintain her composure and speak coherently as she squeezed her wet napkin with trembling hands.
Darcy raised his eyes to her; their gazes met and held, and he answered only to her, oblivious to everything else.
“I am not leaving because of you; I am leaving because of me. Your presence at Pemberley is a great benefit for everyone, and I trust you will have no reason to leave soon.”
She understood that he was pleading for her to remain with Georgiana while he was away.
The depths of his gaze and the severity of his countenance showed her that his decision was made and he would not change it, regardless of their objections.
She could only nod silently.
They spoke little during the meal. Words that needed to be said were withheld; any others were useless.
When Darcy finished breakfast and declared he must finish his preparation, the countess demanded to speak to him privately. He reluctantly agreed, having no other choice; it was not a request.
“I wish to know what is behind all this,” Lady Hardwick insisted when they were alone.
“Aunt, let us not have a debate. My decision is unmovable.”
“I am trying to understand you. I have been in situations, delicate for the mind and the heart, which tormented me in my life, so I am not unsympathetic. But you must be aware that this departure is akin to running away.”
“I am aware.”
“And that is what worries me. You never avoid a challenge, but it seems that you are doing so now.”
“I am not avoiding the challenge, Aunt; I intended to fight. But now, my adversary is myself. Therefore, I need time and distance to carry out this battle so that I do not risk hurting you too.”
“But why are you having this fight? What is it that you want to accomplish?”
“Peace…and happiness.”
“My dear boy, what am I to do with you? You carry on a struggle that could be won easily by other means. You choose a more difficult and painful strategy than is necessary.”
“Perhaps, but I shall discover it myself and make amends if necessary.”
Darcy embraced his aunt lovingly, and she placed a tender kiss on both cheeks.
“I feel you are a fool, and I wish I could prove it to you. Do return home soon.”
Around noon, Darcy was ready to leave, and he stopped at the stables to speak to Mr. Slade.
“I will not take Storm with me,” he said.
Mr. Slade’s amazement was apparent. “You will not?”
“No…I am not certain of my travelling plans, and I do not want to drag him around the country in such weather.”
He did not want to take Storm because he would always remind him of Elizabeth, of the day he helped her to step beyond her apprehension and pet the horse —the day their bare fingers touched. That image was agonising, and he needed to detach himself from it.
“I beg your forgiveness, but I find it strange that you are more preoccupied with the horse’s well-being than your own, Mr. Darcy.”
“I do not neglect my well-being either, Mr. Slade. But I must leave.”
The elder gentleman threw Darcy a scrutinising look.
“The master of Pemberley must not do anything. He is free to choose.”
Darcy smiled at the gentleman’s veiled reproach.
“Unless his reason and duty demand it.”
Mr. Slade’s eyebrow rose.
“Then perhaps he should listen to his heart more. Sometimes, even the brightest of men is deceived by his feelings. At times, the mind cannot understand properly what the eyes see clearly. Reason must keep the heart under good regulation but not stifle it.”
The statement surprised Darcy and discomposed him. Their gazes confronted each other, neither man abandoning the silent duel.
Then Darcy chose not to further the debate. “Mr. Slade, I count on you to watch over my family. I will be in touch, but I will not be close enough for some time. My friend Bingley will be here for a month or so.”
“Very well, Mr. Darcy. We shall do as you ask.”
∞∞∞
The day of Darcy’s departure and the next were a struggle for Elizabeth and Georgiana.
The girl tried to be cheerful, and Elizabeth supported her. They played and sang together, walked in the gardens, and read in the library —now desolate. They spoke of everything but most often of Darcy. Georgiana recollected countless stories from their childhood, and Elizabeth was happy to listen.
In Darcy’s absence, Elizabeth’s feelings for him seemed to strengthen and become clearer.
Every Pemberley location, no matter how insignificant, reminded her of him, and her heart was burdened by a sorrow she had never felt before.
She had missed her sisters, her parents, and her relatives many times, but this was the first time that such an intense longing afflicted her.
To this was added her fear that his interest might be drawn to someone else —that he might choose a Mrs. Darcy ideally suited for the position. His cousin Anne, Lady Emmeline, or someone else —someone to make him as happy as he deserved.
She was humbled, and she was grieved; she repented.
She became jealous of anyone who might have his esteem.
While she missed his presence, she admitted what she had long suspected: that he was exactly the man who, in disposition and talents, would most suit her.
She was now convinced that she could have been happy with him when there was little chance of this happening.
But at least, she could keep him vividly in her mind through the conversations she shared with Georgiana and Lady Hardwick.
All three were worried and eager to hear of him, so when a letter arrived for Georgiana on the second afternoon, it was shared with great curiosity.
“It is dated last night. It seems William travelled faster than we did. He always does that,” the girl explained to Elizabeth; then she read on.
Dearest,
I hope that you, Lady Hardwick, and Miss Bennet are all in good health.
I have arrived in Birmingham reasonably quickly, and I am staying at the Wood Inn. The weather is as good as can be expected. I will continue my travel towards London tomorrow morning, but I have two pieces of news to share with you, both of them related to Miss Bennet.
First, I sent an express to Bingley, which will hopefully arrive before they leave Netherfield.
I explained to him my absence but also extended the invitation to Pemberley to both Miss Mary and Miss Kitty.
Mr. Bennet already declined to travel in the winter, but he might allow his daughters the opportunity.
If so, you will soon have two more friends with whom to celebrate.
Georgiana stopped and looked at Elizabeth with genuine delight.
“Oh, Lizzy, is this not excellent news? It would be such a pleasure for us all to be together. I only hope your parents will not mind being alone during Christmas.”
“Yes, this is wonderful news; I cannot wait to see my sisters. Mr. Darcy is very generous —as always. And…what is the second item?”
“Let me see; I will read further:
As I found the Livingstons returned to their estate, I briefly called on them. Lord Mowbray was also there, and he asked me to convey his warm regards to Miss Bennet. He also said he would be delighted to visit you all at Pemberley soon if it is convenient for you.
I will write you again from my next stop. Please take good care of yourself and send my best regards to Aunt Amelia and Miss Bennet.
Your loving brother.
Georgiana finished the letter, and Elizabeth remained lost in her thoughts.
She was grateful for his consideration in inviting Kitty and Mary.
They would both be excited, and she dearly wanted to see them.
But what troubled her more was the knowledge that he visited the Livingstons’ estate.
Was Lady Emmeline there too? Was that the main reason for his visit?
“Lizzy? Are you unwell?” Georgiana called to her several times before she finally noticed.
“Yes —forgive me. I mean no —I am not unwell. I was just thinking.”
“So what do you say of Lord Mowbray?”
“In what respect?”
Lady Hardwick seemed disconcerted.
“In what respect? My dear, Lord Mowbray is one of the most eligible men of the ton. He is wealthy, handsome, and amiable. He just sent you his warm regards and asked for your approval to visit us. Any young woman would be thrilled with such proof of admiration.”
“Oh…yes, forgive me. I am sure Lord Mowbray is an admirable gentleman. I was pleasantly impressed by him. He is very handsome too. If he should come to visit Georgiana and your ladyship, I would be pleased to see him again.”
She paused briefly then spoke to Georgiana, oblivious to Lady Hardwick’s puzzled countenance.
“Do you think Mr. Darcy will stay in Birmingham long? Oh, he did mention he would leave next morning. That would be this morning…so he must already be far along.”
“Yes, he should arrive at Nott Inn tonight if he keeps to his usual schedule. Lizzy, would you like to play with me? I intend to practice for an hour or so.”
“Dearest, would you mind if I rest a while? I am a little tired.”
“Of course —I will see you later,” the girl answered, exchanging a worried glance with her aunt. She did not remember her friend ever resting at noon.
Elizabeth hurried to her room for no other reason than to be alone with her thoughts. Yet, her solitude was disturbed a few minutes later when Sarah entered with a note from Lady Hardwick, inviting her to her apartment.
Surprised, she accepted the invitation and knocked on the countess’s door, stepping in hesitantly.
“Elizabeth, please take a seat and have some tea with me. We must talk on a subject that is difficult to approach but even more difficult to ignore. That is why I preferred to have this discussion without Georgiana; the matter is too delicate for her.
Elizabeth looked with unaffected astonishment.
“Would your ladyship be so kind as to be more specific?”