Chapter Sixteen
I trust Ren, and that’s the only reason I’m here.
We pass through the city center, then Ren turns onto a country highway. After passing orchards of walnut trees and crossing over a few bridges, he finally turns off the highway. A tree-lined drive takes us to a sprawling ranch-style home perched on a large lot with forested acreage surrounding it.
It’s beautiful, the type of home that fits Ren. In the condo, he’s a fish out of water. Here, he belongs.
When he parks the car, he doesn’t make a move to get out.
We sit there staring at his home, the silence that has engulfed us the entire ride still present.
There’s not much to say. Our usual happy banter has been replaced with trepidation.
I’m wondering what I’m about to face. I imagine he’s wondering how I’ll react.
Ren shifts in his seat to face me. “I love this house. I miss living here full time.”
“I can see why. It’s amazing. It’s a long commute from your restaurant, though.” I switch positions too. I want to see his eyes.
“Yeah. I didn’t plan on spending as much time at the restaurant as I do. But that’s the way it worked out. I don’t mind the commute, though. Helps me unwind.”
I don’t say anything.
“Bree, will you promise me one thing?”
“Okay.” How can so much hesitancy be conveyed in one little word?
“Promise you’ll reserve judgment until you know the entire story.”
“You’re scaring me.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you from the beginning. Especially after knowing what you’d been through with your relationship with Sawyer.”
“Please stop apologizing. You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Yeah, I have.”
With that, he exits the car, circles around and opens my door, all the while his shoulders hunch with worry.
I miss funny and lighthearted Ren more than I care to admit.
He’s almost like a stranger to me right now.
Of course, even I’m a bit of a stranger to myself right now.
I’ve changed so much internally over the past few months.
We walk up the front sidewalk, my knees weak, like I’m a newborn baby deer who’s just learning how to stand. I might fall flat at any moment.
“Hey, Ren!” Through a break in the trees, the house next door is visible.
Next door is an exaggeration. The house is on its own property with a farm-type fence dividing the land.
The man is standing next to the fence. If I wasn’t so taken with Ren, I would notice that the man is a handsome little devil.
“Hey, Curtis. Life treating you well?”
“Sure is. No complaints here. How is…everything?”
“No change. Thanks for asking.”
“You bet. Don’t be a stranger.”
“Thanks for the invite. Appreciate it, Curtis.”
That was a perfect example of men speaking in Guy Code.
From what I can see of him, Curtis looks young.
He has to be in his very early twenties, if that.
A handsome brunette, but still a bit lanky, like he hasn’t turned into a man yet.
But he could be a lanky model in a glossy magazine for tweens. Just saying.
“Nice neighbor,” I remark.
“Everyone around here is friendly. Well, mostly. We’ve had a few bumps in the road. But that’s all worked out now. It’s a great neighborhood. Nice for the kids.”
He’s right. This place is idyllic.
Ren adds, “Don’t mention Curtis around my dad. He can’t stand him. He always says he’s a do-nothing punk.”
“Is he?”
“He seems nice enough to me. A little lost, though. I’m not sure what he did to rub my dad the wrong way.
But Curtis lives in his parents’ basement, plays video games all day, doesn’t hold down a job, smokes like a chimney, and gets drunk often.
It irritates my dad to see a kid’s life going to waste. He needs help, not to be enabled.”
I happen to agree. “At least he’s friendly,” I mumble. And a hunk. For some other lucky young girl. I have a hunk of my own.
Maybe. I think. I hope.
Ren starts to unlock the door with his key, but it opens before he can do so. Standing in the foyer are his kids. “Dad!”
He enfolds them both in a group hug. Then he picks up his daughter, and ruffles his son’s hair in a friendly manner, making him laugh. “I missed you guys. I swear, every time I see you, you’re bigger. I need you to stop growing and be my babies forever. What’s Grandma feeding you, anyway?”
Ah, there’s the man I know and love. He’s still in there.
“Grandma made waffles,” his daughter tells him. “I helped because it’s waffle Sunday.”
“You’re even more amazing than I thought. I can’t wait to gobble them up.”
His daughter smiles, but he’s lost their attention. They’re both staring at me.
Ren sets his daughter down. “Ethan, Kate, this is a good friend of mine. Her name is Bree. She’s going to join us today.”
Ethan mumbles a soft hello, and Kate continues to look at me with wide eyes. “Your hair is red.”
“Yes, it is. Since the day I was born. It’s nice to meet you Ethan and Kate.”
“Nice to meet you too,” Ethan says politely. He even reaches out to shake my hand. Manners are alive and well in this house.
“You’re such a gentleman.”
“Thank you, ma’am.”
Ethan’s coloring matches Ren’s. He has large brown eyes, olive skin, and dark hair. He also seems tall for his age. I think he’ll be the spitting image of his father as he grows up.
Kate, on the other hand is small and delicate, maybe just a little too skinny. She has Ren’s brown eyes, but her hair is light brown, and her skin tone is fair. She must take after her mother.
“Hi, Kate. You’re the cutest thing ever.”
She smiles shyly. “You’re so pretty, and you smell good.”
“It’s perfume. I’ll share some with you if you’d like.”
“Okay.” Her smile grows. “I’d love to try some perfume.” Uh-oh, Ren has a burgeoning young lady on his hands. I wonder if he’s prepared.
“Ren, is that you?” a feminine voice says from the kitchen.
“Yeah, Mom, it’s me.”
“Come on in, breakfast is ready.”
We leave the foyer and step into a large great room, which includes a state-of-the-art kitchen that’s open to a living room with a huge U-shaped couch and big-screen TV. It’s spacious and airy, modern and updated. It’s the kind of home I pictured Ren in.
Ren’s mom is at the stovetop, putting the finishing touches on breakfast. Ren’s father is sitting at the dining table, a laptop in front of him. They both look up as we enter, huge smiles on their faces.
Those smiles fade immediately when they see me.
I wasn’t expecting that.
“Mom, Dad, this is my friend, Breanna Kingston. She’ll be joining us today.”
“Just call me Bree.”
Neither one reacts for a few awkward moments.
Ren’s mother smooths her brown bob. “Oh, I-I didn’t know you were bringing someone today, Ren.” She forces a smile. “I’m Susan. Please, have a seat. There’s plenty to go around. Waffle Sunday is our tradition.”
She’s trying to be friendly, but it feels forced.
Ren’s father stares at me with furrowed eyebrows, then he nods. “Bree, I’m Jack. It’s a pleasure to meet you, young lady.”
Ren’s father is an older version of Ren. He’s graying at the temples, but he looks strong and fit for his age. Neither Jack nor Susan looks elderly. Far from it.
I’m not sure why my presence would stun his parents to this degree. They seem a little shocked, and I don’t understand why. Perhaps Ren doesn’t bring women home often.
Or they know about THE REASON.
“Thank you.” I’m still full from earlier, but I guess I can take one for the team.
Ren kisses his mom on the cheek, then leans down to hug his father, patting him on the back.
I just fell a little more in love with him after witnessing his affection for his parents. So far, Ren is everything I imagined he’d be in a family setting. What does he want me to see? This is picture-perfect.
We all settle in our seats while Ren’s mom places waffles, bacon, scrambled eggs, and fruit salad on the table. I take very small servings of everything. I feel numb, like I’m not really here. I’m just a spectator, spying on Ren’s life.
“How was your week, kids? Good?”
“Yes,” they chorus in between mouthfuls.
“Loved seeing you at the restaurant on Wednesday night.” He turns to me.
“Mom and Dad bring the kids to Exodus on Wednesday night. It gives me a chance to see them mid-week because I can’t wait for Friday.
I stay the night out here on Friday nights.
Then we can have Saturday morning together before I head back to the city.
” He fist-bumps Ethan and Kate. “Watch cartoons and eat cereal. That’s the life. ”
“Yeah, Dad. It’s the best.”
Kate just giggles.
Friday night? We don’t part until two or three in the morning. If he drives out here, gets up to watch cartoons with Ethan and Kate, he doesn’t get much sleep. Maybe two or three hours, tops.
I’m sensing a theme here. Wednesday night, dinner with kids at Exodus. Friday night, sleep over. Saturday morning, cartoons and cereal. Sunday, family day. His life is one big calendar with every single minute penciled in.
Crazy. I don’t know how he does it. He’s running on fumes.
Ren points to Kate. “Kate, tell me one good thing that happened this week.” He’s acting upbeat for his children when I know he feels anything but right now.
She sets down her fork, chewing thoughtfully. “Grandma bought me a new blouse at the store.”
“The one you wore Wednesday night?”
“Yes.” She smiles sweetly.
“You looked gorgeous, sweetheart. Like a princess.”
Kate blushes. “Thank you, Daddy.”
She’s a delicate creature, so adorable I just want to hug her.
“Ethan, your turn,” Ren says. “Tell me one good thing that happened this week.”
“We got to make rockets in science class. We’re launching them tomorrow to see whose goes the highest.”
“What? That is so cool. I never got to do anything like that in science class. I bet yours will be amazing.”
Ethan smiles proudly.
Ren is a builder. A builder of people. He lifts them up. Their hearts, their confidence, their happiness. He did the same for me. His kids are lucky to have him as their father.
I want him in my life. I want to be surrounded by his love every day.
I’m not sure why I can’t have it—or why he won’t give it. My chest aches at the thought. I want to smother him with love. Because…who lifts him up?
“Tell us a little about yourself, Bree,” Susan says. “Ren hasn’t mentioned you before.”
Ouch. Although she didn’t mean it as a barb. I think she’s just curious about the woman her son brought home.
“How did you two meet?” she asks, without waiting for an answer to her first question.
Ren takes a bite of bacon. “I met her at Exodus. Later that night, I found her in the parking lot with car trouble. So I waited with her until the tow truck came. We’ve been friends ever since.”
He doesn’t put an arm around me or hold my hand. It must be blatantly obvious that we really are only friends.
Susan brings a hand to her chest. “Well, it’s so nice to have good friends.”
Friends. Another theme.
Next, I’m bombarded with questions about my life and my job. I answer them all the best I can.
Ethan glances at me every now and then, but Kate out-and-out stares, like she’s fascinated. I can’t wait to get to know her a little better. I’d love to pamper her with all kinds of girl dates. New clothes. New shoes. Pedicures. Whatever she wants. If I have the chance, that is.
Ren’s father is quiet, but I can feel his watchful eyes on me. “You’re a beautiful young lady, Miss Breanna Kingston. It’s a pleasure to have you at our breakfast table this morning.”
I see where Ren gets his building-people-up abilities.
“All right, let’s clean up and get going. Sound good, kids?” Ren begins to collect the dishes.
Get going? Oh. I guess we’re taking the kids out. I thought we were here for the day.
Kate stands up, but before she can do anything, a cute little sneeze emerges from her.
Everyone—and I mean all of them—suddenly holler, “Shut up!”
And what does Kate do? She smiles like she’s the most special little girl on the planet.
What a hilarious family.
NO ONE WILL let me help with cleanup, so I take a seat on the cushy couch and watch Ren interact with his children. They blow dish bubbles at each other and swipe at each other with the dish towels.
And they laugh. A lot.
Again, I wonder what it is that Ren wants me to see. Life with kids? He knows how much I want children. That can’t possibly be the issue.
“Young lady, would you like to join me on the patio?” Jack asks.
I tear my eyes away from Ren, turning my gaze to Jack. Do I detect a bit of pity in his expression?
“I’d love to.”
It’s a beautiful morning, sunny and bright, not a cloud in the sky. Crunchy leaves have taken over the lawn reminding us that fall is upon us.
“I could spend my entire life raking leaves and never make a dent. It’s nice living out here, though.
Susan and I prefer the bustle of the city, but I’m getting used to the sounds of birds instead of honking cars.
After we sold Ren’s childhood home, we bought a condo in downtown Portland, and a condo in Florida by the beach as well.
Sounds like an idyllic retired life, huh?
We enjoy taking the kids to Florida for a few weeks every summer. ”
I smile, feeling very unsure of myself. I don’t care for the emotion. But I’m wondering why I’m here and what it is that Ren wants to “show” me.
We shoot the breeze for a bit, then Jack says casually, “You like my son. I can tell by the way you look at him.”
There’s no reason to pretend otherwise. “Yes, I do.”
“I can tell he likes you too. That’s a good thing. He needs someone. I worry about him and the way he lives his life, always taking care of everyone else but not himself. I’m glad he’s doing something for himself for a change.”
There’s a but coming. I’m sure of it.
“But…”
Ah, there it is.
“I worry about you. None of this seems very fair to you. I mean, it has to be rather empty.”
He’s right. Without our relationship moving forward, what we have has felt very empty lately. I treasure our friendship, but I want more. It’s the natural progression of things.
Jack looks me directly in the eyes. “You know he won’t leave her, right? It will never happen. If you think he will, you will get hurt. I’d hate to see that happen.”
I feel the blood rush from my face as my hands white-knuckle the arms of the chair. I stare blankly at Ren’s father, aware of my pulse beating madly in my neck.
Her? What is he talking about?