CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
So that was it, then. We were over.
He’d said he wanted to ‘cool things’ because it was ‘for the best’, but that could mean lots of different scenarios – including the popular I’m too chicken to tell you it’s over so I’ll just lead you on for a while in hope before finally dumping you!
Richard had been a master at that.
He’d withdrawn his love and loyalty so gradually that for the longest time, I hadn’t even realised it was happening.
It was only after the Emily bomb exploded around me that I’d looked back over the final few months of our relationship and I’d seen how our previously close bond had been slowly unravelling.
The ridiculous thing was that deep down I’d actually known that Caleb had been leading up to this decision. But I’d been stupidly determined to look on the bright side. I’d actually managed to convince myself that I was only being paranoid when I’d felt he was distancing himself from me.
I’d blamed work.
But it turned out I hadn’t been imagining it at all.
I was so stunned, I felt numb on the drive home. I knew the feelings of heartbreak and loss would come, but for now I was locked in a weird kind of daze as my brain tried to process it all.
How would I cope with not seeing him?
My post-Caleb life was going to look so very different. It hardly seemed real . . .
Passing a church clock, I saw the time and reality intruded into my thoughts. I was due at work in an hour. Was it worth going home first? Probably not. I would go straight to the café.
I was feeling so shaken by Caleb’s bald announcement that we should cool things and I really needed to see a friendly face. I smiled sadly to myself. Ellie would understand. She would be horrified on my behalf. At times like these, you really needed your true friends.
Telling Ellie what had happened would soothe the pain a little. She’d put her arm around me and tell me everything would be all right.
A painful lump rose in my throat and tears started spilling down my face. Suddenly, I was a mess of emotions. It was official. Caleb and I were over.
Pulling into a lay-by, I broke down and sobbed my heart out until there were no tears left.
*****
It turned out the café was really busy when I arrived and I was plunged straight into the mild chaos, helping with a spillage of orange juice on the floor.
After that, with a queue of eager customers waiting to be served, I didn’t have a chance to break the news about Caleb to Ellie and Maddy, and on reflection, I thought that was probably for the best. Talking about it would only make me cry and I didn’t want to be greeting customers with mascara all over my face, looking like a witch who’d slept in and missed Hallowe’en.
But when Maddy came into the kitchen, where I was emptying the dishwasher, she peered at me, hawk-eyed as usual. ‘Are you okay?’
I pasted on a smile. ‘Yes, I’m fine.’
‘Things okay with Caleb? You don’t seem as loved up as you were.’
Typical Maddy. She really didn’t miss a trick. She was so sharp she could have sliced bread before it was even invented.
I nodded, smile still in place, although it probably looked more like a grimace now. ‘We’re good . . . all fine, thanks.’
She nodded, although I wasn’t sure she was convinced. I’d tell her what had happened when we finished our shift.
‘Are you still on for later?’ she asked.
‘Later?’
‘Operation Chutney Grab?’
‘Oh. That’s tonight, is it?’ My heart sank.
I’d been planning a night alone in front of the TV with a bottle of wine to dull the pain of losing Caleb. The last thing I felt like doing was driving over to Ellie’s house to take part in this mad chutney heist! But I’d already said I’d go with Maddy, Fen and Jaz, so I could hardly back out now.
So I stretched my mouth into an even wider smile and said, ‘Yes. Absolutely. Count me in.’