Chapter 2
CHAPTER TWO
ELLISON
“Okay… I know I haven’t actually used my legs in… a while, but it feels like Deus has been walking a very long time,” Landon says.
I look down at my watch that states we have walked four point two miles.
“It’s looking less pretty the longer I walk. Why are there so many hills?” Lex complains as he carries Zacia.
I eye August who has whipped out his superhero smile, like that’s going to fix all of this. “August… are you sure you know where you’re going?” I ask.
“I… I do. We walk this every year. I know exactly where we are. Ha ha. Don’t you trust me?”
“Gosh, you guys don’t trust my beautiful August? How dare you,” Landon snarls.
“You’re the one who noted that we’ve been going too far even though you haven’t walked in miles!” Lex says.
“How dare you,” Landon snaps, then lifts his book up again until Asmodeus disengages his hold and Landon falls to the ground with a “What the fuck!”
“Sorry, my arms just gave up,” Asmodeus says before holding them in front of him and examining them like they’re mystifying. “They have gone numb and are no longer a part of my body.”
“I’m not that heavy!”
“He carried you for over three miles,” I say.
“Has it been that long? Damn…” Landon dusts himself off. “Honey. Honey bunny. We all know that you are magnificent… but do you think that maybe we’re lost and we should resort to using Ellison’s map to find the tents and food? I’m quite hungry.”
“Yes… fine,” August reluctantly agrees.
I reach toward my back pocket before patting my other pockets and realize with horror that the map must have fallen out at some point during this journey. Quickly, I pull out my phone, but there’s absolutely no service and the map won’t even load.
“August… August, I don’t like the look on Ellison’s face. You know shit is bad when his face looks like that,” Landon says.
“I… happened to… lose the map,” I admit.
“That’s what phones are for,” Landon says before staring at his lack of reception. “We are LOST. We are going to DIE.”
“We’re not going to die, the car is only four miles that way,” August says as he waves in its general direction.
“It’s that way.” Asmodeus points, and August hesitates as he realizes that he doesn’t actually know which direction the car is in. Why did we ever trust him to get us anywhere?
“I’m so sorry. I’ve gotten us lost,” August says. “It’s getting dark, so it’s no longer safe for us to travel. What if one of us slips and breaks a leg or something? I think we’re just… going to have to settle here for the night and find the camp in the morning.”
“August, hon, it’s okay. You’re amazing. Don’t let Ellison make you think you’re not,” Landon says.
I stare at him in disbelief. “What did I do?”
Landon’s obviously not done. “And even though Ellison is clearly in the wrong, honey, we’re not sleeping on the ground. Deus can carry us one by one back to the car!”
“I’ll get a fire started,” Asmodeus says as he pulls an axe out of his backpack and slams it into a dead tree. Like a fucking full-grown, still-standing tree that I guess he’s going to cut down and chop into little pieces for firewood.
“What the hell are you doing?” I ask.
“Trees that are still alive will be too wet to burn and branches that are lying on the ground will have soaked up moisture, so we need dead and dried wood,” he explains as he begins chopping this way and that while we all stand there at a loss for words.
“We are not allowed to chop down trees in a state park,” I say. “It is illegal, Asmodeus!”
“Illegal, schmalegal,” Asmodeus replies between chops.
“I could like… snap some branches with my telekinesis so you don’t have to chop down an entire tree,” Landon says before remembering that he’s convinced death is upon him. “No! I will die out here. DIE. We need to get back to civilization.”
“I once lived in the wilderness for forty-two days,” Asmodeus comments. “It was only supposed to be thirty, but they forgot I was out there.”
“They… who is they? Is this another weird fucking trial you went through in that cult you were raised in?” Landon asks.
Asmodeus just gives a “Ha!” and keeps chopping while we all stand there as he fells a tree. Literally drops it expertly between two other trees and starts chopping parts off it.
I turn to the others. “We can’t be too horribly far from the campsite, right? We’ll just…”
I stare into the wilderness, having absolutely no idea where we are as night descends upon us. This is not at all going as planned. I had maps and things set up and then… this is what happens when I hand over the reins and allow someone else to take charge.
“I’m so sorry,” August says. As he should be.
“I’m sure it’s fine,” I force out. “We will make do.”
“I can see the headlines now,” Landon says as he waves his arms through the air. “Superheroes United taken down by the wilderness.”
“Yes, because there are things out here stronger than a telekinetic who can lift buildings, an assassin, a fire starter, and a man who could freeze time while punching a bear into the next county,” I retort.
“You forgot yourself,” Asmodeus says as he begins stacking chunks of wood in the shape of a small teepee for a fire. “You could always use your illusions to fool the bear.”
“There are no bears,” I tell him.
“If there were, we wouldn’t have to worry about dinner,” he decides.
“Do you need kindling?” Lex asks. “We could use one of Landon’s books.”
“I will roast you alive if you touch one of my books,” Landon warns before he takes up a fighting stance, like he could possibly fool any of us into thinking he can fight.
“Nah, I already grabbed one,” Asmodeus says as the fire roars to life.
Landon lets out a screech and hurries over to his bag, but he must realize that Asmodeus was joking because he glowers at him. “Funny.”
Asmodeus cackles while he adds more wood to his fire. Like… did he even have matches? Or kindling?
“If we piss in a circle around this area, we will tell the wildlife that we have claimed it,” Asmodeus states.
And then he says shit like that, which reminds me that there’s something very strange about him.
“Did anyone bring any food?” Landon asks as he sinks down on a log that Asmodeus prepared for him.
“I have one chocolate bar,” Lex says. “But it’s a fun-size one. It’s less fun when I’m so hungry.”
“We’re going to starve,” Landon decides. “All I have is cat food.”
“Maybe if you packed some food instead of a library, we’d have something to eat,” Lex says, like they’re already turning on each other when we haven’t even known we’re lost for more than twenty minutes.
“You’re not going to starve to death. The human body can go weeks without food,” I assure him.
This is evidently not what Landon wants to hear since he falls over like he’s perishing right now.
“Wow, you guys really would never have made it in the wilderness,” Asmodeus says. “I’ll have dinner ready in twenty.”
He whips a gun off his shoulder and shoots into the dark, making everyone jump.
“What the fuck, Deus? What are you shooting at? Can you even see?” Landon asks.
“Dinner,” Asmodeus announces before trotting off into the dark alone.
“I get that he’s a bit strange, but does anyone else feel more nervous when he’s gone? Like… we’re going to get murdered out here and he might be our only hope,” Lex says.
“Right?” Everyone is silent for a moment before Landon looks at August. “By dinner… he meant like… he’s running off to get us Burger King or something, right?”
Asmodeus trots back with a rabbit in hand.
“Did you just murder a rabbit?” Landon asks, horror written across his face.
“Well, I wasn’t going to cook it alive,” he says as he slaps it down away from our camp and starts skinning and gutting it right there, which makes Lex run and Landon shake August in desperation.
“We need to get out of here. I’m not eating that! I’ll never eat that!” Landon declares. “Lex, let’s split the candy bar.”
“You just claimed you were near starvation, and now you won’t eat a rabbit?” Asmodeus asks in confusion. He’s prepared the rabbit in what has to be record time and is now making himself a little stand to roast the meat over, while I feel like I’ve contributed nothing useful.
“That poor bun bun,” Landon says as Zacia licks her chops. She’s not too remorseful about the end of a rabbit’s life.
Asmodeus even pulls out some seasonings, which he apparently packed instead of food, and sprinkles them onto the rabbit while Landon asks August what he did to deserve this punishment.
“Do you want fish instead?” Asmodeus asks. “Would that make you whine less?”
“You’re not wandering off to the river in the dark and fishing,” I say, putting my foot down. “There is…” I swallow hard, also not quite sure I want to try the rabbit, “perfectly fine meat right here… if he’s hungry enough, he’ll eat it.”
“Ellison, being sassy is my thing,” Landon tells me. “Mkay?”
“Ready for consumption,” Asmodeus says, handing each person a stick with rabbit meat on it.
Landon waves it off and Lex hesitantly holds his meat stick without any sign that he’s going to eat it.
“So… how old were you when you were left in the wilderness for forty-some nights?” I ask, quite curious as I stare at my own stick of meat. I’m not exactly an… adventurous kind of man. I ate duck once… and I survived. But never rabbit or venison.
Asmodeus tears right into his piece. “I was twelve. We were supposed to go out in pairs, so another one went out with me, but he was mauled by a bear on the second day. I got the bear off him and he lived, but he failed the test and was banished. Oddly enough… I never saw him again… I’m sure he was fine.
The elders refused to send me out with another, telling me if I wanted to have a partner out there, I would have kept him safe and wouldn’t have let the bear maul him in the first place, which is quite true. ”
I raise an eyebrow, wondering how a twelve-year-old could be expected to fend off a bear.