Chapter Thirty-Four
Lainey
Despite talking to Thomas, I’d still been uncomfortable as I drove to Joel’s earlier tonight. But when he sent me a text, I must admit, I felt better.
Joel: Sorry if I came across a little pushy. Apparently, I’ve been known to go too far when trying to help my friends
Though I’m pretty certain he was giving me an out, his message actually had the opposite effect. I would have given anything to have a friend like Joel when I was at Jaiton—someone that went too far to help me—and there’s something comforting about knowing Summer has that. Even though I don’t think Thomas does. Unless you count me.
Now, I’ve been here for an hour and I’m enjoying myself.
Mostly.
When I manage not to think about Thomas.
“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Joel says, as he and Dylan argue over who’s the better singer. I can’t say how the topic came up, but by the defeated look on Summer’s face, it happens often.
“Do you sing?” she asks, ignoring the guys as she turns her attention to me.
“I love music,” I say with a smile. “But I’m not a singer.”
Summer’s eyes light up before she pulls me into an awkward side hug. I’m guessing she’s not a hugger, but I suppose neither am I.
“You are my people,” she says with a laugh. “Dylan kept his voice a secret for a long time, and even though he doesn’t sing that often, people know how good he is. And with Joel’s love of singing, I get asked to sing all the time. And I do not sing. At all. I’d rather give myself a paper cut on all of my fingers.”
I burst out laughing and my heart warms. We are so alike it’s not funny. In another world I think we’d be great friends. “I feel you one hundred percent. It would take a lot for me to sing. Don’t get me wrong, I can hold a tune, unlike my brother, but I have no intention of singing publicly. Ever.”
“Ahh, Luke,” Joel says as he nods in agreement, while Dylan chuckles. “That guy sings every chance he gets.”
“Do you think he believes that he’s good?” Dylan asks genuinely, making me huff out a laugh.
“Of course I do. According to Luke, he’s amazing at everything.” As the words leave my mouth, an uncomfortable feeling settles in my chest. That’s not entirely true. No matter how amazing he is at football, he always seems to doubt himself right before the big moments. And I know he’d be questioning himself now, as he waits for the draft in a couple of months.
“I still can’t believe Luke’s your brother,” Summer says when her laughter dies down, pulling me from my thoughts. “I was a little shocked when the guys told me.”
“Really? Why?” Since I’ve always been known as “Luke’s little sister,” I assumed everyone knew who I was.
“I’m not really sure. Though it all makes sense now. Dylan mentioned that when he first saw me, Luke warned him away, saying ‘you don’t date teammates’ sisters.’” Summer pulls Dylan in close and smiles his way. “I’m glad you didn’t listen, but I’m guessing that notion is personal for Luke. Does he steer guys away from you?” she asks, turning my way.
It’s a perfectly innocent question and a topic I’d even find funny if she wasn’t talking about Thomas being her brother while not actually connecting with him. So, instead, it makes me uncomfortable.
“All my life,” I say anyway because it’s true.
Conversation moves away from siblings, and I start to relax until the topic comes up again when Dylan gets a text.
“Lucy said she’s coming around to watch the Super Bowl,” he tells Summer and Joel. “She said she wouldn’t miss it.” He looks my way with a smile. “Lucy’s my older sister,” he adds, filling me in. “She lives in San Francisco but comes back to annoy me when she can.” I laugh until I realize what he said.
“You’re watching it here?” I ask with mock horror. “I’m surprised Luke hasn’t forced you all into watching it at the Ball House,” I add jokingly even though I’m genuinely shocked.
“Oh, he has.” Dylan laughs. “When I say Lucy’s coming here, I mean she’s coming to Heartwood. We’ll be watching the game at the Ball House. Are you coming?”
Thomas has mentioned he’ll be in Heartwood next weekend, but he never said he was watching the game. Although why wouldn’t he watch it? “I can’t, unfortunately. I’m working.” I fake a frown when in reality, there’s no way I could go with them and pretend I didn’t know Thomas, which actually has me questioning Summer…
“Are you going?”
Her lips pull up into a small smile, but she shakes her head. “Not this time. I’ve got some stuff going on.”
Dylan sympathetically pats Summer’s leg while Joel frowns. There’s something about his look that suggests he’s not overly happy with that answer, and neither am I. I get that she went through hell and that Thomas was a part of that, but… Nope, I can’t get involved.
Swallowing a lump in my throat, I hold back from saying something about the situation, but when she jokes about having better things to do, I can’t stay any longer. I’m grateful for today, and I really do enjoy their company, but it doesn’t feel right. Maybe one day when everything’s out in the open and Thomas and Summer are talking again… But for now, it feels like I’m lying to them, while also betraying Thomas. He should be here in my place. He should be laughing with Summer, and joking with Dylan and Joel. These should be his friends. Not mine.
“We can’t all love football as much as the men in our lives,” I say with a laugh before standing up. “Can you please point me in the direction of the bathroom?”
I excuse myself to gather my thoughts, but it only takes the short walk for me to make a decision, and when I get to the bathroom, I quickly type out a text to Jace, praying that he’s close to his phone. I feel awful for what I’m about to do, but in the long run, it’s for the best.
Lainey: I need an out.
And I need it now.
My phone rings ten minutes later, and I have to physically stop myself from sighing in relief.
“Sorry, I better get this,” I say with a grimace.
“Of course,” Summer says as the guys nod.
“Hello,” I answer, standing up and moving just out of earshot in case Jace questions me. But of course he doesn’t.
“I’m sorry to interrupt you, Miss Bennett, but you’ve been listed as an emergency contact for Genevieve Swinton. She’s just had dental surgery and needs someone to collect her.”
Since I know they can’t hear him, I don’t bother with the theatrics but internally thank Jace for giving me an excuse. An excuse so good I almost laugh at the use of my gran. I wouldn’t mind really picking her up after dental surgery—maybe she’d spill some truths. But for now, I’ll use it as my way out.
“Of course. I’ll be right there. Thank you.”I hang up and turn back to the group, giving them an apologetic smile. “I have to go.”
“Is everything okay?” Summer asks, her eyes full of concern as she rushes to stand.
“Yes, my gran had an after-hours emergency dental procedure. She’s okay; she just needs a lift home. Apparently my mom’s not answering.”
“And heaven forbid Luke do anything to help,” Dylan chips in, making me laugh.
“I doubt they’d even bother to put him as a contact,” I joke, when in reality, he’s probably listed above me. “I’m sorry to cut the night short. Maybe we can do this again soon?”
“I’d love that. I hope your gran’s okay.”
“She’s a fighter. She’ll be fine.”
I collect my bag and rush to the door, making it to the car before Joel calls out. “Lainey, wait!” he yells as he jogs down the steps, making his way toward me.
“I promise, I’m okay. Gran’s okay.”
“That’s good, but can I help?”
“No need. I’ve got it. But I really appreciate you organizing tonight. Seeing Summer helped ease my mind about things.”
“You were that worried about her?”
I’m confused by his question until I remember what I was alluding to. Stuff that he doesn’t know. “I was. It’s been on my mind a lot.” That’s not exactly a lie. Summer has been on my mind more and more lately, but for a very different reason.
“Okay, well, if you need anything, you know I’m here for you.”
I eye him curiously, and for some reason I believe him. We barely know each other and yet I get the sense he’d be there for me. In any way he could be. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but surprisingly, I do.”
Joel chuckles as I get into my car. “It’s the bike, isn’t it?” he says, pointing to his beautifully restored motorcycle. “People mistake my personality. They think I’m tougher than I am.”
“No.” I laugh. “I never doubted you; I’m surprised because I don’t tend to believe people have my best interests at heart, but I feel like you do.”
Joel’s smile drops, and he steps forward until I frantically shake my head. “Don’t read too much into that. I promise, I’m good.”
I shut the door before he can say anything else and throw my car into drive, waving as I depart.
That was a shitty thing to do; I know that. But I’ll make it up to them one day. I just can’t be here now. Not when my heart’s with Thomas. Not when I know that he’s breaking.
An uncomfortable feeling settles in my chest, so the second I’m around the corner and out of sight, I pull over and call Jace. If it were any other scenario, I would have called Thomas, knowing he’d instantly put my mind at ease, but in this case, that won’t work. And Jace will be waiting for my call.
He doesn’t answer on my first try, so I hang up and call again, initiating our “this is an emergency” code. Though, I’m not sure this is the emergency he was expecting.
“Lainey,” he answers, out of breath. “Sorry, I was packing my stuff for the night shift. Are you okay?”
“Yes… No… I don’t know, Jace.”
“I need more information. Where are you? And what happened? Since when are you dating again?”
“That wasn’t a date. I was with Summer. The girl—”
“You saved.”
“I didn’t save her.” I roll my eyes to myself. “But yes, the same girl.”
“So, what…you didn’t get along?” He sounds confused, making me laugh.
“We got along fine. But she’s Thomas’s sister and—”
“Shit. I forgot.”
“Yep. Shit. She mentioned him tonight, and I wanted to say something but I didn’t…and I couldn’t stay anymore because he’s breaking, Jace. And she seems fine. I get that I don’t know her that well, and she’s lovely, but…”
“You’re team Thomas.”
“No, it’s not like that. I wanted to defend him. To tell her she’s missing out and that she should call him. Basically, I wanted to put my nose where it shouldn’t be, and to be honest, it made me feel out of sorts.”
“Why are you so invested in this? And don’t tell me it’s because you have a thing for Thomas because that was back then and this is now. It’s different. When you talk about him now, you don’t have the usual giddy air about you. You talk about his pain and the way he’s helping distract you from yours. That doesn’t sound healthy, Lainey. I’m worried.”
“I love you, Jace, but you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t I?”
“No.” I laugh. “It’s not like that at all.” There’s more to it.
“Do you love him?”
“What?”
“Simple question, Lainey. Do you love him?”
The answer hits me instantly, and yet, it doesn’t, because I’ve loved him for years, but it feels different now. Still, the simple answer is… “Yes,” I whisper.
“And does he love you?”
I fall silent. I can’t answer that. He could still be out there sleeping around, but deep down, I don’t think he is.
“Want my two cents?” Jace cuts in when I don’t say anything. “I think there’s a good chance he does, but I’m not sure it’s for the right reasons, and I don’t know if your feelings for him are right either. Maybe you need some time apart.”
“We’ll have plenty of time apart soon enough. I’m leaving, remember?”
As I say that, my stomach twists in knots, made worse by Jace’s response.
“Good. I think that’s the best thing for both of you.”
I’m not at all convinced that’s true, but I don’t tell Jace that. And when he hangs up, I curse myself for telling him anything about Thomas. He doesn’t get it. No one does. Except us. And I kind of like it that way.