Chapter Forty-Three
Thomas
Istare at the empty, sterile apartment as the realtor fills me in on all the “other” famous people living in the building. As though I should be excited to be around my own kind.
Yay. Cue the eye roll.
This is the second place she’s shown me today, and it’s obvious that I wasn’t clear on my wish list. The one I specifically typed out and emailed to her weeks ago.
“Do you have something farther out? I don’t need to be in the city. I’ll be spending a lot of my time at Storm’s stadium and—”
“Yes, of course,” she cuts me off. “Say no more. I just find most of my clients prefer to be here.”
“How many football players do you have as clients?” I ask, a small albeit fake smile in place.
“Only one. Well, I guess two now.” She smiles proudly, and a little part of me wants to fire her so she can no longer claim that personal accolade.
I bet the other’s Luke. He said he moved recently, but I haven’t seen the new place. He’s definitely the type to live in the middle of celebrityville. “How many pop stars or actresses have you had as clients?” I ask, curious if they’re the “famous people” she’s referring to.
“Oh,” she gushes, her bright white smile widening. “I can’t tell you who, but I have many,” she whispers conspiratorially. Of course you do.
“I’d love to look at something farther out,” I remind her, enjoying the slight drop of her lips.
“I can do that. Let’s grab a coffee while I see what I can arrange. I’m conscious of the fact that you’re only here for the weekend.”
We grab a coffee at a trendy cafe in town, frequented by the pop stars she was mentioning, before she takes me out to see a house near the beach.
And I’m surprised to say, I love it. I can’t even say what it is that I specifically like. It’s more about a feeling… That and the fact that the upstairs window in the master bedroom opens out onto the roof, making it seem like it’s meant to be.
Not bothering to look at anything else, I sign the lease and let the wave of relief take over me. It’s all coming together. My new life. The start of something. What, I don’t know…but it feels life-changing.
Luke calls as I’m walking back to my rental, and I swear he has a sixth sense.
“I found it,” I say as I answer. “I have a house.”
“Bullshit,” he huffs out as I hear his truck engine whirring to life. “It took me months.”
“Yeah, well, some of us aren’t difficult like you.”
“I wasn’t being difficult. I just knew what I wanted, and she couldn’t find it for me.”
I laugh to myself. I wonder if that’s why he’s still single and playing the field.
“Out of curiosity, are you in the city?”
“Nope, I bought in the burbs.”
Now it’s my turn to call bullshit. “That genuinely surprises me,” I say slowly, my brow furrowed. “I’m really surprised,” I add, making Luke chuckle.
“I’m full of surprises.” His voice rises. “Just you wait.”
I huff out a laugh because he’s probably right…and what would I know? We drifted a little after Lainey left, not because of her, but because I stopped coming to Heartwood as often, and with Luke being drafted to San Francisco, our friendship changed.
That is, until the second he heard the news about my move to the Storm—then it was like old times again.
“I’m looking forward to it,” I joke. “But for now, it’s Saturday night and I need a drink.”
“You and me both, but I’m meeting my brother back in Heartwood. I haven’t seen him since the start of the year.”
“That’s great,” I say, holding back the disappointment. “How is he?”
“He’s absolutely killing it.” I can hear the smile in his voice, and my own smile matches it. “He might even be better than me.”
“Luke, both your siblings have more talent than you.” I laugh until I realize what I said, and then cringe. I try not to bring Lainey up unless he mentions her first. Luke may have moved on from the fact that we kept our relationship a secret, but I still don’t like to talk about her. I hurt her and he knows it.
“You’re not wrong.” He chuckles again. “But at least I’m earning the big bucks.”
“That you are.”
“Anyway, I’ve just pulled up at Heartwood U,” he announces, filling my mind with images of our college days. “I’ve got to say, it looks exactly the same,” he adds. “Oh, except for the giant-ass photo of you at the entrance to the stadium, celebrating your move back to California.”
“Bullshit.” My eyes widen. I’m not sure how I feel about that.
“Yep. Total bullshit. No one cares that much.”
“Fucker. I’m hanging up.”
“Good. I’m busy. See you soon.”
“Yup. Bye.” I shake my head as I disconnect the call before bringing my rental to life, with no idea where to go. This time next month, I’ll be living here. San Francisco is once again set to become my home, and I’m going to have to find things to pass the time. Being in Seattle was easier. During the season, I could pretend I was a different person, that I had a different life. It’s only during the offseason that I struggled, but at least that time was relatively short, and there were a few of us that didn’t go back to our hometowns. We worked out together, drank together, kept ourselves busy. But here, I already feel different. I know it’s going to be harder to hide away, to keep my feelings masked behind a veil, so I’m going to have to face a few things while I’m here, and I’m not sure I’m ready for that.
After driving around for a while, I park the car in a secure lot in the city and find a quiet bar for some food. And a drink. I promised myself I’d make some big life changes when I moved here, but for now, I’m still a visitor, so I’m taking advantage of that.
“I’ll take a whiskey dry and a burger,” I say to the bartender as I sit down, pretending I don’t notice when his eyes widen as he registers who I am. For tonight, I want to be anonymous, and when I pull my ball cap low on my brow, he gets the picture, his small nod all the confirmation I need.
“Here’s your drink,” he says, placing the golden liquid in front of me. “And your burger is on the way. Let me know if you need a refill.”
With that he walks to the other end of the bar, keeping himself busy with some menial tasks, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
A dangerous place to be.
When the bar closes, I make my way outside, lifting my hand in the air to wave down a cab as though I’m on a busy street in New York. But, of course, I find the street completely empty. With a shrug, I lean back against the brick wall of the quiet establishment, sliding my phone out of my back pocket to book an Uber.
Thirty minutes later, my head knocks against the window of the car, startling me awake as the bright lights of the city make way for the residential street lamps. “We’re here,” my driver says at the same time I realize I never told Summer I was coming. I probably should have gone to a hotel.
“Oops, too late now.”
“What?” my driver asks, his confused eyes meeting mine in the rear-view mirror.
“Nothing. I’m all good.”
My eyes fall shut again until someone clears their throat and I remember where I am. “Right. Sorry, I’m off.”
After rushing from the car, I watch as the driver disappears into the night before using the fence to navigate my way up the long drive, sneaking in the back door with my trusty keys. I could have called Summer before letting myself in, but I figure it’s better to ask for forgiveness when she’s well rested than to wake her up in the middle of the night.
And who knows… maybe seeing me here tomorrow will be a good surprise for her. She was the one that suggested it.
I walk quietly through the house, using my phone light to illuminate my path, and the second I’m in the spare room, I drop my bag and fall onto the bed, staring at the ceiling as the world swirls around me.
When my eyes drift closed, the spinning stops, but an assortment of colors and images begins to wreak havoc on my mind—the beach, my new team, the bar, Lainey, kids playing in Summer’s yard, my messy apartment, Lainey, the bed, the soft mattress, my pillow…
I’m not sure how much time has passed, but something wakes me and I jump with a start, before rolling over to check the time, the movement giving me an instant headache.
Ignoring the drilling going on in my head, I sit up as a slither of my dream balances at the edge of my mind. Lainey? God, I always fucking dream of her.
It’s been years, and I can still picture her beautiful face like it was yesterday, still picture the gold flecks of her dark eyes—eyes that now haunt me when I’m at my lowest.
I huff out a laugh and check the other side of the bed, relaxing when I find it empty. Always relaxing when I find it empty. I made the decision to end things with Lainey, but that doesn’t mean I ever moved on, and I’m terrified that I’ll one day do something I live to regret. Another decision I’ll live to regret. I already have a few banked up, and there’s only so much baggage I can carry.
The same noise cuts into my thoughts again, but this time I recognize it as Josh’s cries, and a few seconds later a light comes on down the long hall.
I fight to stay awake to make sure everything’s okay, but I must drift off again, because the next time I stir, the sun’s high in the sky and my head feels significantly better. My body clock doesn’t usually allow me to sleep late, but on the rare occasion it happens, I welcome it, enjoying the end of the offseason before shit gets real.
Bouncing out of bed, I take my time to shower before wrapping a towel around my waist, not bothering with clothes since I know Dylan and Summer won’t be home.
The smell of coffee permeates the air as I walk toward the kitchen, but it’s not until I round the corner and see a flash of pink that I register what that means.
Someone’s here…and either the world is completely fucking with me, or that someone is Lainey. But that can’t be right.
Grabbing the wall, I pull myself to a stop before moving out of view. I thought I was fine, but maybe I’m still drunk. How can Lainey be here? She’s traveling the world. Luke would have told me if she was home. Wouldn’t he?
My palm flexes as I itch to call him, but how is that going to help? If he tells me she’s still away, that’s not going to change anything. I’m still going to have to walk out there and see for myself. Because for one, curiosity will kill me if I don’t, and two… I’m really fucking thirsty.
I slowly suck in a breath, ignoring the way the air stings my throat as it travels to my lungs. I can do this. I’m sure I imagined it, or maybe Summer’s wearing a hat. Either way, there shouldn’t be anything standing between me and a cool glass of water. I’m going in.
Tightening the towel around my waist, I stand tall and enter the kitchen like I own the place, ready to confront the houseguest. Only it’s a complete ghost town.
Thomas, you delusional fuck.
I huff out a laugh before grabbing myself a glass and turning on the tap. I really need to get a grip on reality sometimes. After all this time, I’m still obsessing over Lainey. Still picturing the way her lips curve at the edges and a single brow lifts when she’s trying to hold back a smile, or the way her eyes sparkle when she laughs. Those rare moments that I wish I’d seen more often instead of the sadness that followed us around.
After downing a few glasses of water, I fill my cup a final time but take a slow sip, dropping my head back to let the cool liquid soothe me from the inside. I don’t even know what I’d do if I saw her again. Nothing has changed. I’m still not ready to send the damn text, and yet, just the idea of her sets my heart on fire.
“If only,” I mumble to myself just as the front door opens, drawing my attention to the hallway, my hand frozen with the glass raised to my lips.
“You’re here?” Summer gasps as her hand flies to her chest, and she readjusts Josh on her hip, obviously expecting the kitchen to be empty. “And you’re in a towel.”
Josh smiles when he sees me while Summer’s brow lifts in amusement.
Shit.“Yeah, sorry, I didn’t want to wake you last night when I got in, and I thought you’d be out this morning. Don’t you usually spend Sunday mornings with Joel and Delilah?”
“We do, but it’s midday. We’re done.”
It’s midday? “Sorry, I—”
“No, it’s fine. I gave you the key and I wanted you to use it. It’s just…” she trails off, her eyes flashing toward the back of the house. “I guess you’re going to meet Josh’s nanny half-naked.”
“Josh’s what?” My lips thin as I turn to follow her gaze, but I can’t see anything from my current position. All I want to know is…does she have pink hair?
“Actually, you might have met her before,” Summer adds, smiling back at me while my heart races in my chest. “She’s—”
“Hey, you’re back,” Lainey’s unmistakable voice filters into my consciousness, and I seriously wonder if I imagined it, until she adds, “Hi, Joshie.”
All eyes flash toward the hallway as Lainey steps into view, the sight of her making my body tense and my heart pound in my chest. I feel my eyes widening but fuck if I can do anything to stop it, with all my energy focused on remembering how to breathe.
Lainey’s back.
My pink-haired goddess is standing in front of me, her arresting gaze hijacking my attention, just like she always did. Only this time, her pinched expression makes it look like she’s seen a ghost. Me… I’m the ghost.
And she doesn’t look at all happy about it.