Chapter 5
C aya
A few weeks later
The most unexpected thing in my routine life right now was the friendship I had somehow struck up with Rennix.
I was sure things would fall by the wayside after the first few weeks considering he was a man used to getting what he wanted and I was just me.
That meant all I could offer was friendship, because anything else would cross a line I wasn’t up for crossing, or so I told myself.
Yet every time we were in the same space, I was letting him put his lips on me to say goodbye or goodnight.
Of course that wasn’t healthy, but it felt good.
“So, your new friend… You two haven’t slept together?”
I shook my head, peering at Doctor G. “We’re actually friends who hang out and talk on the phone.” With each word I spoke, my chest tightened, because there was more…so much more, but no capital offenses.
“But as greetings or parting ways, you two kiss.” It was more of a statement than a question from her as she looked over her glasses at me.
“Don’t you think the lines are being blurred? You and Rennix are friends, yes. Fairly new friends who are obviously attracted to one another, but not acting on that attraction because of what?”
I shrugged. I could give everyone else the “we’re friends” spiel, but Doc was the one who would force me to listen to myself and hear the bullshit in my sentence. “Because he isn’t the relationship type and I’m not ready yet.”
She fixed her glasses. “What do you mean you’re not ready?”
I shrugged. “I’m too comfortable with being alone, with not wondering if somebody is out there stomping on my heart. I don’t know how to be with anyone at this point.”
She held her hand up. “That’s actually not true…not anymore.”
I tilted my head to the side, waiting for this grand response, because at this point I too was wondering just who I was with.
“You’re with Rennix. Unknowingly, you have found the relationship you’re afraid to be in and entered it. We’ve been talking about you putting yourself out there, trusting your own judgment with people and learning others. These are all things you are doing with Rennix.”
Now that she said it, I realized that was exactly what I’d done.
Of course we weren’t having sex or anything, but we spent a good amount of time together.
Even when I thought my son coming back would slow that down, it didn’t.
He met my son, and within minutes he was sitting on the floor building his blocks with him.
It was that simple and easy. I spent the rest of my hour talking to Dr. G and listening to her feedback. Then my next stop was to pick my son up from my sister. Cylah’s on-campus apartment was along the way and close to my house, so that made it easy for her to babysit in her free time.
I was parked downstairs when my phone began to ring. Rennix’s name was on the console, nine times out of ten making sure I wasn’t backing out on him. He said he had something he wanted to talk to me about. Though him saying that made me nervous, I agreed.
“Where you at?” he asked, seated at his desk as always, peering at the phone.
“Picking up Adonis from Cylah. Why?”
“I’m just asking, lil thug. What, I can’t ask you where you are anymore?”
“I didn’t say that, but you have been acting strange these last few days. Who knows what’s going on.”
He chuckled. “Get off that shit, Cay. I told you it wasn’t shit bad. But I gotta push tonight back a little bit. Indiri is in town and wants to meet for dinner.”
I sucked my teeth and rolled my eyes, knowing I was being spoiled.
He’d already given me the rundown on his family, and from my understanding, Indiri was the possible younger brother who didn’t know he was.
He traveled a lot for work and needed to keep his focus, so no one had told him what the other four knew.
“Fine. Why not say what you have to say now then? At least you won’t have me waiting in suspense in case you do or don’t come over tonight. ”
He laughed. “Yo, you spoiled as fuck. I spend more time in your bed than my fucking own these days.”
“What? You trying to ge?—”
“Caya. Cool out. I promise I’ma be there tonight and we’ll talk. Can you cool out for me?”
“Mhhmmm.”
Of course he laughed. “Where my Lil G at?” He was referring to Adonis.
“I’m waiting on Cylah to bring him down. I’m about to take him to see that new Lilo and Stitch movie.” I smiled because I was lowkey taking him to satisfy myself. When I was younger I used to love that movie as a kid.
“You ain’t taking him to see that shit for him. It’s for your big grown ass.” He smiled, only knowing because I told him about it the other night.
“So, it’s tickling his little fancy. He’s gonna love it and so am I.”
He laughed.
“You know you were invited if you wanted to come.”
“Hell nah. I’m good. I’ll catch the next one. Let me know when they remake Cars . I’ll go see that with y’all.”
“Best believe I’ma keep that in mind.”
A knock at the back window had me unlocking the car when I saw my sister motioning for me to let the window down.
I let the window down and looked at her. She was all dolled up like she had plans tonight.
“Where are you going?” I asked, looking her over.
“Out. I am grown, Caya.”
“You’re not, but I’ll let you believe that,” I rebutted, watching her strap my baby into his seat.
Rennix laughed at something in the background and I just knew it was Reminisce.
“Hey, Rennix.” Cylah dipped her head in my car and greeted him. They’d finally met last week when she popped up and he was getting ready to leave.
“What’s up, shorty, and nah, yeen grown.”
She laughed. “Yeah, whatever. Remember, Caya, I’m taking him to the zoo in the morning, so I’m coming to your house to get him early.”
“I got you.” I nodded. Cylah was always coming to get Adonis for me, always planning weekend activities for them when she could and he was home. She always told me I had him but he was her baby, and I swear I believed it.
After she strapped Adonis in, she promised she’d let me know when she made it in tonight and I agreed. Then she also said bye to Rennix before walking off.
“Y’all only going to the movies?” Rennix asked, voice booming through the car.
“Probably to the store and to eat.”
“Hey, Rennix,” my son said loudly.
“What’s up Lil G? You had fun with your auntie?”
“Yes. Now I’m gonna go have fun with Mommy. We’re going to the movies. Are you coming?”
“No, baby, not this time,” I answered for Rennix.
“Okay. Mommy, I put headphones on,” Adonis said, making me laugh. That meant his little fickle behind was no longer interested in anything Rennix had to say. His iPad would be getting the rest of his attention.
“Okay, baby.”
“Damn, it’s like that? If I ain’t talking what he wants to hear, he doesn’t wanna hear anything. He gets that shit from you, thug.”
I laughed because I knew my son. “Probably.”
We talked for a while longer before Rennix had to go and my mother was actually on the other line. I was grateful for that because I actually missed her and hadn’t been talking to her all that much. The old woman was seemingly always so damn busy.
“Mama, where you been?” I asked. “You dropped Adonis off and dropped off the face of the earth.”
“Minding my grown business. Winston and I have been traveling and it is wonderful. I question why I ever spent so much time in one spot when I could have been traveling the world.”
“Uh, who is Winston?”
“My friend. He’s a chef and he’s paid to cook aboard cruise vessels.”
“And?”
“I have been tagging along and enjoying myself. Right now we’re in The Bahamas. I figured I should call you and see how you are doing.”
I chuckled. “I’m fine. I was worried about you, but I see there is no reason to worry.”
“At all. For once I am enjoying my life. How is my grandbaby?”
“In the back seat, I just picked him up from Cy. We’re about to go to the movies.” I smiled, peering in the mirror at him in the back. True to his word, my baby had his headphones on and he was looking at his iPad.
“Well that’s good. I spoke to Cylah this morning. Who is Rennix?”
Momentarily becoming tongue tied, I focused on the road.
“Don’t get quiet on me, baby. You just found yourself all in my business, so share some of yours.”
I laughed. “To which you told me you were grown.”
“But I told you anyway, now spill. I don’t have much time because we’re going to a jazz festival in a few.”
I broke and explained to her who Rennix was and she laughed the entire rest of the conversation. “He sounds like you’ve met yourself in the form of a man.”
Then, before I could tell her how wrong she was, she was telling me she had to go. Wasn’t that some shit.
True to my plans I took my son to the movies then we went to the store and got dinner. The entire time I could tell my baby enjoyed the time out and that made me happy. His happiness was my joy. Seeing my baby smile was everything for me and I would do anything to keep that smile on his face.
After feeding Adonis and bathing him, I put him to bed.
He tried hard to fight his sleep, but given he had a long day and was worn out, he knocked out before I reached the last page of the board book he asked me to read.
Since Cylah told him she was taking him to the zoo tomorrow, we read a book about the zoo for bedtime.
I cut his light out and moved toward my office. Lately I had been doing more and more to prepare and research for this shop. I knew I wanted it, but I had to apply for grants and loans, as well as find the perfect location. I spent a few hours researching and more looking at empty city storefronts.